Hello there everyone, and welcome back to Would I Lie to You, the Warrior Cats edition! I would like to point out that I own neither Warrior cats nor Would I lie to you, this is just a little mash up of the two. I do, however, recommend that you check out the real TV series, since it inspired this and is incredibly funny!
The final advertisement vanished from the screen (a particularly good one about cat food) And the image of Mapleshade grinning cheekily at the camera took its place.
"Hello and welcome back to Would I Lie to You, Warriors edition! I'm your host Mapleshade and our contestants, Tigerstar, Goldenflower, Spottedleaf and Greystripe are preparing to receive their first statements. Before we get started I'll remind you all of the game play. One cat's buzzer will light up and they'll have to read out a statement they have never seen before. The other team my question them and then decide- Truth or Lie? Whichever team has the most point, wins! So, let's get started!" Mapleshade glanced around the room and then pressed a button beneath her desk, hidden from view of the camera. A small screen appeared, showing the plan of the room and the contestants with clickable buttons.
As the camera zoomed in on each contestant in turn, Mapleshade clicked the button labelled 'Tigerstar' and then closed the screen quickly. Tigerstar's buzzer beeped and flashed wildly, making both Cinderpelt and Goldenflower jump.
"Ah, Tigerstar, do read your statement!" Mapleshade grinned.
Tigerstar fished out the note and read aloud:
"I once tried so hard to impress Sasha that I caught her a large toad. It turns out that she has a bad intolerance to them, and the night ended with her throwing up on me." Tigerstar put the card down and scowled.
Ravenpaw on the other side of the room glanced at his team mates, but as the laughter from the audience died down it became clear that he would have to make the first move.
"So, uh, Tigerstar! Could you tell us exactly what happened in more detail? Please?" He cringed.
Tigerstar growled but explained.
"Sasha was staying in the Shadowclan camp. I brought her a toad because she was pretty, and every Shadowclan she-cat I've ever flirted with likes toads. She took one look at it, threw up on me and then told me that she had a bad intolerance to toad."
"You are brief and to the point! Good good!" Mapleshade trilled, playing for extra screen time.
"Uh, how many she-cats have you flirted with in Shadowclan then?" Spottedleaf chipped in, giggling.
"As many as I wanted to. I don't count."
Silence.
"Have you spoken to Sasha since?" Greystripe tried, hoping for more elaboration.
"Yes. She had my kits." Tigerstar grunted. He didn't sound overly impressed.
"Ah…"
The awkward silence continued for a few moments more, Tigerstar's amber gaze boring into Spottedleaf, who looked ready to faint.
"So, what are you saying, truth of lie?" Mapleshade giggled, relishing the moment.
"Truth!" Ravenpaw's team called simultaneously.
"Tigerstar, will you tell us if it was true or were you lying?" Mapleshade winked at the camera.
Tigerstar hesitated, and then pressed the buzzer in front of him. The screed behind him changed colour.
"It was a lie."
"And I," Mapleshade broke into the audience applause, "Am in the happy position to be able to tell you all that all of that did really happen to a different she-cat, she-cats and toms! Tigerstar really used this wooing tactic on Goldenflower! I hope you are all writing this down!" She trilled, moving swiftly onwards before anyone could object. The audience laughed and Mapleshade selected Greystripe on her panel.
As the buzzer lit up, and Greystripe picked up his card, it became clear that he wasn't happy.
"Since Millie and I have become mates, I have secretly been spending my dreams with Silverstream and complaining about Millie's eating habits." The crowd cheered, one particular she-cat at the back cheering loudly, the one next to her sitting in stunned silence.
"Greystripe, what eating habits do you have to complain about?" Cinderpelt called over the noise.
"Uh, well, she eats with her mouth open and spits everywhere. She burps and sometimes uses her claw to pick out the remains from her teeth…" Greystripe looked at his paws in terror as an indignant squeal came from the back row.
"And do you prefer hanging out with Silverstream?" Tigerstar smirked, sounding inviting and gentle somehow.
