And oh the wonder
We felt the lightning
And we waited on the thunder
Waited on the thunder
Castiel sat down in the lawn chair as Sam crouched over the fire ring, trying to light up the wood. He was sat snugly in the chair and shoved his hands into his pockets. "So what's for dinner?" He asked as he adjusted his glasses. The Novak was dressed in a pair of sweats and his track team hoodie. Dean looked over at Castiel and he smirked, reaching out for the other's hand as if it didn't mean something. Castiel clenched his jaw and looked over at Sam, trying to hide the blush that naturally sprung to his cheeks.
"Grilled cheese," he said as he reached over to Castiel and handed him a pie iron. Castiel nodded and he looked over at Dean, bumping his shoulder. "If I can ever figure out this fire it will be grilled cheese." Dean chuckled and he reached down from his chair to grab at the bread and the cheese.
"You were a boy scout Sammy," he said and he looked over at Castiel, looking him up and down as if study a never before seen creature. "Didn't they teach you how to make a fire in boy scouts?"
"Dean that was years ago, you think I remember that stuff?" Sam asked and Dean rolled his eyes.
"Whatever Sammy," he mumbled and scooted his chair to be a little closer to the other man. Castiel shifted to stand up and he slipped his hand from the other's.
"I'll do it," he stated and Castiel watched as Dean cocked a brow. "What? I'm an Eagle Scout." Dean's laugh echoes around everyone's ears and Castiel shook his head. "Laugh all you want, but I can tie up your hands in thirteen different ways and you won't be able to get out of them." His eyes grew wide as he realized what he had just said and he clenched his jaw, his face burning up. "I uh," Dean was blushing as well and Castiel looked to the fire ring. "Just get me some paper and kindling."
"Sure thing," Sammy said as he handed the other boy the lighter and then made his descent back into the camper for supplies. Castiel swallowed thickly because he could feel Dean's eyes on him.
"Are you kinky Cas?" He asked after a moment of silence. Castiel looked over at Dean, messing with the sticks to form a sort of teepee.
"No," Castiel mumbled with a blush and he looked away. "No I'm not kinky, or at least." He trailed off and shook his head. "We're not having this discussion Dean, it won't matter in a few weeks anyway."
"Why not?" Dean asked honestly and Castiel looked up at the other. Oh. Right, they never actually had this conversation, they just fucked and talked about how attractive the other was. That was the extent of their relationship. Castiel was relieved when Sam came back, and he ignored Dean's question, going back to lighting the fire. "Cas." Castiel just worked his fingers with the fire and after a few minutes finally got it going.
"Let's start dinner yeah?" He asked and Dean just glared up at him. He crossed his arms over his chest and narrowed his eyes.
"Why won't it matter in a few weeks?" He asked again, with more strength behind it and Castiel give up pretending that he couldn't hear Dean.
"Because I'm leaving!" He yelled out and Sam and Dean both looked up at him. "I start college in a few weeks, and its in California. We're just a fling, I figured it didn't matter." Castiel sighed and he looked to Dean, and God, he wished that he hadn't. He wished that he didn't look, because the man looked like he was just told that his dog died. "Dean." The older Winchester boy stood up and walked into the camper, slamming it shut. Castiel huffed and sat down back in the plastic chair, crossing his arms shut. "I don't know why he's pissed, not like this was going to go anywhere."
Sam however, was still looking over at Castiel with a blank expression. "My brother loves you," he said simply and Castiel's eyes grew wide, before his mind caught up with him and he shook his head.
"No he doesn't. He loves to have sex with me," he commented and Sam shook his head. The younger Winchester stood up, and a second later he sat down in the chair beside Castiel.
"I'm dead serious Cas," he said and looked at Castiel with one of the most serious expressions the blue eyed boy had ever seen. "He's never been with someone like you, and I'm not just saying that because you're a man. I'm saying it in the sense that he's never been with someone more than a week. Never talked about someone for more than two days. You're different, and he loves you." Castiel just stared at him. He didn't want to believe it. Dean Winchester couldn't love him, that was not how this arrangement was supposed to work. He was supposed to leave the other boy, to go to college and forget about him.
