Hi everyone! You all must hate me, I'm sure.
I am sooooo sorry that my updates take so long!
But school's been crazy and with the new/final season I just couldn't bring myself to write anymore.
I have no many feelings about season four, but that shall have to wait till my next story, won't it?
Anyway, enjoy this new, highly anticipated chapter!
"…and that's when he decided to come to London," Mr. Renard said, starting to bring his tale to a close.
Josie stared at Roger from her seat beside Florian, but she listened to Mr. Renard intently.
"He could not remember a thing," Mr. Renard explained in quiet awe as he sat on the edge of the next empty cot, "Still, he knew he needed to find you."
Josie's heart warmed but she heard Mr. Renard sigh in frustration.
"But now he remembers too much…" he stated softly.
"Too much?" she asked, looking to him.
"Not only does he remember you…but he remembers everything about the war as well," he stood and moved to the side of Florian's bed, "It is too much for him to handle. That is why he was in the street this morning. He went mad trying to escape the enemy in his head."
Josie swallowed hard, "I see."
A cold silence filled the room as she continued to stare at Roger.
She did not know what to say. Everything she learned about Florian's time after the war made her want to cry out in anger or burst into tears. But there was still much she needed to understand about the whole situation.
She sensed a movement from Florian and turned just in time to see his eyes open.
"My dear?" she asked, sitting forward and taking his hand, "Are you alright?"
His head shook abruptly and he pulled his hand away from hers. His body began to spasm like before, but this time it was worse.
"Nurse!" Mr. Renard shouted as he hurried to the door, "Help! Nurse!"
Josie felt a hand on her arm and looked up to see Roger.
"Please, come away," he insisted urgently as he helped her to stand, "The doctors will see to him. Don't worry."
Josie fought against him, "No! I can't leave him like this."
"Josie, come now!" Roger held her tightly and pulled her away just as the nurse and two doctors rushed in and huddled around the bed.
"Please, let me stay with him! Please…" she begged, trying to pry herself from Roger's grip.
She could not fight him off and she began to weep as he forced her out into the hallway.
Once outside, he closed the door and let her go. She waited a moment, catching her breath. She felt dizzy, furious, confused.
A man's scream echoed from inside the hospital room and sent a jolt through Josie's heart.
"My God what are they doing to him?" she murmured, instantly racing for the door.
"My darling, you do not want to see what they do to him," he said, baring the door though she tried to push passed him, "It will help him but it is difficult to watch."
She ignored him and moved to the window. She could not see what the doctors were doing, but Florian's painful moans forced her to look away.
"What are they doing to him?" she asked again, staring across at the opposite wall.
"I do not know," Roger said and wiped a hand across his brow, "It is far too complicated for me, but Mr. Renard seems to understand."
Josie closed her eyes and hung her head, taking slow breaths as Florian's cries slowly died away.
A moment passed, but she felt Roger's eyes on her.
"Josie, I -"
He was interrupted when the door flung open and the nurse stepped out.
"How is he?" Josie asked nervously.
The nurse smiled, "He will be fine. It just takes time, miss."
Josie started for the door, but the nurse stopped her.
"You mustn't disturb him, miss," she urged, "The doctors are finishing their work and Mr. Renard will stay with him. He will let you know if anything changes."
The nurse quickly continued down the hall, leaving Josie and Roger alone in silence.
Josie wrung her hands and gazed into nothingness, thinking. Her heart ached as she fought against the passionate bursts of anger that threatened to erupt in her chest. She needed to understand everything…she needed the whole story.
"Bloody awful business, this," Roger mumbled.
She closed her eyes.
Roger stood a short distance away but it felt as though a canyon lay between them.
"He will be fine, don't you worry," he said.
Josie took a deep, slow breath. She wanted to cry, to scream, but she held it all inside.
She took a step back and leaned against the wall. She sniffled back a tear, opened her eyes, and tilted her head up. She stood tall but she wanted to crumble to the floor.
"Come now," Roger said, stepping towards her carefully, "I can get you something. Tea. Or a coffee. There's a shop just across the street."
She still could not bring herself to respond.
It must only have been a minute or two, but it felt like an hour before Roger spoke again, breaking the silence.
"Josie -" he said, a deep pain in his voice, "Please… say something. Anything."
She remained silent. She needed to think, to process everything she'd learned. But it was too much.
"Josie," he continued, "Darling, please, I -"
"How long have you known?" she asked in a deathly quiet whisper.
Roger was silent and she turned to look at him, though her stomach churned with anger and grief.
"Tell me," she cleared her throat expectantly, "I know Mr. Renard's version of events, but I want to hear yours."
