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So far the two most "favorited" stories are Even the Whitest Rose, and The Song that calls me Home.
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After buying a paper, I called Alaric.
Stefan answered, so I didn't have to actually speak to the Alpha.
I asked him to tell Ric that I was with Damon, and I'd convinced him that now wasn't the time to go after Enzo's killer.
Instead, we were taking inventory of the damage from the night of the rave.
Of course, I didn't mention that we'd be tracking down Enzo's killer later.
It was all a matter of interpretation.
I wasn't actually lying.
Really.
Then I told him what I knew about Trevor, and what we might be dealing with.
He promised to pass the news on.
Mystic Fall's had a few restaurants around, but the Mystic Grill was the only one worth eating at.
As we walked into the Grill, the entrance bell dinged, and a few people turned.
A knowing look crossed most of their faces.
I may have looked vaguely familiar, but it was Damon they recognized.
In a town this small, a guy who looked like him stood as much chance of going unnoticed as his convertible did in the local parking lot.
Damon didn't particularly like the attention.
To him, his curse was his face, not his werewolf blood, despite the help it had been in his youth to capture the attention of the females he'd so willingly used.
But beyond the sex, Damon had wanted nothing more than to fade into the background of human life.
I think he would have even gotten rid of the car, if he didn't love the damned thing so much.
Still, Damon was lucky in Mystic Falls.
Even if his fast car and good looks turned heads, no one bothered him as they would have in the city.
The men were intimidated enough to stay away, and he was now exempted from any undesired female attention by the silver band he wore on the fourth finger of his left hand.
This town being the kind of place where a wedding ring still meant you were off-limits to the opposite sex.
Not that it was actually a "wedding" ring, persay.
His ring was one of a matching pair we'd bought years ago, when we had first gotten engaged.
Before the small matter of a bite on my hand had shattered the whole wedding bliss and happily ever after thing.
But the fact that no marriage took place didn't matter to Damon.
The ceremony itself was irrelevant, a meaningless human ritual he'd been willing to do for my sake.
The underlying commitment was what mattered to him.
The idea of a life partner, a mate, was something the wolf in him recognized, and wanted.
Call it marriage or mating or whatever you will.
So he wore the ring, keeping it on long after I'd removed my own.
I'd never challenged the fact, because fighting Damon on any matter just wasn't worth it, if it was something that I could live with.
Which I could.
It didn't matter to me if he wanted to wear the ring.
He loved me, I knew that, in his own twisted way, he really did.
His ring was a symbol of that love, so it didn't surprise me that he'd kept it.
It was easy to dismiss the act as another fantasy of his delusion-plagued brain.
It was when he'd introduce me as his wife that things could get a bit ugly.
Even if it was a convenient cover story, I hadn't been able to stand for it.
I wasn't Damon's wife, and he'd made sure that I never would be.
Unfortunately for me, wolves were a species that mated for life, and once we loved, that was it for us.
Damon wore the ring, because he'd never love another female, so long as I was alive.
Just as I could never truly move on.
But, unfortunately for him, my anger at what he had done was stronger than the devotion my wolf felt for him as my mate.
I shrugged off my thoughts, feeling thankful tad the Grill was fairly empty today, and we were able to settle into a booth without too many lingering stares.
I combed through the paper, as Damon ordered us coffee from the waitress that had come over.
I was finished by the time she returned with them.
"Nothing?" Damon asked.
"Nothing," I confirmed.
"So, a waste of time."
I shook my head, "It's good that there's nothing. It's what we were hoping for. So, no, it wasn't a waste to make sure."
He rolled his eyes.
I ignored the fact, "Just keep an ear out, alright? Someone may still know something."
He nodded, but didn't say anything else.
After a few minutes I grew annoyed with the chatter of the people around us.
Most were complaining about something.
Spouses, jobs, kids, in laws, financial issues.
Pointless things.
I wanted to shout at them.
If you don't like your life, give it to me!
I'll take it and I'll never complain.
Growing up, I'd been haunted by the thought of what could have been.
Jenna did her best, and I'll always love her for it, but she'd never wanted to be a parent.
She wasn't my mom.
She'd never really even treated me like a daughter.
More like a younger sibling she was supporting, until I was able to survive on my own.
I'd always fantasized about what life could have been like if my parents had lived.
Would I have had siblings?
Family vacations, holidays?
When I grew out of the self-pity stage, I realized that missing these things in my childhood didn't mean I had to miss them forever.
I could give myself a family when I grew up.
It didn't even have to be the traditional husband, three kids, a dog, and a white picket fence.
Any variation would do.
As an adult, I could provide myself with everything life had cheated me of.
Then, on the very breach of adulthood, I became a werewolf.
My plans for the future vanished in that moment.
I could make a life for myself in the human world, but it would never be what I had imagined.
No husband.
Living with someone was risky enough, and I could never be myself with them.
I knew, deep inside, that it could never really work out.
There was too much of me that could never be shared.
No children.
There was no record of a female werewolf giving birth, obviously, but even if I was willing to take the risk, I could never subject a child to the possibility of life as a werewolf.
So, no husband, no children, and without either, no hope for a family or a home.
All of that stripped away, as far beyond my reach as they'd been the night I was orphaned.
Damon was watching me, eyes troubled. "You okay?"
He reached out for me by sliding his leg forward to touch mine, and continued to study my face.
