-Yuuki, sit still so I can brush your hair-

-Yuuki, come over here and pick up your toys. You know how clumsy your father can-

-Yuuki, your brother is-

-Yuuki-

-Yuuki-

Yuuki, I just want you to be happy. That's all I've ever wanted for you. I used to dream of you, even before you were growing so soundly inside of me. I never wanted this for you, this life of secrecy-always keeping you hidden away. I wanted you to be able to spread you wings and dance under the bright blue sky, the light of the sun. I'm so sorry for taking that away from you, for always hiding you in this room. I hope that one day you'll understand why I did what I did...and that...you'll be able to forgive me. If you could remember...you'd really hate mother-

...

I wanted this pain to end.

I didn't want to open my eyes because of the throbbing ache that was settled deep within my skull. It felt as if someone had a hold of both sides of my head and was squeezing with everything they had, all their strength. I was so completely convinced my brain was going to boil and melt into an oozing mass and explode out of my eyes. My body felt so weak and heavy, like I just ran a thousand thousand miles uphill through sand in the scorching heat.

I wanted this pain to end.

I felt someone dabbing gently at my temples with a cool, wet cloth then. It felt really good against my flushed skin. I sighed, turning towards their soothing touches, enjoying the gentleness.

I knew I was in my own bed now, in my room. I could smell my familiar scents; perfumes and lotions, the candle I burned whenever I read poetry, recognize the feel of my bedding surrounding me.

I cracked an eyelid-even though I'd rather roll over back into sleep-curious to see who was touching me.

It was Zero.

Honestly, I was a little disappointed to see him. Though I didn't really want to have to explain myself this time, I was really hoping to see Kaname leaning over me, caring for me so tenderly.

"Are you gonna tell me what happened, Yuuki?" Zero asked when he noticed me looking at him. "I heard you screaming. When I found you, you were on the ground, just lying there, staring at the sky like you had seen something...terrible. You weren't moving. For a second I thought that maybe you might have been..." he trailed off, not wanting to finish his thought, shaking his head.

I sighed, trying to remember what had happened then, what Shiki had done something to me on that balcony, why had no one come before he put his hands on me, so close to the classroom-to put a stop to it. Why had none of the Night Class even noticed he was missing from lessons and come looking? But I didn't really know the answer to any of those questions, not now, not when my head was throbbing so insistently. "My head hurts." I cried, unable to hold back my tears any longer.

Zero dropped the cloth he was using to wipe my face back into the basin of cool water on my bedside table, surprised by my tears. "Yuuki, what's wrong?" he asked slowly, concern lacing his voice.

"My head just hurts." I complained, rubbing at my temples, not really sure what else to tell him. I didn't know how to explain what had happened with Shiki.

Zero got in the bed next to me, moving to my side. He wrapped an arm around me and pulled me against him. "Tell me what's wrong, Yuuki. What's really wrong with you. I know it's more then just a headache. I know you better then you think."

I sniffled wondering for a split second if Yori had told him about my nightmares. Then I felt guilty for thinking so little of her. She made me a promise. She wouldn't so easily break it. "Well..." I started slowly, worried about what he would think of me. Zero wouldn't judge me though, right? He knew what it was like to drown. I was ready to unburden myself.

"Well...for awhile now I've been having nightmares..."

"I know about your nightmares, Yuuki. You've had them since you were small."

"Right but...I've never told you what they're about...It's about the night I was attacked by that rouge vampire, the night when Kaname found me..."

Zero just stared up at the ceiling, patiently waiting for me to continue.

"Only here in the dream Kaname doesn't get to me in time and that vampire kills me, so violently." I couldn't keep my body from shaking, the images so vivid and violent-being ripped to shreds by a monsters in the freezing cold snow. "And then recently, the dreams have been changing. I hear a women's voice-and she just sounds so sad. Like so heartbreakingly sad. I feel like I know her too. And in the dreams I know she's speaking to me, but I either can't hear her or I can't remember what she's telling me. And when I wake up, if I try to remember what she said to me-or if I try to remember that dream at all-I see blood everywhere. It's all over me, the walls, the floor..." I started crying harder, unable to control myself now. "And it's so terrifying. I don't understand! Why can't I remember anything?" I cried.

