Wooo chapter 9 already! And this one is super cool because it has a new dance! (as you've probably guessed from the title unless you are unfortunately vair vair dim) anyway i made the dance up myself indeedio and shall be making a vid and putting it on youtube before long because i am that cool. Ye-ah.
What I'm planning for this fanfic is for it to finish on xmas day! which i think is a great pressie for everyone! XD
i shall put a new chappy up everytime my fan fic falls into 10th or higher if you get my drift. this should give everyone a good time to see it has been updated and hopefully review (?!) but of course if i get lots of reviews beforehand i shall update faster XD
to xbabimiax - Dave didn't remember Emma after his crash, but he just went out with her anyway because she told him she was his girlfriend
BIG THANKS to darcyLOVESmarissa who was indeed my 80th reviewer!! woop woop!!
and a big WOOP to nat3brian because your review was deffo my fav for this chap it made me smile XD
anyway sorry for the rambling.. horn's out for moi ;)
"The Viking Fire Dance"
Tom said Dave is confuzzled over why he has an obsession with PANTS which I think is vair hilarious. And he's definitely invited to Rosie's Halloween party which is a plus!
Hunky also said some stuff about the hospital checkups and treatment and recovery etc but I tried my best to zone out the boring bits.
Dancing with what's-his-face.
He is quite fit in a fit looking way. But he keeps staring at me. Like full on staring. It's almost like he tried sticky eyes and actually got stuck. Forever...
Oh Sandra's PANTS I think I just had a heart attack!
I was putting on some more lippy when Dave's face popped up in the window!...
I've just noticed how close me and Dave are. I think if I went on my tip-toes and forward a bit I could reach Dave's mouth...
Dave leaned forward for like a teensy second (or I imagined it) and I thought he was going to snog me!!
But then he said in a vair mysterious voice, "Right well I should get back in now," and turned and walked inside!
You have got to be kidding me Big G.
Friday November 4th
Stalag 14: Lunch
Freezing my nunga-nungas
Corr its vair nippy noodles out here!
Yes me and Rosie are stood outside the p.e block like idiot twits slave to the Wet one's torture. Since we have had rehearsals pretty much every day this week Slim changed our detentions to Wet Lindsey's suggestion of p.e block monitoring as stand-in prefects during lunch and break.
I have never been so freezing in all my life.
I can't even see Rosie. She has a gigantibus coat on with a hood that coverings all her head and gloves and a scarf. She claims it's because that's how Vikings used to dress but I know she is just nippy noodles to her core like moi.
We did have fun on Tuesday when our punishment first started. But that was mainly because all we did was paint Viking bats around the p.e buildings. But then the novelty wore off when we had no where left to paint and remembered Halloween was in fact over.
3.30pm
Rom & Jule Rehearsals
Shivering like shivering thing on shivering tablets.
Me and Rosie have officially entered the valley of the nippy noodles and can't find a way out. We spent the whole of blodge with our bum-e-olys attached to the knicker toaster but alas it did no good.
2 minutes later
"Are you two ok? You look a bit cold?"
Oh full marks to Jazzy Spazzy.
"Shhhuuuttt U-upp." I said and Rosie biffed her.
Well tried to biff her, her arm got stuck halfway.
10 minutes later
Dave is avoiding me. Well not that we really talked much anyway. But the point is he hasn't spoken to me since the Halloween party which was like a zillion days ago.
Well actually 4 but you get my drift.
I wonder why not? Does he not want to be my friend anymore? He seemed keen the other day.
I bet it's my nose. That'll but anyone off.
2 minutes later
I crept over to Tom, "What's up with Dave?"
Hunky went all shifty and looked around to make sure Jas wasn't watching. He is soooo paranoid.
"I'm not sure, he hasn't really been around much since Monday night."
I frowned, "What do you mean?"
He gulped and looked uncertainly at me, "Well he's been with Emma."
Ahh.
Merde and also poo.
I sulked back over to the Ace Gang.
"Emma's keeping Dave locked up somewhere so he can't see me." I said to no one in particular.
Rosie turned to me and I think she was frowning. (It's hard to tell when her face is frozen in one place.) "Youuu-u watch i-ttt."
Pfft.
4.15pm
All finished. Jas is overjoyed. Guess who got the part of Romeo?
I'll give you a clue, it starts with a 'H' and ends in 'unky'.
