Hey guys I know I said I'd update on fri but instead of 3 short chapters I've changed it to 2 longer ones XD so theres this one then the one on xmas day which is the last of this story!! woop! or maybe an un-woop I'm not sure :P

thanks again guys to everyone who commented :)

enjoy...

horn's out! ;)

"Marsupial Man to the Rescue"

Mabs asked, "Gee what's going on with you and Robbie? You just said you and Dave were together."

"We are! Nothing's going on with me and Robbie! We're just friends!!"

She raised her eyebrows. They all did. I bet Rosie and Jas are as well but I refuse to look.

"It's the truth."

They don't believe me.

No one is talking to me

I have no girl-type mates anymore.

Dave looked at me then away again then said, "Gee, why did your Mutti say it's great to see me again?"

"Georgia, why didn't you tell me it was Robbie that dumped you to go to New Zealand?"

Oh gott in himmel you've got to be kidding?!

"You remembered?" I said quietly and Dave nodded enthusiastically.

"I guess I must have seen you round at Tom's house when I was there. You know, when you and Robbie were going out."

I nodded until my head was about to fall off. That explanation will do me just fine.

"Did we ever talk?" He asked.

Crap. To lie or not to lie?! Not to I think. Honesty is the best policy as the Queen says. Or at least I think she does.

"No." Oops.

Wednesday December 7th

8.30pm

Walking to Stalag 14 all on my owney own as usual since Jas (and the rest of the Ace Gang for that matter) have dumped me.

You would think they would show some consideration for moi since we have been Bessie mates for Sandra knows how long but nooooo. They are so selfish.

They've avoided me all week. At pretty much the same time that I've been avoiding Wet Lindsey. I'm pretty sure she'd pummel me if I stood still long enough.

In fact if it wasn't for Dave and his laughs after school I don't think I'd bother going to Stalag 14. It's quite literally a place of personal hell at the mo. And believe me that is not pleasant.

is over the moon though. She thinks that since I am now a newly formed billy-o that she is instantly my best friend. And that is so not the case.

I shall have to break it to her gently.

Bugger off springs to mind.

9.15 a.m

Qu'est-ce qu'il le point of assembly?

I mean other than for BG to show off to everyone that I have no mates and have to sit at the back on my bil.

And this torture is all for Slim to rave on about how proud she is of the Rom and Jule cast. I can practically see Jas's fringe blushing with pride. Slim said something about when the first date of the play is. I think she said the 14th of November.

Or was it December? That seems more likely.

20 minutes later

German

I never thought there would be a day when German was boring. But this past week even Herr Kamyer's stunts don't seem amusant when there's no one to laugh with.

I try explaining them to Dave after school but it's just not the same since he's not there when the action happens.

But on the bright side Jas and Rosie and everyone don't look like they're having fun either. That's something... right?

Lunch

A.k.a: prolonged time of torture where I have to now escape from not only a Wet Weed but also avoid the Ace Gang (who are not the Ace Gang without me) and my new tag along P. Green.

I would much rather have the titches and that is le fact.

3.30pm

Rehearsals

Thank Lord Sandra another day of misery is over.

Dave is here now with me back stage and we are playing "this is what my brother or sister would look like".

Dave makes quite a hot girl type folk. In a strictly non-lessie way of course.

He has put on a wig with blonde pigtails and I put a ton of blusher on him and four eye-liner dots for freckles on each cheek. Hahahahaaaaa.

Yes I fell about laughing when it was done.

And then Dave pouted so I had a laughing spaz to end all laughing spazzes.

30 seconds later

Dave said "Your turn!"

Merde.

10 minutes later

Stood in front of a mirror. With my eyes shut. I really don't want to look at the boy-type version of myself.

"Come on Gee you look good." But this was then followed by an explosion of laughter.

I turned to glare at Dave but then accidentally saw myself in the mirror.

20 seconds later

Oh in all things holey!

I have a really short wig on and it actually looks like I have short hair (my hair is underneath) but my fringe pokes through so it does look vair amusant.

