Hey everyone heres chappy 7!!

Thankyou all so much for all my reviews! This chappy is the longest so far I think so its for all my reviewers who are vair vair kind to me & leave lots of nice & funny comments...they do make me laugh! XD

big WOOOOO to Rosiee who was my 50th reviewer!!!!! and also to Double awesomeness with Knobs who was my 60th!!!!!! woop woop woop!!

I'd like to so THANKS to my fwend Jane who helped me with the ramblings in this chappy =) (she is the other writer of "Flattened by a Laughing Camel")

Hmmm... so yeah heres the chappy... the title is quite significant as it sets the scene for the next for chapters to come! oooo and while I remember I know Dave came out of hospital straight away when it takes however long in real life but I thought i would make him have a speedy recovery because otherwise there would be not Dave in the chapters and whats a story without Dave!?

Exactly. :P

"I see PANTS on the horizon!"

Miss Wilson just announced that once again, the Foxwood lads will be "assisting" in our school production.

What's more, she's thinking about letting them actually play parts this time.

I wonder if Dave will come? Not that I'm supposed to talk to him or whatever. I'm not quite sure what the exact rules are but I think the main message from Emma was "stay away from my man bitch".

Waiting for the Foxwood lads to arrive.

In the Tart's Wardbroke.

I lost my whatsit (oo-er) when I saw the lads getting off the bus. I think it's because I don't want to see Dave.

Except I do...

The Vole couple are off being Mrs Juilet and Mr-Maybe-Romeo, Jools is snogging Rollo, Mabs is snogging Edward, Ellen and Dec are stuttering their way to snogging and Rosie has ran off to fetch her beard.

For the incredibly dim out there that means I am left with...

"Hi, I'm Dave."

Thursday October 27th

1 second later

Oh my giddy god.

Dave here. In front of me. Talking to me.

I see what Tom meant about the bandana. It's got a flashy skull and cross bones on the front. Vair groovy bananas. Groovy bandana bananas in fact.

His eyes are the same. Browny greeny swirls. But why would they have changed? I am being vair vair dim. He had some head op, not eye removal surgery. Just as well, his eyes are too gorgey to change.

Oooo and his mouth! It looks as good as new. Not that it's old. In fact, it looks in tip top shape. I bet Dave could do some good nip lib-

"Are you ok?"

Oh got in himmel! How long was I daydreaming for?

He must think I'm extremely dim-witted like P. Green and ADM.

Merde.

1 second later

I gathered up my wittyness and said, "Sorry, yes, I'm err, as fine as a fine thing in fine land on a fine d-"

I stopped talking. He's looking at me all funny with eyebrows raised.

I think it's that "what a crazy mess" look. Which I suppose is dead on.

"I guess you heard about my accident then," Dave said, "but it's all good now you don't need to worry. I don't have any hideous scars to scare you with. Just this." Then he waved his arm at me.

Oh Christ on bike he's got a plaster and slingy thing on! His arm is broken! Tom forgot to mention that.

I guess I was too busy looking at his face to notice...

"No" I said, "I wasn't thinking about your accident." I was thinking about your groovy gravy face and nip libbing skills.

Dave gave me yet another funny look. I don't think he believes me.

"Yo groovsters!!" What is happening-eth over here?" Yupp, Rosie's arrived back from the loos. Brillopads.

Dave seemed pretty surprised to see a mad girl (or rather twit) in a beard but he got over it quick and said "Oh this Sex Kitten was just checking me out."

WHATTT?

I stared at Dave. RoRo stared at Dave. We both stared at him agog as two agog things.

"What?" Dave asked confused, "I was only joking, she was looking at my injuries."

1 second later

Rosie looked at me and we burst into laughing of the highest fake kind. In fact we sounded a lot like Libby. You know, heggy heggy hog ho heggy heggy hog.

Vair attractive I know.

Dave edged away over to Po and Hunky. I don't blame him.

When he was a safe distance (i.e. out of hearing range) away Rosie raised her eyebrows at me really really high.

I said, "He erm he, I mean did he like I mean well erm..."

Rosie biffed me across the head and said, "Georgia if you have returned to the land of the Loons that can actually string a sentence together and have therefore stopped doing a better impression of an Ellen-esq ditherspaz than the girl herself does, would you like to ask the question properly?"

I biffed her back and said "He called me Sex Kitty!"

Rosie shook her head, "No he called you Sex Kitten mon ami. And by the look on his face he clearly didn't have the knowledge of a whatsit on the subject. On and if you biff me again I shall set my Viking Lord on you."

I laughed.

Rosie frowned. Scary potatoes.

4.00pm

Still rehearsing. Man this is tiring work. I think it's true to say that my tip-top hockey days are behind me. I'm panting like a loon.

And all I did was run to the vending machine and back.