Zero was silent the whole time, just listening to me pour my heart out quietly. He just held me close and stroked my hair.

"I want to feel normal."

"Tell me why you were just lying there." Zero pressed. He sat up and stared down at me.

I swallowed hard. His eyes demanded I tell him the truth, apparently setting my dream aside. "Shiki did...something strange to me."

Zero just nodded and stood, fixing the covers around me, tucking me in. "Get some sleep, Yuuki. Everything is going to be okay. I won't let any one else hurt you." he whispered that last part before turning and walking out of the room.

It felt like an empty promise. Though I knew Zero would probably do everything he could to keep Shiki away from me-to keep everything he thought was a possible threat away from me-the world was a big place. He could protect me from everything. But he couldn't protect me from myself. From my dreams. From my nightmares. From the ghosts of my unknown past.

...

When I opened my eyes later that night it was completely dark. I had no idea how late it was, what time it was. I couldn't see anything. But I could feel. And I could feel him, feel his weight on the bed beside me, the mattress creaked beneath him when he moved. Feel his gentle fingers softly stroking my cheeks, running through my hair. Feel him leaning down, pressing light kisses to my face, my forehead, cheeks, along my jaw, the thin skin right behind my ear. I could hear him lightly whisper my name in my ear, and to me, it sounded like a declaration of love, like everything I felt for him he poured out to me with just the simple whispering of my name in my ear.

And I wanted to hear more of it.

I wanted him to say my name forever.

My heart was bursting in my chest and I knew he could hear it.

When he noticed he had awoken me, he chuckled lightly-smiling against my skin. He slipped his arms beneath me-one around my waist, the other behind my neck, tangling his fingers in my hair, lifting me up, cradling me in his arms, against his chest. "Yuuki," Kaname whispered once again, so low in my ear I almost didn't hear it. I was a child in his arms-so small and fragile compared to him-as long as he held me, nothing could ever touch me. I was safe.

I felt shocks of electricity shoot through my limps, causing me to twitch slightly-simply from his light touches. Whether I was nervous or excited, I wasn't sure. But it was probably both.

But I knew what this was. And I wanted so much more of him.

When he pressed his lips to mine I felt as if I had been brought back to life again. My blood was soaring through my veins and my whole body felt hot. All nightmares and fears fled to the far darkest corners of my mind, completely forgotten.

Kaname leaned forward, pressing me down into the mattress-pressing his weight down on top of me-resting comfortably in-between my thighs, never breaking contact with my mouth. Every inch of him calling out to me. My hands immediately went to his face-his hair-having always wanted to feel him like this, so intimately, to touch him. I greedily ran my fingers through his hair, across his shoulders, down his back and up again. His muscles flexed beneath my hands, apparently wanting this just as badly as I did.

His lips went to my neck-sucking and kissing the skin there-making my knees shake, my back arch, making me smile-excitement crawling up my spine. I wrapped my legs around his waist when he ground into me, unable to stop myself from rising up to meet his every touch-a blush flooding my cheeks at my body's reactions. It felt so deep, unfathomablely deep, just touching each other like this. He reached his hand down in-between our bodies-touching me intimately.

I couldn't keep my breath, I couldn't keep my thoughts, it was just him and me. We were the only one's in the entire world. Nothing was going to keep us apart any longer.

This had to be a dream.

Kaname leaned up from my neck to look down in my eyes. I knew he was trying to talk to me, but all I could hear was this annoying beeping sound.

"What?" I asked, confused.

He repeated himself but all I heard was the beeping.

...

I opened my eyes and I was alone in my bed, tangled in damp sheets and completely out of breath, bright sunlight flooding in through the window. I looked around my room feeling dazed and confused. There was no sign that Kaname had been anywhere near me or my room except the fading memory and the feeling the dream left between my thighs.

