Hello again! I haven't put this story on the back burner just having a bit of trouble not letting Hitomi fall into the 'put down woman role' that is so easy in pregnancy stories. It's easy because it's logical that her family wouldn't approve and the advisors would be against her. Remember Hitomi is younger in this than most other stories along the same lines. It has only been six months since she left Gaia, but I will try not to make this an episode of 'Sixteen and Pregnant' either…. Well not entirely.
I am working beyond full time and keeping up with my AU story Last Person On Earth, so please bear with me if I update slow for your liking. I did finish Lost and Found so that is one less thing to worry about. I will try to put out a new chapter every month at the least. Also think about my poor abused Beta reader… thanks to her tireless work the chapters are much easier to read and better quality. It may take a few more days to upload a chapter since I have to send it to Canada first. (Love you!)
Disclaimer- I don't own Escaflowne. If I did you'd have seen a sequel or reboot a long time ago.
Forgotten Words
Chapter 2- Destiny
The impact of Hitomi's hand making solid contact with the left side of my face snapped my head to the side so fast my neck ached. The hit itself hurt less than her complete rejection. I raise my hand to the stinging cheek, which is surely red, and not only from my embarrassment. It is true this result was a possible outcome from our actions, but somehow I thought she would tell me something as important as us having a child.
No one would ever claim that reckless action is new to me. Hitomi will have my child in about three months time, and yet she wants nothing to do with me. Though if she wants to place blame, technically I was the one seduced.
"Go home Van." She states defiantly with hands propped on her wider hips and feet planted.
Even though my pride is severely wounded getting angry at her will not accomplish anything. "Don't you think I at least have a right to know?"
Letting my hand drop away from my face I meet her eyes directly. I can see her determination falter slightly as she softens. "It's not like I planned this." She wraps one arm protectively over her rounded stomach. "I knew if I told you… I would have to go back before I was ready."
"Ready? At a time like this why wouldn't you want to come back?"
"Getting pregnant doesn't automatically make someone prepared to be a parent." She shakes her head. "There is another reason I didn't want to return yet."
Before I can ask what that reason is, a male's voice from the open door behind her calls out. "Hitomi? Who is it?"
With a worried glance over her shoulder she focuses on me with a new determination. "You need to go, but we do have to talk. Meet me at the shrine where you killed the dragon in an hour." Turning away from me she begins to shut the door without waiting for my response. There was no doubt I would be at the shrine waiting for her, but something more was going on here.
As I turn away my senses tell me that I am not alone. An off noise or the prickling of the fine hair on the back of my neck, frequently notify me if something is off. It doesn't take much. I spin back around to see a man I've never seen before studying me from the door. Hitomi stands right behind him with a concerned look on her face. I could not have placed this man in a crowd, but standing so close I can see the similarities not only in features but also in stance.
"Who are you?" Hitomi's father asks me directly.
"Dad, he is just a friend from school." Her lie fools no one. She tried to motion me to leave, but is far from discreet. "He was just going home."
"What do you want with my daughter?" Though not tall, the man carries himself with a confidence normally reserved for much larger and tougher men. I respect that.
"I am the father." I state openly, despite Hitomi's groan. Like usual, I open my mouth and say the opposite of what she wants me to. "I love Hitomi and have a right to know that she is pregnant with my child."
"You have no rights." He scoffs, taking a step towards me. If I were a normal teenage boy, I might feel fear at this point, but unfortunately for him very little about me is 'normal'. "What do you know of love? You are both still children."
It wouldn't be the first or last time I've been underestimated because of my age or size. I doubt anything I want to say at this point would be constructive, but there isn't a need as he continues when I don't speak.
"My fifteen year old daughter disappears for a month and comes back ruined. Her head filled with crazy stories about a world in the sky. A planet with dragons, beams of light, winged people and wars fought in giant robots." He is getting angry but then so am I. "The only logical excuse is drugs! So get away from my house and stay away from my family!"
He has advanced on me and now a diplomatic solution is the farthest thing from my mind. I want more than anything for this man to try and hurt me. I say 'try' since I have already envisioned the ways I can quickly put him down. But, I won't… this is Hitomi's father and he though misguided, he is trying to protect her. The phrase that has pissed me off the most is him calling her 'ruined'. Whether he means physically for her condition or mentally for believing something he cannot understand, both make my blood boil.