"Oh yes, of course! Who wouldn't I mea- uh…" He stopped short, pinning back his ears, "Of course, I'm with Millie now so I can't really say…"
"You have kits with her!" Shrieked Goldenflower indignantly. "How could you!"
"I…"
"YOU LITTLE PIECE OF CHEATING FOX DUNG, HOW COULD YOU SAY THAT ABOUT YOUR LOVING, CARING MATE WHO STAYED WITH YOU THROUGHOUT ALL THE HARDSHIPS? DON'T YOU LOVE AND CARE FOR HER?! DON'T YOU WANT TO SEE YOUR KITS GROW BIG AND STRONG INSTEAD OF THROWING IT AWAY FOR POWER OR SOME STARCLAN CAT THAT YOU'LL HAVE PLENT OF TIME TO HANG WITH WHEN YOU HAVE PASSED ON? THIS SHECAT HAS TWO BEAUTIFUL KITS WHO COULD HAVE LIVED NORMAL LIVES BUT THEIR FATHER LEFT HER AND NOW HE WILL GO TO THE DARKFOREST AND SHE'LL NEVER SEE HIM AGAIN AND I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WOULD DO THAT IT IS SO DISRESPECTFUL TO THE WORLD IN GENERAL AND STARCLAN AND THE SHECAT AND MILLIE AND ME AND BRAMBLECLAW AND TAWNEYPELT AND THE WHOLE OF THUNDERCLAN WHO LOOKED UP TO YOU UNTIL YOU LEFT THEM FOR SHADOWCLAN BECAUSE YOU LOVED POWER MORE THAN YOUR FAMILY YOU… YOU… YOU…" Goldenflower ranted viciously, foam forming at the corners of her mouth. This, clearly, was a topic of great importance to her.
"Stop!" Tigerstar, amazingly, was the one who shouted. "Goldenflower, are you talking about me and you or Greystripe and Millie?"
"I, uh…" The moment had past, and a silence fell on the assembled crowd. Mapleshade blew her nose loudly, thinking about Appledusk and their failed love life.
"Goldenflower, I can keep quiet no longer," Tigerstar leaped from his chair and stood in front of Goldenflower who's chair was turned away from the desk. "I still love you dearly and I am willing to forget about Sasha and Tallpoppy and Russetfur and all the other she-cats that I have had secret affairs with if you will be my mate again!" He took in a deep breath.
"Oh Tigerstar, yes, I will!" Goldenflower, leaped into his paws and licked his muzzle. She two walked off stage, only their microphones catching the final words before they were taken off them as they left the building.
"Oh Goldniekins, I've missed you!"
"Oh Tigger-me-shnuggle-puff, I knew you still liked me! We'll have kits and a big happy family and everything!"
"Let's call our kits-" The line cut off with a crackle.
"Well then…" Mapleshade trailed off, for once not sure what to do. Greystripe clicked his buzzer.
"True!" He announced proudly. Then the song 'True Love' by P!nk blasted out from the speakers. Everyone was invited to dance and the whole room erupted into dancing cats. Appledusk, from nowhere, appeared and danced with Mapleshade who looked very pleased. Greystripe danced with Silverstream and barely noticed while Millie tangoed past with a surprised Hawkfrost and Cinderpelt boogied about the place with Ravenpaw. Spottedleaf joined a group of Medicine cats and partied. Soon, the camera panned the room a fnal time and then went onto the BBC news at 10!
Helllllooooooo! I hoped you liked this chapter! It was a bit wild, but you know… :P
Reviews!
TheIrishHill: Hello! Thank you! :D
Dark HollyLeaf: Bonjour! XD I saw it, and I love it. Too bad I can't get it.
The Legendary Falcon Fall: Oh la la! XD
Dark Hollyleaf: I'll try and use them in the next show!
Thank you for the reviews, I hope anyone who reads this enjoys!
~May Mapleshade be loved again!
