I have to thank all of you for reading and following and reviewing this story. It really means a lot to me. So, thank you all so very, very much.
Of course I hope that you will like this update as well.
Enjoy.
T73.
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Jane is groaning loudly and pulls one of her gray BPD shirts over her head as she walks to her apartment door while someone is widely knocking on it.
Not even five minutes ago, she was sitting in her black shorts and sports bra on her couch, drinking beer, watching sports and eating pizza. And tried to distract herself from the fact that Maura is out for drinks with Ben.
"All right, all right, I'm coming." She says loudly when the invader is knocking persistently. "Jesus Christ." She unlocks the door and opens it, frowning when she comes face to face with a troubled blonde. "You okay, Maura?"
"Have I been married to a serial killer and haven't noticed it," the ME asks without beating about the bush.
The detective furls her eyebrows and let Maura enter the apartment. "What happened? Did he try to harm you. I'm going to k -"
"Ben just told me the naked truth," Maura cuts her off and glances at Jane. "Have I been blind and married a murderer?"
Jane exhales through her nose and furrows her brows. "Blind? Maybe. But I am one hundred percent sure that Ben hasn't killed one of these women. Don't you think that I would have prevent you from marrying a … psychopath?"
The smaller woman nods slowly and let Jane put her into a tight hug. "Why haven't you told me what you had found out about Ben?"
The Italian kisses the side of Maura's head and frowns. "You needed to hear it from Ben yourself. I knew that you would stab him from behind even though you left him. And I knew that you would need to bear it from him so you would believe it."
Maura closes her eyes and inhales the brunette's scent deeply.
She knows that Jane is right, she wouldn't have believed it when she hadn't heard it herself.
"You're not keeping anything from me, are you?" She mumbles against Jane's shoulder.
Jane smiles and shrugs slightly. "The only thing I was keeping from you was that I love you."
Maura pulls back her head and smiles up at the taller woman.
She loves that Jane is still taller even though she is wearing heels.
Jane arches an eyebrow and smirks. "What?"
"You would tell me if you'd killed someone, right?"
The detective furrows her brows now. "Um -"
"I mean, just for fun."
"Well, I can guarantee that I shot bad guys only if I had no other choice, and I always hated it."
The blonde smiles and kisses Jane's lips gently, running her hands underneath the hem of the gray shirt.
Jane hums approvingly and deepens the kiss after a moment, pulling Maura closer. This is one of the moments she is living for and she let her hands roam over the doctor's butt.
She growls low and gives it a squeeze, and then again. She smiles a little every time when she hears Maura's breath hitching.
Maura pulls away and her pupils are more than dilated.
Jane swallows hard and frowns. "I … Do you wanna have a beer. I didn't get a new bottle of … of …" She is stuttering as the other woman starts to kiss down her neck and her eyes are rolling in the back of her head, "Jesus!"
Maura smirks and runs her tongue over the Italian's pulse point.
She always was a woman of action when she knew what she wanted, and she want to have Jane right now.
Jane swallows hard and shrugs. "We … could sit down and talk about what has happened." She suggests as she is sensing that something is bothering the smaller woman.
Maura takes a step back and sighs heavily. "I … I am sorry, Jane."
"For what," the detective asks and furrows her eyebrows. "That you are not really in the mood for having sex? I think that's something I'm gonna survive, Maura. I can go and buy a bottle of wine."
Maura runs her hands over the brunette's shoulders. "I think I'm gonna survive one night with beer instead of wine."
Jane smirks and kisses Maura once more. "Your wish is my command," she says before she makes her way to the fridge. "Do you wanna tell me what is bothering you?"
Maura is sitting down on the detective's couch and sighs heavily. "There are many things that are recently bothering me, Jane."
"All right," Jane replies as she gets an beer for Maura from the fridge. "why don't you tell me what is bothering you most?"
