The rebels at least had the decency not to put her in the same cell she'd been the first time she was held as a prisoner in the Capitol. Instead she was in her room from before the Quell, the plush accommodations she and Johanna had spent their last happy moments in. Katniss didn't care, though. She knew what she had done, and why she had done it. Even if no other soul in Panem understood. It was one of the few times Katniss had ever done and felt something with complete clarity since her hijacking. It didn't surprise her that it was violence, or that it was in protection of Johanna. Those were the only two motivations she felt with certainty, unless she was with Johanna herself. Then she could feel love, and the tiniest of flames of desire.

But that was all gone. She was a murderer now. An assassin. Nobody could love an assassin. She closed her eyes and reclined on the bed. It had become a habit of hers in the last four days to close out the world and remember only what she wanted to: the lilt of Prim's laughter and the feel of her hair, the sound of her father's singing voice, the sensation of her mother's calloused hands. She recalled the feel of an arrow between her fingers, the harsh, frank words of Gale and the calculated look in his eyes when he maneuvered a snare. Katniss brought to mind the little tint of red on Madge's cheeks when she spoke, and the warm honey of Cinna's eyes. The smell of home. The feel of the meadow. The stanzas of "The Hanging Tree."

And she remembered Johanna. The twinkle in her beautiful brown eyes, the wisps of scarlet in her black locks, the sporadic freckles along her skin, the cackle in her laugh when she was being a tease, the way her throat bobbed when she swallowed, the breathless noises she made when receiving pleasure, the grunts of force when she was giving it. The smell of her, the taste of her, everything she was.

You are mine. And I am yours. Anything else is unthinkable.

These would be the memories she'd keep with her when they brought her down for execution. Haymitch explained there was a trial, as Commander Paylor - now President Paylor - insisted they not start the new country with the execution of a young girl without due process. But Katniss knew the chances of being pardoned were slim. She, of her own accord, drew back her arrow and killed President Coin just after Johanna killed Snow.

There was a lot of commotion outside her door, and Katniss heard the cracking of bone and sat straight up. Her body prepared itself for a fight, though she was in no condition to do so. The shower helped shed the peeling skin, but her strength had not yet returned. The door flew open and Katniss readied herself, but Johanna slammed the door behind her, shaking out her right hand. "Fucker. Wish I had that serum, I'd knock that little shit into next week."

Katniss felt happiness swell up inside her chest. How welcome it was from the irrational anger that Johanna used to inspire. "Johanna," she breathed.

But Johanna's jaw was set and her brown, bloodshot eyes were aflame. "Why?" she demanded. Her right arm folded over her left arm, already positioned across her chest in the sling.

Katniss stared at the carpet, deflating. "For you." It was the most honest answer she could give, but the one that would bring up the most questions. Johanna stared back at her incredulously.

"For me? Are you really that brainless?" Johanna stepped closer. "Why would you kill her? Do you have any idea what you've done? The trust that has to be rebuilt between the government and the people? For fuck's sake, Katniss. You could have started another rebellion!"

Katniss lifted her gray eyes from the carpet to examine Johanna's appearance. The whites of her eyes were spotted red from lack of sleep, and just a thin layer of makeup prevented the dark bags under her eyes from showing. She was dressed casually, but her shirt was wrinkled, like she'd been wearing it for days. Katniss squinted her eyes. "You're upset because I killed Coin. Because you really believed in her? Or because you were attached to her?"

Johanna gaped at her. "What?"

"The relationship you two had. She was not your mother, Jo."

Johanna scoffed. "You think I don't know that? My mother could barely lift herself out of bed, never mind run a district." Johanna's deep eyes narrowed dangerously. "You think I'm upset because Coin is dead."

"Well, yeah. I knew you would be. But I also knew you didn't have it in you to do it yourself." Johanna's eyes widened. "I know you, Johanna. You saw what I saw. That everything was going to stay the same. But you had something I didn't have: hope. Hope that Coin would be different."

"She was different," Johanna countered, but her voice was as weak as her argument.

Katniss shook her head. "That's what you want to think. But she wasn't. Everything she did for you was to manipulate you into supporting her. And... I think she might have dropped those bombs to kill me."

Johanna's jaw slipped open. Katniss watched her blink a few times. "To kill you? She didn't even know we were there."

Katniss rolled her eyes. "You think her letting our medics in was a coincidence? She knew Prim would be there. And if we saw Prim, you'd never have been able to stop me from going to her. And the parachutes would've killed us both. Maybe all three of us." Katniss sighed and tucked her hair behind her ear. "You reloaded your gun."

"So you didn't think I could do it, but you saw me about to do it? And decided you wanted to carry out your plan alone?" Johanna's eyes flashed with pain and pity. "Katniss, that doesn't make any sense."

"I'm not crazy! I did it to protect you! They're going to execute me, Johanna. I couldn't let you do it to yourself. The guilt you'd have on your conscience because of how you felt about Coin, you don't need anymore of that. And if they had executed you, I would have died alongside you."

"And what am I supposed to do?" The victor shot back, staring angrily up at her. "I have lost everyone I loved. Everyone. The only thing I have left in this world is you, and you're taking it from me!" Wetness pooled in Johanna's eyes. "Losing you will end me." Johanna dropped her gaze to the ground, blinking back tears and sniffing in a short breath. "When we thought you were dead in the Capitol, I planned to kill myself." Katniss opened her mouth but Johanna shot her a glare. "I'm not proud of that, but I knew John would be okay and I had... I had nothing left to live for. I volunteered in that reaping for you. Not for Prim. I did it because if I didn't, you would have volunteered for her. And even then, Katniss, the thought of losing you was too much for me to bear." Johanna swallowed thickly. "I am not sad that Coin is dead, Katniss. I have loved you my whole life. I don't know how to do anything else."