"Well…" he began, shrugging and looking down to the floor, "I hardly know how to begin -"
"Don't toy with me, Roger," she blurted as her shaky calmness gave way to heated anger, "Because if I find out you knew…" she walked to him abruptly, pointing an accusatory finger into his chest, "If I learn you have known all this time, all these years…" her lip quivered and she began to cry, "I will never forgive you, do you understand? Never!"
He slowly grasped the hand she held against him as her sobs continued. Her heart was breaking and she could not help but rest her head against his shoulder. Though she wanted to hate him, she found herself clinging to him for support.
"It was nothing like that," he whispered into her hair, "I swear to you."
Josie stepped back and looked up to him, silently awaiting the truth.
Roger sighed, his hand still gripping hers.
"Tuesday," he muttered, "I've known since Tuesday -"
"Oh God…" Josie gasped and put a hand over her mouth.
She felt Roger try to put an arm around her and she stepped away instantly.
"Don't touch me!" she snapped.
"I saw him at the store with Mr. Renard," Roger explained, "I could not believe it was him. I…" he shrugged, trying to find the word to describe what he had felt, "I froze. I panicked! You saw the state I was in -"
"Yes," Josie stated with a broken laugh, "Yes, you were so shocked that you could not bother to tell me why!"
"I did not know how to!" Roger argued, lifting his voice, "They left the store without any sort of explanation and I could not piece together how it was possible, how he could be alive. Would you honestly expect me to tell you the truth when I did not know the whole of it myself?"
Josie spun around to face him, to counter his story, but she knew he was right, somehow.
"Well, when did you learn the truth?" she asked sternly, folding her arms.
Roger shrugged, "Yesterday -"
She scoffed sadly and put a hand on her hip as she turned from him and began to pace.
"Mr. Renard came to me and told me the story you have yourself just heard," Roger sighed and ran a hand through his hair, "We talked and we decided it was better for everyone if Florian returned to Belgium -"
"Better for everyone? Really?" Josie questioned cynically.
"It's true!" Roger argued.
"And it was really him, wasn't it? Last night? That 'delivery boy'?" Josie continued walking about anxiously, "God, I knew it was him…" she stopped and closed her eyes for a moment before turning to glare at Roger, "He was there, right in front of me, and you lied to me!"
"You fainted -"
"I woke up!" she shouted, then became quiet, "I woke up and he was gone," she continued to hold his gaze, "You got him out of the house, somehow, didn't you? And then you held me as I cried," she shook her head in disgust, "You told me Florian was gone, that I needed to get over his death, but all the while you knew…" she hung her head, her heart weak with anger and betrayal.
"How could you do it?" she asked, looking up to Roger after a short time, "After all the pain and heartache I have suffered because of his death. How could you stay silent for so long?"
Roger's eyes turned from guilt to anger in a smoldering second.
"You ask me this," he spat as she turned her back to him, "But you know full well you did the same thing when you concealed the truth about Doris' affair with Billy."
Josie's eyes closed. She froze, her back straightening as a chill spread across her skin.
"Josie, I…" she heard Roger speak but her heart was cold.
"Don't you dare…" she whispered, "Don't you dare…"
"Forgive me," he muttered and she heard him walking towards her, "I didn't mean it -"
"No, you did," she stated, turning to him with cold eyes, "I know you meant it because I know you," she shook her head, "I have known you for over twenty-five years. And all this time I have worried over you, loved you, and stood by you…" she shook her head, smiling sadly at him, "But nothing ever changes with you, does it? You meddle and manipulate. And I…" her voice broke and she looked away, "I can't take it anymore, Roger. I can't…"
He stepped close to her, "Josie, please -"
"Don't…" she held out a hand to stop him from moving closer, but the look in his eyes caught her off guard.
He was repentant, scared, guilty, broken. There was sincere regret in his heart, she could see it.
"Just leave," she whispered.
"Josie -"
"I can't do this anymore. I just can't," she shook her head and turned from him.
She moved to the window and looked through to where Florian rested.
She could see Roger through the glass reflection and her heart wept for him. He was so shaken by her words, so disappointed in himself and what he'd done. She wanted to turn around and throw her arms around him, declare she still loved him despite everything. But she did not. How could she possibly love him after this?
"Just go, please," she begged, closing her eyes to erase the sight of his apologetic looks.
"As you wish," he muttered quietly.
Her heart stopped and she quickly turned back around, but he was already gone.
Oh dear me! :(
Poor Josie...Poor Roger
It's just a mess, isn't it?
Please review!
And keep a look out for more updates.
They will be coming, I promise :)