I am 3
I am…a whore, a slut, a masochist, a fag, a freak, an alcoholic, a murderer, a liar, a psycho, and a thief. A story about social rejects coming together to make something so sad it was beautiful.
I know it's been a while, my apologies. I believe I will start having more time, so hopefully I will get to update more frequently. Please read and review; you guys don't understand how happy reviews make me! : )
He couldn't help the feeling of bliss that ran over him as he slid the knife down his thigh. Bringing the knife to the same thigh only a few inches away, his eyes rolled back in his head as he pressed the sharp metal over his skin again.
He was littering scars all over his pale body, and he couldn't find it in himself to care. The euphoric ecstasy the pain was causing him was all he cared about. The feeling the pain caused him was better than anything he had experienced before.
Gripping the knife a little tighter, he pressed the knife harder into his skin this time. He began groaning out his delight as a heavier wave of blood ran down his thigh. As the loss began to hit him, he began to see double. Groping for the towel he usually set beside him, he began to panic at not feeling it.
Sliding off of the bed, the male cursed before grabbing for his phone. Dialing 911 took an extreme amount of effort as the numbers blurred in front of him.
Bringing the phone up to his ear, he breathed out a sigh of relief as the 911 operator began to talk to him. "911 what is your emergency?"
"…Lost too much b-lood." He said before passing out.
XxxX
As he began to stir, the familiar smell of antiseptic hit his nose. How many times had he ended up in here? Grunting slightly as he slid up in the hospital bed, his purple eyes scanned the room, and he was surprised to find someone sitting in the chair beside his bed.
"I'm Kakashi," he watched as the man beside his bed began to speak. "I know you may think you don't need any help at this point in your life, but I know you do. The last cut was close to your femoral artery, Hidan; the doctors called me because they think you are suicidal."
Hidan chose to ignore Kakashi as he ran a hand through his own silver locks. Of course he hadn't meant to cut that close to his artery, fuck, even he knew what happened if he cut that. It didn't help that it had felt so fucking good when he had ran the cold metal over his thigh.
"I'm not fucking suicidal," Hidan spoke as his purple irises turned slightly angry. "Masochist, fuck yes, but not suicidal."
"Which leads me to what I'm about to say to you right now," Kakashi said as he scooted forward in his chair. Hidan rolled his eyes slightly at the man before him; who the hell dressed like that? "I am a psychiatrist and I'd like to help you get through your masochism."
Hidan snorted before out-right laughing in Kakashi's face. "I don't think you understand; I fucking love the way I am right now."
"How many personal relationships have you had recently?" Kakashi asked as he looked Hidan in the eye. Hidan's silver eyebrow rose, but Kakashi wasn't finished. "Have you been able to have a full-time job lately? What you have is a disease, Hidan, and it prevents you from fully functioning; I specialize in helping people like you."
Hidan's eyes flashed in anger as he spoke, "Who the hell are you to tell me what's wrong with me?! I would think I know myself a little fucking better than you do, Doc."
"You're twenty-two Hidan," Kakashi rattled off some information as he sat back in his chair again. "Your mother and father passed away when you were younger, and you haven't been able to hold even a part-time job, or a full-time job. You have been living off of your parents' money, but you and I both know what's going to happen when it runs out. I run a center twenty miles south of here and I want to be able to help you. Give me a chance to, give yourself a chance to."
XxxX
Sakura couldn't help the spike of fear that ran through her as Asuma and Kurenai led her to a police car. In the jail cell the night before, she had felt the safest she had felt in a long time. Without knowing, she had fallen asleep. Being woken up in the morning by the smell of coffee had been rather pleasant, but Sakura was still mad at herself for dropping her guard so easily.
Now, as she was getting into the back of the police car, Sakura was afraid. She was afraid Kurenai or Asuma had found something to identity her last night when she was sleeping. What if her father knew where she was? What if he knew about why she was in jail in the first place?
At this point in time, Sakura was sure that her father was awake and nursing his hangover. He would come looking for her soon, Sakura was sure, and she was afraid of his retaliation when he couldn't find her.
After trying to run away that one time… Sakura shivered deeply, she knew what the consequences were. That was why she was saving up, and was going to leave at just the right time.
Gripping the seat belt in front of her, Sakura looked to the people in front of her to try and find out where they were headed.
"He said that he'd be there when we drop her off," Kurenai commented to her partner beside her. The fear inside Sakura gripped her tighter; it was like a snake coiling around her entire being. They were talking about her father, weren't they? Instead of allowing the tears that were so dangerously close to falling fall, Sakura took in a deep breath. The two in front of her must have heard her, because Kurenai turned around with a small smile.