Katniss recalled Gale explaining how long Johanna had loved her back in the arena. It had been going on far longer than Katniss could have imagined. And if Prim had never been reaped, Katniss never would have known. She herself might have married Gale, and who knows what would've become of Johanna? Working in the mines to support her three siblings, toiling away, living with the thought she'd never have the person she loved. How lonely that future must have seemed.

And now the alternative was even worse. No mine job, but also no family. No love. Nothing but guilt and rage until the end of her days. Katniss realized she hadn't quite considered all the consequences of the assassination. But what else was new? She did what she could for the people she loved, small group as they were, without much thought. She wasn't as methodical as Johanna. Her eyes lifted from the ground and she drew closer to Johanna, placing her hands on her face. She tilted downward and pressed a soft kiss to Johanna's tear-stained lips.

"I'm sorry," Katniss whispered against Johanna's mouth, which opened to deepen their kiss. She felt Johanna's arm go up and over her shoulders, pulling their bodies flush. The tiny flames of desire in her stomach burned lowly, simmering inside her. It robbed the oxygen from her chest and cut off all thought as she was propelled backward against a wall. Johanna's tongue licked across her teeth and tongue, more desperately than she had in the shop basement. This was her Johanna, the one she could remember when she sorted through her memories. The memories of Johanna's ardent touch on her skin, of feeling the savage ferocity with which Johanna loved her. A passion Katniss knew she could reciprocate if only she could find it. If only she could keep kissing Johanna in search of it.

"No, you're not," Johanna accused in between kisses. "You're insufferable and impulsive." Johanna's lips left her mouth in favor of grazing her jaw and her neck, seeking to kiss and nip at every pulsing inch of her throat. "I hate that about you, you know."

"No, you don't," Katniss teased, tipping her head against the wall to allow Johanna more room to kiss her.

"No, I don't," Johanna replied. "You make me fucking crazy." Well, that feeling was certainly mutual, Katniss thought. Katniss could hardly catch her breath before Johanna returned to her mouth to seize her again in another kiss. This was as familiar as sunrise - the volatile and passionate way Johanna expressed her swinging emotions. Johanna leaned back and leveled her near black eyes at Katniss. "Run away with me," she whispered.

Katniss blinked a few times, coming down from a haze of pleasure. "Huh?"

"Run away with me, brainless. Let's get the fuck out of the Capitol. Live somewhere outside the districts. Just you and me." Katniss searched Johanna's desperate eyes and found them earnest. "I told you before, I want nothing from this world but you. Now there's nothing else but you."

"My sister," Katniss protested softly. "I can't just leave Prim."

Johanna cocked an eyebrow. "But you were willing to die in the arena."

"That was different. You'd be there for her. And Gale. All she has is my mother, Jo. And who knows how long her newfound awareness will last." A shadow crossed over her before she lifted her eyes to Johanna. "I want to be with you."

"But?" Johanna supplied, a sardonic smile on her face. "But your family comes first, right? I guess I'd feel the same, if I had anyone left to protect." Johanna choked out a laugh, still not moving from her close proximity to Katniss. "Except for that time I volunteered for Prim, and left my family for you. Far be it for you to do the same, huh?"

"That's not fair."

"None of this is fucking fair. What happens to Prim when you're executed, hm? I take care of her? Is that what you think?" Johanna gritted her teeth. "It's her fault my brother is dead," Johanna hissed. Katniss's eyes widened considerably. The venom in Johanna's voice was striking. "The world doesn't need to protect Prim. We were the heads of our households at her age."

"Your brother would think differently," Katniss pointed out, watching as Johanna stepped away from her, linking her fingers behind the back of her head. "If anyone can come close to how you feel about losing John, it's Prim. She loved him."

Johanna cackled and spun around away from her. "Is that meant to make me feel better? To compare your sister's fucking crush with how I feel about losing my only family? Get a grip, Katniss."

Katniss sighed. "I'm not saying it's comparable, I'm saying it's not fair to blame his death on Prim. She loved him, too. She never wanted him to die. None of us could've expected what happened." Slowly, Katniss moved toward Johanna's now turned back. A world without Prim seemed off, missing something important, something essential. She loved Johanna, more than she thought possible to love anyone, but Prim was just a young girl. If Johanna wanted to escape the Capitol, they'd have to take Prim with them.

"I wish I didn't love you," Johanna admitted in a toneless voice. "None of this would've happened if I didn't love you."

Katniss gulped and raised her hands to wipe at the few tears that had fallen onto her cheeks. Johanna was hurting, and when Johanna hurt, she hurt others. But Katniss knew she should be patient. "Well it's too late, brainless. I love you, too." Katniss stood directly behind Johanna's back, speaking into her black locks. "You are mine, and I am yours. Anything else is unthinkable." Johanna's body shuddered with a sigh and begrudgingly the shorter girl turned around, lifting up her heavy eyes to Katniss. "I will run away with you. I would go anywhere with you." Light slowly seeped into Johanna's eyes. "But." Brown eyes narrowed irritably, which Katniss found adorable. "We bring Prim with us. We can go anywhere you want, I don't care. You're the only two people in the world I'm certain I love, and I need you both."

Johanna's eyes dropped to the ground in thought. Katniss took Johanna's chin gently and lifted it up to watch the emotions play across her face. After much uncertainty, Johanna relented. "Fine. Only because John would never forgive me if I didn't look after Prim."