That dream I had last night was strange-leaving the other events of the evening almost completely forgotten. Like so many dreams I've had before, it kept my thoughts busy-always wondering back to the same thing, the same moment-blood rushing through my veins, limbs trembling, heart racing. Of course this time the dream was pleasant and so very very vivid, unlike all those others. I was with Kaname the way I've always wanted to be . It felt so real, like he was really there with me, in my room, in my bed, in my arms. I couldn't focus in class , my mind drifting back to the moment when our bodies finally joined-

"Yuuki," Yori nudged my shoulder. "What is it?" She asked in a low whisper, sneaking glances between me and the teacher. "You keep gasping."

I blushed not realizing I had been reacting so loudly-out loud at all-to that dream, to his phantom touches. I shook my head at her. "No." I whispered back, quickly thinking up a lie to tell her. "I'm alright. I just felt a chill is all." I could have told her about the dream I had with Kaname. But I didn't want to. At least not here in the classroom with all these other people around to here. Plus Yori would probably blow it out of proportion-telling me it's some sort of sign that I should work harder to peruse him.

Zero and I got called to the Headmaster's office after classes.

"What is it now?" Zero mutter once we were in his office. He hadn't mentioned anything about our last night of patrols together. I had no idea whether or not he confronted Shiki about what had happened to me or not. I wasn't sure if I was ready to ask Zero either. He was a difficult person to confront, even with how close the two of us had become.

"I'm so glad you asked, Kiryu-kun!" the Headmaster cried cheerfully, a huge smile on his face. "The Association called for you! Looks like you'll be going into town until late tonight!"

"Association?" I asked-taking my usual seat in front of the Headmaster's desk-curious about Zero's secret life. I knew he was a Vampire Hunter, but he never talked about it. The Headmaster kept the whole thing secret from me as well.

"Hmm?" The Headmaster smiled at me. "Oh Yuuki, it's nothing you need to worry yourself over. Just super boring work!" he chuckled in that obnoxiously cheerful way he has, waving he hand all nonchalant at me. "Besides," he went on. "I have something else for you to do, Yuuki." he finished around on his desk-through his mountains of paperwork-till he fished out a handful. "I need you to take these-" he thrust them forward at my face. "to the Moon Dormitory and give them to Kaname-kun. Directly."

I blushed at the mention of Kaname's name, thinking back to that dream I had of him, of us naked, twining in the sheets. I took the papers from him to busy my hands. "What are they?" I asked, clearing my throat.

"Vacation forms!" he cried out loudly, throwing his arms out above his head.

"Vacation?" Zero asked, arching an eyebrow.

The Headmaster nodded, grinning ear to ear with his eyes shut. "Yes. Summer break is sneaking up on us. It'll be here before you know it! And the Night Class students leave's need to be approved by Kaname. I need his signature on every one of those forms. Ahhhhh! Remember the vacations we used to take?!" he cradled his face in his hands, lost in memories. "You kids were so young."

I wasn't about to take a trip down Memory Lane-on all the fun family vacations the Headmaster used to drag us on. Zero didn't seem too eager for that trip either.

"She cannot go to the Moon Dorm herself, Headmaster." he stated firmly.

"Hmm?" the Headmaster turned his attention to Zero. "And why might that be, Kiryu-kun?"

"You know why. It isn't safe for her."

"Because they're monsters, taking the forms of humans?"

They stared at each other-Zero looking completely livid and the Headmaster completely calm. An uncomfortable silence quickly filled the room.

I jumped out of my chair, eager for the opportunity to get away. "Well these forms aren't gonna deliver themselves!"

I practically ran out of the room, leaving them to their screaming match. Not that I believed the Headmaster would lose his cool with Zero. He hardly ever lost his cool with anyone.

I stared down at the stack of papers wondering how I got myself into this mess. It felt like a mess to me at least. Having to go to the Moon Dormitory with paper work, and all by myself. It seemed like a lousy excuse just to get into Kaname's dorm room...

Maybe it was.

No.

There was no way the Headmaster would be trying to hook us up like that. I mean, sure, the Headmaster liked Kaname a lot, but this seemed like something Yori would think up. Not my dimwitted father. That seemed really messed up, even for someone like him. And creepy. My father, hooking me up...