"It's okay Sweetheart," Kurenai said. The woman before Sakura was so motherly, so nurturing. "We're going to a center north of here. Our friend Kakashi is a doctor, and hopefully he will help you get through whatever you are going through."
At hearing the other woman's words, Sakura felt relief flood over her. She wasn't going home. She didn't care where she was going, at this moment, as long as it wasn't home.
"We still couldn't find out who you were," Asuma chimed in as he drove the car. "But we both feel that Kakashi will be able to help you in whatever way you need."
The rest of the twenty-five minute car ride was quiet, and it allowed Sakura to watch the scenery change. The big buildings of Konoha changed into tall trees the further north they went. Sakura was surprised when Asuma began to turn down a small gravel road.
As he continued driving, the gravel soon made way to a paved road until a large mansion like building was seen in the distance. Sakura's eyes widened slightly at the size of the building; she estimated she could put her old house in this mansion-like-building ten times.
The car slowed as Asuma pulled up to what appeared to be the front of the building. Sakura scooted back in the backseat as Kurenai opened the door in front of her. Kurenai frowned at Sakura, but Sakura didn't move.
"I'll go get Kakashi," Asuma said while walking past the two females.
"I'll keep an eye on her," Kurenai nodded her agreement as her crimson eyes only held concern for the pinkette in the backseat.
Sakura didn't know what to think as she brought her knees up to her chest. Closing her eyes, Sakura chose to ignore the older woman before her.
She wasn't quite sure what to do in this situation. Yes, she didn't want to go back home, but she also didn't want to be somewhere she didn't know and wasn't comfortable with. Sakura prided herself in having thick skin. Her skin was thick enough to where she would usually walk into a situation with little to no reservations; she didn't care what people thought of her, and the only thing that scared her was her father.
Now was different though; she didn't know anyone outside of the two police officers that had taken her here, and she didn't even know them that well. She didn't know what kind of center this was, and was afraid they would ultimately deliver her back to her father. She didn't want that…
Hearing a new voice outside of the car, Sakura opened her emerald eyes to see someone she had never met before. The male looked a little ridiculous in his black turtle neck, which was pulled up almost to his eyes, and his shaggy silver hair. Looking into his mismatched crimson and grey eyes, Sakura found something slightly calming about the man's appearance.
"Hello," the man said as he had seen her eyes on him. "I'm Kakashi. I'm not going to press you for your name, because Asuma and Kurenai both told me that you have refused to give them one. I just want to help you. Will you come inside and let me show you around? This is my facility, and there are other people inside who I will be helping here as well."
Sakura refused to answer Kakashi as she slipped further into the backseat. Even though he seemed trustworthy and kind now, Sakura knew that it was probably a front. She had not trusted anyone since she was very small; it was something she grew up on, and wasn't going to change anytime soon.
"Okay," Kakashi said with a nod. Sakura's eyebrow rose as she watched Kakashi sit on the ground in front of the car door. "I'll wait till you're ready."
At first it was easy to ignore the stare from Kakashi's mismatched eyes, but as twenty minutes began to pass, Sakura found it harder and harder. Uncrunching her legs, Sakura began to slowly make her way towards the car door. As she got closer, Kakashi began to stand and back away from the door.
Once she was outside of the car, Sakura's eyes began to scan the area the center was in. The trees that surrounded the center looked new and different; Sakura had never been outside of the city. Sakura found herself calming a small bit more as she followed Kakashi to the front door.
"I'm glad you decided to come out," Kakashi told her, and even though his mouth was not showing, Sakura could tell that he was smiling. "I'll show you around the facility and introduce you to your new roommate."
Sakura nodded before she heard Asuma clear his throat. Turning, Sakura frowned when she watched the two police officers standing in front of their vehicle. "I hope everything goes well with you," Asuma said with a frown.
Turning to Kurenai, Sakura was surprised to find unshed tears in her eyes. "If you ever need anyth-ing," Kurenai said as her voice cracked. "I mean anything, tell Kakashi and he'll call me."
Nodding once, Sakura turned and followed Kakashi into the facility. She wasn't sure how to take the emotions Kurenai had been so openly sharing with her; she wasn't used to it. Shaking her head slightly, Sakura figured she'd think on it later; she needed to pay attention and try to focus on her new home.
"So this is the front desk," Kakashi spoke easily as he walked to the desk that was a few yards in front of the door. "If you ever have a problem and can't find me, this is the best place to go. Obito is the receptionist and my best friend; he'll be able to help you."