Katniss tipped downward to press a chaste kiss against Johanna's lips. Johanna, of course, seized the opportunity to deepen the kiss ever so slightly before pulling away. "So what's the plan on getting me out of here?"

Johanna scratched the back of her neck. "To be honest, I don't have a plan. Mostly it's 'kill anyone who tries to stop me.'" Katniss chuckled. "But I know the supply trains are leaving the Capitol every four hours. We could hop on one of those and just jump off when we liked the area."

The younger girl stared into Johanna's eyes. She wanted to believe this plan would work, but how often were the odds in their favor? Almost never. "How do we get out of the Training Center?"

Johanna shrugged. "Kill everyone?" she offered. Katniss raised an eyebrow and Johanna shrugged once more. "I don't have a good track record with having a plan," she reminded with a smile. "Last time I broke you out of the Training Center, things went a little... off plan."

"I remember." Johanna's eyes widened briefly in surprise. "Not all of it, and not well, but I remember. I can remember how I felt. Relieved, at first, to hear your voice. Then suddenly, anger. Like a fire over dry wood. Immediate." Katniss gulped. "I'm so sorry I did that to you."

Johanna nodded and her throat bobbed uneasily. The memories of Katniss wrapping her hands around her neck and smashing her face were still bright and fresh. Snow might be dead and gone, but the things he did would never leave Johanna's mind. For that, no execution would ever be enough. "Let's get out of here. Before the guard I clocked in the face wakes up."

Johanna linked her hand with Katniss's and pulled her out of the room. She gave a glance down at the female guard sprawled on the floor, then stepped over her unconscious body toward the main room. An Avox stood near the elevator, but Johanna seemed at ease with his presence. He might have been the same one from their train ride to the Quell, Katniss couldn't quite recall. Those memories were still too garbled to make any real sense.

The Avox called the elevator for them, waiting silently next to the doors, giving what Katniss thought to be an approving look at their joined hands. The bell dinged above their heads, but as they went to step on the platform, a familiar face appeared to greet them. Jackson smirked and stepped forward, allowing the doors to close behind her. "Soldier Everdeen, Soldier Mason," she greeted in an overly formal gesture. Katniss felt Johanna shrink beside her. "What a surprise, seeing you both here. And Katniss, out of her room."

The woman's pointed glare made Katniss shrink back as well. It wasn't just the motherly air, either. Jackson held an aura of authority that made others take notice. "Soldier Jackson," Katniss gulped.

Johanna tightened her grip on Katniss's hand. "You mean Madame Secretary." Katniss looked over to see Johanna's eyes penetrating Jackson. "Isn't that right?"

"I'm not here in a formal capacity," she explained, ignoring Johanna's venomous insinuation. "I'm here to stop you from doing something stupid." The stern woman looked between the two girls. "You wouldn't be planning on leaving, now would you? Surely neither of you would try something reckless, like breaking Katniss out of government custody."

Johanna stiffened and sniffed. "You were here the first time we did it." Jackson faltered, only slightly. "I'm not letting them execute her," she stated resolutely. Her brown eyes darkened. "And I won't let anyone stop me."

Jackson's jaw tensed tightly, and then a slow smirk crawled across her face. "Good thing no one is executing her." She appeared very smug and pleased with herself at the two girls' matching expressions of shock. "President Paylor has decided to pardon you, Everdeen. You're free to go."

"Why?" Johanna inquired, narrowing her eyes. "What's in it for her?"

Katniss frowned at the sadness and exasperation in Johanna's voice. She was accustomed, and resigned, to being bartered and sold. Jackson's expression softened just a tad. "Nothing. She, and the rest of her council, believe that the trauma Katniss suffered at the hands of the Capitol is to be considered punishment enough."

A wave of relief washed over Katniss. They could have a future. After all the ways the Capitol had robbed them of that concept, it was now before them. Johanna, Prim, maybe even her mother, they could all live somewhere safe. Try to begin again, if such a thing could be done. "Well isn't that kind of them," Johanna snarked.

"It is," Jackson returned, raising her eyebrow at Johanna. Katniss didn't know what has caused the rift between the two women, but Johanna's bitterness was so strong Katniss could almost taste it. "Assassination is treason, Mason, no matter what your politics are. Treason is punishable by death. But seeing as how Katniss not only suffered through a Hunger Games, but also heinous torture, Paylor decided to let her go. She felt we owed you both a debt."

"We?" Johanna snorted, her eyes rolling high in her head. "That didn't take long, did it? What'd they offer you, Jackson? Nice new digs in the Capitol? A big desk with a window, nice view of the smoldering ruins of where they killed my brother?"

The tense muscles in Jackson's neck trembled, wearing a similar look of betrayal and anger that Johanna had on her face. "I see you have an issue with my involvement in the new government. We can discuss that at another time, if you wish. But right now you need to come with me."

Johanna curled her lip. "Why?"

"Because I'm asking." Johanna stood firm and straightened her back, stubbornly refusing to move. "Mason, it's not a question." She eyed Katniss. "You may bring her if you want."

"Damn right. Like I trust anyone here enough to leave her alone." Katniss rubbed the side of Johanna's hand with her thumb. Jackson nodded to the attending Avox, who called the elevator. The doors opened immediately and all three women stepped inside. Johanna stood with one leg slightly in front of Katniss. The protective maneuver was not lost on Jackson. Katniss appreciated the gesture - that Johanna saw them as a team. If nothing else stood after the rebellion, at least they still did.

"Where are we going?" Jackson swiped a key card and pressed an unmarked button on the side of the elevator. Katniss raised her eyebrow and repeated, "Where are we going?"

