It's here!! The next chappy!! =)

first though... shout out to LaughKittyKatForEver who was my 70th reviewer!!! fabness! XD

also special thanks to Double Awesomeness With Knobs who said she was my biggest fan :P & to LaughLvr who said this is her new fav fan fic XD and to all my other reviewers who take the time to leave a comment I love you all (in a non-lessie way obv.)

I have to say my fav review for this chappy was from Sara... you made me laugh like a loon :P & don't worry you didn't give away a spoiler! (not one I had planned yet anyway!)

Anyway on with the story folks, this is my longest chapter yet! woop!!

Horn's out! ;)

"Gone a bit Batty"

The lads are all here again. But Jas and Rosie are keeping a sharp hawkeye on me. They probably expect me to run over to Dave and jump on him and snog him.

But I don't think he's noticed that I've been watching him constantly. Which is good. Isn't it?

I wonder what Emma would do if she knew? Get to number 10 on the losing it scale deffo.

"Right, bye err..."

Oh Lord Sandra he doesn't know my name! How can he not know my name?

"Georgia." I said helpfully because that is what I am; helpful.

Laughing like a loon on tablets.

I do have fun with Dave. And we aren't even snogging.

Hmmm... why can't we just be friends?

No wait Emma would flip out and possibly kill me, I can't be friends with Dave.

1 second later

Ok maybe I just won't tell her...

Sunday October 30th

In my bed with Libby. And Gordy. And Sandra and every other one of Libby's fwends.

Up at the crack of 11a.m.

I am vair vair tired and when you are vair vair tired there are better ways of being woken up than by your mad toddly sister and her army of shredded loons.

Although she's hardly a toddly folk anymore. For a 5 year old she is rather large. She's taking up more of my bed than I am which is rather selfish since I have newly-hurt toes and achy legs.

I think I spent a zillion hours shopping yesterday.

Me and the Ace Gang went into town to get our outfits for Rosie's Halloween party tomorrow night. I am feeling a bit nervy-ish about it because Dave will be invited I think, (not that I could ask the Viking One on the "forbidden topic".)

It should be a larrrrf though. We are all going to wear matching bat outfits. It was Rosie's idea of course and she forced it on all of us.

I picked out a groovy cat outfit but the Ace Gang all raised their eyebrows and stared at me like agog things.

"What?" I said to them.

Then Rosie leapt forward and ripped the dress type thing from my hand. She is about as gentle as a rhino. I.e. not gentle at all.

"Gee we know what you're doing." Jas said all wise-like and fringey. Shut up fringey.

"I'm not doing anything," I said.

"Wrong mon ami!" Rosie shouted.

Jas said, "You're dressing like a cat and hope that Dave will call you Kittykat or Sex Kitty or whatever and then remember you."

Merde she got it.

"No I'm not." I lied. "Actually Mrs Vole I have two Kittykats at home that you may well know of and so like cats myself so since I like cats I think it's perfectly acceptable and nothing to do with a certain Laugh that I dress as a Kittykat as I do in fact like the animals."

Wowzee all that without a breath.

Rosie jumped up in my face. Not literally in my face but near my face, you get the nub and gist of things. "You hate animals."

"I do not!" I lied again.

"Do too!" Mabs chipped in.

"Do not!"

And that's how it went for zonks until Rosie actually rugby tackled me out the store. And while I was being savagely attacked the others bought bat costumes for us all.

So bats it is.

2 minutes later

I suppose I'm not too bothered. Me and Rosie did have fun painting bats all over Stalag 14, seems only fair to them that we follow up and be Viking bats ourselves.

But I was kind of hoping Dave might just remember me...

11.30am

Downstairs eating a nutritious breakfast of cheesy puffs. Libby is sat opposite me stuffing her face. No wonder she is so big she eats like an elephant.

Even Gordy is eating with us. Well actually he's sat in a bowl on the table and Libby keeps throwing cheesy puffs at him. He is vair vair dim and can't work out where they are coming from.

Although it is quite funny to see him have a spaz attack every few seconds. He is not the cat of his Vati and that is le fact.

1 minute later

I said, "Bibs I think Gordy has had enough breakfast now, why don't you let me take him-"

Ow bloody ow!!

Gordy just bit my hand! Libby is laughing like a loon.

I was only trying to rescue him from the clutches of the crazy child but if this is how my generoisity gets repaid I shall let him suffer.

30 seconds later

Gordy is all curled up on Libby's lap and she is feeding him cheesy puffs.

Ok so maybe he's not suffering.

In fact they look vair vair cute together. Awwwwwww.

