"hey, you there?" Sans asked, though no one seemed to be around. The skeleton stood in an icy cavern, the faint glow of bioluminescent mushrooms casting everything in a blue hue. An aged, worn wooden door stood before him, closing him off from the ancient ruins of old. If anyone had happened upon him just then, they'd likely think he was crazy for standing there in the middle of nowhere, talking to a door. They'd then have to wonder if they themselves were crazy, as a voice actually answered him.

"Yes, I am." Came the soft voice of a woman from the other side of the door.

"good. i got kind of a weird question for ya, so bear with me… will you remember me in a year?"

There was a brief pause before the woman answered somewhat hesitantly.

"Of course I will."

"will you remember me in a month?"

"Well, if I remember you in a year, of course I'll remember you in a month." She replied with a chuckle, and Sans could practically picture her shaking her head at his ridiculousness.

"will you remember me in a week?"

"Sans, what are you trying to get at with all this?"

"knock knock."

There was a soft sigh.

"Who's there?"

"see, ya forgot me already!"

The woman behind the door then burst into a fit of adorable giggles. Sans let a triumphant grin spread across his face, quite proud of himself for that one. It had been a while since he'd been able to come out here and talk to his mysterious friend, and he'd been sorely missing her lately. After all, where else could he get a captive audience like this?

"You haven't been coming around here like you used to. I was starting to worry that you'd grown tired of me."

Sans's grin faded slightly at that. Well, now he kind of felt like an ass for staying away for so long. He could never get tired of talking to her, and the mere fact that he'd made this sweet lady think as much was enough to break his heart.

"no, of course not. i've just been dealing with a lot of distractions lately. i'm, uhh…" he paused for a moment, a slight tint of blue coloring his cheeks as he scratched at the back of his head. "i'm gonna be an uncle pretty soon."

"Oh my goodness! That's excellent news!" she squealed out. "I had no idea! I mean, you never mentioned that your brother had a partner."

"w-well, he… he doesn't, really…" Sans admitted slowly. "it kinda happened by mistake, so we're not sure who the father is. papy ain't talkin' on that front."

"Now, now," she scolded in an almost motherly tone. "When it comes to children, there are no 'mistakes.' There are only happy little accidents."

Sans couldn't help but let a small smile creep back across his face at that one. That was a cute way to put it.

"So, in that case, how is your brother feeling about all this?"

"he's… well, i've told ya plenty of stories about papyrus. you know how he is by now. he was as surprised as any of us at first, but he's really growin' to like the idea of havin' a kid. i just hope he's up to the task, y'know? he can be pretty naïve sometimes."

"Oh, I don't think you have anything to worry about. He might not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but from what you've told me, it's clear he has a big heart. I think he'll make a great parent, especially if he's got a supportive big brother like you to help him."

Sans let out a chuckle that was almost bashful.

"yeah, i guess you're right. thanks." He replied. Then, a thought struck him. "hey, you like kids, right?"

An amused chuckle could be heard from behind the door.

"'Like' them? I absolutely adore children."

"well, how about this; after my nephew's born, why don't i bring him up here sometime? maybe i'll even find a way to knock this damned door down so you can hold him. sound like a plan?"

There was a long moment of silence after that, and Sans could feel his grin beginning to falter on him again. Had he overstepped a boundary somehow? Finally, she answered, but her voice was small and trembling slightly.

"I… I'd love that. Thank you."

"hey, no problem. anything for a friend." He paused, and again he could feel the tension stretching between himself and his friend behind the door. He let out a small sigh. "sorry to cut this short, but i gotta be heading back now. i left papyrus all cooped up alone at the sentry station and i'm sure he's going nuts with boredom by now. i gotta keep an eye socket on the big idiot so he doesn't run off and do something stupid before the kid is born."

"Alright. It was nice hearing from you again. Don't be a stranger, and be sure to tell Papyrus I said 'congratulations!'"

Sans was back at the sentry station in no time at all. Sure enough, Papyrus looked as impatient as ever, his leg bouncing lightly where he sat, a single digit tapping against the surface counter he'd leaned his elbows against. When he caught sight of his elder brother approaching, his eyes immediately narrowed into an annoyed glare.

"WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG?! I COULD HAVE EASILY PATROLLED THE EAST SECTOR IN A QUARTER OF THE TIME YOU TOOK, IF ONLY YOU'D LET ME!" he grumbled, throwing his arms across his chest as he sat back in his chair with a huff. Sans shook his head, letting out a sigh as he took a seat in the chair next to his brother's.

"no can do, bro. you can't be on your feet for so long. besides, this ain't such a bad gig, is it? you pretty much get a nine-month free pass to lounge around do nothin'! sounds like a dream vacation to me." he replied coolly, emphasizing the sentiment by leaning his chair back onto its hind legs and propping his feet up on the counter in front of him.

"BUT I HATE DOING NOTHING! I FEEL AS THOUGH SITTING HERE FOR TOO LONG IS GOING TO TURN ME INTO A COMPLETE LAZYBONES JUST LIKE YOU! REALLY, SANS, AT LEAST ONE OF US HAS TO BE RESPONSIBLE AROUND HERE!"

"yeah, well, be responsible after ya have the kid. undyne said she'd let ya keep comin' out here lookin' for humans only as long as ya follow all of dr. alphys's orders. That means you sit yer bony butt down and relax, capiche? let me do the walkin' around for a while."

Papyrus opened his mouth to argue the point further but, after making a few small noises of dissatisfaction with the situation at hand, he gave up and slumped back in his seat a bit. Sans felt bad about keeping his little brother cooped up in this small stand all day, he really did, but what else could he do? Papyrus simply refused to give up hunting for humans, despite his current impaired condition. He just couldn't let go of that silly dream of his to be allowed into the Royal Guard.

Sans's eyes drifted downward, coming to a stop where the lanky skeleton's hand rested gently against his abdomen. The bulge underneath had already gotten big enough to show through even that thick sweater of his. Well, there was no hiding it now. Even the last few remaining monsters in the village who'd assumed Alphys's infamous announcement had just been a joke would know the truth by know. Not that he cared anymore. Let people whisper all they want. There were far more important things in life than a reputation, like his brother. And his nephew.

Strange… When had he began thinking of the unborn child as his nephew and not as his reborn father? It was probably Undyne's fault, he thought. Ever since they found out that Papyrus was pregnant, she'd slipped right into the role of mother hen. She was around almost constantly, and when she wasn't watching Papyrus like a hawk to make sure he was doing as he'd been told, she was up his ass, constantly badgering him about what he should be doing to help out and be a 'better uncle.' Who knew all of that talk would actually get him thinking differently? It actually made him a little more nervous about the whole situation… and a little more excited as well.

Suddenly, Papyrus drew in a sharp gasp, sitting stiffly upright with an expression on his face as though someone had just dropped an ice cube down the back of his shorts. Sans was quite familiar with the expression, and one didn't need to be a genius to know why. Thus, the normal reaction from the shorter skeleton would have been to burst out laughing, possibly even to the point where he'd fall back in his chair. This time, however, he was in no laughing mood, especially since the hand that had previously rested gently over the bump in Papyrus's abdomen now clutched tightly at the fabric stretched over it.

"h-hey, what's wrong?! are you okay?!" Sans nearly shouted, jumping to his feet as a wave of icy panic washed over him, absolutely terrified that something might be wrong with the baby. Fortunately, Papyrus didn't exactly look like he was in pain. He just looked extremely confused, and maybe a bit uncomfortable.

"I… I DON'T KNOW… I-IT JUST FELT REALLY WEIRD…" he replied hesitantly, looking to his brother with worry and a touch of desperation in his eyes, as if expecting him to explain what was going on with him. Sans would have liked something a bit more descriptive than 'it felt weird,' but he wasn't about to waste time fishing for more at the moment. He slipped a hand under his brother's sweater, feeling for any cracks in the barrier or anything else that might have caused such a reaction. He'd have preferred to look with his eyes, but he didn't want to expose the barrier to the cold wind of the perpetual winter of Snowdin. Still, there were no cracks, and the flow of magic within seemed to be holding strongly enough. What on Earth could have happened? Then, he felt something. Papyrus gave another startled jump under his touch.

