No More Farewells - Chapter 8
Giles felt like pulling his hair out. Asa Feinstein wanted to hire him for some translation work. Work that had nothing to do with the occult, just some project Asa was working on and he didn't have enough skill in Ugaritic Cuneiform to decipher the text he needed. Giles' own skill was a bit lacking, but because of his extensive experience with Sumerian Cuneiform, his colleague had sought him out. Apparently the urgency was driven by a need to publish in time for the next conference in the spring.
"I don't really have the time for freelance work at the moment, Asa, but I'll see what I can do," Giles said in exasperation.
"Thank you, Rupert, you are indeed a good friend and lifesaver. I'll send copies of the text to you by email next week."
"No promises."
"No, of course not, but as a reminder I'll need the text back immediately after the holidays."
"Right," Giles sighed. "Now, really, I must get back to my… friend."
"Ah, yes, I am sorry about that, Rupert. Please, pass along my apologies again."
Giles nodded politely and headed back into the reception hall. He looked around, but couldn't find Buffy anywhere. Grabbing another glass of champagne, he decided to search the amphitheatre, but found it dark and vacant. After another pass through the reception hall, he started to panic, thinking perhaps she might have left the event. He certainly wouldn't blame her. He'd spent all of ten minutes of the last two hours with her. Fine host he'd been.
"Excuse me, sir," a young waiter said in English, garnering Giles' attention. "If you are looking for your lady friend I saw you with earlier, she walked down the hall and turned right."
"Thank you," he said before quickly heading in the same direction.
—
He finally found her sitting on a bench opposite a statue of a Greek goddess.
"Everything all right?" he asked, taking a seat on the bench next to her.
"Yeah, I just… needed some air," Buffy answered, her attention on the statue in front of her.
"I'm sorry. I haven't really been… very attentive."
"It's okay, you're in demand guy. It's kinda neat to see. I mean you left this life to be my Watcher. It's kinda nice to see you do something that doesn't have anything to do with an apocalypse or teenagers."
"Still, I asked you to join me and I have been negligent," he said shaking his head. "And it's all a bit stuffy, this gathering of academic, historian types. I know it's not your thing. Thank you for coming."
"It's not stuffy!" she protested as she turned to look at him. "And I am so happy that I made it here on time to watch you give your presentation. You were really great."
He gave her a shy smile.
"And your speech… wow. I mean, parts of it… there was so much passion there, Giles."
Rubbing the back of his neck with his left hand, "I don't know about that."
"Passion," she restated. "You really made them think out there… really made me think."
He dropped his chin to look at her over the rim of his glasses and she shifted on the bench under his scrutiny, biting her lip.
"It wasn't just about artifacts, was it?" she asked hesitantly.
"No it wasn't," he answered after sucking in a breath and letting it out rather slowly.
"It was about us," she said in a hushed tone. "We're the broken artifact."
His heart threatened to pound out of his chest and he gave a slight nod, confirming her analysis. When she didn't reply he opted to give them a lifeline, a way out of the emotional quagmire they were quickly finding themselves in. "It, uh, wasn't the speech that Sir John approved. I might be out of a job next week."
Buffy recognized the need for humor and embraced it. "Well, there's alway your freelance work to fall back on."
He twisted his body to look at her. "I thought you might offer me that position in your Council again."
"It's yours if you want it. You always know that," she responded gently, taking his hand and lacing their fingers together. "But it's not what you want. It's not who you are anymore and that's okay."
His green eyes softened at her understanding. "Thank you."
"Giles…" she started, before looking down at their hands again. "I've been thinking about your speech a lot. Our relationship is an artifact of who we are to each other, but it's broken because we keep redefining our roles. I mean once we were mentor and student, then friends, and partners. Then we sort of lost our way after I died and came back…"
Not knowing what to say, Giles just squeezed her hand in support.
Buffy looked up after feeling the slight pressure and gave him a sad smile. "And we really haven't been on track since. But underneath it all, we always had Slayer and Watcher… only we're not even that anymore. We haven't been for a long time."
"No, we haven't," he agreed. "Not since the crisis with the First."
"I could argue even before that, but we somehow managed to work together… mostly." She shook her head. "We're getting sidetracked… Giles, I don't want to keep trying to shoehorn what we do have back into something we created years ago. It doesn't fit anymore and it's not working."
He shifted his body on the bench and cupped her cheek with his free hand. "Neither do I. But I find myself asking, what do we have, Buffy? Because whatever it is, it's not enough for me and neither is what we had before. Not anymore. And as hard as it is to find solid footing around you - and it might be easier to just walk away - I find that I can't do that. I love you. I don't want to lose you entirely."
"I don't want to lose you either." She covered his hand with hers and lowered them to her lap. "I love you too, Giles, I do. I still do. I don't want to lose you. These past ten months have been so hard. I've tried to normalize things, to be friends and to be more if we… and I want…" Buffy sighed audibly in frustration, finally daring to bring her eyes to meet his. "I want to fix us. I just don't know how. Apologies don't seem to be enough."
"We need to redefine what and who we are to one another so that we can rebuild the trust we once had."
"I do trust you."
He shook his head slowly, not breaking eye contact. "Not with your heart anyway. At least that is what you'd said before you left for California."