I also have a badger stuck above my mouth. Ew. It's bushier than Vati's. Double ew.

Oh my giddy god I'm wearing lederhosen!!

But the straps aren't fastened. Yet.

10 seconds later

Yep, Dave has just put the straps over my shoulders and clicked them in place.

Brillopads.

I actually look scarily like a boy.

5 seconds later

"Dave!!" I shouted but he just pouted again and flicked his pigtails.

What larks.

30 minutes later

Walking home with Dave as per usual.

P. Green walked in while we were our... other selves. She didn't recognise us though and went up to Dave and said, "Do you know where Georgia is?"

I stood behind P Green and shook my head for billio. In fact I shook it so hard that my wig flew off. I scampered as quick as a quick thing to put it back on while Dave tried not to laugh.

He didn't succeed.

"She's... *splutter* ... not... *chuckle* ...here..."

I think P. Green was vair vair scared as she left soon after that. Although it did take her about an hour to get through the door with the size of her and everything.

1 minute later

It feels good to be me again. And that's girl-me not boy-me who is in fact not me at all. Well maybe a tad, but only if you squint really hard.

Dave is swinging my arm and I keep laughing like a loon. It's vair amusant. We have definitely developed a case of the giggles since rehearsals.

2 minutes later

Quite near my house now. Boo.

I still haven't let Dave come anywhere near the door since the Mutti revealing incident. And no that's not Mutti revealing her indecent-self to him (though I wouldn't put it past her) but it's because Mutti let it spill that she recognised Dave.

I managed to clear it up thought... I think.

Anyway so far I've managed to escape another fiasco with my amazing sneakiness. Which basically means I give Dave some pathetico excuse as to why he can't come in. Yesterday was "I need to feed my cat," which is clearly a lie as Angus can feed himself. But Dave doesn't know this. I hope.

He is getting rather suspicious though.

1 minute later

At my wall

Sat on the wall. With Dave next to me.

"You busy now?" Dave asked.

Oh merde he's trying to get in my house again!

"Err, well I have an appointment with... Doctor Clooney."

Dave raised his eyebrows at me, "Doctor Clooney?"

"Well erm, that's not his actual name but he looks like err..."

Wait if I say the doctor looks like George Clooney is that displaying a hint of red bottomosity?

1 second later

It's alright I didn't have to answer because Dave butted in and said, "Well speaking of appointments. I have one at the hospital tomorrow."

"Oh yeah?" I said calmly though I was secretly thanking BG and Lord Sandra for the change of topic.

I let Dave ramble on for a bit about his check-up about his progress and what-not. It wasn't that interesting so I didn't really pay attention until it sounded as though he was nearly finished.

"...so I could get it all back at some point."

I said, "That's great." Though I didn't have a clue what he was on about. Maybe I should have listened. Ahh well...

"What time is your appointment?" I asked.

"Half 3."

"What?! No you can't go!" I yelled.

Dave frowned, "Why not?"

I waved my arms around like the loon I am. "Because then I will be lonely as a clud at rehearsals."

"You'll have Jas and Ellen and everyone." Dave laughed. Yes I know I'm the devil I haven't told him they're not speaking to me. But only because then I would have to tell him why.

I shook my head, "They'll be on the stage."

Dave put his arm round me, "You'll be fine. Plus you know where that wig is now."

I tried not to laugh but couldn't help it. Dave did have a good point.

2 minutes later

Dave stood up off the wall, "Well I guess I'm off then."

I jumped up as well and nodded.

"You've got your appointment thing now right?" Why do I get the feeling I'm being interrogated?

I nodded so my mouth wouldn't let anything slip.

Dave sighed. I think he knows I'm lying.

He leaned in to kiss me. A number four like normal. Only this time it wasn't nearly as long as normal. Merde.

"S'laters then Georgia."

Oh no not the s'laters thing.

Thursday December 8th

1.00pm

At home.