Jackson firmed her lips in a line and shook her head. Katniss looked to Johanna, but she didn't seem as perturbed and uneasy as Katniss felt. In spite of Johanna's attitude, there was the undercurrent of trust between them that the raven-haired girl couldn't deny. The doors opened to an all-white floor, void of any people. On each side of the hallway were closed doors with small, rectangular windows at near-eye level. Jackson's boot heels clicked and echoed down the tiles as she escorted them to a door about two-thirds down the corridor.

Making an about-face, Jackson stared intently into Johanna's eyes. "Johanna." Katniss felt Johanna's fingers squeeze hers a bit tighter. That tone of voice, it sent Katniss spiraling back to being eleven years old, hearing a man tell her that her father was dead. Johanna knew that tone too. "We, um, have your brother's body."

Johanna's face paled several shades whiter. "You did what?"

"Your brother was admitted to the hospital when you were. He was," Jackson paused, "deceased upon arrival." Katniss felt the trembling of Johanna's hand and she drew closer to her. "I asked that they wait until you were in a better ...situation to have you come down here and, um, claim the body."

"Claim the body?" Johanna asked in a small, weak voice. The strength in Johanna's hand began to wane and Katniss let her fingers slip out from hers. "He's in there?"

Jackson nodded. "Yes. At my behest, they repaired his burned skin. Live skin cells are much easier to repair, like yours and Katniss's. They heal because they attach to the living cells you already have. But they did the best they could for him." Jackson unlocked the door with her swipe card and pushed the door open for Johanna. "Whatever you would like to do, just let me know. We will make all the arrangements."

Johanna brushed past the older woman and into the half-lit room. Katniss felt the air in the room tingle on her face and hands. It felt unnaturally clean, and just a few degrees colder than an unused room should be. But the real eye-catcher was the long cart in the center of the room with the white sheet draped over it. The visible curves of a body lay underneath it. Too small to be a man. Johanna stood next to the bed, staring down at the white fabric. Katniss watched her fingers glide along the edge of the sheet, smoothing it out. "I never got to mourn anyone," Johanna croaked. "Our fathers, they were nothing but dust. Nothing to bury but our memories. My mother -" Johanna's fingers balled into fists. "They took us away before I could bury her, too. She's in an unmarked grave somewhere in Twelve. Who knows if it even still stands now? And my sisters... My little sisters... I never got to say goodbye."

She placed her hand in the center of the bed, directly over where Katniss assumed John's chest would be. Johanna sniffed and continued. "He was always my rock. The single bravest person I've ever known. The only Mason truly worth the name." Johanna let out a sardonic laugh. "My father used to talk all the time about how our name was the one thing no one could take from us. He always said, 'Live up to your name. It is who you are when everything else is gone. It will be the only thing left of you to remain.'" Johanna reached up and pulled the sheet back, revealing John's paled and patchwork corpse. Katniss bit her lip to suppress her gasp. He looked better than she expected, but the thin lines of where they had sown his skin were still visible. He appeared much younger than Katniss remembered, but his maturity lay in his taciturn nature, something death robbed of him. "John was the only one worth carrying it on."

"Johanna, you don't -"

"My baby brother," Johanna whispered, running her fingers through his singed black hair. Johanna swallowed thickly and turned to Jackson. "My little soldier. I want him given a military burial." Katniss recalled when an old mayor had died in another district his burial was broadcast on live television. It wasn't mandatory viewing, but Madge had made her watch it because Mayor Undersee was in attendance. It was a grand gesture - Peacekeepers in the formal regalia shooting off their guns, a lone trumpet player crooning an old, somber tune - something Katniss had never seen done for anyone else.

Jackson nodded. "I'll let President Paylor know. We'll arrange it immediately. Do you want it to be in Twelve, or here?"

"How would they have done it in Thirteen?" Johanna inquired suddenly, her eyes never leaving John's face.

"No pomp and circumstance. Not like they do for Head Peacekeepers or mayors, or any of the former Capitol people. We incinerate the bodies and compensate the families. Reassign compartments, if necessary." Jackson's eyes dropped to the ground. "Usually the ashes are given to the family, but during the pox, they - they made us get rid of them to prevent any lingering infection from spreading."

Johanna sighed. "I don't know what he would've wanted. To go out like a soldier, yes, but he loved Thirteen."

"The burial is in his honor, Johanna, but the method is for you." Johanna looked up at Jackson sharply. "Whatever will help you best to grieve is what we'll do. Either way, John's memory will be honored and remembered."

Johanna firmed her mouth and covered John's face again with the sheet. She turned to Jackson and rolled her shoulders back. She remembered the conversation she and John had back when the future was still possible, and he'd wanted to return to 13 to continue training. District 12 was their home, but sometimes the heart lies elsewhere. "Do what they would've done in Thirteen. Cremate him and I'll bring him back home to Twelve."

The older woman gave her a curt nod. "Will do. Oh." Jackson stepped to the side to retrieve a small bag from a nearby counter. She stepped across the room and handed it to Johanna. "He had a few things on him. They took his gun and uniform, obviously. But anything personal that survived the fire, they put in here. I'm afraid it's not much."

Johanna opened the deep purple drawstring pouch and withdrew the dog tags from within it. Her brother's name, along with his military ID number, was etched on the cold metal. The heat had warped it slightly, but it was still visible. She clutched the chain in her hand. "Thank you," she said to Jackson. She turned to the body beneath the sheet, placing her palm again on his chest. The trembling victor leaned in close to her brother. "I killed him, kid. Just like I promised." Her hand reached out and grasped for Katniss, holding tightly to the other girl once she found purchase on her wrist.

They left the room and Jackson sighed as they began the walk back toward the elevators. "I turned down President Coin's offer," she revealed to Johanna's back. "Before she was killed, I told her I didn't want to be a part of the new government."