2 minutes later

Where are Mutti and Vati?

They are forever abandoning me and Libs to go and cause havoc in the neighbourhood.

Not that I care, in fact I much prefer them when they are not here.

2.15pm

Phoning Jas

"Hello?"

Hmmm that voice sounds a tad to masculine for Jas.

"Jas?" I said.

Laughing. "No it's Tom, is that you Gee?"

"Yupp, is Jas there?"

Tom said, "No she's out with her parents."

"Erm ok... so why are you at her house?" I asked. Maybe he's a burglar. But surely that's against the rambling code. And since when did burglars answer the phone?!

"I'm waiting for her to come back. I have a key."

Oh my giddy god Hunky has a key to Po's house?! They are practically married! How serious are they? Unless it's just part of the rambling association.

But hey ho I guess I can use Jas's absence to my advantage.

"Cool beans, so how are you?" I asked kindly.

"I'm fine thanks, Jas is going to bring a jar of-"

"That's great!" I interrupted, "How's Dave?"

"Erm... Gee I'm not sure-"

I said, "Tom come on you know what Robbie said, I deserve to know. And Jas isn't there to biff you or anything."

15 minutes later

Tom is rather a ditherer on the phone and that is le fact.

But I found out some more stuff. Tom said Dave is confuzzled over why he has an obsession with PANTS which I think is vair hilarious. And he's definitely invited to Rosie's Halloween party which is a plus!

Hunky also said some stuff about the hospital checkups and treatment and recovery etc but I tried my best to zone out the boring bits.

"Thanks Tom," I said when I feared the rambling side was soon to come out and Tom would start talking to me about earwigs, "I really appreciate it. See you tomorrow night."

"Yeah, err no problem, I think." Tom said. "Bye."

Haha I bet he feels like he's betrayed Jassy Spazzy. He's probably worrying that she'll ask for her key back if she finds out. Tehe...

5.00pm

In my chambre

I have put on some vair loud music since the Olds are not in to complain and am dancing around my room in a crazy fashion which is tres amusant.

Tis a good way of releasing all my stress after Libby decided to potty train Gordy and use my handbag as the potty.

It was my channel handbag as well.

1 second later

Well actually it's Mutti's which is probably why I am feeling stressed as she is sure to strangle me once she finds out. But alas it is her own fault for leaving me and Libby alone.

And also partly Gordy's fault. But Mutti's mostly.

½ hour later

Leaning out my window. Mr Next Door is gardening in his garden (he is vair vair sad) so I decided to entertain him by pretending to be falling.

"Oh nooooo!" I yelled in my best desperadoes voice. "Oh please someone help meeeeeeee." And I tucked my feet under the radiator as I waved my arms around outside.

Mr Next Door looked up at the damsel in distress (a.k.a moi) and said, "Be quiet up there I'm sorting out my spuds!"

But I like to think he was sick with worry on the inside. This is what I like to think.

Monday October 31st

Panting to Stalag 14 (a.k.a hell)

So I thought I'd be late this morning for a change. I am no early bird as I do not like worms.

Oh merde, Hawkeye isn't at the gates will her usual cheeriness, which normally I'd be thrilled at, only there stands the octopus queen herself.

"Nicolson you're late." She spat at me frowning. Hmm when she frowns it makes her forehead look even smaller. In fact it may be disappearing altogether.

"Oh how jolly nice to see you too Lindsey old pal," I said smiling at her, "Be sure to turn that frown upside down sometime this year yeah?"

Wow I sound like something out of Billy Shakespeare's stuff. Jassy would be so proud.

Lindsey just had that confuzzled look on her face. Maybe I spoke to fast, she is vair vair dim after all.

"Take a bad conduct mark for your cheek and go to the Head Mistress' office now."

Slim's office for being friendly a perhaps a teensy bit late? That's a bit steep even for her.

5 minutes later

Slim's office

I walked in to find Rosie sitting down opposite Slim in all her chin-ness. I sat next to Rosie.
I wonder what Slim could possibly want with us two?

She opened her mouth to speak. Lord Sandra that is huge, she could swallow me and Rosie whole. Though I hope she doesn't.

"I have no doubt you know why you are here."

I blinked. Rosie blinked.

"No?" Slim said.

I shook my head. So did Rosie.

"So it's not you two that have been drawing voles all over my school then?!" Slim bellowed.

I shook my head again. Best plan is always denial.

I waited for Rosie to shake her head but instead she said, "Actually that wasn't us Miss. Do you think we have been converted into the rambling folk? Those voles are not voles they're bats. They have wings," she pulled both her arms up and flapped them by her side, "So they can fly. They were around in Viking times you know."