Maura takes the beer in her hand and stares at it for a while. "I really thought that I finally could have a normal life. You know, with a nice husband, kids and that all, and for a while it really did look like I would have it. I met a nice man who accepted me for who I am and we …" She pauses and sips her beer. "I thought that I'd deserve a normal life after what I went through and through what I put all of you through. And for a little while it really did look like I could have it."
Jane doesn't look at her and purses her lips.
All of a sudden, she is feeling like the asshole who has destroyed the perfect marriage, and it makes her feel like crap. "I didn't want to destroy your marriage," she mumbles and grit her teeth.
The words are hitting the blonde's ears and she glances with a deep frown at Jane. "You haven't destroyed it, Jane. That's not what I wanted to convey that feeling. My marriage … it failed before you admitted your true feelings for me. It was … I think at the end it was more illustration than reality."
Jane chokes on her drink and spits it almost across the whole room. She wipes her mouth with the back of her hand. "Ben and you seemed to be happy. What happened?"
The ME doesn't answer right away and smiles to herself. "Reality happened, Jane."
The Italian exhales loudly through her nose and lowers her eyebrows. "Maura."
Maura looks long at her and frowns with a sigh.
She is t really sure if she is ready to have a straight talk with the detective right now, but she knows that there will be no better moment then now.
She licks her lips and takes another swig of her beer. "Our marriage didn't work since a couple of months anymore. We really tried it, but … We distanced ourselves from each other, and it had nothing to do with the current case. We spent our evenings with each other when we weren't working, or when I wasn't with the guys and you in the Dirty Robber."
Jane is listening attentively and she notices that Maura is beat around the bush. "What happened, Maura?"
The blonde hesitates and lick her lips again and looks long into brown eyes. "I had a miscarriage, Jane. That's what happened."
Jane's heart is dropping and a deep crown is crawling upon her forehead.
She can remember that Maura has taken all of a sudden a couple of weeks a leave, and that she couldn't reach her friend for a while. And now she knows why.
She wonders why on earth Maura hasn't told her about her pregnancy and the miscarriage.
She furls her eyebrows and shifts in her seat. "Why haven't you told me about that, Maura? I would have been there for you. Have you anyone told about it?"
Maura's eyes are dropping to her lap and she lifts an shoulder. "Only Ben when I got to know that I am pregnant. We were … we decided to keep it for ourselves until the second trimester, when it would have been sewn up."
"Maura," Jane chuckles a second and becomes serious again immediately. "You can't handle a pregnancy like a finance program, something like that is unpredictable."
The ME rolls her eyes and shrugs again. "I know that too, Jane, but it gave me the feeling of being in control of the whole situation. Ben and I, we haven't planned it and it was so overwhelming, and I was scared. Just the thought of that idiotic idea calmed me down. And then …" She shrugs again and laughs briefly. "Then we'd catch the Brice case."
Jane's shoulders are slumping and she sighs heavily. "We almost closed the case when you disappeared without word and told Susie that she should keep us in the loop. And then you just were gone."
Maura nods slowly and takes a deep breath. "I needed time after the miscarriage. I tired to reach Ben, but …"
Jane's brows are shooting up and she has to suppress a deep growl as her blood starts boiling. "You were the whole time all by yourself as you lost your baby?"
Maura is closing her eyes and doesn't answer right away.
She knows that the Italian has a pretty strong sense for the family, and when it comes to those she counts to her family she can be almost merciless.
Jane sighs heavily and takes both of Maura's hands in her own, squeezing them gently.
God knows, the ME's hands are still the only ones which she don't mind touching hers. "Maura, you should have known that I'd drop everything the second you would have called, telling me about your pregnancy or not, I would've been there for you.
Maybe I would have been a little offend for the tiniest piece of a second, but it wouldn't mean anything as long as you wouldn't have been all on your own in one of the most awful moments in your life."
Maura looks into attentively brown eyes and swallows hard, a tear is trickling down her cheek. "I know, and now I feel so stupid for not telling you, Jane. I just thought … I thought that you would judge me."
