Hey guys! Thanks for all the reviews! We are so close to 400! :)

Love ya'll!

Yes, the last chapter was very sad, especially for Damon, and things will certainly get interesting coming up.

Elena will have to make a choice, one she's been struggling with that is a lot deeper than just "Matt or Damon?"

She has to decide who she wants to be, what she's willing to give up, and face the consequences of those choices.

It makes it hard to sympathize with her, because we all love Delena lol

But she still has some developing to do.

Hope ya'll enjoy!

Morning came way too early, mostly due to the fact that I'd barely gotten any sleep the night before.

Not that it's any surprise, given the situation I was about to be in.

But I could only blame myself.

Did I really think giving into my feelings for Damon wouldn't have repercussions?

Maybe it was a fool's hope.

But I couldn't help it.

It's as if two of me were fighting in my heart, one wanting Matt and the normal life that New York promised, and the other...the wolf, unable to refuse her mate, her Pack, and once again, I'd let her win.

So I'd just have to deal with the consequences of the choices I've made like a big girl.

However, that didn't stop the nerves from coiling in my stomach, as Damon and I rode to my apartment from the airport, neither of us exchanging words.

The same silence had been clouded over us the entire plane trip.

I inwardly cursed Alaric for insisting Damon come along.

This had bad idea written all over it.

We reached my apartment as fast as we could, with the Manhattan traffic.

Damon was shaking his head as we reached the building and climbed out of the cab.

"You traded Mystic Falls and all its freedom, for this?"

I rolled my eyes, "I traded it for my freedom, or did you forget?"

Damon didn't comment, and I smiled at the doorman, who immediately recognized me.

Stepping into the elevator, I hit the button for the 12th floor.

Damon scoffed again, but at least he kept his thoughts to himself.

We reached my apartment door, and I exhaled, before unlocking it, and letting Damon inside.

Nothing much had changed since I'd left, not even the dishes had had time to pile.

But thankfully, we were met with silence.

Damon's eyes were scanning the room.

Either to assess his surroundings, or silently judge my new life, it didn't matter.

We would be gone soon.

"I'm going to go grab some clothes," I told him, "Don't touch anything."

He nodded, so I walked back to the bedroom.

Matt's scent was stronger here, and the bed was still unmade.

I smiled a little at the little crime that I never would have allowed, had I been home.

I kept our place spotless, so I was never reminded too much of Mystic Falls, or the Salvatore Manor, where my boys could dirty any surface in two seconds flat.

I sighed.

What was I even running from anymore?

Despite the need to hurry, I sat on the edge of the bed, and grabbed Matt's pillow.

He was a great guy.

Perfect, really.

But I was being so unfair to him.

I knew that we could never have a future together.

I knew that I would never love him the way that I had loved Damon.

And I knew that I could never be myself.

I was selfish.

And because of that selfishness, Matt, and Caroline were now in danger.

What else would it take for me to learn my lesson?

The life I'd made here, the thought that I could actually get away from the wolf inside me...it was a joke.

I was never going to be the girl that I was pretending to be here.

It had to end.

Blinking back a threatening tear, I grabbed some clothes from my dresser, and threw them into my bag, my mind turning.

Matt didn't deserve the pain, but I didn't know how to avoid that.

As the options ran through my head, I heard a noise.

I stopped cold.

The jingle of keys in the door.

Matt.

I heard him before I saw him, "Uh, who are you?"

Shit!

I'd nearly forgotten Damon was waiting in the living room.

I braced myself, and hurried out, "Matt."

I entered the room, as he turned around, "Elena? What are you doing back?"

He pulled me into his arms, "Not that I'm not thrilled."

I forced a smile, "A work thing. Caroline called."

"Ah," Matt nodded, knowing all too well how persistent our friend could be.

As he let me go, his eyes flickered to Damon.

I tensed, waiting for the inevitable bomb.