Everyone wanted snacks so me, being the extremely kind and generous person that I am volunteered to go and get them. Plus I needed stop staring at Dave.

But I don't think he's noticed that I've been watching him constantly. Which is good. Isn't it?

I wonder what Emma would do if she knew? Get to number 10 on the losing it scale deffo.

2 minutes later

Ow bloody ow! Just been attacked by vicious vultures of the Ace Gang and lad form. They are not very patient when it comes to the matter of snacks and that is le fact.

The only person who didn't savage my hands was Dave. And I think that's only because he (thinks he) doesn't know me very well. He is sweet. Awww.

4.30pm

Walking with the lads & Ace Gang

Finally been let loose.

Although I am now walking home sandwiched between Rosie and Sven (he arrived from nowhere as per usual). I think they are trying to stop me walking next to Dave. I would have thought that would be Jas's job but of course she is too pre-occupied with Tom.

They are probably discussing the play because they are vair vair sad. The first thing Jazzy Spazzy said after we got out of Stalag 14 was "Tom shall we go and rehearse lines at mine?"

What did I say? Sad.

Tom hasn't even definitely got the part of Romeo yet. But of course Jas thinks it's a "sure thing". Pfft, she gets chosen for a couple lead roles and all of a sudden she's Billy Shakespeare.

7 minutes later

Rosie and Sven have just galloped off. Probably to go snog in some bush somewhere. How romantic.

Before she left Rosie gave me yet more raised eyebrows. If she carries on doing that they will most likely get stuck there.

I said to her, "If you keep raising your eyebrows like that they will get stuck there you know."

She said "Oh I think not you twit." But she put them down anyway. Haha.

So now the mad Viking couple have skedaddled off, Mabs dragged Edward somewhere (poor boy) and Ellen dithered away with Dec so it's just me, Jools, Rollo, Dave, Miss Juliet and Mr-Maybe-Romeo.

2 seconds later

Uh-oh Dave has come to walk next to me. I'm surprised he's stayed within a 10 mile radius after out last encounter. But live and let live I say.

"So Rosie, she's a bit... odd."

I glanced sideways at Dave and raised my eyebrows. Oh dear I'm turning into the Viking One myself. "Yeah and my Vati has just a bit of a portly belly."

Dave burst out laughing. What's funny? That is a fact.

"I hope you don't mind me saying this but you are quite sensationally mad."

I smiled. "I don't mind."

Ok so this isn't that awkward. In fact it's quite nice.

"Good," Dave grinned. "What's Vati?"

"Vati? Vati is dad. The papio. Daddy, father, pere-"

He cut me off laughing, "Right ok. So instead of saying 'I am the Daddy', I would say 'I am the Vati'?"

What in memory lane's pyjamas?! I swear on Jas's owl collection that I've already had this conversation with Dave. Freaky deaky beans.

I managed to engage my brain and nod.

"Hmm interesting," He said, "So you would be the Mutti right?"

"What?!" I said a wee bit too loud, "No no no do not call me that!"

Dave started laughing again.

"Ok Mutti."

Oh Gott in Himmel I have been scarred for life.

10 minutes later

Just me and Dave walking now.

Rollo and Jools went into town and Po and Hunky rambled off to practice the play. I got a bit of an Ellen stutter from Jas before she left though. It was something along the lines of "But you, what about err, are you sure you should be, hmm, you know, what are you..."

But thankfully Tom called her away. He nodded at me so I gave him a little smile.

2 minutes later

Outside the Gateway to Loons (i.e. my house)

"So this is me." I said.

Dave nodded and said, "Cool, I guess I'll see you tomorrow at rehearsals then."

"Oh yeah can't wait." I said (sarcastically obviously). "Billy has taken Stalag 14 by storm."

He laughed again. He laughs an awful lot. Not that it's awful, it's good... but you get my nub and gist. He is Dave the LAUGH after all.

"Erm, bye Dave." I said.

"Right, bye err..."

Oh Lord Sandra he doesn't know my name! How can he not know my name? We just spent the last hour or so talking! Unless I didn't tell him...

But that's no excuse.

"Georgia." I said helpfully because that is what I am; helpful.

"Georgia," Dave smiled at me, "Bye then."

6.00pm

In my boudoir of boredom

I have an urge to ring Dave.

But I can't. Because I don't know him. Well obviously I know him, but he doesn't know I know him if you know what I mean and I think you do.

He only thinks we met today. And he didn't give me his phone number so I can't call him. Plus Emma would have a nervy b if she knew. Mustn't anger the beast. I know, I live with Vati.

30 seconds later

The phone has somehow crept into my hand. How did it get there?!

1 second later

No! I must resist the temptation like Sandra himself. Not that Dave is the devil.