I turned to look at him.
As I met his eyes, I wanted to shout at him, say that I was not okay, that he had made sure I would never be okay again.
I was supposed to be able to grow up normal, decide when to get married, when to start a family...I was supposed to have a lifetime of those choices.
He'd stolen all my dreams and hopes of any of it in one act of unforgivable selfishness.
I yanked my leg from his and looked away.
"Elena?" he said, leaning over the table, "Are you okay?"
"No. I'm not okay," I spat.
Then, I stopped myself.
What good would it do to say more?
We were here to hunt Enzo's killer, not to hash out our personal problems.
It wasn't the time.
Part of me knew it would never be the time.
Because, if we ever actually talked about it, we might work it out.
That was a risk I wasn't willing to take.
I didn't want to forget and I didn't want to forgive.
I wouldn't let myself.
Because fixing things with Damon would mean surrender.
It would mean he'd won.
That biting me had been worth the trouble.
He'd have his mate, the life partner of his choice, everything he'd wanted when risking my life to get it.
Well, I had my own dreams, and Damon no longer held a role in them.
Right now, I would focus on the Pack.
I'd make sure they were safe.
Because no matter how angry I was, Damon's death would still destroy me.
I knew that.
Same with Mason, Stefan, Tyler...they were my boys.
I couldn't let anything happen to them.
And of course, we all wanted to protect our Alpha.
But werewolf or not, I could try to have some normalcy, once this was all over.
I'd made a good life for myself.
I had a decent man, someone who saw and encouraged my potential for goodness and normalcy.
Things Damon never saw, didn't care about, and certainly never encouraged.
Maybe marriage, kids, and a house in the suburbs weren't in my future, but, as I said, any variation would do.
With Matt, I could envision a satisfying variation, with a partner, a home, and an extended family in Caroline and our other friends.
Of course, eventually my non aging would become a problem.
But I had years before that was a real issue.
I could have a piece of happiness until then.
Once all this nightmare had ended.
"No," I repeated, refocusing, "I'm not 's dead and his killer is out there, and I'm stuck here, sitting in this booth with-" I bit back the rest with a sigh.
"We're supposed to be listening for rumors, remember?" I scolded him, "Be quiet and listen."
I forced my attention back to the conversations around us.
People were still bitching about their lives, but I ignored that and concentrated on listening for what I wanted to hear.
Nothing important stood out.
I reminded myself that this was a good thing.
As I strained my ears, I caught the sound of Damon's name, and listened closer.
It had come from a few teenage girls by the door.
"-yeah, up at the Salvatore Manor."
"He's hot."
"I think he's married to the brunette though."
"You think?"
"Sure. Do you see the way he looks at her? Plus, he's wearing a ring."
"She's not. Besides look at their body language...those two are definitely on the outs-"
"Speaking of bodies..."
I shook my head away from the sounds of their giggling, "I'm not getting anything."
Damon crooked his head, "Really? So you didn't pick up on the fact that I have an admirer, over by the door?"
I glanced over at the group of girls, who dropped their eyes as our gazes met.
I sized them up.
"Young and innocent, probably have a tendency to be overly trusting, naive, and look, one is even a brunette...just your type," I turned back to him, "Have fun."
He gave me a dirty look, "Maybe some other time. Right now, we have more important things to worry about."
I nodded, letting the conversation drop.
Damon pulled out some cash for the check, and placed it on the table.
We were just about to leave, when the same man from the other day entered.
The hunter, who'd been on our property.
He sat down with some buddies that had apparently been waiting on him.
I decided to eavesdrop, and from Damon's stiffness, he had too.
"Any word from Ray?"
"Not yet, you?"
"Last I heard, he was heading up to the Boarding House. To talk to Salvatore."
"Yeah, I'm sure that's a coincidence."
"Well, he's over there, if you wanna ask him about it."
"Yeah, maybe I will..."
"Hey, you," he called to Damon as he stood, louder now, and he walked over.
I tensed at his tone, "We were just leaving."
"Not so fast," he put a hand up.
"What do you want?" Damon drawled.
"You remember Ray Sutton?"
Damon pretended to consider that, "Oh, right...the man who couldn't control his dog. Or his gun."
"Yeah, well, he hasn't been heard from in awhile. Apparently, he said he was gonna head up to your property. Make things square. Now, no one can get in touch with him. I don't know about you, but that seems strange to me."
Damon bared his teeth, at the obvious implement.
I intercepted, "We haven't seen him since the day we found that boy's body."
"But if he shows up," Damon stated harshly, "Let him know that I'd be happy to make things square."
He brushed past the man, ushering me towards the door, but the guy grabbed his shoulder.
"We aren't finished."
Damon shoved the guy off, easily, "Yeah, we are."
I was impressed by his restraint, as he turned to walk away.
Unfortunately, the guy seemed to have a death wish.
He drew his fist back, to take a swing at Damon's head.
I intercepted, catching the punch, as he swung.
He froze, shocked by my strength.
Damon had paused too, turning to see what had happened.
"Don't make things worse," I hissed at the guy, "We are all worked up over the murders, but the wolf has been killed. We'll keep an eye out for your friend."
I dropped his hand then, and he rubbed his wrist.
Satisfied, I turned back to Damon, who was smirking.
He placed an arm around my shoulder as we walked out the door.
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