"How dare you." I glare at him from behind the shadow of my wild hair, knowing my look might have sent the message of my intentions. He staggers back a step as if he has seen something truly frightening. "Hitomi is the most honest, stubborn, compassionate, and amazing person I have ever met. Say what you want about me, but I will not have you doubt Hitomi."
I hear her quick footsteps seconds before I feel her grab onto my arm. "Van, stop. It's alright." I didn't even realize that my arm was tensed back prepared to swing at this man.
I start to take a deep breath to calm down, but all I need to do is look into her selfless eyes. I pull her into my arms, into the embrace that I wanted to start this all off with. "I'm okay now Hitomi." Breathing in her sweet sent I couldn't help but smile as she relaxes into my arms. "I've missed you."
Her slender hands came up and grip tightly onto the back of my shirt, pulling me closer just like when we said goodbye. The main difference is that this hug is the beginning of our journey and not the end. "I've missed you too Van."
I am so lost in the moment I forget all about Hitomi's father glaring at me until a new voice addresses our odd little group. "Will you three come inside before someone calls the police?" Hitomi brakes our hug only to start pulling me towards the woman standing in the doorway. Her mother smiles at me and adds "Again." with a pointed look at her husband.
"Again?" I asked, letting Hitomi direct me to the woman with the tightly pulled back brown hair and the laugh lines around her eyes.
"Yeah, Dad threw my friend Amano out of the house thinking he was my boyfriend." Despite her smile, Hitomi still looked worried. So her family wasn't her only concern it seems.
Trying to recall where I've heard that name before it took a moment to click. "Amano? The one that looks like Allen?"
"That's the one." She nodded, letting her father go into the house first.
"He wouldn't stand a chance." I snort letting her push me playfully. It feels really good to have my Hitomi back, even if there is a very distinct change growing under her skin.
"Mom this is Van Fanel, my boyfriend." She blushes, introducing me. From her body language it's not hard to tell that it is her mother she is closer to. The older woman looks at me only with kindness and understanding, maybe she believes the wild tales of a teenage adventure.
I bow slightly to the woman. "Oh, no formalities please." She laughs, pulling me into an awkward hug.
When she releases me, I can't help but whisper to Hitomi. "I see where you get your compassion." Chancing a glance at the man now pacing the front room I add. "Also where you've inherited your temper from."
She laughs, a light and wonderful sound. "Oh yes, temper, something our child will get from both sides."
A surge goes through me like an electric charge. She said 'our child'. Pride and joy fill me, along with a good amount of fear. Her father is right about one thing; we are far too young to be parents. It's not like I've had good experiences with my own family. My father died when I was three and two years later my mother disappeared looking for Folken. If anything I was raised by Balgus and what would the one eyed samurai say if he could see the position I'm in right now? Can't say he'd be proud. He'd call me reckless in the very least, even a disgrace. Lecture me about how I was supposed to 'protect' Hitomi and get her home… not 'ruin' her and pull her back away from her family.
Was I wrong in this? Was it selfish to make her mine? That last night that we spend together we wished to prove ourselves with actions not words. Our actions had major consequences and may have forced Hitomi down a path she was not ready to take. Have I ruined her life by prematurely creating a new one?
Lost in dark thoughts, I didn't even realize I was being addressed until Hitomi elbowed me in the ribs. I looked at her surprised as she motiones for me to sit.
"So, Van." Hitomi's mother sits down across from me with a patient smile. "Where are you from?"
"A small country called Fanelia." Not only did I not expect to be meeting her parents for a question and answer session, but also I am completely lost on how much I should tell them. I can only assume that stories of 'giant robots' refers to our Guymelifs, so they know something of the war. Though it seems it doesn't matter what I say, as Hitomi's father snorts and mumbles "Not a real place."
The woman shoots him a withering look before smiling at me again. "How did you first meet Hitomi?" She asks with open curiosity and I can tell her husband is even paying attention now. No doubt to find some fault in my character, or more proof that both Hitomi and I just have wild imaginations.
