Breaking the fourth wall chapter 2-Bitch slaps
A/N:...well this is awkward... hey... so this is the second chapter...I am sorry if there are any annoyed readers out there, all my writer energy has been taken up with my other story... I am so sorry, characters may be OOC? is that the correct term? anyway, this is my first story with these characters and everything, so yeah, on my part I apologise. I also apologise on the fact I can't write in accents, I'll do some words maybe, but don't hope.
Usual disclaimers apply.
"Oooooh Prussia~ time to wake up~" he slapped Prussia's face, "Rise and shine!" Deadpool slapped Prussia again, "Wake up" another slap, "Fine then," Deadpool proceeded to repeatedly slap Prussia, "That's for never calling just to say hi!" Slap, "That's for all the fluffy yellow birds in the world!" Slap, "That for being short…er than your brother!" Slap, "that's because I feel like it!" Slap, "That's because I get aroused when I slap people!" Deadpool laughed, slap, "WHY" Slap, "WON'T" Slap, "YOU" Slap, "WAKE" Slap, "UP!?" Slap, "Wake up!" Slap, "That's because the writers keep doing this!" Slap, "that's because I like Slapping fleshy things with this hand!" Slap, "That's being awesome in your anime!" Slap, "That's for making me love you!" Deadpool had said with a slightly higher pitch, before slapping him again and saying, "That's for making me hate you!" in a deeper pitch, before continuing in his normal voice of reasons to slap Prussia, "That's because the reader actually read up to this point!" Slap, "That's for all the hot readers out there, hey call me~" (A/N: Don't actually call me or DeathTheWriter, if you do it will be a little creepy seeing as you don't know our numbers, but feel free to call Deadpool, if you want) Deadpool, after a loud voice that was probably in darker writing was finished he continued to slap Prussia, "that's for always working late!" Slap, "That's for never washing the dishes!" Slap, "that's for being in more comics than me!" Slap, "And finally!" slap, "That's because this whole set up thing just add a huge section to the most awesome fanfiction ever devised by mutant, Country or Man!" Deadpool slapped Prussia once more before getting up. Prussia didn't move though his eyes flickered momentarily, "Well I guess he's not waking up" Deadpool said before debating with himself on what he should do.
Space and time skip brought to you by the TARDIS and the Doctor! neither of which I or DeathTheWriter own.
Meanwhile Gilbird had gone and was chirping like mad to get help for his awesome owner from the other countries.
The countries were currently having a break and Japan was reading a manga happily under a tree when America walked over and joined him, instead of manga he was reading a comic. Gilbird had reached them and was twittering to Japan. Japan looked up from his manga and at the small yellow bird,
"Gilbird?" he asked himself more than the bird. Gilbird chirped and started to tug on Japan's collar, startling the two countries. Japan stood up, looking at the American before back at the bird. Gilbird landed on Japan's shoulder, exhausted from all the flying he had done in such a short span of time, and continued to urgently chirp at him, Japan looked at America for help but he just shrugged so Japan started to walk off to find Germany. Gilbird sat on his shoulder as America followed, closing his Deadpool comic. Japan walked back into the building and to where Germany was calmly writing something in a notebook. Gilbird chirped at Germany, making him as well as the other two look at the little bird. Gilbird flew over and landed on Germany's shoulder, Japan explained what happened before turning and walking out to continue reading. Germany turned to America before the yellow bird on his shoulder.
"Do you need help with whatever the bird needs? I can help you know… 'Cause I'm the hero!" America grinned.
We'll see…" Germany told the American before looking at the bird again, "What's wrong?" he asked the tiny bird. Gilbird continued to chirp, the two countries stared at the yellow bird, one in confusion, the other in bafflement. Germany nodded at the little bird, "Of course he would get himself in trouble, but why a roof top?" Gilbird took to his wings and started to fly towards the door. Germany followed him, looking at America, "You can come if you like, Prussia got himself in trouble on a roof top," America started to follow Germany, before asking a question.
