Hi! So, I'm sorry that I haven't posted any chapters in a REALLY long time, but I've been having a really rough couple of weeks (family stuff) and I haven't had the drive, much less the time, to write anything. I thought the best way to get the pep back into my metaphorical step would be to write a chapter that was mildly comic. At first this chapter was more going to be more serious, but I decided to make it comic for the reasons I just mentioned. So, I hope you enjoy it!
Chapter 15: Cash or plastic?
I kept that job only for a long enough amount of time to get a new one, but as it would turn out, the damage had been done. After less than two weeks at Elyssa's, I left the job to work as a cashier and dress buyer for a small consignment shop called "Ditko's".
I know what you're thinking, "oh great, a little consignment shop; I suppose they have mob ties or something?" Actually no, to the best of my knowledge it was a legitimate business, what a rarity in Gotham!
It looked a bitlike a Bloomingdale's. It had carpeted floors with a checkout counter in the middle of the store, surrounded by rack upon rack of nice dresses, blouses, shoes and purses; though if you looked hard enough you'd find that the store sold almost every type of accessory imaginable, from floppy hats and cheap bracelets to brightly colored wigs and party masks. My boss was a crabby, short-tempered guy who called himself Stevie Russo.
And, as far as bosses go, I would have taken Roscoe Peabody over him any day.
Stevie was a spoiled brat. He only actually came into work three days a week or so, leaving the store in the care of his assistants, Deborah O'Neil and his cousin, Evan Baxter. Most of his days were spent partying, getting with women and sleeping off the alcohol. When he did come in, he spent most of his time in the back room, puking up tequila or sleeping off his hangover. Deborah paid us, Evan worked on all the finances… For all intents and purposes, Stevie may as well have not existed, as I found out on my third day of work.
It was a normal Tuesday, not too many customers were in and I was on the phone haggling over the price of a violet flapper dress when the door burst open. I nearly dropped the phone with surprise. "You know what? Never mind." I said before hanging up the phone. Stevie looked like something out of an 80's fashion magazine-except he was doing it wrong. He wore a pair of brightly colored spandex which looked like they would stick together if he stood at attention, coupled with a pair of knee high cowboy boots. His yellow Members Only jacket was open, revealing a bright neon green tank top. His brown hair had been teased to a ridiculous height and was matted in some areas. My eyes stung just looking at him.
"Hey you!"
I pretended not to have noticed him coming in, "yes? Can I help you?"
"Yeah, you can tell me who the hell you are, I don't remember you!"
I stood up quickly, "uh, yeah; Evan-err, Mr. Baxter- hired me three days ago…"
"Evan!" Stevie yelled at the top of his lungs, I quickly covered my ears.
"Yes?" Called the pinched alto voice from behind a rack of coats.
"Get up here!"
"Just a second!" He audibly 'harrumphed' and pushed back the coats before stomping up to the intoxicated man before him.
"What did I tell you about bringing in dames without telling me first?" Actually, he said "firsht", but I wasn't about to correct him.
Evan pretended to think about it, adjusting his glasses absent mindedly. He shrugged, "you tell me, Stevie?"
"I told you to not to!" I stifled a snort, and wondered how he had managed to get to work that day with that high a blood alcohol level; and quickly decided that I probably didn't want to know.
Evan rolled his eyes irritably, "Steven, I DID tell you that I was hiring her but..."
"No, ya didn't!" Stevie interrupted "I would've 'membered tat!"
Evan sighed with exaggerated patience, "I told you, over the phone, at 3:00 three days ago that I was hiring a Sarah Valens" he looked over his shoulder at me "that's her- you said 'mmm-kay', and from what I could tell you were a...little busy at the time. So I decided to leave it at that!"
Stevie and Evan stared at each other in a very charged silence for a moment, finally Stevie groaned and said "fine. She can stay for the day, but if she screws up one little thing, she's fired! Mmm-kay?"
Evan nodded dismissively, and Stevie took his place in the back room, within twenty minutes we could hear him snoring loudly. All was well.
…
The day went on fairly normally after that, it was Tuesday so not too many people were in during the day, but as the sun went down and people began leaving their jobs for the day, the store filled with its regular patrons. Halfway through the evening Stevie finally emerged. "Hi, Mr. Russo!" I said as good-naturedly as I possibly could. Deborah, who was standing next to me, shot me a glance that said 'don't talk'. Stevie seemed genuinely surprised that I was still there, he opened his mouth as if he was going to say something, and immediately turned around and ran to the bathroom. Deborah tittered slightly, Evan looked away from the rack he was restocking and winked at me.
"So, how are we doing on profits?" Whispered Deborah once Stevie was out of earshot.