Uh-oh Slim looks vair vair mad. I think Rosie may have angered the beast.

3 minutes later

We got away with a week's detention and a letter home explaining our abusive behaviour towards school property. Rosie said Sven will eat hers, which is probably one of his most useful qualities.

I'm sure I can "accidentally" drop it down a drain on the way home. Not a problemo.

1 second later

RoRo is tres annoyed about the detention tonight though.

"How am I supposed to get everything organised in time now?" She said talking about her Halloween party.

"You'll still have a couple of hours. How long does it take to set up everything?" I asked.

Rosie just raised her eyebrows, "Attention to detail my friend."

Of course.

1.00pm

Lunch

Can this day go any slower? I am being tortured by pathetic spindly fools and their sadistic mates wherever I go.

Lindsey caught up with me again at break and decided to personally punish me. Apparently it was for the bat incident but her life is so unbelievably dull she probably thought annoying me would spruce it up a bit.

She is wrong. Vair vair wrong.

"Nicolson!" She shouted at me.

I carried on walking down the corridor.

"Nicolson!" She yelled again.

I walked a bit faster.

3 seconds later

Lindsey has just panted up to me (her face is not an attractive colour, but then it never is) and pulled me round by the shoulder.

"Nicolson!" She shouted again.

I put on my best shocked face and said, "Oh hello Lindsey, I'm sorry did you mean me?" which I thought was tres hilarious of me.

She didn't.

"Shut up or I'll give you another bad conduct mark. Miss Stamp has asked me to send some prefects" *cough* hitler youths *cough* "to watch over the p.e. department during break and lunch. Unfortunately all my prefects are occupied so I volunteered you and your erm, friend to help out." She smiled slimly at me like the slimy thing she is.

But I shall be the one who laughs last the laughest.

She still doesn't know it was me who rang Robbie the other day. Well not yet...

"Ok Lindsey how kind of you to offer my services, byzzzzzzz now, say HAIIIIII to Robbie for me!" I said, giving her a wink before running off.

Haha that'll show her octopus head!

Yes yes and thrice yes!

1 second later

No no and thrice no!

I have to guard the p.e blocks from lower school titches in the freezing cold! Corr it's nippy noddles enough inside on the knicker toaster nevermind outside!!

Wait till I tell Rosie. She will be as mad as a mad thing in mad land...

5 minutes later

Just told Rosie

"Brillopads mon ami!"

What in Wet Lindsey's slimy forehead?

I said, "Excuse me?! What in Wet Lindsey's slimy forehead are you happy for?"

Rosie smiled at me, "We have been granted permission, and control, into Miss Stamp's lair!"

Oh my giddy god.

"Rosie are you on the turn?"

She biffed me on the head. "Don't be a twit you fool. We haven't painted any Viking bats over that part of Stalag 14 yet! This is perfect! Definitely a sign from the Big man himself."

"Oh yeah a sign. A fab 'come freeze your nungas off' sign."

Rosie biffed me again. "Don't be so negativeeeeeeee."

3.30pm

Yes! In detention!!

This is me being positive.

With not a hint of sarcasm. Not a hint.

5.10pm

After escaping the clutches of Slim me and Rosie legged it home and I got ready in record timing.

Well technically I'm not ready yet, but my outfit is pre-chosen which saves zonks of time.

So just my hair and make-up to do. We decided on going for the smoky spooky look seeing as we are bats who are tres smoky spooky indeed.

45 minutes later

All done! My eyes look tres groovy if I say so myself and I do. Decided to risk the boy entrancers seeing as there is zero chance of a snog. Well unless I sink to sheer desperado levels and work sticky eyes on some random Foxwood boy like in the past. Though the consequences of getting a dribbling puppy are not as good as they sound.

The party doesn't start till 7 and I am all ready! This is a first and that is le fact.

I suppose I could paint my nails black for that tres sophis look. Not that people will see it'll be dark.

Yeah there's really no point.

30 seconds later

Painting my nails.

7.30pm

Rosie's Halloween bash

How is it I still managed to be late after being ready zonks in advance?! Ahh well live and let live I say...

The party is a bit miz so far. And by that I mean Dave isn't here.

I wonder why? Maybe Emma told him not to come and he'd listen to her I guess, her being his girlfriend and all. Poo.

1 second later

The decorations are tip-top to the highest standards indeedio. I think Rosie must have ordered a truck full of bats they're hanging from every spare inch of ceiling. It's like that incredibly naff black and white oldies film "The Attack of the Killer Mushrooms."