I flipped though the papers some more as I climbed the stairs to the Dorm's main entrance, just reading the names. There were a lot. I wondered if it'd take Kaname a while to go through them. I hoped it would. We hadn't really gotten to spend any time together. The last time I was in his room I kissed him.

My heart raced.

I blushed, slapping myself in the face with the papers and stopping dead in my tracks.

There was no way I could go in there.

What if he brought it up? Or what if I brought it up! I've never been good under pressure. I've been known to mutter, stutter, and bumble on like a complete idiot when I get nervous, shy, and uneasy. Plus I can be a bit awkward-really awkward-especially in front of Kaname, especially in front of Kaname.

No.

What was I thinking?

Kaname's never gone out of his way to embarrass me. Plus he's really nice. So there's no way he'd bring up a conversation that would make me uncomfortable. Why was I freaking out over nothing?

Plus I still wasn't one hundred percent positive how he felt about me.

Mind made up I shoved the double doors open and marched proudly inside the dormitory, loosing my conviction as soon as I walked in and was met by a room filled with piercing eyes. Eyes that sucked every ounce of self-confidence right out of my body.

Vampires filled the common area. They were all just lounging and conversing with each other. But as soon as I entered the room they all stared at me, eyes fixing me like they've never seen a person before.

I stared back, contemplated waving, thought better of it, and continued on my way up the stairs to the Dorm Leader's room.

I took in a deep breath before knocking on the door, not wanting to linger in the hallway for too long. It's not that I was afraid of the Night Class students, I wasn't, not really. They just made me uncomfortable. Plus I had no idea where Shiki was. And I did not want to run into him again.

I knocked on the door before me, suddenly weary of the shadows.

"Kaname?" I called when he didn't answer.

I knocked again, louder this time.

Still nothing.

"Kaname?"

I pushed the door open when there was no reply, stepping inside, figuring that maybe he had stepped out or was asleep. But that wasn't the case. Kaname was sitting at his desk, his head resting in his palm, leaning over splayed papers. The curtains weren't drawn right now, filling the room with a soft orange glow. Kaname glanced up at me when I opened the door as if I had actually startled him, causing my heart to skip a beat.

I cleared my throat. "Kaname, why didn't you answer me?" I asked, feeling slightly offended. "I had knocked..."

"I was distracted." he admitted, not seeming surprised at all that I was standing before him. "I've been neglecting my work." he gestured at the mountain of paper work with his hand like it was a nuisance, leaning back in his chair.

"Then you aren't going to like what I've brought you." I joked, stepping into the room. I pushed the door shut behind me and stepped up to his desk. His eyes followed me the whole time, making my heart speed up. There was something about his gaze that made me feel naked. "The Headmaster wants you to sign these, I guess." I held the stack of papers out to him with both hands.

He sighed, taking them from me. Our hands brushed slightly, causing me to shiver slightly. "Always waiting till the last minutes, that man." he muttered as he flipped through them, shaking his head slightly at the Headmaster's lack of organizational skills. He put his pen to the first sheet and I watch as his signature flowed smoothly out onto the paper like a work of art. He sighed again, the sound so foreign to me. I don't think I've ever seen Kaname stressed.

"Do you want me to go?" I asked, sensing his frustration. "I could come back in a bit to get those, when you're all finished." I didn't want to be in his way.

"I want you to stay." he said, taking ahold of my wrist. Kaname gently pulled me into his lap, wrapping an arm around my waist, hugging me close. I laughed, feeling like a child again on his lap like this.

"Shall I help you?" I asked, picking up a pen off his desk.

Kaname leaned over my shoulder and set the next form on top of the stack for me to sign. I copied his signature-less elegantly-across the bottom line. We both laughed. I couldn't help but stare at him, absolutely in love with the sound of genuine, full laughter flowing from his lips. This was where I wanted to be. I wished to God-begging him-to please freeze time. I wanted this moment to last forever.

"At this rate we'll be done in no time." he said against my hair.