Castiel couldn't stop the churning of his stomach when Sam talked though, it seemed too real to him. It seemed like it was too important and awkward. "He doesn't," he argued again and Sam shook his head.
"He does. So here is what's going to happen," he said, standing up and stretching a little. "You're going to go into the camper. I'm going to stay out here and eat, maybe go for a swim, and I'll head over to the bar for some summer reading." Castiel just stared at Sam, not believing how assertive he was being. "And you're going to tell Dean how you feel, you're going to have a good time, and you're going to let him have you, and let him have you the right way."
"What do you mean by that?" Castiel asked and Sam sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.
"No fast fucking," he said simply and Castiel stood up. Sam shouldn't be talking about stuff like this, the kid was only what? Fourteen? That wasn't bad, but Castiel just wasn't comfortable with it quite yet. "Slow, sensual, emotional." Castiel clenched his jaw.
"Okay," Castiel said, holding his hand up. "Okay I will, just, lets never talk about this again. Okay?" Sam smirked and then walked away, grabbing some food on their little pullout table. Castiel sighed, adjusting his glasses, and then walked into the camper, stepping up into it and seeing Dean on the bed. He kicked off his shoes, noticing that the other was fiddling with something, and slipped his glasses off. "Dean." The older Winchester boy turned to Castiel, pouting over at him.
"What college?" He asked, and his voice sounded almost sad, but he covered it up with his gruff. Castiel smiled a little and crawled onto the bed. Dean shifted a little, sitting up and moving over to the small radio.
"Stanford," he said, scooting over to Dean. He watched as Green Eyes flipped the radio on, settling it on a Jazz station.
"That's where my brother wants to go," Dean said and turned to the other, Castiel was already right beside him. He smiled at him a little before leaning forward, pressing their lips together. "He wants to be a lawyer." Dean talked in between kisses, as if trying to signal Castiel that he would rather talk. Castiel breathed against Dean's lips and moved away.
"He'd make a good lawyer," he whispered and blinked his eyes over to look at Dean. Castiel licked his lips, listening to the small jazz clarinet in the background, getting wrapped up in how romantic it sounded. He took a big breath and kissed Dean again, pressing against the other as his hands moved to tug at his shirt.
"Cas," Dean mumbled before going to shove against him. "Cas, we need to," more short kisses and Castiel increased the roughness. He only knew rough. He was only good at fast and simple. Romanticism was never in his vocabulary. "We need to talk." Dean pushed Castiel away, panting slightly and holding onto his shoulders. "Please." The blue eyed man nodded and he sat back, away from Dean.
"What do we have to talk about? You said earlier today that this was just a fling, but now suddenly you get all pissed once you realize I'm going to college?" He said with a slight sneer. "Dean you didn't even want to kiss me when we started this."
"I know," Dean said quickly, holding up his hand. "I know, and I'm sorry. I was an idiot. Okay? You do mean something to me Cas. You uh," Dean trailed off and rubbed the back of his neck. "You mean a lot to me actually." Castiel watched Dean, watched how his cheeks flushed a little, how he scooted a little closer. He seemed so different. He didn't look like the strong and confident Dean that Castiel knew. The godly man looked delicate, and fragile. Castiel smiled a little, reaching out and tangling his fingers with Dean.
"I love you too Dean," he said calmly, as if he hadn't just taken their arrangement to a completely different level. Dean's gaze shot over to him, his hand gripping Castiel's roughly. Castiel shifted and leaned towards Dean. "Its okay if you don't say it. I really do understand." He smiled warmly as he saw the other boy relax. "I just want you to know that I love you. I do, and leaving you is going to be hell, but I have to do it."
"I know," he mumbled, his voice a little horse, as if he'd just swallowed a rock. "I know, I'm not going to tie you down." Castiel leaned forward to kiss Dean a little shyly, trying to show that he meant every word. "You need to have a life."
"Dean," Castiel breathed and reached to place his hand on the back of Dean's neck. "Shut up. Okay? Let's just have this moment together before Sam comes back." Dean opened his mouth as if to argue, before it closed again and he nodded. Castiel shivered slightly as he heard the clarinet play beautifully. It filled every inch of his body with a sense of love, and when Dean wrapped his arms around Castiel's waist the blue eyed man felt his breath catch. Castiel stared up at Dean as he placed him on his back. "I love you," and Castiel had never been of sure of something in his life.
