S.P.K. (Stupidly Pretentious K...er, Code-names)

Premise: "Near meets his heterosexual life partner in the search for Kira"

Prompt by allietheepic7: "What about a Harry that the U.S. recruited for Near's team?"

Disclaimer: An AU/EWE that presupposes Near and Harry are of an age (19). UNBETA'd.

Author's Note: Yes, I know I haven't posted ANYTHING for a while. I am a grown-ass woman with grown-ass woman real world obligations, so I won't say sorry so much as just get on with this.

. . .

Harry bit back a yawn as the President droned on and on...and on...and...on. Honestly, he understood perfectly that this mission was of the utmost importance, and a way to bridge the gap between the British Magical Community and the American Muggle Government. He understood what was at stake, and why code names and paranoia the likes of which would have surprised even Mad Eye.

He got it.

He wasn't the youngest Auror in a Century for no goddamn reason, after all.

That didn't make it any easier to listen to the President's self-important blustering after spending a solid 48 hours in transit.

"...along with our liason, Giovanni. Can I count on your aid, Auror Potter?"

Harry blinked back a yawn, his lips stretching into a bland smile. All that blustering just to confirm what his boss and the President had already confirmed via contract? Honestly, if this was indicative of the general competence of the American government, it was really no surprise that they'd all but fallen to a single bloke on a power trip.

"Of course, sir. Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to get settled in at HQ." So, can you wrap this up please, you overblown sack of incompetence went unsaid, but if Giovanni's quiet cough was any indication, the undertone had not gone unnoticed.

Well, fuck.

They hadn't hired him for his tact, so if they didn't like his inability to kiss their overly-politicized asses, they could blow it out said arses.

The President's vapid smile and hearty hand-shake was both reassuring and disappointing: reassuring that his disregard hadn't been noted, and utterly disappointing that such an idiot was going to be his "Big Boss" for however long he was stuck States-side.

Harry couldn't turn tail and leave quickly enough. He didn't even care that he had no fucking clue where he was going. He just needed a goddamn shower and a carafe of caffeine...tea, coffee, whatever he could get his hands on. Sleep could wait til he was briefed.

A subtle tug on the starched arm of his brand new suit had him turning to meet the dark, amused gaze of his new liaison and compatriot. "Garage is this way."

"Hn."

"We'll stop for coffee on the way; you're going to need it."

A quirked eyebrow. Snape would be proud...or he'd roll over in his grave. Either was possible, but Harry wouldn't put money on the first.

"We have to catch a flight out to New York. You'll be briefed there, then we'll get you settled."

Harry bit back the blue streak fighting to break free from his chapped lips. "...you mean to tell me they flew me out to D.C. to talk at me for three hours, just to put me on another plane?"

"Yes." Giovanni's lips twitched, like the pretty-faced bastard found this funny.

This time, he didn't fight back the urge to curse. "That's fucking stupid, that's what that is."

"Yes, but then, politics is often 'fucking stupid.' You get used to it."

Harry snorted.

"Luckily, Near isn't stupid. Quite the opposite. So that's something, then, right?"

Harry shrugged. 'Near,' huh?

.. .. ..

He stared into the abyss, and the abyss stared back...and rose to his feet, shuffling forward til he was way too close.

When Harry had heard he would be working with a legitimate genius, he wasn't sure what to expect. Honestly, after so many years around the likes of Dumbledore and Hermione (and, yes, Snape, too), he had given up presuming to know anything about anything, when it came to what to expect from genii. Even so, the tall, gangly bloke, his white hair a mess that rivaled his own, was definitely not on the list of things he had been expecting.

"Harry Potter?"

He nodded. "Near?" The young man smiled blandly, his eyes impressively blank.

"I imagine the President has told you about what we're trying to do here?"

"Yes...and at length."

Another smile, more coldly amused than bland, this time. "Yes. For an idiot, the man can certainly talk at great length."

He snorted. "Rambling idiots aside, I'd much rather hear from you what we're going to be doing here."

Near nodded, hunching as he turned on his heel to shuffle towards a tower of...were those...playing cards?

Harry blinked, taking in the spanning city scape seemingly built out of a mishmash of varying playing decks, as well as the Major Arcana from multiple Tarot decks.

"We'll get to that in a minute. For now, coffee?" Harry blinked as, with a flick of his hand, a man in shades stepped out of the shadows with a cart full of hot pasties, treacle tart and a carafe of steaming coffee.

Harry felt his lips tugging up into a smile. Well, hell. He might actually learn to like this creepy bastard.

[end]