Johanna turned around and narrowed her deep brown eyes. "Why?"

Jackson tucked her hair behind her ear. "I wouldn't use you for anything, Johanna. I had my orders, and I fulfilled them. But I am more than a soldier, and you are more than the Mockingjay."

Johanna inhaled a long breath. Katniss recognized the look of intense thought on Johanna's face, and the minor softening of her cedar eyes. "What will you do now?"

"I'm helping Paylor get things together. There's a lot of military restructuring to do, and I'm one of the few surviving ranking members of the rebel army. And she trusts me." Jackson scratched the back of her neck and gave a small shrug. "Once the rebuilding begins, I'm free to go back to Thirteen." Her eyes lifted to Johanna's. "Or wherever I want, I suppose."

Johanna swallowed the saliva in her mouth and nodded in understanding. They stood in front of the elevators, an uneasy tension falling between them. "We're leaving as soon as I get John back," Johanna said suddenly. "For Twelve."

"Good," the woman replied. "I'm glad you get to go home. Both of you." Jackson reached behind the girls and swiped the card to call the elevator. "Everything will be ready by tomorrow morning. You'll have to take a train back, since nearly all the hovercrafts were destroyed. I'll see that you're on one of the first ones going east. Take care of yourselves."

The doors opened behind them and the girls stepped onto the metal platform. Jackson gave them a small wave as the clear doors closed and they were propelled upward. Katniss leaned in as Johanna rested her head against Katniss's cheek and shoulder. "Are you okay?"

Johanna sniffed. "No," she said in a whisper. She turned and placed a small kiss on Katniss's cheek. "But I will be. In time."

"Wakey wakey, Twelve!" Katniss blinked a few times to clear the sleep from her eyes, groaning at the early morning intrusion by the District 4 victor. Johanna stirred only a little at her side in the bed, in spite of Finnick's loud arrival. Finnick stood at the foot of their bed, her grin planted on her face. "Damn, I was sincerely hoping to find you both in a compromising position. But here you are, clothed and asleep." The attractive victor frowned. "Disappointing," she chided.

"Why's that?" Johanna mumbled from beside Katniss, letting out a loud yawn and stretching languidly. "Thought maybe you'd jump in?" she inquired salaciously.

Finnick purred and leapt onto the bed, shaking both of the waking girls. "Tempting, but no. I'm here to take you both to the train. Mine leaves later this afternoon, but y'all have to leave now."

Katniss shuffled over as Finnick settled between herself and Johanna, fitting her body snugly against them. "Just make yourself at home," she grumbled.

"Will do, Twelve," Finnick replied with a grin, winking at the brunette. Her coppery hair was in unkempt curls, still pretty short as it lay flat against their mattress. "Oh, Everdeen. Your mother told me to tell you to come to the first floor and say goodbye to her." Katniss narrowed her eyes. "They're building a new hospital in Four and your mother and sister volunteered to help." Finnick slid her hands beneath her head. "Not with the building, that'll be left to the strapping men and women of my robust district. But myself, my beloved, baby Everdeen and Mama Everdeen will be on the train."

"They're not coming home?" Katniss inquired, more to herself than to Finnick. Why wouldn't they have told her? The bed shifted as Johanna got up, facing away from them. Katniss stared at the back of Johanna's head uneasily. She could feel the anxiousness in Johanna from even this distance; they knew each other's bodies well enough by now. "I'll go down and talk to them, I guess."

"Make it quick, Everdeen. Your train leaves in two hours." Finnick lifted her butt in the air and propelled herself off the bed. "Once you're settled I'll meet you downstairs and we'll go to the station they're using for people transport. Later, lovers." The affable victor strutted out of their bedroom and closed the door behind her.

A heaviness settled in the bedroom. "You're going with them," Johanna stated miserably.

"I didn't know they were going to Four," Katniss revealed. "I just want to talk to them."

Johanna chuckled. "It's Prim. Like you're going to let her go to a brand new district, with Finnick of all people." Johanna whirled around and leveled her gaze at Katniss. "I know you, Katniss. If Prim is a choice, you'll always choose her."

"Right. That's why I volunteered myself into the Hunger Games for you," Katniss shot back. "That isn't fair and you know it. I just want to know what's going on. I never said I was going with them."

"But you will," Johanna protested. "You don't trust your mother, you've never liked Finnick, and you still think Prim needs big sis watching over her." Johanna bit her lower lip and dropped her gaze to the floor. "I'll go back to Twelve alone. Just go."

Katniss strode around the bed and used her minor height advantage to glare down at Johanna. "Why do you do this? Act completely unreasonable when we both know if Prim were John or one of your sisters, you'd do the same?"

"Would I?" Johanna's lips twisted into a wry smile. "We'll never know, will we? Because my entire family is a pile of ashes. Meanwhile yours gets to gallivant to sunny new districts."

"So come with us, then," Katniss pressed. "Why not? You like Finnick, you even tolerate Annie."

Johanna scoffed. "Oh yeah, I'd love to be surrounded by everyone else who didn't have all they loved ripped from them. See everyone else with their happy families." Johanna shook her head. "Besides, I can't be around your sister right now." Katniss shot her a look and Johanna sighed. "I'm sorry, I just know I won't be able to do it."

Katniss sighed and tried to will the anger out of her voice. There was still an edge in her tone when she continued. "Please don't make me choose between you and my sister."

Johanna set her jaw angrily and turned away from Katniss's imploring eyes. "Why not? I'm a glutton for punishment, Katniss. I knew that the minute I fell for you. I knew I was in for a world of pain."