"She ran into me." I cast a sideways glance at Hitomi, not sure if I should launch into the full story about the hectic dragon slaying rite or just give small details. "Literally."
"It's not like you didn't just come out of nowhere." She played along, so the revised version it is.
"So of course that merits being slapped across the face and yelled at." I tease, despite the light playful tones something deeper is going on here. The tension is almost tangible.
"You skipped the whole part where I helped you out and you were a condescending jerk." Though she says it in a playful, almost loving way, I don't know how much of the act they really believe. Even leaving out all the details about dragon slaying, fire dodging, and near death moments; our 'how we met story' is difficult to make 'normal'.
"What no levitating ships and cat people?" Hitomi's father is really starting to get on my nerves. Couldn't she just let me hit him once? "Traveling the world with a rag tag group of princesses and knights."
Okay, I've had enough. People are well entitled to believe what they want but mocking is pushing things too far. "You forgot that I'm a King." I add honestly challenging the older man.
"I'll believe you when you can show me proof." All this attitude and condescension may just be a front for his worry over what has happened to Hitomi, but I am going to relish making this man eat his words.
Meeting his gaze directly I know the challenge has been set. "I have your word that if I can give you at least one example of completely undeniable proof then you will no longer think Hitomi is telling made up stories?."
"Solid proof and you have a deal." He nods to me, ignoring his wife's tsk of disapproval.
"Van, whatever you're thinking… don't." Hitomi warns, but it is too late. I'm all in. I stand back up taking a few steps into the center of the room. The ceiling isn't very high and the area could be bigger, but it will have to be enough. Grabbing the edge of my shirt I quickly slip it up and over my head, dropping it on my abandoned seat. The air in the room suddenly turned chill but it may also be from the three people staring directly at me.
The temperature of the room won't matter for long as I close my eyes, finding the heat I always carry deep down like a hidden flame. Calling it is like fanning a spark that grows quickly into an inferno. The burning is so intense it suddenly has to find a way out splitting the flesh on my back. The torn skin has no chance to bleed as my wings burst out filling the room with floating feathers. Having no room to stretch out, the tips press into the ceiling, as if searching for the sky.
The tension eases and I stand confidently with the added weight on my back. I don't really need to see their reaction, but I can't help glancing over. Hitomi's mother has the same look her daughter wore the first time she saw my wings, awe. Not being surprised by much anymore Hitomi is used to my draconian mark, but still smiles despite how mad she gets at me, the wings are beautiful to her. The reaction that makes this worthwhile is that the patriarch of this family looks like he is about to pass out.
Shock and fear play across his face, somehow it's the tough ones that have the hardest time excepting what they can't understand. "Is this enough proof for you?" I ask, though it might have a tinge of gloating.
"H-How? What are you?" He croaks out, as his wide eyes are trained on the white feathers.
"My mother was a Draconian; a decedent of the people of Atlantis." I don't really want to explain too many details, as it feels like betraying the promise I made as a child. When mother told me to never show my wings until the time is right. I kept them and the truth to myself for ten years. Hitomi was what changed everything for me. The least I can do is prove her stories have merit and that I am willing to make risks for her.
It seems my loyalty has shifted to Hitomi and not the memory of my family, and it has been that way for a while.
"Will your child also have wings?" Hitomi's mother asks, more out of curiosity than concern. Her husband's face gets paler if anything.
Hitomi and I lock gazes sharing a silent moment before I answer. "I believe so. It is genetic, but not common, so I don't know for sure."
"I believe you." Hitomi's father flinches away from a feather as it passes by his face. "Now, can you get rid of them?"
Having pity on the man I mentally pull in on the source. Unlike releasing the wings which creates an almost burning warmth, getting rid of them comes with a biting chill like a northern wind only I can feel. The feathers quickly begin to disappear and scatter, leaving me standing shirtless in front of the group.
Without saying anything my shirt is handed to me. Not that I've ever been shy, but something about being half naked around her parents makes me slightly uneasy. Grateful, I pull the fabric back over my head and sit down next to Hitomi again. This time, she leans into my side slightly as if saying thank you without words.