I have been demoted to "behind-the-scenes" which is another way of saying "bugger-all". I don't mind though. Should be a laugh since Dave is also there.
Well if he decides to talk to me that is. Hmm.
2 minutes later
Everyone is ready to leave.
Rollo shouted, "Dave you coming?"
Dave (who was over the other side of the room) rubbed his head and said, "Erm well I err, I'm not sure..."
Hmm, the phrase "having an Ellen moment" comes to mind.
Rollo waved his hand, "Look mate you coming her not?"
Dave muttered something to himself then shouted, "Yeah, yeah wait up."
3 minutes later
Walking home. Me and Rosie are shuffling along like frozen cod pieces. How attractive. Not.
"Have you two not warmed up yet?" Jas asked.
We turned to glare at her.
"I guess not then," She said quietly shuffling over to Hunky. Pa-thetic.
Dave is at the back. He's still not said a word to me.
Should I go over and talk to him?
No that would make me as pathetic as Mrs Juliet.
1 minute later
Walking next to Dave. Rollo shifted off home with Jools.
"So... you see the footy scores recently?"
What in Sandra's name am I talking about?!!
Dave laughed and said, "Sure."
"Good good." I said, "Me too... So you've been a bit quiet recently." I said because I'm le idiot.
Dave shifted a bit, "Yeah well, you know how it is busy with work and stuff. Especially since I've lost two years of my education."
I raised my eyebrows. Dave worried about work? Even a car crash can't do that to him.
"Ok maybe it's not work." Dave said grinning.
"Ok. What is it?"
"I'm not sure I should be telling you." He said, "It's, kind of private I guess."
I went off on one, "Oh right yeah because you don't know me since we just kinda met but you obviously know Emma so much better even though technically you only just met her as well but whatever you-"
I stopped.
Dave is looking at me funny, "You know Emma?"
Merde.
"No not really. Well I know her like heard of her and stuff but do I know her know her? Nope."
That should clear it up.
"Errr right."
"Right."
In the lounge of chez moi
It's official, Dave thinks I'm a twit of highest orders. Why did I mention football? No good things can come from mentioning football that is le fact.
"Georgia move out the room me and Eddie want to watch the footy!"
See what I mean.
10 minutes later
I have been ran out my own house. How rude.
I am now sitting on the wall freezing my botty off yet again. Even Angus and Gordy are inside probably in the airing cupboard with Libby. Do you know how hot it is in there?!
A lot hotter than out here.
Brrr nippy noodles.
2 minutes later
Oh my giddy god someone is walking down the street! And by someone I mean a certain lad going by the name of Dave. Oh gott in himmel.
3 minutes later
What in the name of Dave's pirate bandana?! He has just walked straight past me! Straight past! He didn't even look or smile or turn or speak. Maybe he didn't recognise me.
How can he not recognise me?!
2 seconds later
Was it Dave that walked past?
30 seconds later
"Georgia?"
Oh my Lord Sandra. Where did he come from?!
"Errr hi Dave."
"What are you doing out here it's freezing?"
"Yeah," I shivered, "I know. My Olds locked me out."
"Ahh, that's too bad."
I nodded like a nodding dog. "So why are you ... wandering the streets?"
Dave rubbed his head again. He does that a lot these days.
"Just... am I guess. Need to get a little space."
"Oh I totally understand I am constantly trying to get away from Mutti and Vati and the rest of the clown troupe which is why I'm sat out here freezing off my bum-e-oly instead of battering the door down."
Dave looked at me and grinned, "No, it's not my parents. It's... well it's my erm, girlfriend I guess."
He said girlfriend weird. He definitely said girlfriend weird. I wonder what merde and suckish turns his relationship has taken? I wonder if it's all arguments and fighting and hatred?
This is great!
2 seconds later
"Emma right?" I said acting as cool as le cucumber.
"That's the one," Dave said eyeing me suspiciously for a moment then relaxing. Phew.
"Well do you want to erm, you know, talk about it?" I asked.
Dave shook his head. "No, I probably shouldn't."
5 seconds later
Dave has joined me on the wall.
"It's just awkward if you get me."
I nodded in agreement. "Yupp, I've been down that road."
"You have?" Dave said, "What happened?"
Normally I would biff him and tell him to stop being such a nosy bugger.
But I won't as its Dave. And I want info off him too.
"Well I used to go out with this guitar plucker and after we broke up it was awkwardness-a-go-go cos he started going out with a wet weed but now we're matey mates so everything is brillo-pads."