Katniss reached up and gently stroked her fingers through Johanna's unruly black hair. She brushed her thumb along Johanna's temple. "I don't want to hurt you," she said softly. She'd always been able to extinguish Johanna's anger, and she hoped that skill hadn't been scrubbed by the Capitol's hijacking.

"Could've fooled me," Johanna grumbled, dodging Katniss's stormy gray eyes for as long as possible. Katniss finally caught her gaze again and found Johanna's expression distant. "I was nine, you know, when I realized I loved you." Katniss furrowed her brow. "I'd seen you around the Seam, obviously. You and Prim. And sometimes in school, here and there, but I never really thought much about you, other than thinking you were pretty." Johanna sucked in a deep breath. "Then one day, my father and I were deep in the meadow. He was teaching me how to throw an axe, like he did sometimes on Sundays. I'd gotten lost after separating from him to chase some game and found you and your dad in the woods, near the lake." Johanna's eyelids fluttered closed. "He was singing to the mockingjays and you were at his side, listening. When he told you to try -"

"I did," Katniss interrupted. "But they didn't sing back to me," she groused.

Johanna let out a short chuckle. "No. And you were so sad, and all I could think was how mad it made me that such a pretty girl could be so sad. I wanted to kill all the mockingjays for daring to make you cry." Johanna ducked her face embarrassedly. "And then much later on, when you and I were hunting together, you sang to them again. That's when I knew. I knew what I had known at nine, that I never wanted anyone else. I also knew I stood no chance, not with Gale, or any of the other boys who longed for you." Johanna wet her lips. "It never stopped me though. I couldn't have stopped if I tried." Johanna stepped away from Katniss's touch and raked her fingers through her hair. "So you see, Kat, you've been hurting me my whole life, whether you meant to or not."

Katniss moved forward and nuzzled her nose against Johanna's, resting her arms over Johanna's shoulders. "I am going to go with Prim to Four." As Johanna tried to break from her, Katniss held to her tightly. "Then I'm going to come to Twelve to be with you." The flames in Johanna's eyes lowered slightly. "Maybe Prim will come with me, maybe not. But I love you, Jo. Maybe not as long as you've loved me, but just as much."

She leaned down and kissed Johanna soundly on her trembling mouth. Her lover's lips didn't respond for a few moments, but when they did, they were ferocious and unforgiving. Johanna's teeth bruised her lips as she wrapped her right arm around Katniss's back and held her tightly. The percolating desire in her stomach erupted into a hunger that swallowed her insides whole. Katniss let her hands fall down Johanna's shoulders to her chest, fisting her shirt with both hands. She tugged at Johanna's lips with her teeth and returned the passion with which Johanna kissed her. Finally, she felt the whole-body desire for the other girl consume her, and it made her light-headed. It almost made her regret deciding to see Prim safely to 4. They broke apart for much needed breath, though all Katniss wanted was to keep kissing Johanna. Take things further and explore the body she could remember in embarrassingly vivid detail. "You're all I have," Johanna panted against her skin. "Come back to me."

Katniss memory banged around inside her brain to back in 13, when Johanna was leaving for the Capitol. Through all her muddy feelings for Johanna in that moment, she wanted Johanna to be safe, and back with her, as soon as possible. She wanted the same thing now. Katniss leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on the crown of Johanna's head. "I will. I always do."

"How's Twelve, Twelve?"

Johanna rolled her eyes at the chipper voice on the other end of the line. Finnick had called every day since Johanna arrived in in her home district, alone save for her brother in the silver urn. Between Finnick's calls and Madge's visits, she was losing her patience with people babysitting her. "It's fine. Same as yesterday, Four."

Finnick chuckled on the other end of the line, punctuated by the cry of an unfamiliar bird in the background. "Your girl is still good, not that you asked," she accused. "She and the other Everdeens are in a village near the new hospital. We go for walks sometimes with Annie and help her with her memory drills. She's getting much better."

Johanna sighed. Katniss was so herself the last time they were together, Johanna almost forgot about the hijacking. She understood the girl would have flashbacks, and that it would take years to totally rebuild her. But they could do that, hopefully, together. "She still hate you?"

"Of course not. No one can actually hate me, Jo. It's not possible." Johanna heard rustling and the contented sigh of someone else through the phone. "Maybe resent me because I'm beautiful, but certainly not hate me," she bragged. There was another giggle in the room and Johanna rolled her eyes.

Johanna chewed the inside of her cheek. "Have you heard from Gale?"

"No, but I talked to Cress. She's in Two filming some of the efforts to rebuild the Nut, working on a long film about Panem. Gale's there, getting fitted for some fancy army job." Johanna exhaled, but her breath caught in her throat. She may never see Gale again. All those years of protecting one another, just to end up on opposite ends of the country. An old panic rose inside her, like she'd feel back when they first returned from the Capitol. Like she needed to see him to know he was alive. "He's doing really well, Jo. Be proud of the boy."

"Yeah," was her noncommittal response. Johanna eyed the silver urn on her mantle and felt her eyes grow hot. She tried not to dwell on all of her losses at once. Gale was not lost, not like John was. He was alive, living his life with his whole family. Her doctor would be proud, if Johanna ever returned her calls, to see that Johanna could find some hope somewhere. Her stomach made a loud growling noise and she placed her palm on it to soothe the organ. Other than Greasy Sae's probably paid visits to bring her soup, Johanna found she had no appetite and didn't eat. Her whole life felt on hold, and not just because she was waiting for Katniss. Johanna found, ironically enough, that she was bored. "What do you do all day?"