In fact he's a tres gorgey angel with excellent lip nibbling techniques.

Quel dommage what if Dave has lost his lip nibbling skills with his memory! No, I shouldn't think such horrible thoughts.

10 seconds later

Ringing Robbie.

It'll help me not ring Dave and also I need to thank him for getting info out of Vole boy the other day.

"Hello Robbie Jenning's house." Oh merde it's Wet Lindsey!

What in her slimy forehead is she answering his phone for? I know Tom said she was clingy but this is just new heights of patheticness even for her.

Time for improvisation me thinks...

"Oh HAIIII, me nam iz Gillyyyyannnn iz Sir Robbiess there?"

Wow my acting skills are tip top if I do say so myself.

"Erm of course, yes, sure." Haha I fooled the octopus.

7 seconds & a few phone shuffles later

Robbie answered, "Hello?"

"HAIIII," Merde, forgot to come out of character.

"Ow there goes my ability to hear. Is that you Georgia?"

How did he know it was me?

"Err yeah sorry about that. I didn't want Lindsey to know, you know after yesterdays fandango..."

"Yeah I understand, how are you?" He said.

"Oh fine as a fine thing. I just wanted to say thank you for the other day, you know, helping me find out about Dave an' all." Wow how weird is this? A normal conversation with the Sex God. Or Ex Sex God as he is now. There's no hint of jelloidness or anything. That my friend, is growth! Thank you baby Jesus.

"No problem, happy to help. Sorry about... afterwards with, you know..."

Yes I do know Robbie you mean that wet weed that you now have as a girlfriend as you have let yourself go.

I didn't say that. I said, "It's alright, I know you can't control how sad and wet Lindsey is. I think we both know she is beyond help."

Robbie coughed, "Erm..."

"I have to go now," I lied, (it was beginning to get a wee bit uncomfortable). "Bye Robbie, thanks again."

"Yeah, bye Georgia, nice to hear from you."

10.00pm

All snugly snugly in bed with Libbys 'fwends'. Thankfully she's not here though. And neither are the furry pals. Hmm they must be out playing that well known game of "torture the poodles". What larks.

Mutti is vair vair rude. She never thanked me for getting the food for Angus and son. Ha that sounds like some sort of company. Or maybe a secret agency.

Angus & son; licence to kill.

Oh what hilariosity the furry pals bring to the world. I think Angus has defiantly got his former strength back. And he doesn't walk round in circles any more.

I wonder if Dave walks round in circles?

Although he was in a car crash, not hit by one. But you never know with Dave...

1 minute later

I can't believe I'm in bed so early. This is so not like moi.

But an early to bed person is an early to rise whatsit. Which is what I am. Or will be in the morning.

1 hour later

I can't sleep. Why can't I sleep?

I feel a bit tingly about tomorrow actually. But in a good way.

I think I'm excited to see Dave. Hmmm how strange.

Well not really because I remember I used to be excited to see him but that was when I knew deep in my nungas that I would probably get a trip to number 6. But this time there's definitely no chance of that because we "just met" so why am I excited?

Another one of God's unanswered questions. He really needs to get his act together.

I shall never sleep again and it's all Sandra's fault.

10 seconds later

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Friday October 28th

8.45a.m

Panting like a fool in a beret to Stalag 14. Which incidentally I am.

This is just typical. First of all I can't fall asleep. Then I can't wake up. I only had time to put one layer of foundation on. I hope no lurkers appear, although I do have most of my make-up in my bag. It weighs more than Angus does and that is le fact.

Jas has already gone. Of course, she probably has some before-school rehearsing to do as that is the sadiosity of her life.

But there is an upside (ish), I am so late that Hawkeye isn't at the gate to have an f.t and give me a bad conduct mark.

9.00a.m

Le Anglais

All aloney on my owny.

Everyone is in assembly but there is no chance in hell I am walking in there so that everyone can stare at me like agog things.

Instead I shall use my alone time like a productive whatsit.

2 minutes

Re-doing my makeup

Why couldn't I have had blodge first? In that room they have lots of those microscope fandango thingys with mirrors. They would be vair useful now instead of the window.

I hope Slim or any Hitler Youth don't walk past right now.

5 minutes later

I can hear voices.

"Yoddelyhehoooo!"

Hmm who could that be? I'll give you three guesses.

10 seconds later

"Georgia!" Rosie yelled as she forward-rolled into the room. No joke. "Why weren't youuuu in assembly. We had to listen to Slim rave on about whatsits and whatnots and maybe the bats again." She waved her hands around and sighed dramatically. "I'm not sure it was vair vair boring."

I nodded, "Hence why I used my amazing sense and skipped it."

She eyed me, "Don't lie you were late as usual."

I shrugged, "Maybe...-"

"Georgia! What happened last night with Dave?" Oh joys Jassy Spazzy has arrived.

