I am tremendously sorry about the amount of time between my last chapter and this update. This will be the last but one chapter of this story. I will also update my House fic and currently I am writing a short fic about a great show I discovered: LIFE, airing on Friday nights on NBC. If you are interested in this show, please consider watching it because it could surely use some more viewers! Don't think that the lesser viewers a show gets, the less original and fun it is because LIFE is just amazing. I will probably post my fic about LIFE this evening or sometime tomorrow. Of course I would be enlighted if you took the time to read it :)
Unfortunately, this chapter hasn't been Beta-ed, and since my mother tongue isn't English or American there might be some misspelling. Feel free to comment me about those errors, because I will only learn from it! Also, I am still very fond of reviews so please don't back down and tell me what you think :)
This all said and done, please enjoy!
Chapter Sixteen: Ready for you
It felt like a miracle. No, a miracle wouldn't even subscribe this feeling. When his cold and heavy, but strong fingers squeezed hers a little, she felt life streaming into her arm towards her whole body, like a sparkle in a moment of desperateness. Life that needed so desperately to live. In that one little squeeze, she could feel his attempt to come back to her and his team, the pain and memories he was trapped in, the loneliness he felt. Inwardly Stella smiled. She knew him so well that she could predict every feeling of him with just one little squeeze. Unfortunately, the smile disappeared as quickly as it came. Further attempts to get the same result failed. The doctor checked Mac's status but didn't come up with something. Mac's condition hadn't changed since the moment they brought him here on the ICU. In the meantime, the team had gathered themselves around Mac. Flack put a hand on Stella's shoulder and loosened it a little. He whispered softly to her.
'Are you sure, Stel? Wasn't it just an imagination? It happens sometimes, you know that.' Stella didn't answer put stared apathetically to the hand she still held. She squeezed and squeezed, but finally stopped and let go.
'I know what I felt, Don. It was him. He's still there, I could feel it.' She directed her watery eyes to the one she was speaking to. The latter looked at her with compassion.
'Come, let's get you something to eat.' Flack spoke to the whole team now. 'And we all need sleep too. We can't be there for him with sleep following us every step. He would have to think of a different reprimand for every one of us.' Agreeing and tired smiles appeared on the faces of the overtired CSI's in the room.
'I'm in for a beer. I'm going to Sullivan's for a nightcap.' Danny looked hopeful into the direction of his best friend Donald. Last mentioned slowly nodded. He escorted Stella out of the room and towards the cars just next to the hospital. When he opened the car door for her, she shook her head slightly.
'I don't want to go home but stay close to him. I'm just going to walk a little around the block here.' Flack tried one last time. 'But you can't see him every minute, the doctors told us it's better if he's been left alone for a while.'
'I know, but I'm not going to leave him. It's okay, Don.' She touched his cheek with her soft hand. 'Thank you so much for everything you've done. I know I wouldn't have made it till now if you weren't here next to me.' Flack closed his eyes for a moment and laid his hand over hers. 'I'll always be there for you, Stel. Always.' He closed her in for a hug and kissed her hair softly. They pulled apart and held their hands for a little while longer till Stella let go and took a step back. 'Go and get your beer and some sleep. I'm counting on you tomorrow.' They all stepped in their cars, heading to their drinks or their beds.
'Promise me to eat something decent okay. I don't want to pick you up from the floor when we're back.' Stella nodded at Flack's comment. 'I promise.' With that, they drove away.
Sheldon brought Lindsay back to her apartment and made sure she was lying in her bed asleep. He headed to his own home next to wander into a sleep in a chair full of nightmares. He wasn't even able to get his clothes of or to reach his bedroom. It would be a long night. He laid Nick on the couch, he had fallen asleep when his head touched the rest.
Danny, Flack and Adam were all in for a beer and drove towards Sullivan's. They ordered a beer and sat down at their favorite table near the window. When they enjoyed their drinks for a moment, Danny began to speak.