"Besides my wife?" Johanna heard a small squeak over the receiver and sighed. Annie Cresta didn't strike Johanna as particularly sexual, but then again, neither did Katniss. Sometimes you just need the right person to ignite you. Finnick certainly had that skill. "I've been in contact with President Paylor a bit, actually. As the greatest living victor," she boomed exaggeratedly, "it's fallen to me to help coordinate the memorials for the other victors, and the tributes from past Games. They're going to convert the old arenas into memorials, and then build a big one in the Training Center. Or, well, revamp the existing one on the main floor and include the victors from the Quell."

So everyone had a purpose now. Perhaps that's what nagged Johanna most of all. Not that her district was basically destroyed, or that her lover was away. Maybe not just the crippling loneliness her empty house brought upon her. Maybe she needed purpose. She was the girl on fire, but with nothing to burn for. Before she could say anything, Finnick's sincere tone cut through. "Do you want us to come out there for a bit?"

Johanna smiled into the phone. "No, that's okay. Stay home. I just need something to do. The rebuilding is all going fine here, but I'm going stir crazy. Cressida is filming, Cinna is designing in the Capitol, apparently Gale's in Two. Everyone I know has a role now. Everyone but me."

"I figured you'd want a break, Mockingjay," Finnick answered after a few beats. "You've been in that role long enough, don't you want to just be Johanna Mason?"

"I can't be. That girl is gone, Finn," Johanna lamented. "She was gone the second she was reaped."

Finnick hummed in thought. "You know, Cress was telling me how she wanted someone to help with the film. A grounding presence to help unite the districts that she's highlighting. Who better to unite the districts than the Mockingjay herself?"

"Yeah because I did such a bang up job last time," Johanna groused into the phone.

"If you haven't noticed, Snow is dead and they are picking representatives from each districts to vote on the new legislations and laws. There's literally an entirely new world in Panem now. So I'd say yeah, kid, you did okay."

Johanna hadn't noticed. She never picked up her phone or turned on the television to see any of the progress being made in Panem. Instead she sat in the dark, staring at her brother's urn on top of her mantle and waiting for Katniss to arrive. "I'll see, I guess."

"No pressure, Twelve. You deserve to live your life how you want. Your terms." The older victor exhaled. "But you might want something to do. Grief is a sickness, Jo. Don't give into it." Johanna made a small grunt of agreement and Finnick expelled a loud breath. "Someone like you, with all that attitude and purpose inside you? Don't waste it away. The future is a privilege. Live it."

A privilege denied to many thanks to me, she thought to herself. Including the boy whose ashes lay in the urn above her fireplace. "Thanks." Johanna felt the wave of depression begin creeping toward her. Alternating waves of depression and anxiousness plagued her waking hours, and Johanna found the only relief came in the form of the hyper-awareness serum. She reached into her bag next to the couch - where it had been for days - and withdrew a syringe from within a small case. "I'll talk to you later, Finn. Give Annie my best."

"Will do. I'll slip Katniss the tongue for you, too."

"Asshole."

"You love it."

Johanna hung up the phone and tied a blue rubber band around her left arm. She tugged it tightly with her teeth, flicking the crook of her elbow a few times. She's taken the serum from the hospital under the guise of using it to help with her arm. She did do the strength exercises the doctor prescribed, but mostly she used the wave of focus and pain anesthetic to escape reality for a while.

She injected the medicine into her veins, tossing the empty syringe onto the pile of all the other used needles. Johanna sprawled over the couch, letting the serum take effect. She flexed her left arm, picking up a nearby lamp to use as a weight. Repeatedly she lifted the lamp in the air and brought it back down, focusing on the balance and strength needed to do the task. The noise and smell of a car exhaust from outside briefly piqued her attention, but as the noise lessened, Johanna shrugged it off. None of her visitors came by car, so it was probably just a Peacekeeper on rounds, or maybe somebody for Haymitch.

A knock at the door nearly startled the lamp right out of her grip. She used her heightened senses to rescue it and place the fixture back on the table. Warily she approached the door, dreading to have to engage Madge in another pointless conversation. But as she neared the door, she could smell something from outside that stopped her in her tracks. The smell of lavender and soap. Clean, and young. Not the smell of apples that Madge brought with her, or the spicy smell of Greasy Sae. But still, the scent was familiar.

Her entire body trembled as she grasped the door handle and flung it open. Jackson stood on the other side, clad as informally as Johanna had ever seen her. She wore a pair of loose-fitting cargo pants, a thick, maroon sweater wrapped around her torso, and her hair was tucked into a scarf. A car sat behind her on the road, idling as a man retrieved a bag from the trunk.

"Moving in?" Johanna asked, cocking her eyebrow. Her eyes darted all around Jackson's features, taking in tiny details she'd never noticed before. The dilation of Jackson's pupils as she tried to focus on something closer to her, her far-sightedness making it difficult. The irregularity of her heartbeat. The slight dip between her nose above her lips. The faint whiff of sugar on her breath.

Jackson narrowed her eyes. "Are you doped up?" Her gaze fell to Johanna's left arm hanging at her side, with the tourniquet still wrapped around her bicep. "Johanna," she admonished.

"It's medicine so I can exercise my arm, Jackson. Calm down." Johanna rolled her eyes and untied the tourniquet, tossing it aside. The lingering smell of powder invaded her nostrils and her suspicion returned. "Why are you here? Who's in the car?"

Jackson bit the inside of her cheek. "Before you left, we were discussing what was to be done with President Snow's granddaughter. She's only seven, so it felt inappropriate to execute her for treason. As if she had a choice in what family she was born to."

"You didn't bring her here," Johanna hissed lowly. "I want nothing to do with any of Snow's spawn," she warned.