Only here it's "The Attack of the Killer Bats." But not so much "Killer" bats as friendly groovy gravy bats who like to boogie on down.

10 minutes later

Woo! Just finished a round of the Viking Bison Disco Inferno Dance with the Ace Gang! Rosie magically appeared with 6 pairs of horns (!!) god knows where from. None of us dared to ask.

Anyway everyone was dancing along to Jingle Bells it was tres tres fun and brillopads extraordinaire. I even forgot about Dave. Well for the 2 minutes we were dancing anyway.

1 minute later

Just got a drink. All this dancing is tres thirsty work.

HA there's ginger beer! What is this Famous Five? I must have died and woken up in the 1940's.

I bet Jas brought it. That is the sadiosity of her life to bring a drink from a book.

10 seconds later

Drinking ginger beer. This stuff's great! I can't believe I've never tasted it before. Not that I am open to a gigantibus selection at my house. Water is about as varied as it gets.

5 minutes later

Still drinking ginger beer.

Some random guy is staring at me from across the room. It's probably because I look groovy gravy in my Viking Bat ensemble but still, freaky bananas.

Hmmm he's not bad looking. Well from what I can tell in the darky darkness. He's probably trying to do sticky eyes with me but I keep looking away. Ha!

Uh-oh Sven is bounding over to me with Rosie on his back. She has her arms out so her wings (yes we have wings) are flying about. Hehe brillopads!

"Mon ami!" She yelled, "What-eth are you doing over here when he," she pointed to the lad across the room, "is over there?!"

I gave her my best "what-in-pantyhose-are-you-on-about" look then remembered it was too dark for her to see.

"I'm fine over here thanks!" I shouted above the music.

"You are going to boogie on down with him now or I shall set my Viking ride on you!" She yelled.

I laughed. She wouldn't. Would she?

30 seconds later

Dancing with what's-his-face. I do not want Rosie to unleash Sven no sir-ee.

He is quite fit in a fit looking way. But he keeps staring at me. Like full on staring. It's almost like he tried sticky eyes and actually got stuck. Forever.

"Are you okay?" I asked but I don't think he heard because he just grinned madly and danced closer to me which would be fine only I still have a bottle of ginger beer in my hand and I don't fancy getting it all over my bat costume.

I took a step back and motioned to my drink, "I'm just putting this down." I said and did that really naff miming thing that everyone does through windows.

He nodded at me but didn't stop staring. He's rather scary that is le fact.

3 minutes later

I escaped into the front room which is freakily quiet compared to the rest of the house. Hopefully what's-his-face won't come and find me.

10 seconds later

Oh my giddy god! Dave is walking down the path with Emma! He's dressed as a spooky pirate and looks vair marvy indeed! Jelloid alert!

I think I'll just crouch down by the window so they can't see me...

4 seconds later

Dave just rang the doorbell. Emma is hanging on his arm like... like a hanging thing. Tres pathetico. Why is she here anyway? She wasn't invited. I don't think I can stand to see her flaunt Dave around the place.

Ooo Rosie and Jas have just opened the door. Fab. Jas will probably welcome Emma with open rambling arms.

2 seconds later

"Can we help you?" Jas asked. She doesn't sound very Jas-ish. Hmmm...

Emma frowned, "This is the party right?"

Rosie stepped forward and shut the door behind her and Jas. "Yes it is. But I don't remember inviting you and my Viking memory is tip-top."

Oh Lord Sandra this could turn into fistcuffs!

Dave looks vair confused. I guess Emma hasn't mentioned anything to him then.

"What's wrong? Rosie? Jas?" He asked looking between the two.

They did a bit of shifty eyes. Uh-oh.

1 second later

Why am I walking towards the door? What am I doing?! Stop feet stop!

3 seconds later

"Rosie, Jas," I said after opening the door, "It's ok, let them in."

They stared at me incredulously. Rosie said "But...what, no we can't, she..." Good god Ellen's got her tongue, I've never seen Rosie struggle for words.

I looked at Emma and she avoided my eyes. Charming after I just saved her butt.

5 seconds later

Emma just edged past us gripping Dave's hand.

She was right to keep her distance. Rosie looks like she's about to bite her head off. Jas is even throwing her daggers. Wow.

Dave gave me a funny look as he passed. It made me feel a bit queasy actually.

2 seconds later

Uh-oh I am being goggled at. I wonder if I can just leave...

"What just happened here Gee?" Jas asked.

"Well I, erm..."

"Spit it out," Rosie said which I think is a bit hypercritical myself.