Maybe it was just the effect of great sex, or maybe the fact that Dean was undoubtedly the most attractive man he had ever seen. Maybe all of this was pure infatuation, just lust and sex and nothing else. Those thoughts all went away when he felt Dean's lips though. They pressed against his delicately, and Castiel moved his hands to tangle them in the other's hair. Gentle Castiel, you have to be gentle. He trembled at the touch of Dean and pulled him close. "I love you," he whispered out again, just to make sure that Dean understood. That he knew how much that it meant to Castiel that this was a seal to their relationship, regardless of what was to happen between them in a few weeks.
Dean broke the kiss and he looked at Castiel with a small smile. "You too," he mumbled and leaned down to press against Castiel. Dean didn't physically say the words, he didn't say 'I love you', but he didn't have to either. The man knew what Dean was getting at, he knew that they had an equal amount of love and care invested in each other. Castiel grinned against Dean's lips, hands slipping under the other's sweatshirt.
He moaned softly, feeling Dean move away, and Castiel let him, he let him because he knew what the other was going to do. "You'll never guess what I brought," he said with a warm smile. Dean shuffled on the bed, leaning off of it and digging around in his bag. Castiel huffed after a moment, but smiled brightly when he looked at Dean's hand.
Lube. For once in their actual sexual life Dean had lube. "Oh you shouldn't have," Castiel teased and pulled Dean close to him, making the Winchester boy drop the bottle. 'But thank God. I was tired of using spit." Dean chuckled and picked up the bottle as Castiel moved to kiss at his neck, at his collarbone, his jaw, his ears, anything he could reach.
"Cas slow your roll," Dean said and chuckled a little from all of the rapid kisses. Castiel laughed as well and he kissed Dean again before settling back into the pillow. "I get it, we have lube and you're going to feel amazingly good for once."
Castiel nodded and he kissed at Dean again, his hands resting on the back of Dean's neck. "You gonna go all slow? Is that what this is going to be this time?" He asked and shifted a little as the other boy stripped Castiel of his pants. Castiel giggled a little and for once in his life he felt like a fucking woman. He felt like what his brother's used to call him when he was younger. 'Cassie.' "Meaningful?" The music definitely set the mood for this, it was calming, and romantic, and Castiel never thought that he would be so comfortable with it.
"Is that what you want?" Dean asked as he looked down at Castiel. Fuck, he looked so different like this. He looked so shy, and scared. Dean looked like he was scared of messing this all up, which is completely different from his usual confident self. Castiel nodded and ran his fingers through Dean's hair.
"Of course this is what I want," he said and pulled Dean down for a slow, sensual kiss. It was unlike any other that Castiel had ever had. It was delicate and emotional, and Castiel sort of never wanted it to end. "You're all that I want Dean." He ran his hand delicately over the other's stubbly cheek. "All of it." Dean nodded and he bit the inside of his mouth shyly as he looked at his lover.
"I'll take good care of you Cas," he said softly before leaning away, hiking Castiel's legs up. Dean leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to the middle of his chest, making the blue eyed boy nearly breathless. Castiel moaned a little, pressing himself back into the mattress. "Make you feel all nice and loved." His breath caught and he tangled his hands into Dean's hair.
"I love you," he breathed out softly and arched his back up as he felt Dean's hands wrap around Castiel's cock. "Oh fuck." Castiel smirked widely and looked down to see his lover's smirking face. The question was now if they were more than lovers? They had just declared their love for each other. Did that mean long distance? Did it mean that Dean would follow Castiel to California? Castiel wasn't sure, but when Dean pressed soft kisses to his neck he didn't out rightly care. "I love you."
He felt Dean smile and he chuckled a little bit again before having his breath catch. The sound of the lube bottle opening was almost unmistakable. Castiel felt goose bumps sprinkle across his skin and he shivered from the sound of the clarinet. "Damn baby," Dean breathed as he shifted to look down at Castiel. "Didn't expect you to get goose bumps from that." Castiel licked his lips and looked away shyly.