Dave laughed. What's funny?
"So you broke up with him?" He asked.
I shook my head, "No he just chose to go snog wombats in Kiwi-a-go-go land instead of me."
"Oh." Dave said.
Oh indeed.
30 seconds later
"So what about you?" I asked wondering whether he would answer or call this his "private business".
He shrugged, "I guess I'm not really sure. She's nice and everything, but when we're together it's just a little..."
"Awkward?"
He nodded. "Plus it's not as if you had a choice." I said in a wise way that reflects me best.
Dave frowned, "What do you mean?"
"Well, and this is just what I heard," I added just in case, "you came round from your accident and suddenly you have a girlfriend there all ready and waiting."
Dave nodded.
"And well... you may not even want to go out with her but you couldn't really say no so..." Oh Christ on bike Dave is full on glaring at me. Uh-oh.
He jumped off the wall.
"What are you saying?! That I don't want to go out with her? She's my girlfriend you can hardly expect me to just dump her after what she's been through."
What she's been through?! The only thing she's been through is plotting and scheming to get me out the way.
I didn't say that. I just sat on the wall as quiet as a mouse.
Dave is shaking his head, "That's just, it's... it's not very-"
"Caring?" I said and Dave nodded.
Of course. The 'C' word.
Merde.
8.00pm
In bed
I think I may stay in bed for the rest of my life while I lie on the rack of love.
It is vair tiring business this stuff.
Dave left pretty soon after realising he had said too much about Emma and quickly scampered off. Probably back to Emma. To tell her how much he cares about her and how he loves that she is so caring.
Double poo with knobs.
Well I don't need caringness. I have my furry pals.
That's right, Angus and Cross-Eyed Gordy will stick with me till the bitter ends of endingness.
Well unless I throw them out first as they are currently attacking my slippers. While I am wearing them.
2 seconds later
OW BLOODY OW!
Saturday November 5th
In bed
9.00am
What sort of ridiculous time is this? A vair ridiculous one that is le fact.
I see my feet survived the night. I'm surprised Angus and Gordy didn't rip them to shreds. Still, it must be a good sign to still have my toesies.
I can hear stomping downstairs. Sounds like a herd of elephants.
Libby must be awake.
1 minute later
Ahh its bonfire whatsits night tonight. Joys unbounded.
The furry pals will be pleased. The Prat Poodles will not. Good.
30 seconds later
I told the Ace Gang I would go with them to some fire-fandango on the back fields tonight but I really don't want to go.
I suppose I can just ring Jas and tell her I have the painters in. She should understand, she's always off cos of that. Rosie won't be happy though. She was planning on showing us all her new-invented Viking-Fire Dance.
In fact she will probably come and drag me out.
Merde.
5 minutes later
Eating a nutritious breakfast of pop tarts.
I nearly had a heart attack when I opened the cupboard – we actually have cereal in! But Gordy has eaten his way through the box so there are now rice crispies splattered everywhere. But live and let live I say, Mutti will have fun not clearing it up.
I'm sure Libby will eat her way through them soon enough. Speaking of the little toddly folk, or rather hugmongus toddly folk, where are the Swiss Family Mad? They normally start ruining my day much sooner on.
2.00pm
Rosie has come round.
I think she must have a touch of the mystic meg about her and knew I was thinking of skipping the bonfire whatsit. It's like she is keeping me under close eye-arrest until it's time to go. She won't even let me go to my room on my ownsies.
It's worse than having Vati around.
1 second later
No I take that back.
3 minutes later
Rosie is blocking my way.
"And where are you going Missus?" She asked me in a vair vair suspicious way.
I raised my eyebrows, "The piddly-diddly department you fool now get out my way."
She shrugged and let me past but then followed me all the way to the bathroom. She is not coming to the piddly diddly department with me that is le fact!
I said to her, "You are not coming in here with me you lessie."
She biffed me.
Ow.
1 minute later
Well this is freaky bananas.
Rosie keeps talking to me while I'm on the loo. Probably to check I've not sneaked out the window or something. As if I would do that I'm like 100 metres above the ground and unlike super cat Angus I do not have the sense to land on my feet.
Probably my head.
5 seconds later
"So where are your olds?" Rosie shouted through the door.
"They went to some pathetico party at one of Mutti's friends houses."
Rosie said, "Your Mutti has friends?"