"How much trouble can you get into on a roof top" Germany glanced at him,
"It's your country… anything is possible," America glared indignity at Germany,
"Seriously dude!" America walked next to Germany the rest of the way in a mood, they followed the bird to the building top Deadpool and Prussia were on, using the stairs (Germany insisted) they made it to the top to see Deadpool sitting reading his own comic while Prussia was passed out in a puddle of drying blood,
"Oh my god! I love your costume dude!" America was starting to fangirl, due to being a huge fan of Marvel, as well as DC….well anything that had to do with superheroes. Deadpool looked up at him, "thanks?" he was unsure of how else to reply. While America continued to fangirl over Deadpool, Gilbird and Germany focused on Prussia. Germany walked over, looking at Deadpool before kneeling next to his brother. Deadpool stood and walked over to America, who was still freaking out, "oh this is so cool can I have a picture with you dude? Please, please, please, please, please?!" America was super excited. Deadpool closed the comic and threw it over his shoulder at the two Germans before nodding at the American, "sure~ anything for the country we stand in," America paused, startled,
"Dude, you know who I am?" Deadpool nodded,
"Of course! You're Alfred F. Jones! America!" Deadpool exclaimed, while America stared at him, with his mouth hanging open, completely dumbfounded, "what? S.H.I.E.L.D. has a whole file on you!"
"Yeah, I know that, but how do you know?" America looked really confused and was pausing after every word.
"Because I use to work for S.H.I.E.L.D…..?"
"Dude. You are the REAL LIFE DEADPOOL! I THOUGHT THAT YOU WERE ONLY A COMICBOOK CHARACTER!" America was back to fangirling,
"I would have thought you would have known better, I'm hurt," Deadpool said, holding a hand over his chest as he started to fake cry. Falsely. America freaked out and pulled him into a bone crushing hug,
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" he exclaimed, not really knowing that Deadpool was faking. Deadpool smirked under his mask as he got out of the Americans grip and climbed onto his back,
"Hahaha!" America laughed as well,
"Haha…I don't get it," he tried to look at Deadpool, but failed as Deadpool was on his back.
"You made a comic about me…and you question if I'm real! How dare you!"
"Whaaa?" America was definitely getting confused, "I-I didn't create you!"
"You created the comic!" Deadpool explained before sighing, getting off his back, "never mind,"
"Well, how did you meet Prussia?" America asked
"Er…" Deadpool stalled, trying to think of an excuse, " I found him injured! He had been shot as someone tried to un-alive him!" America believed him, while over with the Germans, Gilbird looked over at them, sitting on Prussia's forehead but didn't chirp anything. Germany, who had bandages on him for when Italy hurt himself, started to bandage Prussia's injuries, and he ignored what the other two were talking about. America walked over and looked at the bandages and the amount of blood, while it was life threatening for a normal human to lose that much blood, country personifications could safely lose that much and enter a coma state for a few days to a week at most. He frowned, "Why and how did he get on a rooftop?"
Deadpool stayed behind them, "It would be bad if the police saw him like that and question why he wasn't dying so I brought him up here using my grappling hook," America nodded, as Prussia began to stir, Germany looked up at his brother, as he was wrapping his leg up,
"Oh mein gott, it's been a while since I've been shot," Prussia muttered as he started to sit up,
"Are you alright bruder?" Germany asked, moving to stand,
"Ja, it's just going to be painful until it heals," Prussia rubbed his bandages, Germany nodded,
"That's good, what happened?" Prussia thought before speaking,
"well the awesome Prussia was running from the world meeting, and then when I stopped I saw a comic store so I went in and bought the awesome new Deadpool comic and another one Hetalia Axis Powers upon leaving, Deadpool shot me but I was too awesome to get caught and we ended up reading the comics and running from the cops. Then the awesome me collapsed," Prussia finished. Germany turned to look at America and Deadpool. Deadpool walked backwards, holding his hands up devensively, "he's speaking lies, he hit his head when he fell, I swear!"
"Sorry dude, but you may just want to go along with us, you don't want to go up against Germany, or Russia,"America said, looking between the two. Deadpool looked at America, "go with you where...?