"Though I will need time to accept this, I will stand by my word. If my daughter was truly sent to another world it doesn't change the fact that you were both stupid." Regaining some of his fire the man tries to stare me down. "Nothing changes the fact that my teenage daughter should not be a mother."
"I accept that." I nod, understanding that this is a position no one wants to see their child in.
Hitomi spoke up for the first time. "Neither of us planned for this to happen, but we also thought we might be saying goodbye forever."
Feeling hope well up that we may be all right after all, I take her hand in mine. "We have been through a lot together." I might be over stepping, but maybe I have to put myself out there with confidence. "This is a new start. The chance for us to do this right. I promise to take care of Hitomi and would like to do so with her as my wife."
Hitomi stiffens next to me, either knowing that this declaration won't go over well, or that maybe she doesn't want it to. After all, though it has only been six months for her that is still more than enough time for her to tell me that she is with child.
Before her father can explode and possibly throw me out of the house, Hitomi's mother speaks up. "Well, it is late and we could all use the chance to think about this calmly. Van, you can stay here tonight, and in the morning we can discuss this with clear heads."
"Thank you." I bow my head to her gratefully. There will be plenty of arguments tonight, but behind closed doors.
Hitomi stands slowly her new form still awkward. "I'll get some blankets."
As soon as she leaves the room, her father stands over me. "You will stay away from Hitomi until we can decide what is best. I don't care who you are but on this world you are just some boy with no job, money, or family. If you were to stay here, there isn't anything you could offer my daughter."
No matter how angry I want to be at him right now, he is completely right. On this world I am nothing, on Gaia I have a country and people, but if we stayed here Hitomi would have nothing. These are her people, and she has a chance at a life here. Had a chance at a life.
He turns to go up the stairs, but has to get one more shot in. "I am a light sleeper. If you sneak into her room tonight I'll know."
I want to snap back at him, but swallow it down. Hitomi comes back with a stack of blankets balanced on her belly. It is adorable and I just want to hold her and never let go. Is that selfish of me? Should I walk away and give her a chance at a normal life?
Setting the blankets next to me for a moment she pauses unsure. She reaches out for me but pulled back at the last moment. "Good night Van."
I watch her go. It's been a long time since I've felt this lost. I'm alone in this strange place and I wonder how Hitomi ever survived it. She is so much stronger than anyone gave her credit for. Slouching over, I prop my elbow on my knees, and bury my face in my hands. I breathe in and out deeply, trying to regain myself. I look down at the floor and am surprised to be looking at a worn leather dairy. Mother's book must have fallen when I took off my shirt for my little show and tell.
Not having anything else I can do to sort my jumbled thoughts, I open the book once more and begin to read mother's slanted handwriting.
Red 28th Moon,
It has only been a few days since I've met Lord Goau, but it feels like we've known each other for so much longer. His soldiers were not happy in the slightest for me to join their party. They had one more battle to win before heading home to Fanelia, and they considered my presence a bad omen.
There wasn't a chance they wouldn't win as they were far better prepared than the other army. Lord Goau and his right hand man, the one eyed samurai named Balgus, both fought like they were born to hold swords. Their Guymelifs moved like dancers throughout the battlefield.
After the other army surrendered, the energy of excitement was contagious. We would be leaving for Fanelia in the morning, but until then there would be celebrating. The drinking had started before the sun had even set. It could be dangerous for me as one woman in an army of drunken soldiers, but I had nothing to fear. It was hard to tell if they were more afraid of me or just greatly respected Lord Goau.
The powerful man walked towards me with a smile that almost made his eyes glow with kindness. Sometimes it is hard to believe that he could also be a devastating warrior.
"Varie." He kissed my hand in such a way that I couldn't help but blush.
"Lord Goau, you fought beautifully."
He laughed a rich warm sound. "I don't know if many would describe what we did today as beautiful."
"Does it matter how they describe it?"
"No, I don't believe it does, but if war can be beautiful there isn't a word worthy enough to describe you." I for once was at a loss for words myself. Instead I gravitated to his side so we could walk together as had become our habit. He winced when I took his arm, I had not been told he was wounded.