"TH-THERE! IT HAPPENED AGAIN!" he whined, looking to his elder brother for answers. Sans could only stare for a long moment, unable to believe what it had turned out to be. He released the breath he'd been holding in a big sigh of relief, pulling his hand out from under Papyrus's sweater and flopping back down in his chair.

"it's just the baby kicking, you bonehead! jeez, i swear, if i had veins, you'd have given me a frickin' aneurism by now…" he grumbled, slightly perturbed that his brother had made such a big deal out of something so simple. Then again, he preferred that be the case rather than it having been something truly bad. Rather than join the smaller skeleton in his relief, Papyrus seemed somewhat put off by this revelation.

"KICKING? HOW RUDE! WHAT DID I EVER DO TO HIM TO DESERVE GETTING KICKED? AND FROM THE INSIDE, TOO!"

"he's not really doing it on purpose. he's just stretchin' his legs a bit, y'know? that's supposed ta happen. you should be happy. it means he's doin' okay."

"HMPH! WELL, HE CAN FIND ANOTHER WAY OF LETTING ME KNOW HE'S OKAY THAT DOESN'T INVOLVE ME GETTING KICKED IN THE SPINE!" Papyrus then turned his attention down to his own abdomen. "INFANT, YOU LISTEN TO ME! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WILL NOT TOLERATE SUCH INSOLENCE FROM MY OWN CHILD! I ORDER YOU TO CEASE THIS UNSETTLING SQUIRMING OF YOURS IMMEDIATELY!"

He folded his arms across his chest and nodded decisively at that, as though that settled the matter. Of course, not five seconds later, the lanky skeleton gave a tell-tale flinch. Rather than fly off the handle like he would if it had been Sans 'deliberately' disobeying him, he let out an exhausted grumble, slumping back in his seat and giving the ceiling of the sentry station a withering glare.

"IT FIGURES… I HAVEN'T EVEN HAD THE BABY, YET HE'S ALREADY REACHED THE REBELLIOUS PHASE…"

Sans couldn't help but let out an amused chuckle at that one. He knew his brother wasn't really all that upset about it, he just had to make a drama out of everything. He would get used to the baby's kicking in time. Honestly, Sans felt a little bad for leaving out that particular bit of information when he was explaining everything to Papyrus. There were so many more important things he had to make sure his brother understood that it had completely slipped his mind to warn him that the baby could move around before it was born. Oh well. He supposed, in retrospect, it had been pretty funny after all.

Sans had managed to convince Papyrus to head home shortly after that. He'd have normally insisted on staying until the absolute maximum amount of time currently allowed by Undyne, but it seemed the relative excitement of the day had been enough to wear him down a little. Sans made sure they took their time, not wanting to rush his brother at all as they trudged through the thick snow. Though, perhaps he took a little longer than he should have. When they reached the house, they found that Undyne was already standing outside their door. Judging from the long trench of compacted snow that had been formed in front of the stoop, it was pretty clear that she'd been waiting there for a while.

"There you two nerds are! D'ya have any idea how long I've been waiting here for you?! I was almost gonna send a search party out lookin' for ya!" the sea sprite berated fiercely, though Sans couldn't help but notice she was glaring mostly at him.

"hey, it's not like we got back late or nothin'. in fact, we even left early. i mean, we had to stop once 'cause papy got sick again, but we still made it back on time."

"I-it doesn't matter! You were almost late, and that's bad enough!" she retorted stubbornly, though it was clear by the look on her face that she was quite aware of how flimsy her argument was. It was so flimsy, in fact, that even Papyrus noticed.

"ERR… UNDYNE, DON'T YOU THINK YOU'RE BEING JUST A TINY BIT OVERPROTECTIVE? I FEEL PERFECTLY FINE." He insisted meekly, to which Undyne shot him a fiery glare.

"That's enough outta you! Get inside and get warmed up!" he ordered, putting the force of a command in her voice. Papyrus abruptly stood at attention, giving the Royal Guard a stiff salute.

"Y-YES, MA'AM!"

The two remaining monsters watched as the no longer quite so skinny skeleton hastily made his way into the house. Undyne let out a small sigh, her fins drooping slightly in exasperation. Sans couldn't help but arch an eyebrow up at her.

