I flipped through the stack of signed documents on my way back home from the Moon Dormitory, comparing my version of Kaname's signature to his own-mine a childish scrawling compared to his elegance. It was defiantly obvious that he didn't sign them all, but Kaname insisted no one would question it. I knew that that wasn't completely true, of course. The Headmaster was sure to say something about it, probably able to recognize my writing right away. I wasn't really sure what I was going to tell him.
I brought the collar of my uniform jacket up to my nose-quietly inhaling. It smelled exactly like him, a side affect from leaning against his chest for so long. I hadn't sat in Kaname's lap since I was a little girl. I missed feeling so close to him, being in his arms, feeling so incredibly safe and close to him. I knew that I was the cause of the growing distance between us, my insecurities always getting the best of me. He had never really done anything to push me away.
We had finished filling out the documents far too quickly. I longed for an excuse to stay with Kaname just a little bit longer.
"You're looking rather cheerful tonight, Yuuki-chan." someone sang out lazily.
I looked all around me, checking my surroundings for the intruder, the only light to guide me glinting down from the moon and the stars. There, sitting up high in a tree-moonlight gleaming off his red hair-Shiki grinned down at me. His arms were crossed behind his head and his legs were spread out on the branch before him, ankles crossed.
Unease crawled up my spine, filling my stomach, causing my heart to pick up speed.
Slowly, I reached my hand up my thigh, underneath my skirt, grasping cool metal into my suddenly sweaty palm. I thought back to what Zero had said to me before, asking what had happened with Shiki before. Sure, he never said exactly what had happened between the two of them, whether or not he had actually took care of the whole thing, but Zero had always protected me. "What do you want, Senpai?" I called out to him, trying to sound brave-but my voice shook.
He laughed at that-sensing my fear-sitting up, swinging his legs over the side of the branch.
"Don't move!" I threatened, extending my weapon out before me and taking a defensive stance. This only seemed to make him laugh harder, me trying to protect myself.
"Oh Yuuki-chan," he jumped down from the tree, landing gracefully before me. "And what exactly do you plan on doing with this?" Shiki grabbed hold of my weapon as if it were nothing more then and unwanted toy. He yanked it from my unsteady fingers with easy and threw it behind him. I didn't see where it landed but I heard it clank loudly to the ground, then roll even further away. It called out to me, sensing that I was in danger.
"Can you hear that?" Shiki asked, wrapping his hand around my throat. His fingers contracted painfully, stealing my air away, choking me. I didn't know what he meant by that. "That's the sound of no one coming to save you."
...
Lately, I've been having such scary dreams. Whenever I close my eyes there's always someone looking at me there, all I see is two different colored eyes. One red...like blood. And the other so blue. They just stare at me, for a long time, always staring. Like they're waiting for...something to happen.
...
Maybe I was just a naive, idiot girl. Maybe I should have left things alone to begin with. I had a good life. A good home-a great home, everything I could possibly want was lying right there before me. A great father. Zero was always such a great brother to me, even though-I had started to understand-that he wanted to be so much more from me. I could have left things alone then, left them the way that they were, but I was selfish, so very, very selfish. I was too curious, always asking questions that I suppose I never needed the answers too, but always wanting those answers, craving them. Always wanting to know about my past, my parents, the whys. They didn't deserve my constant prodding, my mistrust, even if they did have something to do with it-my forgotten memories, I should have just left it all alone.
Nothing could have prepared me for this.
I just laid there, in the water-what I thought was once water. Now I was soaking my body in the most unholy shade of crimson liquid-staring up at the ceiling-staining my porcelain skin red. There were blood smearings everywhere-slashing left and right in a chaotic, cacophony of madness, a Devil's painting. I just lay in the cooling red water, staring-unable to even blink now for fear of what might appear next-watching fingerings of blood drip down the wall-catching in the grout between the tiles, in the small floral designs in the ceramic, running down to meet me in the bath.
Where am I? Why am I here? Where am I going?
Those eyes-one red, one blue-stared down at me now. Watching me, daring me to blink, to move, to run away.
A tear slipped from my eye, running down my temple, disappearing into my hair.
I felt like I was losing my mind.
...
"...ki...uuki...Yuuki!"
I blinked.
The blood was gone. The ceiling white. The water crystal clear. And someone was pounding on the door, calling my name.
"Yuuki!" it was my father.
"es?" I cleared my throat. "Yes?" I called, clearly this time.
"You've been in there for hours. It's time to come out. Zero's been waiting to take his shower."
I stared down at the drain between my feet, reaching down into the water I pulled the plug. "Okay." I answered.
I stood, groggy. I couldn't remember getting into the bath. The last thing I remembered was my confrontation with Shiki, how he said that no one was coming to save me. I remembered feeling scared of him and then...nothing.
How could I not remember getting into the bathtub?
I shivered, wrapping my body into a soft towel.
Something wasn't right.
I passed Zero in the hallway on my way to my room. He said something to me but I didn't catch what it was. I couldn't think straight. All I could hear was a ringing sound. I felt dizzy and my head was pounding.
After I dressed into my pajamas, I got into my bed, thinking that a goodnight's sleep would surly take all this pain away.
...