"This is the first time," he mumbled and Dean ran his fingers along the inside of the other's thigh. "That its actually meant something to me." Castiel looked up at Dean and he saw a soft smile form on his lips.
"Me too," he mumbled and slicked his fingers up, leaning down to press soft kisses against Castiel's stomach, making the Novak croon and moan out for the other. A few moments later and Castiel felt Dean's finger intruding, pressing up into him and bringing that mix of pain and pleasure along with it. He moaned softly, hands going to grasp at Dean's shoulders, fingers digging in.
"Fuck I'm in love with you," he breathed and smiled idiotically. Castiel arched his back up, still not believing that he was so comfortable with saying that he loved Dean. He never thought that he would actually love someone, to want something more with a person. Although, it still didn't change all the underlying talks that they still had to get to, but that could wait. A slight rub to his prostate and Castiel was long gone. He groaned and moved with Dean's finger, only wincing slightly when a second finger was added.
The night continued on like this, Castiel groaning, moaning along with Dean as they moved together. It wasn't a race like it normally was, it wasn't just trying to get off. If Castiel had to put it in the simplest of terms it would be love. As simple as that, because they were kissing, they were pressing against each other. Castiel was facing Dean, their eyes never left one another unless they were closed from the pure bliss. Every breath that was taken was shared, and Castiel's fingers didn't break skin or dig deep into Dean's back. Instead they smoothed across the skin, as if trying to remember the feel for the rest of his life. Dean would roll his hips, but he kept his pace slow, as if milking it for everything it was worth. Castiel could remember repeating over and over again what he believed to be Dean's name, mixed with several curses and variations of 'I love you.'
When the moment came, Castiel had never felt anything like it before. It flowed out naturally, and along with his lover. He smiled as their breaths collided, Dean's lips smashing against his, hands tangling softly in his hair. They broke for air a second later, Castiel panting softly and moving his hands up and down Dean's side.
"That was," Dean spoke softly, voice low and drunk with sex.
"The best," Castiel answered for Dean, pecking softly as he shuffled a little bit. "I mean it was just-"
"Unimaginable," Dean finished for the other and Castiel laughed, arching his back up into the other with a warm smile.
"Exactly," he breathed and nuzzled himself into the crook of Dean's neck. "Fuck it was amazing." Dean chuckled as well, shuffling to remove himself from Castiel's embrace, causing the other to whine low in his throat.
"I'm just getting a towel for our mess," he said and was back a second later, making Castiel smile softly.
When the mess was cleaned, Dean and Castiel found themselves tangled in one another. Castiel was lying halfly on top of Dean, the other half pressed in a small crook of the camper wall and the bed. His head was rested against the tone chest of the rocker, and his fingers were idling running up and down his pectoral. "You have a lot of freckles," he mumbled after a moment, fingers pressing into the small brown splotches all along his chest. "I mean, they're like everywhere."
"Yeah I know," Dean mumbled before the camper door swung open at the crack of thunder. Flashes of light illuminating Sam's drenched body.
"Never," he breathed and climbed into the camper. "Again will I volunteer to leave so you guys can screw. I'm soaked!" Sam groaned, not even bothering to look at his brother who was naked and tangled up with Castiel. The Novak blushed softly and Dean chuckled.
"I didn't tell you to, we were that loud anyway," Dean said and Castiel tucked his head into the crook of Dean's neck.
"I didn't need to know that," Sam trailed off as he walked into his small room, giving them the essence of privacy, even though they would be able to hear each other very easily. Dean pushed Castiel away slightly so that they could look at each other and smiled down at him.
"So back to my freckles," he whispered and Castiel rolled his eyes, pressing a soft kiss over one of his tattoos. He never talked about it before, but Dean had several tattoos. There was a pentagram surrounded by a sun on his chest. Wrapping letters along the curve of his hip, 'Hey Jude', which Dean once explained was for his mother who he didn't have any more in his life. There was a snake wrapping around his ankle, but that was all Castiel had seen, they were all so simple in the sense, but at the same time they were extremely important to Dean.
"Let's go to bed," Castiel mumbled and Dean nodded, settling a little bit more as the thunder cracked in the night sky.