She closed her eyes for a brief moment. There was still a painful truth to that statement. "I want to trust you with it."
"But?"
"But… I don't know how, Giles." She stood up and walked over to the statue, taking interest in the detached expression of the goddess.
Giles sat on the bench watching her as she struggled internally with what to say, and suddenly he knew just how right Dawn and Xander were. Buffy needed him to show her his sincerity, his commitment to her in order to let herself fully commit to him and their relationship, if they ever were to have one. They could talk circles around their problems with him apologizing a million times and still come to no solution. Buffy was action girl, as Dawn had so eloquently put it. The only way to break from their pattern was for him to change. Now he just needed to be less word guy and more action guy… well maybe a few words guy.
He approached her softly. "Maybe we can find a new role that is appropriate for me," he said, his voice low.
'What is he going on about now?' she wondered. Raising her eyes to the goddess in a plea for silent strength, Buffy turned around to face him. Before she could say anything he shook his head requesting that he be allowed to continue and she raised an eyebrow in question.
"I know of any no other way to convince you to trust me again other than to show you…" Taking her hand, he dropped to one knee. "Buffy Summers, would you do me the greatest honor of becoming your husband?"
She stared at him, wide eyed with disbelief, and though it scared him that he might be making a critical error in judgment, he decided to trust his instincts when he felt her tighten her grip on his hand.
Breathing in deeply for courage, he continued, "I want to face life and all its surprises with you. Whatever you want, I too, desire. I want to wake up to your smile every morning and fall asleep with you in my arms every night. I want to soothe your pain and never, ever again be a source of it.
"We started our journey almost a decade ago as Watcher and Slayer and my devotion to you has never waned. Now I find myself hopelessly in love with you. I promise that this new path - our life together - will begin and end with you. Always. Marry me, Buffy."
"Oh my god," she whispered almost disbelievingly. Bringing her steepled fingers to rest against her lips, Buffy swallowed the lump of emotion that threatened to spill from her eyes. As unconventional as things were normally for them, she certainly hadn't expected him to get down on bended knee and propose marriage. And definitely not in the hallowed walls of the Louvre, although, on quick reflection, that somehow seemed very Giles.
Though platonic for most of their acquaintance, their relationship had always had a deep intimacy about it: full of happy times, triumphant victories, extraordinary moments, moments of profound love, and also of intense pain. And they'd shared the mystical bond of destiny and fate. But destiny had changed eighteen months ago with the closing of the Hellmouth and the activation of the new Slayers, and so had their bond, allowing for the exploration of something more between them. Even the long months of darkness hadn't been able to extinguish the intimacy that burned deep within.
His impassioned proposal had definitely caught her off guard. That Giles would promise himself to her, not out of some sacred duty, but because he loved her and wanted to be with her had completely torn down the walls she'd attempted to raise around her heart. His face held earnestness and trepidation as his love for her reflected in his eyes, and her expression changed from profound disbelief to that of pure elation as she dropped her hands and her smile reached her eyes, allowing the tears to spill down over her lashes and down her cheeks.
"Yes!" Buffy finally declared and he rose up from his spot on the ground and met her in a tight embrace, picking her up and twirling her around like a man half his age, laughing in joy and relief.
She held onto him, never wanting to let go, her face buried in the crook of his neck, his natural scent mingling with his cologne, producing a heady affect amidst the euphoria of emotions she was currently experiencing.
Giles gently set her down and cradled her face between his hands. "Are you sure?"
"Yes!" she repeated, her smile reaching her tear filled eyes.
"I can scarcely believe it," he murmured, searching her face for any trace of doubt.
"Neither can I," she answered just as breathily. "I love you."
Resting her forehead against hers, he swallowed thickly trying to keep the heavy emotions at bay. "God, Buffy, I love you. I'm so sorry for everything-"
"Shh. This is our beginning. I said yes," she interrupted with a little laugh before pulling his lips to hers and drawing him into an impassioned kiss. It was a homecoming for both of them, having both felt adrift at sea for so long.
When the kiss came to a natural end, Giles pulled a ring box from his jacket pocket and opened it, revealing the most delicate oval cut sapphire and diamond ring she had ever seen.
"It's gorgeous," she breathed, wondering at the timing of his proposal.
He pulled the platinum engagement ring from the box and gently placed it on her finger. "And yet its radiance is completely eclipsed by your beauty," he said, his eyes holding hers in adoration as he lifted her hand to his lips and placed a soft kiss on the knuckle just above the ring.
"Mademoiselle, Monsieur, l'école est sur le point de fermer," a security guard called to them as he entered the room. "Si vous voulez bien vous diriger vers la sortie."
"Oui, bien sûr, nous partons tout de suite. Merci," Giles replied, shifting his attention to the guard.
Buffy leaned her forehead against Giles' chest. "I take it we aren't supposed to be here?" she said with a hint of amusement.
"He's telling us that the school is closing and it is time to leave," he translated loosely as he brought her hand down to their sides.
"I don't want the evening to end," she said with a sigh as they walked back towards the coat room.
"It doesn't have to," Giles answered with a tender smile as he looked down at her. "We are in the City of Light after all."