"Judging you for having a baby with your husband," Jane asks and furrows her eyebrows as the blonde just shrugs and that's offending her a little bit, but now she is understanding why Maura had asked her if it would be so bad for her when she'd be carrying Ben's child as they had argued at the shooting range.
She closes her eyes and swallows her groans because she wanna kick herself because of her whole behavior that day, and because the stupid question if Maura would be present pregnant. But how the hell should she have knew about the miscarriage? It's not like it's tattooed on a woman's forehead.
"Maura, I would have been glad for you, really." She softly says as hazel eyes meets hers. "Because something like that can happen when you have a serious relationship. A pregnancy, I mean, planned or not. I was just a accident, too, just like my brothers. And I got along with them pretty well."
"They are your brothers," Maura retorts with a smile. "You had to because they're your family."
Jane is smiling, too, but then she turns immediately serious again. "You are my family too, Maura. And that baby would have become a member of the family just like you. Doesn't matter if we would have a romantic relationship or not, Maura. I can to tell you for sure that my mother would have showed off with her second grandchild just like Frankie with his second nephew of niece." She pauses and starts to grin. "And I can guarantee that I couldn't have wiped a grin like this off my face for eighteen years, though it wouldn't have been my child."
Maura sobs as she sees the sincerity in the Italian's eyes and cups Jane's cheek with her hand. "I love you, Jane."
"I love you too," the Italian says and takes a deep breath. "Come on, let's go to bed and get some rest. It was a long day."
"Yes, it was." The blonde agrees as she gets up from the couch.
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Jane's sleep is anything but restful. She is tossing and turning, and grunting every time.
Sweat is covering her forehead and every now and then she mumbles something unintelligible, and her entire musculature tense up.
Her breathing is shallow and quick as if she is chasing someone in a dream or like she would be in a dicey situation.
Exactly that's what wakes Maura, the Italian's tossing and turning, and the mumbling.
She is leaning up on her elbow and shakes Jane lightly at her shoulder, but without success. Instead, Jane whimpers like she has been hurt badly.
"Jane," she whispers and frowns when Jane doesn't react or wake up and bark at her.
Instead, Jane is clenching her fists and grits her teeth. "Maura," she whispers and makes a sobbing sound.
Maura's heart is dropping and she carefully turns Jane's face to her side. She knows that a person can be upset or scared when they are torn from their REM sleep. Sometimes they also can pull rough stuff, but she has to try to wake the detective.
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Jane isn't quite sure why she is in this office building that seems to be abandoned.
A thick layer of dust is laying over the grass-green linoleum covered floor and the door hinges are missing the doors to some of the office, cobwebs are in almost each corner.
Desk chairs are knocked over or perhaps flew through one of the high windows and the whole building is dipped into a strange shade of gray, like it would belonged into another dimension.
She is wondering why she found Maura's Prius in front of the building after she was ordered to come here, and why her girlfriend wanted to meet her here.
The entrance of the building had looked like the portal to hell, but the detective hasn't hesitate to walk right through it, though the voice in her head had yelled to turn around and leave, to come back to reality. But her heart told her that Maura would be here and that she would need her.
A cold wind is streaming through the halls and makes a howling sound in the empty corridors.
Jane's heart is pounding wildly in her chest and her blood is rushing through her ears, but her hand is at the handle of her gun, ready to draw it if she have to.
"Maura," she whispers but is met with the howling of the wind.
All of a sudden, she sees footprints in the dust and she can tell that a pair is from the ME's heels and the second is from a male.
Jane grit her teeth and draws her gun as she carefully follows the footprints until she is reaching a heavy metal door.
She licks her lips and push it open and makes a face as it creak loudly.
She enters a room with a wood paneling that loos quite expensive and bookshelves that reach the ceiling. And the room is dipped into a golden light, it almost looks like a library but there is only one big desk in the room.
