Thanks to my reviewers! I particularly enjoyed this chapter.
It was easy to write.
I like the pervy House. It's why he's in here more than the bitter, i-hate-the-world House.
My philosophy is that he just needs a good lay. We'll see how it goes.
"Exam room five."
House glared at the nurse, who stared back at him, completely unintimidated. "Doctor House?"
"Goody." He said as he snatched away the file from the girl who turned, calmly to the next resident. House was about to enter the room before he turned and yelled back at the nurse's back.
"Your scrubs make you look fat!" He yelled, darting into his room. He waited a few seconds then peeked out, happy to see a small flush on the back of the woman's neck. Smirking to himself he turned all the way into his room, opening the folder and reviewing the loopy handwriting.
"I'm doctor House." He said, not looking at the patient but at her file. Seventeen, female, complaining of leg pains. He could almost sympathize.
"Well Miss. . ."
House looked up, leaning on his cane. The girl sitting on the plastic bed in front of him wasn't particularly pretty, not ugly. Decent. Bright red hair, blue-green eyes and lots of freckles. She looked extremely athletic, with large hips and muscular legs. Field hockey or soccer, considering the season, possibly lacrosse.
"Nelson." Her mother said. House glanced to his right and saw the middle-aged fourty-something woman and wondered where his patient got her looks. The mother was beautiful, with the same hair just a few shades darker, but still fantastically rouge, and bright green eyes. "Her name is Therese Nelson."
"Mom." The girl whined. "Terry. Please."
House glanced from one to the other. As much as he would love to see the two get into a catfight he had a more important case to attend to.
"Right." He said, looking through the slim file. "Terry. What's your problem?" He asked, mouth to the side, leaning on his cane and staring hard at the girl.
"For about the past month my feet, ankles, and knees have been hurting really bad."
Real bad helped a real lot. "Play any sports?"
"Soccer training just started, but I've been doing cross country practices since summer started - it never hurt then." The girl shrugged. "It normally only hurts in the middle of the night thought, not when my muscles burn from a hard workout." She explained. "It's like there's fire in my joints. It's awful."
"Ever thought it might just be because you run on hard ground?" House asked, putting the file down and sitting on a stool.
"We've tried everything Doctor." The mother interrupted before Terry had a chance to open her mouth. "Ice packs, massage, hot baths. Nothing seems to be working."
"Family history of arthritis?"
"She's seventeen!" Mrs. Nelson exclaimed, confused.
"My grandpa." Terry butted in, glaring at her mother. "He played guitar though, for most of his life. That's why he had joint pain."
"I don't see how that could be related at all." The mother sighed.
"Great." House said brightly. He nodded at Terry. "Take off your shoes."
Terry frowned but did as she was asked, unlacing the converse all stars and then taking off her socks as well. House grimaced. There were enflamed red areas on the inner sides of her feet.
"That's just from the shoes." Terry explained. "It happens when you don't get a lot of support."
House swung his head towards the elder Mrs. Nelson.
"Can I have few minutes alone with your daughter?" He asked, almost nice. She was extremely pretty. The mother frowned and looked like she was about to complain but she was tired. She nodded silently and stood, her red pumps flashing as she exited. The door shut and House turned back to Terry.
"You got a dad at home?"
"Yes." Terry looked rather indifferent.
"Get that a lot?"
"You have no idea." The girl rolled her eyes, slipping her socks back on. "Is that what you needed to ask me?"
"One question of many." House said, watching the girl for any reaction. "When you're in pain do you take aspirin?"
"Who wouldn't?" Terry asked.
"Eat a lot of meat?"
"I need the protein. Muscle mass." She said, reaching for her shoes. "Did you need to send my mom out for dietary questions? She would have been more than happy to-"
"Drink a lot?" House interrupted, annoyed at the girls lip.
"Well yeah, I drink tons of water after soccer practice. I get dehydrated easily." She said.
"I meant alcohol." While dehydration was interesting, beer was far more important.
Terry momentarily stiffened her shoulders as she laced up her high tops. She glanced at House and then resumed tying a quick knot, her mouth in a tight line. "Need to know?"
House rolled his eyes. "Wouldn't have asked otherwise." He said, looking at her. Terry returned his gaze and, without a hint of hesitation, responded. "Yeah. With the girls." House was almost surprised at her honesty but then realized that she wanted to get out of here as much as he did.
"From soccer?"
"Started at the end of cross country season. Big party. That was the first time." She shrugged. "I'm not stupid about it. We sleep over at one of the girls houses. No driving. No one's been hurt, it's always just the girls, no boys allowed."
"Cool." House said, his tone sarcastic. By now he was thoroughly annoyed at the girl. "You have gout." He announced.
"What?"
"It's caused by a buildup of uric acid crystals in your joints." He said, swiveling on his chair and scribbling on his scrip pad. "Don't worry. It's treatable. I need a blood test to confirm, but . . ." He paused, looking at Terry. "You're a textbook case." He scribbled in the file, ordering the tests. "I'll give you pills to stop the attacks, but you'll need further medication to get rid of all those darn crystals Buddy has given you."
"Really?" Terry said, surprised. "That's it?" she asked, reaching for the paper House held out to her.
"A few conditions." House said, jerking the paper away. "One. Stop drinking. It messes with your acid. Two, no more aspirin."