I said, "I know, it's a shock to me too."
4.00pm
Sinking in lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of mud
Did I mention there's lots of mud on this field?
Why am I here? Why am I here?
I said to Rosie, "Why am I here?"
She grabbed my hand and pulled me through some more... yep you guessed it, mud.
"Because you are a very good chum and if you don't I will be forced to eat your face."
Eat my what now?!
3 minutes later
We have arrived. Apparently.
From what I can tell it's exactly the same as where we were five minutes ago. There's a field. And mud. And a bit more field. And then some more mud. In the words of the recycle man; the possibilities are endless. Not.
And it's tres nippy noodles out here so I'm wearing zillions of layers to get me toasty warm.
Except I'm not toasty warm. I am vair vair cold.
5 minutes later
Sat around the crappest bonfire known to humanity.
It's like a couple of sticks and a teensy flame. The fire at the camping fiasco was better.
The rest of the Ace Gang have arrived and are shivering along with me. It's like a shivering fest if you know what I mean and I think you do.
Jas is sat snuggled up to Hunky opposite us. She actually looks quite warm. Tis just the selfisosity of her nature to be the only one not freezing their botty off. I bet she has her gigantibus knickers on as well. Typical.
2 seconds later
I wonder if Hunky knows about her knickers? Would she tell him stuff like that or consider it "inappropriate" or some other malarkey.
Although this is the same girl who got a love bite on her toe...
15 minutes later
Oh hell's bells Mark Big Gob has arrived with a load of blunder boys! Brillopads.
And I've just remembered, this is basically the same field where he tried to molest me that time! Ew ew ew!
But Dave gave him a duffing up afterwards like a proper boyfriend should.
1 second later
No wait Dave wasn't my boyfriend when the attack of the Gob happened.
And yet he still duffed him up for me.
Awww.
5.15pm
Panting like a loon on loon tablets.
Rosie wanted to show us her Viking Fire Dance so she pulled Jas away from Tom and we went away down the field. Jassy had a spazzy and went ballisiticisimus. It was vair vair funny to watch.
Anyway after Jas had rearranged her fringe (she is so vain) Rosie started teaching us the dance.
I have to admit that it is actually quite tip top on the hilariosity scale and a vair good invention for the Viking One.
I even thought about telling Rosie this but then she made us practice it for half an hour straight without a break. Now that my friend is cruelty to the highest level.
Ellen looks like she is about to collapse. I think its lack of oxygen. Ahh well.
40 seconds later
We did one last rehearsal before going back to the fire.
It's to the tune of "match of the day" and has very nearly made me quite like footy. Very nearly. But not quite.
It goes –
Jab right arm to the left four times (this is how Viking's used to light fires by grinding stones together)
Jab left arm to the right four times
Push right arm forward 2 times (Viking's throwing stuff onto fire)
Push left arm forward 2 times
Push down with both hands 4 times (pushing the wood and crap down on the fire)
Wave arms to right (being the flames)
Wave arms to left
Wave arms to right again
Wave arms to left again
Prance round in a circle (Vikings chanting round the fire)
Throw horn's into the crowd
10 seconds later
Sat around the "fire" once again.
Jas is having a nervy b because Hunky has disappeared.
I said, "Maybe he has found a new species of stick insect."
She threw daggers at me. Charming, that's what I get for trying to help.
5 minutes later
Oh pantyhose! Tom has just returned with Rollo and Sven and Dec and Ed and... Dave!
They were all carrying wood (I think for the fire but you never know...) and looked rather like those shepardy folks coming to bring Sandra his gifts. Freaky bananas.
Jas ran up to Hunky (she has no pridiosity) and tried to hug him but he said, "Careful Po, I've got some pretty sharp twigs here."
Everyone laughed like loons on loon tablets and me and Rosie shouted, "OO-ER!"
So now Jas is ignorez-vousing everyone but Tom. But it was so worth it.
2 minutes later
Sat on a log. In a field. In a puddle of mud. Freezing my nungas off.
The fire is actually a bonfire now with all the wood the lads brought but it is still vair vair chilly out here. And its tres darky as well. Actually it has been for a while. Where does the sun keep buggering off to these days?
2 seconds later
Rosie has just brought out six pairs of horns from her coat. I thought it looked a bit hugmongus...
She threw them to us all and said, "Come on Viking pallies! Time to warm out nungas and show everyone the Viking Fire Dance!!"