I opened the cash register and removed all the money we had received that evening, and then the handwritten slip which told how much money in credit charges we'd made, "let's see…twenty-five, fifty…" suddenly the doors crashed open. Deborah and I quickly turned around to see, something jump into the room. It crashed onto the main display in the middle of the room. I gasped, it was a man; his pale blue shirt had been reduced to a collar and cuffs with pieces of fabric trailing from them. His skin was yellow like old paper, his hair seaweed green and boy did he stink! He smelled like some odd mixture of vinegar and rotting flesh! Blargh! He had a wide, ridiculous smile and big crazy eyes; this guy's face could have given the Joker a run for his money! "Wardrobe!" He shouted. The patrons dashed out of the store as quickly as they could, screaming at the top of their lungs. Deborah put her right hand on the top of my head and pushed me under the desk "let me handle this." I weakly nodded but peeked out just to the side of the desk as he picked up item after item and threw it aside. Deborah stood in front of him, hand on hip, staring at him with a thoroughly unimpressed expression. "No…no…no!" He shouted, tossing aside several garments, he picked up a plastic Batman mask and held it to his face, "it's been done." He turned to Deborah "any suggestions?"
"With your coloring I'd go green." She held up the striped green speedo that she had been holding.
"Gotcha!" He swiped the speedo from her hands and leaped –at an inhumanly high height- into the dressing room. I heard the ripping of clothes as he threw a pair of pants over the screen, he grabbed a nearby mannequin and pulled it behind the screen, and a few seconds later tossed an unclothed mannequin back into the room. Deborah sighed and sat down on the now destroyed display, he threw aside the screen and revealed himself, now wearing a bright green speedo, an orange boa, and two red gloves "what about the boa, too much?"
"Not for you, baby." Sighed Deborah,
He raised his hands over his head in a mildly comic position and stalked towards her "I want to strike terror into the hearts of criminals."
"Cash or plastic?" She asked. He slammed the Batman mask onto the counter, it shattered noisily.
"Plastic!" He cackled.
"Ha, funny."
Still laughing, he handed over a thin gray credit card, once it had been swiped, he jumped through the doors onto the street, laughing maniacally. I slowly stood up from behind the counter and Evan emerged from behind a rack of coats, his glasses skewed slightly. She turned to me, smiling wryly "and that, Sarah, is how you deal with a nut job."
Deborah, you have no idea…
I looked around what a mess… but before the thought had reached my mouth, we heard the toilet flush. "Uh-oh" muttered Evan.
Stevie wandered out of the bathroom, zipping up his fly, he looked up at the store and froze. He looked at each of us individually and then fixed his gaze on me. "Valens! What did you do?"
"She didn't do anything, Stevie." Said Deborah, "some nut jumped in here looking for a superhero costume and wrecked the stuff in the process, he paid though…"
Stevie wasn't buying it, "you're going to pay for this Valens!"
"It's true!" Evan interjected, he pointed at the small gray security camera hanging from one of the walls, "the security camera will prove that!"
Stevie stood there silently for a moment, "well…clean it up! Clean it up!" He shouted.
…
We spent the rest of the evening cleaning up the store, putting away the broken mannequins and sweeping the floor. It was nearly 12:00 AM by the time we were finished and I was ready to go home and turn in for the day, sadly, Gotham's rogue's gallery had other plans. As we finished stowing the sad remains of the broken mannequin, the telephone rang, "I'll get it." Said Evan, he picked up the phone, "hello?" He paused for a moment, "Sarah, it's for you."
I stood up, smoothing the creases out of my slacks, and picked up the phone. "Hello?" I asked.
"Sarah! Is that you? I tried calling you at home, but-"
"Aiden! Are you okay?" I cut him off. Even though I wasn't working at Elyssa's anymore, I had kept in touch with Aiden. His voice sounded shaky and nervous, and I was really concerned.
"N-no, listen, we got a major problem!"
I heard a gravelly voice in the background, I couldn't quite tell what it was saying, but it sent a chill up my spine.
"Aiden, is someone else in there?"
"Yeah! Some thugs, and I think they're looking for you!"
"What!? Have you called the police?"
"Yeah, they said they'd be here in fifteen minutes!"
Fifteen minutes! I almost screamed.
"I thought I should warn you."
"Who are you talking to?!" Shouted a voice in the background.
I heard Aiden struggling as the phone was wrenched out of his hands. "Who is this?"
I instantly shut my mouth, not even daring to breathe. I heard the man on the other end grunt, "trying to call the police, huh?"
"Let's knock some sense into him!"
Aiden kicked gasped and struggled.
"Wait!" I screamed into receiver "don't touch him!"
There was a brief pause "who is this?"
"I'm Sarah Valens" I said, in as composed a voice as I could manage, "you were looking for me?"
There was another pause "yeah, get to the cake shop in five minutes, I have a business deal for you."
"I don't…!"
He hung up.