She is freezing as soon as she sees Maura standing in front of a man who is having her in a headlock.
He is tall and having the face of Ben, but Jane can that it is just a mask . His body doesn't fit and the complexion is a bit darker, and he seems to be beefy.
He laughs throaty and holds an golden curved dagger to Maura's throat as soon as Jane points her Glock at him.
"Drop the spreader," she growls low and takes a step forward. "I shoot you if you hurt her."
He chuckles like a little boy and starts to drag the sharp blade over Maura's throat.
"NO!" Jane yells as soon as the blood stars to flow out of the blonde's slashed throat and she drops her gun to the floor.
He giggles and runs out of the room through a secret door.
Jane rushes to Maura as she slump to the door and tries to put as much pressure on the wound , but she knows it is a worthless attempt. She can feel how life is leaving Maura's body with every heartbeat.
"Don't leave me, Maura." She whimpers and sobs when she sees a small smile on Maura's lips. "You can't leave me alone now. Now, that you know that I love you more than my own life."
Maura is frowning and opens her mouth, but then the last spark of life is leaving her body.
"No, you can't just leave me." Jane whimpers under tears and holds the lifeless body close to her, not caring for the blood that is covering her clothes. "You are not allowed to leave me now! You hear me, Maura?"
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"No," Jane yells and jolts up from the mattress.
Maura is reacting just in time and cups the Italian's face as Jane looks horrified at her. "It's okay, it was just a dream, Jane." She says when she sees troubled brown eyes.
Panic is written all over her face, her body is tense and she is almost hyperventilating as she looks into hazel eyes. Her brain still can't understand that it was just a very vivid dream that she had. "You died, and I couldn't save you." She sobs. "I failed you."
The ME shakes her head and caresses Jane's cheeks with her thumbs. "It was just a dream, Jane. Everything is fine, honey, I am fine."
Brown eyes become unfocused and Jane furrows her eyebrows. "Ben killed you and all I could do was standing there and watch him cutting your throat."
Maura knows that the detective is coming back to her senses, but she also can see how shaken Jane is right now. That's why she isn't asking out loud what Jane means, it would be more than inappropriate, even for her.
So, instead she is laying back on the mattress slowly and is pulling Jane with her. "Come," she says and places the Italian's head on her chest so she can listen to her steady heartbeat. "listen Jane. Everything is alright, honey."
Jane is listening to the blonde's steady and strong heartbeat and frowns as a hand is running through her hair.
Maura takes a deep breath and swallows hard as soon as Jane's body is relaxing against hers. She doesn't want to know what the detective meant and in the same time, she is dying to know, but for the rest of the night she decides to put the topic to the side and closes her eyes again.
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Korsak is coming out of Cavanaugh's office the next morning as he meets the Italian in the hallway. "You okay?"
Jane runs her hand through her hair and is sighing heavily. "God morning to you, too. Why did you come out of Cavanaugh's office?"
The older man sighs and enters the walking to the coffeemaker. "He isn't very happy about the new state of development. I mean, we have thousands of potential victims outside. He told me that he has to talk to the authorities of Baltimore and Boston, and in the worst case he also have to contact the FBI."
"They just come here and take everything over," she growls and sits down on her chair. She exhales slowly through her mouth and closes her eyebrows briefly. "I wish I'd have got more sleep last night." She sees the skeptical look of Korsak and is about to defense herself as her computer starts to chime
She glances at her screen and frowns. "That has to be Frost and Frankie," she says and clicks her mouse. She furls her brows as soon as the two men pops up in a window. "Hey, guys, how's Baltimore?"
Frankie is glaring at her and huffs. "Great, can't you see my sunburn ? And how is Boston?"
"Nice as always," Korsak answers and sips his coffee. "Have you had the chance to talk to Lieutenant Kessler?"
Frost is leaning forward a little and is nodding. "Sadly, the second he has seen us , he assumed that I am Detective Rizzoli."
Jane is almost choking on her own salvia. "Are you serious?"