Yes I know I told Dave I was going to Stalag 14 but there is no way I am being a lonely clud for the whole day with no Laugh at the end as a reward.

So I didn't go.

I pulled a sickly. Luckily Mutti was in a rush this morning (later as per usual) so she didn't ask too many questions, she just tutted a bit then walked out the door.

Brillopads!

A whole day to do tonnes of interesting stuff like...

Err.....

There must be something I can do!

Only boring people get bored.

2 minutes later

Am I boring?

No I'm not boring. That's just stupid.

Friday December 9th

9.00a.m

In bed

I think I had the most boring day of my life yesterday. Boring as billio.

So why am I taking today off as well?!

I guess it's cos seeing as I'm playing a sicky I might as well take full advantage.

And Mutti and Vati are out at "work" again which is a plus in anyone's books.

I'm all snuggled up in my bed with Cross-Eyed Gordy and Angus who, for once, are not savaging at my feet. Maybe they feel my pain. They are vair smart after all. So they know I now have no girl-type mates so are keeping me company.

Because let's face it, Gordy is basically a girl cat.

I think he still has makeup on that Libs put on him yesterday. It does take the focus off his dodgy eye though. But I like him being cross-eyed. It's different and interesting. Not boring. Without that he's just... just... Gordy. Pfft.

15 minutes later

Ow bloody ow! I just got dressed and kindly offered to take Gordy's makeup off for him when he basically tore my hand off!

That's the gratitude I get for trying to restore his masculinity!!

What did I say? Girl.

2 minutes later

Hungry.

I wonder what marvellous food snackies Mutti has bought from all those shopping trips she goes on every night.

On no wait, that's what a normal Mutti does.

Mine waits for food to go off and for social services to ring before she buys any decent food.

And they haven't rang yet by the way. Which is why there is no decent food.

Several hours of starvation later

Screw it I'm getting a takeaway. Mouldy cheerios can only satisfy me for so long.

Chinese or pizza? Indian or Fish & Chips?

Hmmm...

2 seconds later

Oh my giddy god Robbie is standing outside my house!

What in his wombat loving self is he doing here?

Thank Sandra I'm already dressed now I only have to make my hair and face not too scary bananas...

2 minutes later

Door bell rang.

Merde. I've only done one layer of foundation!

1 minute later

Running down the stairs. Pant pant pant.

10 seconds later

Opened the door.

"Hey Georgia."

"Oh, hi Robbie," I said putting on my oh-I-didn't-expect-to-see-you face.

Robbie held out his arms and handed me a box of chocolates. Wow.

He must have seen my confused face because he said, "To help you feel better."

Huh?

Oh right! I'm ill. Of course.

"Err thanks." I took the chocolates. At least this'll save me a few squids from ordering a take-away.

Robbie said, "Can I come in for a bit Georgia?"

What? Is this "can I come in for a bit of a snog" or just "can I come in"? I thought we were matey-mates?! Oh no please don't let my red bottom come back I've only just scared it off!

2 minutes later

Sat on the sofa with Robbie. I'm on the arm though (of the chair not of me) so no accidental snogs can happen. I hope.

"Listen, it seems I've caused you a lot of trouble."

I frowned, "What do you, err... what?"

"You didn't want Jas and your friends to know about you and Dave did you? And I let Tom know."

I gulped and Robbie continued, "When you mentioned you hadn't spoken to Jas in a while I asked Tom about it and he told me... everything."

Oh of course Radio Jas would have been transmitting all my supposed "red-bottomness" and "evil lies" to Hunky.

"I want to fix this." Robbie said. "I think maybe I should talk to Jas, or Tom if you prefer, and explain that you and Dave are... good together?" He said as a question.

I nodded.

Robbie smiled awkwardly, "He also said that Jas said you were... cheating on Dave with me."

WHATTTT?!

"I err, no! I haven't... I didn't... she's lying!"

Robbie laughed. "Georgia relax. I'm the one you're meant to have been cheating with. And I obviously know there's nothing going on."