Obito sat behind the desk. Even though he had been typing speedily as the pair walked up, he stopped and smiled at Sakura. "Welcome!" He said cheerfully.
"The front desk is also where visitors have to check in," Kakashi said rattling off information as the two continued forward. "It is also where mail is delivered… not that you really will have to worry about that for now."
Sakura nodded as he led her through the common areas: the kitchen, living room, downstairs bathrooms, and the meeting rooms.
"You will be assigned to one of these meeting rooms when you have group sessions with me and a few other people," Kakashi said as he started to head for the stairs that were near the front desk. "There will also be single sessions where you and I will just meet up in my office.
"Now we'll head to your room and meet your roommate," Kakashi said as Sakura reached the top of the stairs. The hallway in front of her held about ten doors. Walking forward, Kakashi began rattling off the people that stayed behind each room. "On this side there is: Hidan and Kakuzu, and Pein and Zetsu. On this other side there is Sasori and Deidara, and Itachi and Kisame. You will be staying in the room next to Itachi and Kisame, kiddy corner to Pein and Zetsu. Your roommate's name is Konan, and I think you'll get along really well with each other; she's very quiet like you."
Nodding, so she could show she understood, Sakura followed Kakashi until he stood before her new door. Konan was the only name on the door, but Sakura knew they didn't know her name. She was hopeful that people here would continue not knowing at least until she could figure out what to do with herself.
She was turning eighteen in March, and though March was a few months away, Sakura knew she could make it here. When she was eighteen there would be nothing forcing her to stay with her father; she could and would move as far away from him as possible, which is what she hoped they both wanted.
Kakashi stepped into Sakura's new room first, but Sakura wasn't very far behind. As her mind continued to think on this place, Sakura found herself more and more contended with being here.
"Konan," Kakashi's calm voice spoke drawing Sakura's attention to him. In the room there were two twin sized beds, two dressers, a door (which Sakura assumed led to a bathroom), and a woman who appeared to be a few years old than herself. The woman had short electric blue hair that Sakura immediately knew was natural and emotionless grey eyes. Looking at her posture and the way she held herself, Sakura immediately could recognize the woman before her as being an abuse victim.
It was weird, Sakura thought, but she could always recognize a fellow abuse victim, and she could usually recognize an abuser… It was like a sixth-sense she had.
Stepping forward, Kakashi looked to Sakura before smiling. "See?" He said as he looked between the two. "I knew the two of you would get along. Both quiet. Well let me make the introductions. This is Konan. Konan, this is your new roommate. She has chosen to not give us a name, so therefore we are not quite sure what to call her."
Konan nodded her electric blue hair to show she understood before going back to her bed. It appeared Konan had been reading a book before Kakashi and Sakura had entered.
"Okay," Kakashi said before walking towards the door. "I think that should be it until we have group counseling a little later today; that's where you can meet everyone else," Kakashi said while motioning towards Sakura.
Sakura found herself nodding before she walked to the bed she assumed was hers. She didn't have a lot of items on her: Kurenai had been nice enough to buy her a few days' worth of clothes, and they were in a small bag that hung on Sakura's side.
As Kakashi left, Sakura allowed the silence to filter over her, and she couldn't help but to feel at least a little calm. Whatever this place was, Sakura knew she couldn't let herself drop her guard too much… her life depended on it.
XxxX
Konan's grey eyes quickly flashed to her new roommate before going back to the book she was reading in front of her. The girl did not give her a name, but Konan herself wanted to call her Sakura. Her hair was the color of cherry blossom flowers that she had seen in a book here. The color was beautiful, and brought out the emerald color of her eyes.
With the way the girl sat on her bed, Konan knew that something had happened to the girl; there was obviously a reason she did not want to give anyone her name.
Gripping her book tighter, Konan tried to fight off the violent waves of nausea she felt as a flash back rattled through her.
It had been like this the few days she had been here. Even when she wasn't thinking about him, she would still have the sudden urge to vomit, or would get flashbacks from when she was still in that house.
She could barely sleep, and when she did, her dreams were plagued with awful nightmares of him coming back for her. She also barely ate anything; whatever she did eat she usually threw it up before too long.
Her eyes darted to where the girl lay on her bed. Konan was afraid that the nightmares would wake up her roommate… and she wasn't quite sure what to do with another female here.
Konan had never been given the chance to have any friends when she grew up, let alone female ones. This would be different, but Konan was slightly hopeful she would have someone to finally talk to…