A/N: Trigger warning: Abuse.

Jack didn't want to be a miserable piece of shit, but he couldn't even drag his sorry ass out of bed for more than five minutes for the next week

Hiccup would come in and talk to him, but when Jack wouldn't talk, he would soon leave.

The general mood was a downer. Jack knew it. It was only a matter of time before Astrid kicked him out or some other shit. Maybe she would tell Hiccup she was right. Jack didn't even care anymore.

All he could do was question thing. Why did Ana come into his life again? She was a close friend of his growing up. She was older than him by a few years, his guess was between six and ten years, he couldn't remember for the life of him. Her family weren't old money, but her father had come into money down Florida way after he had moved to the States. Jack didn't know the details. When he was younger he didn't care. He just wanted a friend and Ana was that friend. She was the first one he came out to, the one who gave him advice, would lend him her old clothes so he could cross-dress and she had bought him his first dildo when he was seventeen.

The thing was, no matter how close they were, he had never, ever told her about his relationship with his parents. She knew nothing about the twisted secrets and the abuse that had spanned his whole life.

He rolled onto his back, looking up at the ceiling. He really hated that it was black. Made him feel so alone, and small... insignificant. He wanted to be someone. He had always wanted to be. Now he was just tiny, small, insignificant Jackson Overland-Frost. Failed teacher, failed homeowner (did renting count as home-owning? Probably not. Not that it mattered.), failed lover. He had to show Hiccup that he still loved him. That he wanted to be with the artist forever. But he could hardly even speak. He was paralyzed by the fear that was his family. Would Ana call them and ask them what was wrong with him? Would she tell them how erratically he had acted in a public place? A coffee shop of all places!

"How do you know my bub?"

He blinked. Sounded just like Ana. He could even hear her in his thoughts. Crazy.

"He lives here."

"What?! Where is he?!"

He blinked a few times. "Ana?" he muttered.

The door opened, revealing Hiccup and Toothiana.

"Oh bub" she gasped, sounding so relieved. "Oh god I was so worried about you" she said, starting to cry. She rushed over to him and kissed his forehead. "Can you please tell Toothie what's wrong?" she cooed.

"No... can't."

Hiccup walked over and sat next to him. "She saw your photos and flipped" he chuckled.

"I didn't know you had such a charming a boyfrined" she giggled at Jack.

He looked up at Hiccup, smiling.

"I didn't tell her anything."

"Oh, you aren't?"

"We are" Jack and Hiccup said at the same time.

"Aww, that is just too cute!" she squealed. "How did you meet?"

"He was sleeping on a park bench-"

"What?! Why isn't your father-?"

"Stop bring up my fucking father!" he snapped. "That asshole can burn in fucking hell for all I fucking care!"

She gasped. "What did he do to you?"

Hiccup had never seen Jack look that way. He was angry, and quite frankly, he was worried about him.

"That asshole... can die" he panted. "I will kill him myself one day."

She but her lip. She knew she had opened a can of worms. She pulled him into a seating position and leaned his head against her small chest. She rubbed circles on his back, calming him down enough. "Bub, please talk to me. I love you and I don't want you to hurt anymore."

He shook his head. "I can't." He looked at Hiccup.

"Do you want me to go?" Hiccup asked.

"No... when I talk, you can listen."

He nodded.

He beckoned to Hiccup, who leaned over. Jack pulled him into a hug. "I'm sorry I have been so useless all week."

He sighed. "Don't feel that way. We have our shit days. Or weeks. No biggie."

"You are so kind and gentle. That is what I love about you."

He smiled. "Jack-"

"And one day I will tell you... fuck it... I'll talk. Just don't tell." He looked at Toothiana. "Please don't call my parents."

"Jack, I won't. I promise."

"Thank you. I don't want to deal with the aftermath. Well... guess I'm supposed to start at at the beginning. That is where all 'good' stories start, right?"

Tooth just rubbed his back before nodding, although her expression was hard to read.

Hiccup held his hand, giving it a small squeeze.

Jack nodded. "So... Ana, you know, Hiccup, you didn't, but I come from old money. Old, old money. My father is some big CEO or some shit, I don't fucking remember, and my mother was a model and socialite. You know, typical shit family. When she had me she retired. Had y sister a few years later."

Ana looked down. "R.I.P little angel" she whispered. She had adored the young girl as though she was her own little sister.

Hiccup heard Ana and looked at Jack. "What-?"

"She died" Jack said with little emotion, but all the emotions he could feel came bubbling up inside him. Anger, sadness, depression that he just couldn't escape. He also felt relief. In a way, she had been the lucky one. "Fuck it... I don't know if I can." He shuffled down, lying his head in Ana's lap. She petted his soft hair. "Hiccup, can you... I want you to rub my back."

Hiccup shuffled over and rubbed his boyfriends pale back. He planted kisses up the spine.