Sandra, I am a twit of highest waters.

"I'll clear that up too though." Robbie assured me, "Everything will be fine."

I sighed and slid down to sit on the sofa properly.

"Thanks Robbie. But... err, why are you doing this for me?"

Robbie smiled at me. He has a nice smile. It doesn't make me go jelloid anymore, but it's still nice. "Because you're my friend and I care about you."

Uh-oh. "Care about me in... a matey kind of way right?"

Robbie laughed, "Yes, a 'matey-kind of way'."

Phew. This is actually nice. Me and Robbie talking that is. Plus if he says he's going to sort everything out then its super duper triple knobs nice!

2 minutes later

Door bell.

Robbie said, "I'll get it."

Wow, slavery boy. "Ok." I grinned and Robbie laughed as he went to get the door.

I opened the chocolates. Which one to eat first? Hmmm...

10 seconds later

I heard Robbie open the door and say "Oh, err hi."

Oh, err hi?! What does that mean?!

Scamper scamper to the door...

1 second later

Oh gott in himmel!

It's Dave! Dave at the door! With a box of chocolates! While I am here with Robbie and my own box of chocolate!

Merde merde merde!!

3 seconds later

Oh crap Dave's just turned and walked off! He does not look happy.

I ran to the door, "Dave come back!"

I started to go after him but Robbie pulled me back. "Let him cool off Georgia."

Cool off I'll let you cool off Mr.

I tugged for Robbie to let me go but he wouldn't.

"I have to get him back." I moaned.

9.00pm

Well if I wasn't ill before I definitely am now. I can't believe what Dave saw that must have looked vair bad.

I tried ringing him but as soon as he heard my voice he just hung up. Normally I would be ignorez-vousing him for that kind of behaviour but it seems he's beaten me to it.

And just when I thought things couldn't get any worse the Swiss Family Mad returned home. Luckily Robbie had just left but a dose of Libby after a miz moment with a Laugh is not a good remedy for anyone.

2 minutes later

I shall never get to sleep now.

1 minute later

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Saturday December 10th

10am

It's the weekend now so I can recover from being "sick". Maybe Vati will even give me some squids to spend to help me feel better.

Not that I would go into town by myself that is vair sad.

2 minutes later

Mutti just barged into my room. How rude.

But then again did I really expect her to knock? That would be too much like a good Mutti.

"Oh good you're awake Georgie, I need help, please can you fasten me up."

Excuse me?!

3 seconds later

"Please Georgia I'm late enough already," Mutti said.

Oh my bleating goat. She's wearing that leather outfit thingy!! Ewwww! No way can I let her go out the house like that!

I shook my head, "Sorry Mutti I think an outfit like that is where they get the phrase "crime to fashion" from."

Mutti sighed, "Do you always have to be so difficult?"

"I'm not being difficult. I'm being truthful."

Mutti did a bit more sighing combined with tutting then left the room saying, "I'll get your father to do it then."

Sure go run to the portly one.

11.00am

I thought I'd ring Dave again.

Which since yesterday afternoon really means me ringing Dave and him hanging up on me. Great.

2 minutes later

Ring ring.

"Hello?"

"Dave! It's Ge-"

He hung up. Shocker. But at least I got past "dave" this time. That's progress right?

1 minute later

Ringing again. Screw the glaciosity I need to speak to him.

He's not even picking up!

I think I've gone back a step in progress then.

4.00pm

It's four o'clock and it's dark as a darky thing outside. Where did all the day go? Ahh well, I guess I'll just have to catch up on my "sitting on the wall" another time.

Mutti hasn't returned from her... err... where was she going again? Well anyway she's not back yet. Not that I'm complaining.

Although it would be nice to have someone to distract Vati. He's been moaning on all day at me about random crap like "on the phone too long" and "don't use my bloody razor" and "sort you stupid cat out".

Which I think is rather harsh as Angus is ten times smarter than Vati. He learnt how to ride bare-back on the Prat Poodles in five minutes. Now that is the markings of a smart cat.

