20th October 2008
Albuquerque, New Realize Mexico.
…
It has taken me a few days to readjust to what happened. It was so sudden, I hadn't expected it at all. I knew, deep down - not matter how much I tried to blank out - that he had underlying feelings for me. He'd told me that straight away. That he wanted me, but for the moment friends was enough. When did that change? And why, if we are friends, did he not warn my first was what was going on inside of him. Because honestly, I would have liked a bit of a heads up.
I remember standing there, shocked, too stunned to move. I stood, with my mouth open, and glazed eyes. He was in front of me, his lips had just been connected with mine. And all I could do was… nothing. I had no idea what to do. So, like usual, I ran. Because that's what I do. It's the way I've been brought up. We've moved so often, I've just moved from my problems. That's the way it goes.
And this is how it happened…
We were walking home from school, on the usual route. Since we had become friends, he had become very protective of me. The nights were getting darker, and he insisted on accompanying me home. So, every day, we would stop off at the park for a while, before travelling to my house where we would part ways.
As we walked into the park, I remember slipping my folder into my bag before Troy get his hands on it. He seemed to take it for a very precious item, carrying it for me wherever we went together. I thought this was ridiculous - I'm not that delicate, I can carry folder! - but he thought otherwise. Swinging my bag back, we continued to walk. I could feel him staring at me, a feeling I'd become somewhat used to over the past month or so. His eyes seemed glued to me in some way. Weird, loveable boy.
I looked back at him. "What?" Sometimes, when I knew he was looking, I'd ask what he was looking at. Other times I'd avoid it. But he'd been doing it so much that day, it was making me curious.
He looked down at his converse shoes, the black fabric becoming grey as they were washed and washed with the Albuquerque rainfall. Then he looked up again, a look in his eyes I couldn't place. He outstretched his hand.
"Take my hand."
It was a simple statement; but one that held so many meanings. At this time, if I'd known what would be the end result, I'm not so sure if I would have accepted. But I did, very hesitantly, stretching out my hand and feelings his fingers thread through mine. I remember a funny feeling whizzed through my stomach, and as I looked at him again, we smiled.
We continued walking, over the various paths, our feet knowing perfectly well where we were going. He swung out entwined hands forward and backward, looking like young lovers as he did so. When I look back I realise we looked that way. At the time, I was completely oblivious.
We went to the swings, completely cliché, I know, but we did. Sitting down, our hands dropped, and a sudden sense of loneliness evaded me. We swung gently, in time with each other.
Then he asked me, "Brie, I know you might not want to tell me this, but… why are you do guarded?"
I sighed. Every time, I tell him the same answer. The same one he never accepts as the truth. Yes, there is more to it. And yes, I don't tell him every detail. It's not that I don't trust him, I just… can't tell him. Because every time I think about what happened in my past, especially the broken friendship with Drew and Anna, I feel the pain again. I want to get over it, but I just can't. We had a connection, the three of us, and now it is broken, my trust with people is too.
So I answer the question in the same way I always do. "Because I don't want to get hurt."
He sighed, agitated, like always. "You say that every single time."
"I know I do."
He looked at me, those eyes boring into mine, seeing into my soul. "But it's not the truth, is it Brie?"
I looked back at him. "Yes, it is."
He shook his head, swinging back and forward, his converses scuffing on the concrete below us. "I'm not saying that it isn't correct, but what you're telling me isn't the full story."
"I hardly ever tell people everything."
"Why?"
"Because I'll get hurt, in the end."
With this statement, he began to get angry. I could see it bubbling in those orbs of his, darkening; deepening. "Not everyone will hurt you, Gabriella." He only uses my full name when he is annoyed.
I was getting fed up of this interrogation. I made to get up. "Most will."
He got up too, fast enough to make his swing bounce backwards. He stalked forward, his eyes on fire. I tried to ignore the flash of adrenaline I got from that look. To look away, I picked up my bag, hauling it onto my shoulder. He same one's he grabbed to pull me forward a moment later.
He leant in, whispering. "I won't."
I was stunned by his closeness, dazed completely. "Won't what?" Memory lapse.
"Hurt you. I won't. I won't let myself hurt someone I love."
His words swam around my brain, trying to filter but being unsuccessful.
He… loves… me?
He loves… me.
He loves me.
He. Loves. Me.
I remember blinking rapidly. Oh my gosh.
And that's when his lips pressed into mine. Even as I write I can remember the feeling. The small amount of pressure on my lips; the melting sensation as we kissed; the fireworks in my stomach. I can still feel his lips on mine. And the feelings and memories just won't fade, no matter what I do.
I'll just have to face up to him, won't I?
And face up to the fact that…
Maybe…
I'm falling for him too?
A/N; What do you think? I realise I kind of moved this on incredibly fast, but that's because I can feel this story coming to an end. I've made a chapter plan, which I am going to stick to, and if that works out this story only has about 3-4 chapters left. I also want to apologize because compared to my other stories, this really isn't my best work. I tried hard with this story, but for some reason it just didn't fit with me. I really hope you are enjoying what I'm managing to put down, tho'. :)
Yep, so, hopefully if you all review - CLICK BUTTON - I'll make it over 100 reviews. Cheers, lovely readers!