Jackson shook her head. "No, of course not. Turns out President Snow had been hiding her for weeks before he was executed, anticipating the rebel army, or at least preparing for it. We assumed she was alone in her room, seeing as how his own children pre-deceased him and she was the only Snow we knew of." Johanna's body began to shake without her knowledge or permission. Somehow she knew what was coming, though she couldn't believe it. "She began talking to us about the two little girls she played with when she was in hiding. We figured maybe they were unknown cousins, or Capitol children to which Snow offered protection in exchange for whatever. Perhaps the little girls were imaginary." Jackson swallowed. "We were wrong."

"Jo!" the boisterous voice called from behind Jackson. The two sets of pounding feet approached Johanna. She knew them before they even reached the porch. She knew those little feet anywhere. Her mind buzzed too fast to comprehend what was happening, until two little girls bounded around Jackson and nearly brought Johanna to the ground as they embraced her.

"Aurelia," Johanna breathed. "Celly." The faces of her sisters, which often stared back at her in dreams, were here. In the flesh. Their little arms hugging her tightly, their snot-nosed faces rubbing against her clothes. Johanna regretted having taken the serum now, as all her senses began exploding almost incomprehensibly. She cupped their faces in her hands and stared into their bright, ebullient hues. Then, her focus returned. Her eyes moved back to Jackson. "H-how?"

Jackson shrugged her shoulders. "You'll have to ask them. The granddaughter said they'd been in the room Snow told her to hide in since she got there. She knew they were your sisters because she's your biggest fan," Jackson remarked with a roll of her eyes. "Even her bangs have the crimson streak in them." Johanna scooped Aurelia in her arms and held the little girl close to her. "My theory is Snow was keeping them for collateral to use against you, but things fell apart too fast. Perhaps his spawn was too fond of her new playmates for him to take them away."

"Did Coin know about the granddaughter? About my sisters?"

Jackson shook her head. "I don't think so. We found her during a scope of the mansion that Paylor ordered. The room was deep within the mansion's catacombs. Normal bedrooms, of course, but still hidden away. There wasn't enough time for Coin to find them, I don't think. But honestly? I don't know. Maybe she did." Jackson looked around Johanna to Celadine, who was frolicking around the living room. "We had a doctor check them out. Everything seems normal. Unhurt, in relatively good spirits." Johanna put Aurelia on the ground and the tiny blonde scurried to her other sister. Jackson lifted her gaze to Johanna. "I didn't tell them about John," she confessed in a whisper. "I just told them I was a friend of yours and that I was bringing them home."

Johanna took a step to the side and turned halfway to face inside her home. It seemed unreal, like some cruel dream she'd soon awaken from, alone and miserable. Celadine shuffled toward them with an empty syringe in her hand. "Jo, what's this? Can we play with these?"

"JO! There's no food in the kitchen!" Aurelia shouted from the other room. "I'm hungry!"

The dazed, overwhelmed look in Johanna's eyes made Jackson smile sympathetically. She looked down to Celadine. "You can't play with those. The needles are dangerous, okay? Put it back and don't touch the others," she chided gently. She gazed up at Johanna, waiting a few beats before speaking again. "I've asked for some time away from the Capitol."

Johanna's wide eyes traveled back to Jackson. "You're staying?" she asked breathlessly, swiping at the tears on her cheeks. "Because honestly, I don't know if I can do this."

Jackson nodded. "I'll stay for as long as you need me."

"JO I'M HUNGRY!" Aurelia's petulant voice bellowed from the kitchen. Jackson smirked indulgently at Johanna's wince.

She turned around to take the two bags from the driver and brought them inside, closing the door behind her. Johanna stood, dumbfounded, as Jackson took a look around. "Geez, Johanna, it looks like a mausoleum in here."

"It was," she responded distantly. The noises of her sisters were a cacophony inside her head. She wondered if this was what Katniss felt like after her hijacking, all her memories jumbled and unable to fit anywhere. Her sisters were alive. They were home. They were unhurt. It seemed too good to be true, like something they would've implanted in her brain to hurt her.

"Well it isn't anymore." Jackson strode into the living room to begin cleaning up the syringes, while Johanna stood frozen in the center of the room, watching her sisters run around. With Jackson there, and her sisters alive, Johanna was still unable to process the thought of family. This was her family. Her real family, and the family she'd adopted via war. It was hard not to think about who was missing: her parents, John, even Gale, and especially Katniss. It didn't quite feel right, but it was a start.

"Where's John?" Celadine asked, appearing in front of Johanna, gazing up at her with wide, unblinking eyes. "And Primrose? And Katniss?"

Johanna bent down to be eye level with her sister, tucking her hair behind her ear. "We have a lot to talk about, Celly." Aurelia's loud whine from the kitchen made Johanna smile. "But first we need to go get some food before Aurey starts eating the furniture."

The future is a privilege, Johanna reminded herself as each of her sisters took her hands. They could discuss John's death, and maybe the war and the rebellion another time. For the moment, Johanna was content to let the one piece of happiness she'd felt in months flow through her and lift her spirits. In Katniss's absence, any real happiness was hard to come by. With her sisters alive, though, Johanna felt the tiniest peek of sunlight break in her chest and begin to warm away the cold, consuming heartache that had been lingering inside her. The only person capable of truly making her happy, and igniting the fire inside her heart, was still miles away. But there was a spark, and it was more than enough, for now.

Author's Note: I have nothing to say other than thanks for continuing to support this story and all my others. This story is nearing its end. One chapter more, maybe two. I appreciate y'all sticking around. :)

Thanks to Johannas-Motivational-Insults for her beta and her guidance.