'Do you really think Stella felt him?' he asked to none of the two in particular. Both men were quiet at first. 'I don't know.' That was all Don could manage to get out. Adam hadn't say much after the incident or on their way here. He stared blankly out of the window, into the pouring rain and the activity on the street. Danny tapped his shoulder once. 'Ad, are you okay?' Adam didn't move or react at first, but Danny saw him trying to prevent a tear falling down.
'When they brought me there, I was so worried, I was so afraid they would actually kill me. Even my father never made me that scared I was in that car heading to that bunker.' The other two men swallowed a lump.
'Because of the bag I couldn't see anything but some of the ground underneath me. I stared down the whole time, afraid that one piece of light would go away too. I heard them talking in the front seats but couldn't make out what the subject was. Probably how they were going to kill me, or how pleased their boss would be if they saw me. I thought I was passing out of fear when we finally stopped and they pulled me out of the car and towards that… room.' Adam took a sip of his beer and stared into his glass when he continued.
'But when they pulled that bag off of me and I saw Mac… His body looked so dead to me, but his eyes were alive and staring at me with such an intense force.. just like he was trying to give his last bit of strength to me. He must have felt he was dying and still, he thought about me, he was trying so desperately to calm me. The next moment I saw guilt coming up. If I just.. if I had been strong enough I could have freed myself and save him. But I was scared. I didn't move, I was only thinking about my own life. If I just..'
Danny laid a hand on Adam's shoulder. 'Adam, look at me.' The lab-tech looked up. 'Nothing was your fault, no one could do anything about all of this. We can't think we could save him. Only the thoughts will kill us all. We all feel guilty but we didn't kidnap him. It's not our fault. And you were the bravest of us all. You would have offered your own life for him. We can only thank you.' The speech made all three men quiet. Adam kept staring in Danny's eyes, trying to find something untrue, but he found none. He was telling the truth. 'Thanks.' Adam bowed his head again and turned his gaze towards his beer. The other two followed his action and continued to think their own thoughts.
Stella made only a quick round and returned towards the hospital as soon as she could. She couldn't stop thinking about that one squeeze. She was so certain he had really done it and she wanted so desperately for him to do it again.
With some sweet words she convinced the nurse of the night shift at the ICU that she could sit next to Mac. She took a chair and settled in, his hand safely into hers. Flack was right, she was as tired as hell. Even though she wanted to stay awake, she couldn't fight the sleep anymore. After a few attempts to open her eyes again, she slowly felt her head falling down on the soft cotton sheets next to her hand and his.
She must have been asleep for a while now, because she felt a hand on her shoulder. A nurse was probably trying to wake her up so she could check his vitals or to send her away. She slowly opened her tired eyes and looked up, predicting a nurse or doctor standing over her. When she found no one near her, she rose up, stretched her sore back from the uncomfortable position she had fallen asleep in, and looked around trying to find the person the hand belonged to. But she was alone in the ICU. No nurses, no doctors, nobody except for her and… Her eyes grew wide and she abruptly turned her head towards the one in the bed she was resting on, only to see two little green eyes looking directly at her.
'Mac?! Mac?! Maaaaac?!' She didn't hear anything but still saw the eyes looking at her. Was she dreaming this? She looked down at his hand and saw it trying to grab hers, but he couldn't reach it. She laid her hand in his while tears were rolling down her cheeks freely. She turned her head back and looked at him again. 'Mac, say something! Tell me I'm crazy! Say anything!' His eyes still looked at her, but no sound came out of his mouth. Only then she realized he wasn't even able to speak; he was intubated! She pushed the emergency button. Within seconds a nurse came running towards them.
'He's alive, he has his eyes open. Look!' The nurse looked from Mac to Stella to Mac again with open mouth and a little in shock. She quickly recovered and rushed back to get a doctor. She came back after 2 minutes with Dr. Lohe.