"look, if you're so damn worried about him, why don't you just order him to stay home? he'll listen if it's you telling him."

"Tch! Yeah right! C'mon, Sans, you live with the guy. You know how stubborn he is about the whole Royal Guard thing. If I gave him orders to stay home, he'd probably go nuts within a day and sneak out on his own. I don't like him out there like this, but at least this way he's out there on my terms. Besides…" an uneasy smile crept across her face. "W-with that kid on the way, he's gotta get tired of trudging all the way out to Snowdin Forest soon, right? I'm… I'm kinda hopin' he'll call it quits himself so I don't have to do it for him…"

Sans let a small smirk cross his face. Ah, so that was it, huh? After all this time, she still couldn't bear to tell Papyrus 'no.' The skeleton sincerely hoped she'd get over that little weakness of hers real soon, because he knew his brother wasn't going stop any other way. He let out a small sigh. Oh well. There was nothing to be done about it until then, was there?

"so, since yer here, wanna stay for dinner?"

"Ngehh… Sure, why not…" she replied with a shrug, and the two of them headed inside out of the cold. What they found inside was a somewhat amusing sight; Papyrus was standing in the threshold of the kitchen, his pink 'kiss the cook' apron draped around his neck, and he was having some difficulty getting it tied in the back. It took him a moment to realize that the two of them were standing there, at which point a faint flush of blue colored his cheeks and he gave an embarrassed smile.

"I-I, ERR… I DON'T SUPPOSE ONE OF YOU COULD HELP ME WITH THIS..?" he asked bashfully, clearly ready to give up on the task himself. Undyne immediately stormed forward, but rather than help him tie his apron, she grabbed him by the collar of his sweater instead.

"Just what the hell d'you think you're doing?!" she growled out, her eye twitching slightly. Papyrus, utterly confused, could only stare back at her for a long moment, unsure how he was supposed to respond.

"Y-YOU TOLD ME TO COME INSIDE AND WARM UP. THE KITCHEN IS RATHER WARM, SO I THOUGHT I'D KILL TWO BIRDS WITH ONE STONE AND START DINNER?" he replied with a small shrug of his shoulders. That, apparently, was not the answer Undyne was looking for.

"I don't think so! You take that thing off right now and go sit down! I'll make dinner!"

"B-BUT UNDYNE..! YOU'RE OUR GUEST! GUESTS SHOULDN'T HAVE TO MAKE DINNER WHEN THEY'RE VISITING OTHER PEOPLE'S—" Papyrus's protests were cut off suddenly as he flinched, making a face of discomfort. He then shot a glare down at his bulging midsection. "N-NO ONE ASKED FOR YOUR INPUT IN THIS MATTER, YOUNG MAN!"

At that point, Undyne seemed as though she had tired of arguing and was willing to take matters into her own hands. She clamped her hands down on either side of Papyrus's shoulders, picked him up almost effortlessly, walked over to the couch, and settled him down into his spot there. The lanky skeleton let out a few small grumbles, but otherwise didn't dissent even as the sea sprite stole his apron and tied it around herself on the way back to the kitchen. Sans, who had long since settled into his own spot on the couch to watch the whole fiasco, looked up at his younger brother with a grin.

"hey, it's like I told ya, bro; ya got a free pass ta sit back and do nothin'. ya might as well enjoy it while ya can!"

Of course, not a moment after he'd said that, Sans felt a heap of cloth hit his face. Rather confused and more than a little annoyed, he peeled the cloth from his face and held it up to see what it was. It was a second apron, though it was smaller and was just plain white. The skeleton looked up, his brows knit in confusion. Undyne stood in the doorway to the kitchen, her hands set on her hips and her eye staring fiercely right at him.

"And you! Get your lazy butt off that couch! You're helpin' me!"

Sans let out a small groan of reluctance, but he could tell by the look on Undyne's face that she wasn't about to let him worm his way out of this one. Papyrus may have had a free pass to be lazy, but that didn't extend to him by any means. He let out a sigh, slipping off the couch and grudgingly putting on the apron he was given.

"lady, i swear, you keep goin' on like this and people are gonna start thinkin' you're the father…"

"What was that, twerp?!"

"n-nothin!"