"Oh, right, um, Damon, this is Matt. Matt, this is-"

"Her cousin," Damon answered stiffly, his eyes on mine, "Damon Salvatore."

"As in the Salvatore Manor," Matt nodded.

Damon seemed uncomfortable with the fact that he knew that.

"Exactly."

"Oh...so did you fly in with Elena, or..."

"He's interviewing," I answered quickly, "As a professor for NYU. We were just about to go get him a hotel."

"Nonsense," Matt shook his head, "He can stay here. There's no need to pay for-"

"Is fine," I rushed out, "Really, it is. I don't think he wants to stay here, and besides, the couch isn't that big, I doubt he'd even fit."

I gave Damon a hard look, and he just shrugged, then he slowly moved away from us, towards the couch, and sat down.

He tossed his legs up, and crossed his arms behind his head, "Couch is fine."

Asshole.

I shot him a warning glance, but had to sigh, when Matt grinned, "So it's settled then. You'll stay here."

I groaned internally.

"We have to go back to Mystic Falls tomorrow though," I told Matt, "Things are still really crazy with the family."

Matt nodded, "How long do you think it'll take?"

I knew what he was really asking.

When are you coming home?

I swallowed.

"I'm not sure."

Because I knew what I needed to do, what the right thing was.

I just couldn't do it right now...it wasn't fair to him.

I began to breathe a little easier as the evening passed without much incident.

True to his word, Damon behaved himself, mostly.

There were a few times that I had to shoot him a kick.

Like when Matt proudly showed him the art pieces I'd chosen for the hallway, for their vibrant colors.

"I don't know," Damon had said, "I think it relates more to the darkness hidden within. The streaks of color here, twisting into them, trying to be something they're not."

Matt had seemed impressed, but I glared at Damon.

I knew what he was doing.

I knew it, and I didn't like it.

Dinner came around, before I realized how little we'd eaten all day.

I suggested we order out.

Nothing in our fridge would do anything for Damon's appetite.

A point his scowl had proven as he'd opened it earlier to grab some water, and noticed the health food.

Our burgers came within the hour, and thankfully, Matt didn't comment when I ordered two for both Damon and myself.

We ate in silence, the TV on low in the background.

Matt finished his garden burger, then watched in amusement as Damon and I scuffed down our double meat, bacon deluxes, then fought over the remaining fries.

I won, finishing them off.

Damon pretended to pout, so naturally, like the mature, responsible werewolf I was, I stuck my tongue out at him.

He smirked, but accepted his defeat with dignity.

Matt watched us, "It's pretty obvious that you two have spent a lot of time together, though I'm surprised, Elena usually doesn't eat this big a dinner."

"Maybe it's the turkey bacon," Damon smirked, then looked at me, "Back home, she can't get enough of the real thing."

I kicked him under the table, but he only winked.

Matt seemed to notice something was off, and changed the topic.

"So, uh, Damon, what do you do for work?"

Damon smirked again, "I'm in law enforcement at the moment."

I winced at the joke, "But lately, he's been trying to get back into teaching," I span my previous story.

It wasn't a complete lie.

Damon had given a few seminars over ancient myths at local colleges.

Alaric also taught on occasion, to keep the money flowing to the Manor.

"Law enforcement," Matt caught, "Nice. I'm on the force as well. NYPD."

Damon gave a brisk nod, "Well the work I do is more singular. Private clientele."

I stood before he could throw out any more hints, "Anyone still hungry? I think there's some frozen yogurt in the fridge, why don't we-"

"No, I'm good," Damon told me, "But I won't say no to a drink."

"I think I have some beer in the fridge," Matt offered, standing to go get it.

Damon smiled politely, until Matt disappeared.

I turned on him then, "Law enforcement? Really, Damon?!"

"What?" He asked innocently.

"Look, I'm not exactly having the best time either, you know. Can we just get through this, please?"

Damon sighed, "Fine. But you can't expect me to just sit here while-"

"Yes, I can," I interrupted, "Please. I didn't ask for this, alright."