"Are you injured my lord?" I carefully pushed up his sleeve despite his protests that it was nothing. A long but shallow gash on his right forearm was still bleeding slightly. What a stubborn man to not even let someone look at the wound! Even the smallest injury can be dangerous and risk infection. I quickly lead him out of the path and grab a few things from the nearest soldier. A roll of clean bandages, a clean rag, a container with fresh water, and his bottle of liquor …which he was the most cross to lose.
If Goau didn't want his men to know he was hurt then I have no reason to baby him. I dump the strong alcohol over the wound despite his hisses of pain. "I know it burns but we must clean the wound." I then poured the water over the area and dabbed it with the cloth until it was dry and the bleeding had seemed to stop. Wrapping his muscular forearm should have been the easiest part if it weren't for our close proximity, which kept distracting me.
"You will make a wonderful mother." He breathed, watching me with warm eyes. This is the closest I've ever been to a man who was not family. The rest of our evening was nice, if not for the loud celebrating going on in the background. The fires were stoked and someone started playing instruments. The drinking and carousing changed to dancing and singing. I had never been to a party quite like this and the energy was almost electric. Goau and I wandered close to the main group and they paused in their revelry to awkwardly stare at me.
"I should go before my presence ruins their fun." I whisper to my escort.
"How can they accept you, if you continue to hide from them?" Goau asks, smiling down at me. "Varie, once they get to know you, they won't have any reason to fear you. Do you dance? We could join in."
Suddenly shy I realize he is right. I have made no effort to get to know these people because I assumed it was what they wanted. "No, I don't dance." His face falls for a moment and it almost breaks my heart. "But I would be happy to sing."
"Wonderful! Go tell them what song to play." He grins and motions me to the paused musicians. I doubt they will know my favorite song, so I just begin to sing. It is a ballad slower then what they were playing but chillingly beautiful.
Next to me, Goau has begun to whistle the tune. The combination of my voice with him following the melody is very stirring. I could feel the music in a way like never before.
I lose myself to the song and the presence of the man standing beside me. It comes as a shock when the last note fades. All around me is silence. For a moment I fear the soldiers are even more distant, but then they start to cheer, clap, and talk all at once.
I look to Goau who only smiles as his men begin to accept me bit by bit.
Pink 3rd moon,
We've arrived! I can see Fanelia, and it is amazing. Surrounded by cliffs on three sides it is truly a place built to be defended. The trees are huge I can see them from here! We have another day of travel before we enter the city, but I'm so excited to see the blue roofed castle Goau described to me.
I only have one nagging worry. Goau's arm has yet to heal and it has been nearly a week since the night I sang in the firelight.
He tells me it is nothing and not to worry, but I noticed a deep scratch on Escaflowne's armor in the exact place Goau bears the un-healing wound. While he is busy making preparations to enter the city as heroes; I go looking for answers.
"Balgus?" I pause next to where he packs his gear.
"I do not have time to baby-sit demons today. Scurry back to Lord Goau's shadow where you hide." I know he dislikes me because he fears the legends not for his own safety but for Goau. He hates that he cannot protect his Lord from me, or the danger he thinks I represent.
I may understand but that doesn't mean he doesn't make me very angry. "If I could curse someone you would be at the top of my list." I hiss between my teeth. Shocked, he looks at me directly for the first time since the night at the lake. Normally, he watches me from a distance like you would a poisonous snake. "Now that I have your attention can you tell me if Lord Goau completed the bond with Escaflowne?"
Instant distrust clouds his scared features. "What do you know?"
"I know about Ispano Guymelifs through my clan. If they have the knowledge of Atlantis, why would we not?" Pressing my advantage I continue. "I know Ispano Guymelifs do not curse their operators but can 'share' their pain. The cost of fighting as one with Escaflowne is that if it is damaged the pilot is also injured in the same way."
I don't know if I just earned a few points in his book, but Balgus seems to be taking me seriously now. "He did the blood pact to awaken Escaflowne and nothing more. I would know if Lord Goau completed the bond." He says the words, but doesn't look too sure.
