He looks at me, his large, grass, saucer-like eyes begging. He' hungry. And so am I. The war has drained both of us, physically and mentally. The trenches line my land, like deep cuts, jutting through the battered, muddy grass. They only grow in patches there.
I have to consider myself lucky though. The majority are perishing, trodden and conquered by anger and betrayal. War does this to people. It dihumanises us, makes us machines for attack. It depends on the person though. Some allow their sanity to gush out like a rain filled drain, pulling others alongside it. Some watch as their sense of compassion drips out, like tap water. I'm one of those people.
"Here have some of my bread. I can't eat anymore" I sigh and shove over my nibbled crust. He looks at me, knowing of my hunger but ignores it, deciding to eat the bread for himself anyway. He doesn't utter thanks like he used to. The war has made him this way. He only looks out for himself, knowing all too well that it would break my heart if I didn't feed him.
We don't talk. We sit, contemplating the lack of food on our plates and the pain in our stomachs. He'll grow up to be a clever country. He'll outwit the others probably, if he stays like this. And he knows it.
"Come on, we have to get to bed." I state, as I watch him gather our crockery. We walk up together. When he was small I would sleep with him, for comfort and warmth. Now a wall provides a bitter barrier between us. The bed used to creek under my weight but now it does nothing but give a small, squeak. I still look the same. Straw blonde hair tied in two plaits. Muscle makes up for what once was fat. My hands are still calloused from work. And if a stone could be green, that's what my eyes would be. Stone green.
I lie in bed, staring at the dusty ceiling, held together with rotten wood boards. Spiders begin to retreat back into the corners of their webs, waiting for their overnight prey to appear. I stroke my gun, lying under my pillow. It's the only thing I trust these days.
"You idiot! Why did you go into war with so little weaponairy!?" She screams lugging her friend on her back. Her friend smiles giggling at the thought of defeat. What a fool she is. Growling the girl drops her outside her house. "Happy?! Now you can go play with your royals and your boyfriends!" She's angry. Angry because of the feelings she can't justify.