10 minutes later

Phone just rang so I lept on it as quick as a leaping thing; i.e vair vair quick.

"Hello house of horrors here, scream if you need me."

I heard chuckling down the phone. "Dave?" Please be Dave please be Dave!

"I'm sorry Dave's not here. But you might be able to find him outside."

What?!

5 seconds later

Looking outside.

No one's there! But it was Dave calling. Hmmm...

2 seconds later

Oh!! Dave's just come out of the phone box! He looks happy. Or is it sad? I can't tell from here.

Time to go down and see Dave I think!

They always come laughing back. Hahahahahahaha

3 minutes later

Dave is sat on the wall. I stood opposite him.

No one's spoken yet. Should I? Is he going to?

Dave spoke finally, thank baby Sandra.

"Look, I think I may have overreacted."

I gulped but didn't say anything. My mouth would just get me in trouble no doubt.

"Robbie came round." Dave explained, "Told me that you guys were just talking."

Wow, marsupial man to the rescue.

"I guess I just... you know, jumped to conclusions after finding out about you two before..." Dave trailed off.

"We're just mates." I said.

"There's something else," Dave said.

"Yeah?"

"Well I mean, he was in your house Georgia."

I frowned. Does he think I don't know that?

"You never let me near your house, never mind in it. I thought maybe it was because you just didn't like having people over or something. But then you let Robbie in. Why? Why him and not me?"

Oh crap crap and merde.

"It's just... well, my family are... they're embarrassing beyond the valley of sadness. My Vati is a portly stress-head with a badger on his face and my Mutti is an over-basooming loon with under-sized clothing and then there's my little devil-chid sister who-"

Dave held up a hand to stop me. "So you thought I wouldn't like you if I met your family?"

I nodded glumly. But at least it wasn't a lie. Just not the whole truth. In fact about 20% of the truth but hey ho pigs bum...

1 second later

Dave gave a small smile, "You're an idiot."

Huh? I would prefer "You're beautiful and stunning and amazing".

"But you and Robbie..."

"We're just mates." I said again, "I promise."

Dave smiled, "I think I believe you."

I grinned, "You are vair smart you know."

Dave pulled me over to sit on the wall with him. "Oh, I know."

Then he leaned in to kiss me. Lovely number four!

4 minutes later

Ok maybe a bit longer than a number four! Not that I'm complaining! This is vair vair good.

Oh my god oh my god oh my GIDDY GOD!

Number 5!! With Dave the Laugh!!!!!

Oh! My! ...

5 seconds later

Ow!!

I am now on the ground. Why am I on the ground? How did I get here?

Christ on Bike.

1 second later

Dave is leaning over the wall at me. Deja vu or what?

He's chuckling "What happened to you?"

"I... I think I... err, I'm not sure..."

Duh it's because he moved to number 5!! It was just normal to faint. Ish.

Dave laughed and jumped down to join me on the ground.

"Do you want to come out with me tomorrow?"

I nodded and just remembered to say, "Yus-nung."

"Good stuff. Do a bit of Christmas shopping yeah?"

"Yeah that sounds good. And err, maybe you can come back to mine for a bit after."

Dave raised his eyebrows, "Really?"

I nodded, "Yepp. Sure as a sure thing in sure land."

Dave grinned and moved closer to me.

This is so jelloid territory!

2 seconds later

Snogging Dave! Number 4 and a bit of number 5!

And this time I didn't faint or fall off or anything!

So just one more chapter left!! Do you guys want it straight away in the morning on thurs? You see I normally wake up around 7 cos im a lil kid at heart :P so I can post it then if you want or maybe around lunch? let me know in your reviews..

also keep on reviewing for this chappy because I'm going to mention every single one of you guys that review in the last chapter.. and a few special mentions to the regular reviews XD

hope to hear from you! and also I'll have some drawings for you as ANOTHER present :P !

horn's out! ;)