"Mm" Jack smiled. "Better" he reached for Hiccup's hand, who grasped his. He felt stronger. "My father had me and my sister home-schooled and we were both taken care of by nannies from the day we were born. Our days were strict and regimented. We rarely left the house. To be honest, I felt like I never saw much of my mother. When I was older I found out she was doing stints in rehab for cocaine and alcohol abuse." He breathed in. "My father was around a little but... I guess he was at work heaps." He breathed, trying to regain normal breathing. "I was so scared of him. He was so intimidating." The grip on Hiccup's hand became almost vice like. He felt so open and vulnerable. "I walked in on my father having a threesome with two other women when I was around twelve. My mother was in rehab again... and he just looked at me as though he would kill me. I was so scared I had a panic attack. I told mum when she got home and my father said that I was making it up and that it never happened. He said that I was... I can't remember. They took me to the hospital and I was so hysterical that they wouldn't listen to me that they gave me a shot... and I fell asleep. I woke up in the hospital. All they wanted was to stick a diagnosis on me. Bipolar. Borderline Personality Disorder. I don't know. In my mind it was just so my father could get away with whatever he wanted to do. I was just a twelve year old who was scared to death. That wasn't the only time I caught him cheating. Soon enough he was... I am so sure that was why she died..."

Ana gasped, putting two and two together. "Are you saying your father abused your sister?"

"I walked in on it" he started sobbing again. "She was crying and... it was the worst thing. I will never get it out of my memory. Never. She was so young and... it was awful." Jack touched his ribs. "They broke because I wasn't strong enough to run away and find one of his guns and shoot him. He was so rough and..."

"Did he do it to you too?" she asked anger flicked through her eyes.

"No. No... just the physical beatings. It was enough to get mom to question what happened to me. But he brushed it off. When my sister was... twelve that was when she... She didn't kill herself. Fuck that. Dad killed her cause she threatened to speak out. I knew she was going to say something" he wiped his puffy eyes. "I didn't think she would do it. She wanted to get help. I have a psychiatric record. I'm a fucking not job, apparently, and I make up will stories for attention. Yep. That is what they all think of me. I was surprised I was able to become a teacher. Thought they'd look at me and know I was a fuck up. Apparently that isn't the case." He sighed at his disjointed story. "The coroners report said that it was suicide. Apparently she had overdosed on some meds that were in my name, which can't be right. I was never prescribed medication when I was sixteen. It was when I started college they made me... I didn't take it. I would get the 'script filled and I would sell the tablets at college. I guess they meant to put moms name on the report... but I still know he did it. They said they found 'unidentified semen' at the scene. I know he raped her. We never left the house, she didn't know any guys. All my father had to do was to pay them off. They never tested his sperm, and they never tested mine. Soon enough it was back to emotional abuse. 'you're a piece of shit', 'you'll never amount to anything'... Once dad found out I was gay... he said you mentioned it" he looked up at Ana who gasped. "They found someone who would do aversion therapy-"

"Are you fucking joking?" she asked, horrified.

"No. Why would I? My father wanted me to be straight." He sat up. "I am going to throw up."

Hiccup helped him up and half dragged, half awkwardly stumbling until they reached the bathroom. Jack threw up, although there wasn't much. Just the water he had drank earlier and the slightly toast Ruff had brought him.

"Sorry" he said, looking around at his two companions.

Ana looked at him. "I am so sorry. I had no idea."

"In my family everything is a well kept secret. Like my drug addiction. After my sister died I started taking my moms meds. She was too out of it to know. Soon enough I was taking anything I could get my hands on. When my father found out he had be thrown in rehab like he did when he couldn't handle my mom." He leaned his head against the wall. "I was there for three whole months getting clean. I was surprised when I came out and didn't crave drugs again. I didn't ever want to repeat that part of my life. I had these awful track marks up my arm and I looked like shit. I lost like, almost thirty pounds. I was surprised no one noticed sooner."

"How long did it go on for?"

"A year? Maybe eighteen months. I was out in time to start university."

"Oh god Jack, I really had no idea. This whole time..." she sighed. "I am so sorry."

"It doesn't matter. Its in the past." He stood up as wobbly as a baby fawn. "I am going back to bed."

"Careful" Hiccup said, trying not to coddle his boyfriend, but helped him back to bed.

"I told you I wasn't... good enough for you."

Hiccup shook his head. "Not even. You're perfect. You know, you rose above all that shit and you know what? That is amazing. I think I find you even more inspiring "

Jack smiled weakly. "Really?"

Hiccup nodded. "Yeah. I do."

Jack flopped down onto the bed. "Thank you."

Ana walked in. "Jack... I am so sorry."

"It's okay. You didn't know."

She approached the bed slowly. "Jack... did you ever want to tell me?" she asked cautiously.

"No."

She sat down next to him. "Jack... I wish this had never happened to you."

He nodded. "Things just get set in motion. Before I knew it I was no longer at home. While I was there, when I was growing up it all happened so slowly, but now I look back" he sighed. "I really just want to sleep."

She nodded. "I understand." She stood up. "While I have you here... And now that i know you model... would you like to model some of my designs?"

He looked up at Hiccup who nodded.

"Yeah, okay."

"Good. Great. I have a photographer already, is that okay?" she looked at Hiccup.

"Course. If you ever need a back up-"

"Thanks. You're a sweetie, Hiccup. Feel free to attend the shoots too."

He nodded. He felt a strange twist in his gut. Suddenly the idea of Jack modeling for someone else didn't sound like such a good idea. Not when Jack was so vulnerable.

...

A/N: Wow, not as bad as I originally planned, which is nice, but still. This story kinds has a mind of its own now that I have some time to smash out a few chapters.