"Nevermind," RoRo said quickly, "I see you have other things to share with the Ace Gang!"

30 seconds later

The Ace Gang are sat round me agog as five agog things. Good going Jas.

Merde.

"So what happened after me and Tom left?" Jas asked.

"Nothing." I said. "We carried on walking."

Rosie raised her eyebrows. They all did.

"Georgia you know you shouldn't do this. You need to stay away from him." Jas said.

I frowned, "What nothing happened! We just walked and talked! It is possible to not snog someone you know!"

Jas tutted, "I know that, but you don't with a red bottom of your size."

How rude! I am officially ignorez-vousing.

2 seconds later

Miss Wilson has arrived.

Great, back to Romeo & Juliet. The fun just keeps on coming.

3.45pm

Rehearsals

The lads are all here again. But Jas and Rosie are keeping a sharp hawkeye on me. They probably expect me to run over to Dave and jump on him and snog him. But I have more digniosity than that. Ish.

Miss Wilson is flapping around like a flapping twit (which she is) while the Romeo's audition. Jas is reading out lines with them on the stage. She tried to act all unbothered until it was time for Hunky's turn. Then she took it all seriously (like she normally does) and flipped into action.

I bet she thought she sounded all professional talking Billy lingo.

But in fact she sounded like she had a twig up her bum-e-oly.

5 minutes later

What larks! Dave has just auditioned for Romeo! He was actually really good which made Jas go all spazoid cos she didn't know what to do. She really wants Hunky to get it but Dave is quite talented in the acting area.

Although he probably won't get the part considering during his bit he jumped up and yelled, "Yo ho I see PANTS on the horizon!"

It was so funny we all laughed like loons on loon tablets. Well everyone except Dave. He looked vair vair confused like he didn't know what had just come out his mouth.

I said to Rosie, "Clearly he doesn't remember his obsession with PANTS."

"Clearly," she said.

5.00pm

At the park

Hmmm I remember the last time I was in the park with Dave and co. It was when he found out me and Masimo were over.

How long ago was that?! Very long that's how.

Jas and Hunky are off looking at some frogsprawn fandango thingy. Eww.

Rosie is sat in a tree with Sven. They both have on matching scarves and hats. And gloves. And beards. Oh dear indeed.

She is snogging Sven and still keeping a hawkeye on me. How does she do that?

Not that she has to worry, Dave is playing footy with the lads. He's probably forgotten about me.

5 minutes later

Oh my giddy god Dave has just come over!

"Can you just pass us that drink?" He said, pointing to a bottle. I grabbed it and threw it over to him.

And when I say threw I mean gave it a pathetic shove so it landed nowhere near him. But luckily he laughed and bent down to pick it up, then sat next to me.

"So Jas is your best friend right?" He asked after taking a drink.

I nodded, "Yupp her Rosie Jools everyone."

"And Jas has been going out with Tom for how long?"

I shrugged, "Zonks. They're practically married. And Rosie and Sven, they're due to be married."

"Yeah Tom said something about that. The Sven and Rosie thing, not the him and Jas thing."

I grinned, "Right." Pause.

"Should you be playing footy so soon after your operation?"

Dave grinned, "Worried Mutti?"

Oh no. Do I sound like a Mutti?

Worse, I sound like Jas.

Merde.

"I said don't call me that you know." I told Dave in what I like to think was a stern but kind way.

Dave shrugged and tapped his head, "Sorry, got a bit of a memory problem." Then he grinned. He is such a bad liar.

I said to him, "You are a bad liar Dave you can remember things after the operation perfectly well."

"Yeah that's true," he laughed then tapped his head again, no his bandana, "But it's not Dave, Pirate Dave alrighteo?!"

I stared at him in that "ok if you insist but you look like a twit and now you are acting like one" way. I think he got it.

"Oh no..." Dave said.

"What?" I asked, he looked rather worried.

And that's when he jumped on me.

1 second later

Not in that way you rudey dudey people.

He just pushed me out the way because a certain tall blonde Viking-type folk fell out the tree.

Christ on bike I'm lucky Dave did that or I would be a squished Sweedish sandwich right now.

3 seconds later

Laughing like a loon on tablets.

I do have fun with Dave. And we aren't even snogging.

Hmmm... why can't we just be friends?

No wait Emma would flip out and possibly kill me, I can't be friends with Dave.

1 second later

Dave just grinned cheekily at me. Jelloid-alert!!

1 second later

Ok maybe I just won't tell her...

I think this is the nearest thing you are going to get from me that's not a cliff hanger! but it still kind of is one =D this chappy is more light-hearted than the others have been I think but I hope you all still liked it!

Please keep up the amazing reviews & i promise i will try to write super speedy for you all XD

horn's out! ;)