"I just thought she should come in that's all." I managed to say.

"Why?!" Jas and Rosie shouted together.

"I think you've gone a bit batty mon ami." Rosie said, "Come on she stopped you from seeing Dave and is lying to him about you two! And now you want to play nice and let her groove at my party?"

"Hold on a flying pigging second!" I shouted, "You two haven't let me hear or speak about Dave after the hospital fiasco! I thought you were on Emma's side!"

"Gee," Jas said quietly, "we were trying to help you get over him. What Emma did was horrible and wrong. We all know how much you two should have been together, and we were all rooting for you, even me," she smiled sadly, "but Emma did what she did and now he's with her. We just don't want you to get hurt that's all. I know it's hard to accept, and I wish it wasn't true, but Dave doesn't remember you. I'm so sorry Gee."

1 second later

My eyes have filled with tears to blub. Why am I blubbing? I thought I was past that stage.

Unless I'm not crying about Dave.

In fact, I think I'm crying about Jas. And Rosie. But happy crying if you get my nub and gist.

Jas and Rosie leaned forward and pulled me into a big bat hug. It feels strangely nice.

2 seconds later

"Thanks," I said quietly, "I... I love you two."

Jas said, "But not in a lezzie way right?"

I grinned, "Right."

9.30pm

Ok so the party isn't so bad. Rosie and Jas have managed to refrain themselves from biffing Emma and we had a few more goes at the Viking Bison Disco Inferno Dance and for piece of resistance the Viking Disco Hornpipe dance! Rosie had even made special bat ear-shaped ear muffs for us to wear and gave us paddles with little bad wings attacked! That is the cream of the whatsits if there ever was one.

I like to think Dave was very impressed with our sophisiosity. This is what I like to think.

Well at the end when we all cried "Land AHOYYY" he laughed like a loon and then joined in! He probably thought we were being Pirates or something so felt quite at home.

2 seconds later

I had a bit of a nervy-b around 9 when I saw Dave dancing vair vair close with Emma. If they weren't carefully they would knock each other out on the fast parts.

Jas had asked, "What's up Gee?"

I thought as quick as a quick thing and pointed to my bottle saying, "I've ran out of ginger beer."

Jas smiled kindly, "I think I saw some more shall I get it?"

I shook my head, "No that's ok I think I've had enough alcohol I feel a bit dizzy actually."

Jas laughed.

"What?"

She said "Gee, ginger beer is non-alcoholic."

"Oh."

10 minutes later

I went to cool off outside. I am sweating like a bat in a bat costume and that is le fact.

What with all the drama I didn't have time to sort out my makeup so I used a window to re-do it.

10 seconds later

Oh Sandra's PANTS I think I just had a heart attack!

I was putting on some more lippy when Dave's face popped up in the window! And being the amazingly cool cumber that I am I fell back into the flowerbed like a twit.

And so now my botty hurts.

I shouldn't be surprised really. Dave always manages to make me hurt my bum-e-oly. Though normally it happens when we're snogging...

5 seconds later

"Are you ok?"

Uh-oh Dave is stood above me holding his hand out. It is vair vair dark out here.

I reached for his hand and he pulled me up straight.

"Erm sorry about that," he laughed, "its Halloween an'all so I thought I'd do a bit of spooking."

"S'ok." I said wiping the mud off my outfit. "Just caught me by surprise."

"Yeah," Dave said laughing again, "that was the idea."

"Erm, well then, err, well done." I said and offered him my hand to shake.

What in Miss Stamp's moustache am I doing?!

Dave grinned (I think) and shook my hand thankfully. It felt weird. But good weird. In fact I think jelloid weird.

1 second later

I've just noticed how close me and Dave are. I think if I went on my tip-toes and forward a bit I could reach Dave's mouth...

Oh no my lips have puckered up! Bad lips! At least its tres dark out here.

Dave leaned forward for like a teensy second (or I imagined it) and I thought he was going to snog me!!

But then he said in a vair mysterious voice, "Right well I should get back in now," and turned and walked inside!

You have got to be kidding me Big G.

Just before I forget - a quick disclaimer - I do not (unfortunately) own the Famous Five or famous ginger beer *sob* but live and let live...

so what did you think of this chappy? this cliff hanger is a tad more subtle but Gee didn't get what she wanted :( and believe me I am just as miz about it as you lot! (but I know the plot mwhaaaaa)

this chappy, (although you may not have realised) is quite significant to the plot so i hope you paid attention ;)

please share your thoughty whatsits and let me know EVERYTHING you are thinking XD

horn's out!! ;)