Her brother is huffing and her partner nods.
Korsak is snickering. "How did he react as you set the record straight?"
"Like an real ass," Frost says and frowns. "After Kessler go to know that he actually was corresponding with me, the whole time he pretend that I wouldn't be present at all."
"Kessler claimed that Ben would have been one of the most arrogant persons that he has ever talked to." Her brother states and looks directly into the camera. "And I can tell you, what we have seen on the surveillance videos of Ben's interrogations inhuman, Jane."
Frost is nodding again. "I am glad that I met him now. Ten years ago, I probably would have been suspended because I'd beat the shit out of him. I can agree with Ben that Kessler is a racist. Kessler insisted that people like Ben and me can't be anything else but criminals. Ben and his people should have stayed in their …hoods and rather should kill themselves and stay away from white, hard working people, raping and killing their women. You don't believe me? I've sent you the videos."
"Can't wait to see 'hem." Jane growls and is rubbing her left eye with the palm of her hand. "And with Ben's people he meant the Hispanic population of Baltimore?"
"You bet," Frost agrees and sighs heavily. "And his partner Hansen wasn't any better."
Jane makes a face and groans. "Kessler, Hansen. Those names remind me on TNT German serial killer who ate his victims in 19… blah blah blah."
"I think that you are meaning the German serial killer Fritz Haarmann who murdered at least twenty-four boys and young men between 1918 and 1924 in the German town Hanover."
Frankie looks at Frost and shrugs.
"Hey, Doc." Frost says laughing and raises an hand.
Maura is smiling at the computer screen. "Hello, Detective Frost, Frankie. It's nice to see the two of you."
Jane clears her throat and frowns. "Well, I don't know if I meant Fritz … Haarmann. I wasn't born in 1918 … or 1924."
Maura is rolling her eyes and the men smiles. "Fritz Haarmann became known as the Butcher of Hanover, due to the extensive mutilation and dismemberment committed upon his victims' bodies and by such titles as the Vampire of Hanover and the Wolf Man because of his proffered murder method lf biting into or through his victims' throats."
The Italian is lowering her eyebrows. "Yep, that's the dude, though I didn't know that he lived in 1920."
Maura is smiling impressed. "I am impressed that you know Fritz Haarmann."
The detective shrugs and turns the corners of her mouth downward. "I read about Fritz once in one of your historical journals."
Frost is clearing his throat and Jane turns her attention back to the screen. "Right, back to the case. So, Hansen."
"Hansen was born and raised in Stuttgart, Germany. He immigrated twenty years ago." He says.
"And then he has the nerve to judge over people with other roots?" She says low and snorts. "Oh, I wish I could switch places with you right now." She grumbles and the older man nods slowly.
Maura sighs heavily and looks at both of them. "We are not prejudging, Sergeant."
"No, we are not, Maura." Jane replies and looks with a frown at the blonde, pointing at Frost. "Because we know not every single black who walks on the street is automatically an gangbanger, or that not every Hispano is a member of a drug cartel." Now she points at Korsak and the ME. "And not every Irish is a member of the Irish mob. So, no, we are not judging."
"What about Italian," Frost is throwing in and grins.
Jane glances at him and shrugs. "You know, that's different. For us it's all about La Familglia."
All of them start to laugh for a moment.
Jane turns serious again and takes a deep breath. "Maura, for each of us it's not important were the people do come from, but what they are doing here. All of us in this room are trying to treating everyone who lives here equally. But I think we had this discussion already. And it seems like Kessler and Hansen doesn't have the same view like ours. So, yes, I am judging them for being jackasses and nothing more."
Maura looks long into brown eyes and sighs, placing an hand on the detective's shoulder. "You are right, Jane."
Jane exhales loudly through her nose and looks back at the screen. "So, Kessler has found his soul mate in Hansen."