"You asked for this the night you followed me back to bed," he hissed, quietly.

I flinched, mostly because he was right.

I'd been riding a proverbial fence ever since I'd returned home.

Torn between what I wanted, and what felt right.

He sighed, when I didn't answer, "Look, I'm sorry, kitten, I didn't mean-"

"I know," I swallowed the lump in my throat, "I'm sorry too."

Matt chose that moment to walk back in, holding two beers in his hands.

The tension in the room didn't seem to go unnoticed.

"Everything okay?"

"Fine," Damon and I muttered at the same time, doing the exact opposite of reassuring Matt of that fact.

I didn't want to wait around for more questions, though.

Not knowing I'd have to break Matt's heart.

Not with Damon watching me the way he does every time I move…

I just needed a moment alone.

"I'm going to go get ready for bed," I stated, excusing myself, after sending Damon a hard, don't-do-anything-stupid look.

Then I found my way down the hall, through the bedroom, and into the adjoining bathroom.

A hot shower was exactly what I needed to clear my mind.

I'd just have to trust that Damon wouldn't kill Matt in the meantime.

Of course he wouldn't, I told myself, as I turned on the water and undressed.

The warmth felt good on my skin, but even that comfort, combined with my thoughts, couldn't distract me from what I was trying to avoid.

The truth.

I sank to the floor of the shower, and forced myself to be honest.

Completely honest.

There were two men, just a room over, that loved me...and I loved them, both.

However, I was only in love with one of them.

Matt was absolute perfection as a boyfriend, but he just wasn't Damon.

As badly as I wanted him, and this life...there was no future in it.

I needed my Pack, my life in Mystic Falls.

But Damon...how could I even begin to forgive him.

I loved him so much, too much, and I hated him in equal measure.

He took everything from me, risked killing me, and nothing could ever change that.

But when he and I are around one another...it's like fire.

An electric explosion in my veins that makes me feel more alive than ever.

It would be so easy to be happy with him, if I was willing to let him win.

But I wasn't, not yet, and Matt deserved to be more than just a consolation prize.

No matter what I chose to do about Damon, I had to let Matt go.

I had to talk to him, and explain the best I could why we couldn't be together.

But it could wait until after the Pack took care of the Mutts.

After the danger was eliminated, and I could really talk to him.

The idea was already breaking my heart, but it had to be done.

Or I was just as selfish as Damon.

With my mind set, I got out of the shower, and made my way into the bedroom to get dressed.

I threw on a simple night set, and returned to the bathroom to began towel drying my hair.

I'd almost finished when the door opened, and Matt stepped inside.

"I shut everything down," he told me, "And I gave your cousin a blanket from the closet in the hall."

I nodded, looking up at him, in the mirror, "Thank you."

He walked up behind me then, his arms slipping around my waist, "I missed you."

I smiled kindly, "Me too."

He dropped a kiss to my neck, sucking a little as he went, and I sighed.

"Matt," I turned around.

"What's wrong?" he asked, legitimately concerned.

I bit my lip, thinking of Damon, who was within perfect hearing distance.

"We can't," I said, quietly.

He seemed to notice the glance I threw at the door.

Realization dawned on him, and he nodded, "Right. Of course. Your cousin…"

Cousin.

Right.

"Elena, are you sure everything's okay?" he stroked my cheek.

I nodded, forcing another half smile, "Of course. I'm just tired."

He accepted this easily enough, and moved to pull back the blankets on the bed.

We crawled beneath them, and I clung to my side of the mattress.

Matt reached a hand over, to rest on my hip, but didn't try to pull me to him.

I closed my eyes, as he turned off the lamp, and prayed that morning would come soon, as I fought the urge to go crawl into the arms I really wanted around me.

The next chapter will pick up directly with some Delena stuff, and some twisty drama :)

Let me know what you think! :)

I'll try to keep updating regularly, but I just started a new job, so it might be a little slower.