It was late, so very late. I didn't bother looking over at the alarm clock. I just knew that I had been awake for far too many hours. Everyone else in the house was sound sleep. I, however, couldn't sleep. Nightmares haunted my every thought. Whenever I closed my eyes I saw them-those eyes-always watching me. Waiting. For me.
I threw back the covers, not being able to stay in this room a second longer. My room was so cold, so dark, so suffocating.
I couldn't breathe in here.
I opened the door, not caring that it smacked loudly into the wall. I ran down the stairs, almost falling twice. I was able to close the door behind me when I left the house, but I forgot to put on shoes as I ran down the cobblestone walkway that lead towards campus.
I couldn't keep my breath as I ran, arms pumping clumsily at my sides, tripping every third step, fighting hard to keep my balance, gravel digging into the soft skin of my heels, gasping loudly, begging the air to enter my lungs.
I tripped hard on my way up the steps to the Moon Dormitory's entrance, cutting deeply into my knees. Tears blurred my vision and I was gasping for air, my whole body shook violently, causing my muscles to ache.
I didn't knock when I got to Kaname's room, I just threw the door open. When I spotted him, I broke down completely. I must have looked so pathetic, standing in the doorway sobbing like a small child. But he didn't reproach me for it. He was by my side in an instant, wrapping me in a secure embrace.
"Yuuki," he crooned, voice filled with genuine concern and alarm. "What's wrong? What is it? What's happened?"
I couldn't breath in enough air to speak to him. So I just continued to cry, desperately clinging to him.
He tipped my head back so he could see my face, gently wiping my tears with his thumbs. "Shhh, Yuuki. I'm hear with you." Kaname leaned down and pressed a soft kiss against my cheek. "Just breathe now." He lifted me up then, carefully scooping me up underneath my knees. I felt something some touch my back, realizing he was lying me down in his bed.
When he leaned over me his hair spilled around his beautiful face, causing my heart to speed up. He leaned down my body, towards my ruined knees, pressing his lips against the shredded skin there. I felt the pain slowly fade to a dull ache before disappearing completely. He sat up then and gave me a small, reassuring smile. I was momentarily mesmerized by his power to heal my injury. Kaname gently stroked me cheek before leaning down to press a kiss to my forehead. "Yuuki," he whispered against my ear. "I love you."
And just like that my tears stopped completely.
And then insecurity took over.
What did he just say? Did I hear him right? Surely, he's only talking like that to make me feel better. He couldn't possibly feel that way, not about me.
"What?" I asked, sniffling, not quite sure I had heard him right.
Kaname smiled gently down at me, stroking my hair so softly. "I said that, I love you, Yuuki. Shall I tell you again?" he smiled when I blushed, pressing his lips against my warm cheek. "I love you." he whispered against my ear.
All coherent thought fled from my mind and my mouth suddenly felt so very dry. Even though I knew exactly how I felt about him, my throat closed up and I couldn't answer, never having imagined in a million years that this would happen.
"Yuuki," he whispered against my neck, pressing warm kisses to the soft skin of my throat. "why are you crying? Can you tell me what's happened?"
"I," I started. He sat up, giving me his full attention. I swallowed hard, not really sure how to do this. I decided to go with the most recent. "Shiki's been-" Kaname tensed at the mention of Shiki's name, visibly seeming angry. I cleared my throat, reaching up to fuss with a button on his shirt so I didn't have to stare into his overly intense eyes. I swallowed hard. "weird." I continued. "I think he did something to me." I whispered, feeling the tears well up in my eyes again.
If I thought he seemed mad before, then he was livid now. But he stayed quiet and waited for me to finish.
"And I've been having dreams about strange people and places that seem to make so much sense, but at the same time no sense at all. None of it makes any sense!" I started to cry again. "I haven't been sleeping, I'm so afraid of the nightmares. I can barely eat anything." Revealing this to him wasn't easy. "And sometimes the whole room with be covered in blood and-and I feel so crazy!" I probably sounded crazy too.
"I'm so sorry, Yuuki. My dear, Yuuki." Kaname said, anger dissipating to sadness. Why did he seem sad now. He pressed his forehead against mine, twisting our fingers together. "My Yuuki. I really did try to create a safe place for you to grow carefree in. But it seems I've failed, again, at protecting you."
I cupped Kaname's face between my hands, his sadness overwhelming me.
"I promised her I'd keep you safe." he whispered.
I didn't know what he was talking about-who the 'her' was that he was referring too. I wanted to ask but I wanted to take away his pain even more. Kaname was so important to me. I never wanted to see him hurting.
"I do love you, Kaname." I said, wanting to change this horrible atmosphere. "So much. I've always loved you."
"I've always been a selfish man. My whole life, I've always taken what I wanted." he went on to say, looking deeply into my eyes, making me blush at my own confession. "I don't deserve Yuuki's love." he gently touched his lips to mine, so swiftly I wasn't even sure if it had actually happened. "You've always been the light in my darkness. I'm not going to let that man have you." he whispered against my neck. "I hope that you won't resent me for this."
After Kaname said those words I felt something sharp impale the skin at my throat, right below my ear where my pulse throbbed the strongest.
I knew he just bit me.