"What about midol?"
"Don't interrupt. It's rude. Three, no midol." Terry rolled her eyes. "Four, eat your damn vegetables and lay off the red meant."
"Is that five or an extension of four?" Terry asked, annoyed. House whacked her ankle with his cane and Terry winced, shying away.
"Ouch! I have gout!"
"Six," House continued.
For the love of god. Terry rolled her eyes.
"Does your mom have a cell number?" Houses eyebrows raised and he pursed his lips, half-joking, half-serious.
"Why should I tell you?" Terry huffed. "You hit me."
House pushed his stool over to Terry, who crossed her arms, sulking. He leaned in towards her and Terry watched him through narrowed eyes.
"You give me the digits that can connect me to you mothers telephonic cellular device and I shan't breath a word of your soccer sleepovers." House said, raising an eyebrow. "Deal?"
"Isn't there some sort of doctor-patient privacy law?"
"I've been known to break it." House admitted.
It didn't take Terry long to answer.
"Deal."
Two more clinic hours later House finally made his way into his conference room, popping another pill on the elevator, He noticed a distinct dark smudge on his white board. He glanced at Cameron, who held out a piece of paper to him.
"She has gonorrhea." Cameron said as House glanced over the sheet.
"Told you."
"Lucky guess."
"I'm not lucky." House said, pushing the sheet back to Cameron who placed it in the file. "I'm just that good." He pointed to the whiteboard.
"Is that what you were trying to write here?"
"I'm right handed." She said, wiggling her sling-bound fingers. "Doesn't work out so well wrapped up."
"That's what she said." House muttered, taking the marker from her and writing the STD on the board.
"Really?" Cameron asked, raising an eyebrow. "That's how you respond?"
"What'd you expect?" He asked just as Chase came in the door.
"She has abscesses on the insides of her ovaries." Chase said. "I've given her to the nursing staff to drain the pus and put her on ceftriaxone antibodies to kill the infection."
"Have her take azithromycin as well."
Cameron frowned. "You think she has Chlamydia?" She asked. "The blood work doesn't show-"
"Early stages of Chlamydia can hide behind more established infections, such as late-stage gonorrhea." He explained, walking over to the coffee table. "I'm just being cautious."
"I have an EEG room for tomorrow at seven." Foreman announced, walking in. "And an CT scan scheduled for later today. It's not as traumatizing as your first trip in an MRI. Hopefully she won't start seizing-"
"Great!" House said, draining his coffee and placing it on the table. "I'm going home." He began to walk towards the door.
Cameron stopped him with a small exclamation. "You're not going to wait and look at the CT scans? Cuddy said we need to get this case figured out as soon as possible-"
"Poker night."
"It's Tuesday." Chase said. "Poker nights are Friday."
"Right!" House said. "It is Tuesday. Think that poker was my cover up for what I really do on Tuesday?"
"I didn't know you had a schedule." Foreman said, crossing his arms.
"Tuesday." House proclaimed, continuing on. "I go home play some pretty impromptu jazz on my old six track and get stoned off my ass." He turned to Cameron. "Wanna come?"
Cameron pursed her lips and Chase laughed a bit shaking his head.
"Caramia could be forcibly removed from this hospital, and by people you can't argue with." Foreman said, trying to appeal to House's love for her riddles. "Do you want her to go without finding out what's wrong with her?"
"Nooo." House said, opening up his conference room, pushing the door open his back as he limped out into the hallway. "But that's not going to stop me getting stoned."
"I will." Cuddy stood in front of him, arms crossed.
"It's not often I get reprimanded two times in one day." House said, trying to side step the dean. "Oh wait." Lisa stepped right in front of him, blocking his way. House tried it again, with the same results.
"Ever heard the one about idiots and expectations?" Cuddy asked.
"Can I go home, please? It's seven. Two hours past bedtime." House pleaded, sticking out his lower lip.
"You can leave at nine."
"Eight." House said, raising his eyebrows.
"Eight thirty."
"Seven thirty?"
"Eight." Cuddy relented, rolling her eyes. "And not a minute before. I'll have Jose stop you."
"Cool." House said, spinning and turning to his group. "Chase, try to get in touch with one of her relatives, you can even be in her room. Foreman, try to speed up that CT scan and reschedule her in for an EEG tomorrow afternoon. I'm not going to be coherent until one. Cameron, go over whatever infections might be linked by depression meds, std's and a lack of food getting into her system. Ten bucks says she's anorexic." He watched, pleased, as his employees left in a hurry. He turned back to Cuddy.
"And you say I'm not on top of things." He said, tilting his head to one side. "Although for you I'll make an exception."
"We already had this conversation today." Lisa said, turning away from House. "Eight."
"Dinner at nine?"
"No." Cuddy said, pulling open Wilson's door.
"Good idea. We'll skip that and go right to my place."
"Hell no." The door shut.
House looked into his blue blazer pocket, pulling out the number scribbled in loopy handwriting. "Maybe Candy will go instead." He muttered to himself, turning into his conference room. Candace Nelson. Maybe. She did have a hooker name.
Thanks for reading! Next chapter will be more fun. You'll get to see bodily fluids come out of places they shouldn't.
And you'll meet Alvaro.
And you'll get a bit of Huddy.
Oh dear. I've said to much.
Review?