Frankie huffs and nods once. "You can say so. They didn't let Ben go to the restroom for over thirty-six hours. He -"
Korsak is holding up an hand and gives Maura an sideglance. "I think we all know what happened to Ben, Frankie."
Frankie doesn't say anything and is nodding again.
"That's not interrogating," Jane groans and rubs her face with both of her hands. "That's torturing."
"They filled him up with soda, water and coffee the whole time," her brother adds.
She sighs once more and shakes her head. It's not the first time that she hears about idiots who call themselves cops, who humiliate a suspect just because they doesn't have the right skin color or gender.
Frost clears his throat. "Anyway, Hansen told us that Kessler and he got tipped-off."
"By whom," Korsak asks before Jane had the chance.
"By a Christopher Grady." Frost answers and frowns.
The older man looks over the rim of his glasses. "That face of yours is telling me that there is more to come."
Frankie and Frost are smirking at each other.
"It actually is a very interesting story." Frost states and opens his notepad. "Christopher Grady claimed that he would be Benjamin Payton's scorned lover. And after they had broke up, the kidnappings and killings had started in Baltimore. Chris also said that he wouldn't be surprised when Ben would've killed those women to prove himself that he is totally straight."
Maura scoffs and shakes her head. "This is nonsense. I can tell you with absolute certainty that Ben is not gay."
Jane clears her throat and looks briefly at the blonde.
She really doesn't want to imagine Maura and Ben in a bedroom, in a bed, not sleeping. She swallows hard. "Um, yeah. Frost, had you have the chance to talk to Chris Grady?"
"Nope," Frankie answers and furls his eyebrows. "Christopher Grady is nowhere to be found. He disappeared right after Ben moved to Boston."
Jane is arching an brow. "Well, that's interesting."
"We go and see Chris' Family right after our little chat," Frankie announces.
Jane nods and looks up at Korsak. "Yeah, and we go and talk to Cavanaugh. Hopefully he gives his okay that we wanna invite our colleagues from Baltimore over here. Of course we gonna give them the same treatment like they gave Ben."
Korsak chuckles and nods approvingly.
Frost is smirking and leans a bit forward. "I'm sure they will be more than glad to finally meet the leading detective in this case."
"See ya, guys." Jane laughs before she ends the connection and looks proudly at the ME. "So, what brought you up, Doc?"
Maura licks her lips and hands the detective an folder. "I got the results of Nancy Dern's tox screen back. There was Fentanyl in her system, and she was strangled more than once."
The Italian frowns deeply and looks long at Maura. "Fentanyl, that's stronger than morphine."
The ME is nodding approvingly. "Yes, Fentanyl is approximately 80 to 100 times more potent than morphine and roughly 40 to 50 more potent than pharmaceutical grade heroin."
Korsak furls his eyebrows and looks long at the two women. "The killer in Baltimore and ours kept his first victim hostage for a couple of weeks. And after they got murdered, the victims piled up. What if the first victims tried to play along, you know, to survive."
Jane is nodding slowly and shrugs. "Yeah. Yeah, that would explain a lot. Maybe they also suffered from the Stockholm syndrome."
"Stockholm syndrome is a psychological phenomenon in which hostages express empathy and sympathy and have positive feelings toward their captors, sometimes to the point of defending and identifying with the captors." Maura states and looks at each of the detectives.
"Maybe Jill was just faking her sympathy for her kidnapper to keep him away from other women, and he saw right through her and killed her." Korsak retorts.
The doctor raises briefly her eyebrows. "That's quite possible. Jill rather sacrificed herself to save another life."
"That sounds stupid," Jane grumbles and is chewing on the nail of her pinky.
Maura is looking at the Italian and furls her eyebrows. "That sounds pretty much like you."
"Yeah, but I get paid for risking my life and I like to do my job because I know what I'm doing."
"Really? Do you?"
Korsak is rolling his eyes and walks to the coffeemaker with a huge smile.
Even a blind man would see that there is going on more between the two women than just friendship and he is glad that even they finally realized it.