Öh come on West! America! There's no need for hostilities, everything's fine,"Prussia argued with his brother and the self claimed hero as he tried to stand up. He looked off to the side, "sheesh, you try to have an awesome time with someone else awesome who gets the fourth wall and this happens!"
"Sorry bruder, but the both of you told different stories so we need to find out which of you is telling the truth," Germany explained as he helped Prussia stand.
"But it's all awesome! There's no need right?" Prussia looked to America for support, who smiled nervously. "Actually dude, I know he is a hired henchman, so we need to know why you were targeted. Well, and he would know or at least have some clue..."
"I didn't target him!" Deadpool tried to defend himself, "and who's 'he'?" he asked,
"Um, you, Deadpool?"America stated, but it ended up coming out like a question,
"Well I'm telling you, I didn't shoot him!" Deadpool explained in a somewhat desperate manner, crossing his arms as he looked away.
"How about we just go to the world meeting and sort it out there. The police could still be looking and I really need to rest insomething other than my awesome blood,"Prussia said, leaning on Germany heavily. Germany nodded,
"That would be best, then you can get someone else to help question him,"he told America, referring to Deadpool. America firmly put a hand on Deadpool's shoulder and they all headed into the building and down the stairs, before going out onto the street and down the road again.
Once they were on the path, they kept on recieving odd looks from the citizens they passed. Mainly because of what they thought was a really cool cosplayed Deadpool and a really realistic mortally injuried albino wasn't something that was seen everyday. After the walk and they were outside the main meeting room, where shouts could be heard, Germany took Prussia with him to see the nurse's office of the building to be treated better. Leaving America and Deadpool to enter. America looked at the door and gulped,
"Well, let's go and talk to the other countries, you know all the countries don't you?" he stalled, he really didn't want to go in there just yet, Deadpool nodded
"Most of them yeah, some didn't have anything in S.H.I.E.L.D.s data base," America nodded and slowly approached the door, hoping to delay just a bit more." Deadpool watched him and stared at the door before looking at something,
"You know, for a bunch of people who are meant to be countries, they make a lot of noise and argue,"
"That's mainly because we all argue...and the prank that Prussia, France and Spain set up...not to mention Germany isn't there to keep everything under control,"America thought out loud, before setting his shoulders square and opened the douple doors. The noise was even louder with the doors open, with all different accents and languages yelling at one another, a few stopping and looking at the doors that were open. Everyone fell silent as they took notice of Deadpool and America, due to the scary look of Deadpool, Italy had somehow from somewhere had grabbed a white flag. Deadpool just looked around the room unsure of what to think.
"Who the bloody hell are you? Alfred you git! You let someone follow you here!"England furrowed his bushy eyebrows.
"Actually Iggy, I was told to come here by Germany so I had to follow him,"Deadpool spoke, a thick eyebrow twitched,
"Don't call me that," he stated, with a grumble, but Deadpool ignored him and walked into the centre of the room.
"Ve, who is the scary man, and where's Germany Japan!" Italy turned to his other best friend, his hold on his flag tightened. Japan turned his gaze to Italy,
"he went somewhere, he did tell us this before he left with America, I'm sure he's fine," With everyone remembering America, they all looked at him.
"He is looking after Prussia, who got shot in the leg, and lost a lot of blood, but don't worry dudes, this is Deadpool!"
AN: okay, I am sorry for anyone who was waiting, but I can't remember this one having as many readers, maybe that's why I don't work on it as much, but, yeah, hope you enjoyed, and for my fellow Aussies, this is a special gift due to the movie that came out TODAY!
yeah that was my motivation for placing this online today, I promise the next chapter won't take as long to come out as a hopeful second movie will.
Deadpool: there will be a second! And-
Me: no don't ruin it for watchers! let them watch the teaser trailer after they watch the movie.
So people, tell me, what you think, of this the new movie if you have/haven't seen it, I really want someone to talk to,
until next time!
Wurst and Pasta!