We all groaned.
Mabs said, "Sorry Rosie I'm stuck to the ground."
"Well I shall just have to come over there and un-stick you then!" Rosie said wiggling her eyebrows.
Mabs shot up as quick as a quick thing.
5 minutes later
Wooooo! We are awesomeness personified!
Everyone was clapping along! Even the blunder boys! And at the end when we through our horns off mine accidentally/on purpose landed near Dave.
Oh well, guess I'll just have to go get it back...
10 seconds later
"Here you go," Dave laughed handing me back my horns, (oo-er).
Hmm he seems happy. Maybe he's forgotten about the other night when I may have slagged off his caring Emma. Or maybe it's because of the sheer amazingness of the Viking Fire Dance. In fact, we are all now rulers of the flame.
2 seconds later
"Thanks," I said sitting down next to him. "You having a good time?"
Dave nodded, "Yeah it's a good laugh."
Hmmm yes you are a good laugh Mr.
Dave has a funny look on his face. I think he's... thinking. Gott in himmel.
"What's up?" I asked.
"Well a lot of people keep saying that to me."
"What?" I said.
"A good laugh. They keep calling me Dave the Laugh."
"Really?" I said putting on my best shocked impression. I think I may look like a goldfish.
"Do you mind?"
He shook his head and grinned, "Na it's kinda like a cool nickname. Plus, let's face it, I am the life and soul of a party."
I raised my eyebrows, "Sure, you've really got this place rocking."
Dave laughed, "All in good time." He winked.
"So what about you, do you have any nicknames? Anything I should call you?" Dave asked.
Hmm Sex Kitty... Kittykat.
"Nope."
Dave rubbed his chin in what he probably thought was a wise way. It wasn't.
"Well we'll have to do something about that." He said and I smiled a proper full-on nostril-flaring smile. Perfect. Not.
½ hour later
Everyone is munching on hot dogs that some kind old folk brought. They are groovy gravy it has to be said. Sven decided to put a bucket load of ketchup on his. Ew.
3 minutes later
Some of the oldies are lighting fireworks for us all to watch. The blunder boys are off playing with matches (as you do) and the Ace Gang are all snuggled up to their boyfriends. Which leaves me and Dave as two spare whatsits at this bonfire fandango.
I keep glancing at Dave and I think he's looking at me too but I can't be sure because every time I look at him he turns away vair vair speedily.
A few head dodgings later
Dave whispered, "Are you cold?"
Of course I'm cold! Everyone is cold here in this tres nippy noodles weather. Well everyone except the Ace Gang who have someone to keep them warm...
Oh.
2 seconds later
"Yusnug."
What?! What in Sandra's undergarments is yusnug?!!!
Dave laughed and scooted over slightly. "I'll take that as a yes." He grinned and I smiled at him remembering to keep my nose sucked in.
3 seconds later
Oh my giddy god Dave has his arm round me!
Everyone is probably looking agoged at me but I'm not going to check cos I'm too busy staring at Dave. He is marvy looking beyond belief and that is le fact.
And his arm feels vair vair luurrrrly around me.
I wonder if he will mind if I lean into him so we're cuddling properly.
2 seconds later
Preparing self to lean over.
1 second later
Leaning head over to rest on Dave's chest.
1 second later
Ow bloody ow!
Just as I bent my head over Dave's phone went off so he moved his arm to reach it and hit me in the head!!
Owwwwwwww!
3 seconds later
Dave asked, "Are you ok?"
I smiled and said. "Oh yeah everything is fi-ne."
The stutteryness is due to the fact that my eyes are full of tears. Thank Sandra it is dark so Dave can't see.
10 seconds later
Dave no longer has his arm around me.
He just put his phone back in his pocket and is looking rather miz. Maybe he's worried about my health?
1 second later
"Right I guess I'm off now." Dave said in a very un-laugh way for someone who has basically just been re-Christened a laugh.
I was about to ask why but Dave has already gone! He's just disappeared in the darky darkness!
5 seconds later
Update –
Sat on a log in a field of muddy hell
Freezing my nungas off
Dave the Laugh has once again ran away
This sucks.
This was my longest chappy so far! Are you proud?! I think you should be!
And sorry for holding off on the kiss etc. but it's getting there as you can probably tell! but i want to make it realistic so bear (sp?) with me please XD
See if you can guess why Dave buggered off rather speedily...
horn's out! ;)