"Would you now?" I motion to where the armors sit idle while their owners complete other tasks. "Can you then tell me why Lord Goau has a wound that refuses to heal exactly where Escaflowne was gouged in the arm?"
Turning away from me the warrior heads directly for Escaflowne. He finds exactly what I expected, and that is that the cockpit was entirely undamaged. The damage is superficial and should not be reflected on Lord Goau, but it is.
"Can you fix it?" I ask to his shocked look. "If you can fix it then first Lord Goau will feel it, and most importantly the wound will disappear."
"We are almost home, why now?" He furrows his bushy brows.
"You may not believe me, but Lord Goau's safety is my main concern. I care for him. If we don't know about something as dangerous as the bond then how can we protect him?"
"Fine, I'll have it fixed and you watch him." He starts calling over for tools. Considering myself dismissed I turn to go, but Balgus calls out to me. "Varie, it goes without saying but tell no one of this… and thank you."
Closing the book I mark where I left off with a feather that lay forgotten on the floor after my earlier demonstration. Mother seems to be writing more details but less often. There is so much I didn't know and I haven't made it very far in the book yet. Balgus didn't like mother, but I know he only ever had good things to say about her. It seems that their friendship started out a bit rough and grew over their common concern. Father.
Why didn't anyone tell me about what completing the bond with Escaflowne would do? Not that it would have stopped me, but it just seems like there was so much they could have told me. Why does it keep coming back to me being the only one left in the dark? Is the bond what killed my father?
Would my child be better not knowing me? Not knowing the horrible things I have done in the name of my country. My hands will never be clean, and a life in Fanelia is far from safe. Would Hitomi ever forgive me if I left her here where she at least has her family? Or is that what she wanted all along?
Could I ever forgive myself if I walked away now?
If I did what was best for Hitomi and our child, would I ever be happy again?
I have too many questions and not enough information. Hitomi promised to explain her reasons to me, but we never made it to the shrine. The arguing from her parents' room has quieted down. The pretense of 'sleeping on it' didn't fool anyone. They just needed to 'discus' our situation behind closed doors.
As much as I'd like to have the Kanzaki's blessing this really isn't up to them. Hitomi and I need to figure out what is best for us. Something will have to be sacrificed.
I don't exactly 'sneak' up the stairs but being noisy would be counter-productive. I find myself standing in front of yet another door without a clue on how best to proceed. Suddenly at a loss again, I lose all the words I had planned to say, and now I'd just really like to not make a fool out of myself.
The door opens without me knocking for the second time tonight. Hitomi stands in front of me, wearing thin nightclothes that must be old as the shirt stretches tightly over her stomach. Aside from the brief moment where she hugged me, I haven't touched her belly and I really want to.
She steps aside and motions for me to enter her room. Closing the door behind her she leans back against it. Placing a hand on her protruding middle she looks down almost sadly. "Its all people see when they look at me anymore."
She's wrong, the first thing I always see is her face. Then I start thinking, and that's when I'm drawn down to the noticeable changes. "I'm just amazed that you carry a part of me with you."
Hitomi scoffs, as her eyes flash a challenge. "I don't need to be pregnant for that. How many times have we saved each other? We carry each other in our memories and hearts."
Now it's my turn for disbelief. "Really? I distinctly remember being sent away. Of not being told you were pregnant at all. You pulled away from me, not the other way around." I'm trying not to raise my voice but I'm kind of beyond the self-pity right now. "If you are so quick to forget I'll have to remind you Hitomi, but I came for you."
The next thing I know her arms are around my neck with her body pressed the length of mine. "How about we start over?" She breathes the words out before capturing my surprised lips. Not exactly what I was aiming for, but my arms embrace her as if I can memorize her by feel alone.
So much better then being slapped.
To Be Continued…
A/N- Well what did you think?! This story may seem like its slow to update but don't give up on me I'll make it worth your while.
I quit drawing about the time I stopped writing the first time. Now that I have all these stories going so well I've decided to start drawing again. So far I have just been making fanart to go along with my fanfictions. There is one picture for this story and two for Last Person on Earth. If you are interested I might have to post the links in my profile (if FFnet lets me). Or you can just go on DeviantArt and look up an artist named banryuu. Its always me.
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