'Detective Bonasera, what's the matter?' Lohe approached her and looked towards his patient. 'He opened his eyes and laid his hand into mine.' She told him with a trembling voice. The doctor nodded and shone a light into Mac's eyes and did some other things Stella couldn't directly understand.
'I guess a miracle just happened. Detective Taylor is awake.' Stella brought her hands towards her mouth of disbelief and began crying again. Then they heard a rough sound. Mac was fighting against the tube shoved into his mouth. He was breathing on his own again. Carefully, dr. Lohe removed the tape that held the tube along with the tube itself. Mac tried to cough but failed, almost suffocating on his own saliva. Dr. Lohe checked Mac's vitals again, mostly out of amazement of the miracle happening in front of him.
'Detective Taylor, can you hear me? Don't move, just blink once when you can.' With shock, Stella, the doctor and the nurse witnessed a blink. 'Can you remembered what happened to you? Blink once for yes, twice for no.' One blink followed. 'You suffered great injuries from the kidnapping, you may be breathing on your own now, but you're still in critical condition. We have to make a scan of your brain again, you may still be bleeding into your brain. Do you understand?' Mac blinked once. 'Okay, I will leave you two alone then for a while. I'll check back later, okay?' With that, he left the room.
Stella had witnessed the whole situation with happiness as well as unbelief and fear. There is still a big chance he won't recover and he will not be the same again. She sat down on the bed and reached towards his hand again, with the other touching his face.
'Oh Mac, I missed you so much.' A soft groan escaped his lips, but he couldn't get out a sound. Instead, his eyes filled with pain and fear when he felt his throat was collapsing again.
'Calm down, Mac. Calm down. Look at me! Try to breath okay, slowly. Breath in, breath out. Breath in, breath out. Yeah that's it. You can do it.' Finally, Mac breath normally again and the fear left his eyes. The pain stayed, and would probably stay for a very long time, he presumed. He tried to look around and see where exactly he was lying, he recognized the ICU from the several times they had to go here when a victim had survived a murder attempt. The fear came back again when he noticed he couldn't remember the victims anymore, just the room. Stella noticed the shock and remembered the doctor saying he could have brain damage and possible memory loss too. Even if he did remember the whole kidnap, it wasn't certain he could remember anything from before that. It had only been a couple of days of course.
'The doctor told us you could have some memory loss. It's okay, it can come back you know.' The fear subsided a little but stayed on the background, while Mac tried to nod his head in understanding. 'I should call the others immediately, everyone has been so worried about you, Mac.' Stella looked away for a moment, hiding her tears. When she turned around, she saw something she had wished for all those days; Mac smiled a little. He opened his hand so she could lay hers in it. With his thumb he caressed over his soft skin and looked at her with intense force. He tried to say something but Stella wanted to prevent him for almost dying again. 'Don't Mac. It can't be worth your life what you have to say. It can wait till you're healed.' He still continued trying regardless of her words and blinked twice, hard. A groan came, but no words. 'Stop it Mac, stop it. I don't want to see you suffer.' But Mac forced himself again and again, breathing louder with each try. Finally, after several minutes, the words came out that were so worth all the tries.
'I…. lo… you.' Stella couldn't believe what she just heard. 'What? What did you say? Did you say.. I love you?' Mac eyes grew wide and he blinked once. Tears were rolling down Stella's cheeks for the uncountable time these couple of days, and she reached out to his face. Between her sobs she could manage to say the one thing she wanted to say since the moment she met him.
'I love you too, detective Mac Taylor. I've loved you since the moment I saw you for the first time, and I will never ever stop loving you. I love you.' With that, she bowed down slowly and brought her lips towards his'. She scared back when she felt the dryness of his lips and the rapid breaths she heard. But she saw him with the sparkles in his eyes, a smile on his face and he blinked once. With that, she pressed her lips against his' for the second time and gave him the most wonderful kiss he ever had in his life; the life he came back to.