You thought Klaud's was the official one, huh? Well, it's not cuz Klaud was too great to miss out right after Cross's
Well, enjoy!
Dear DGM Fanfiction Authors,
I only have love for my sweet, sweet Lenalee! I have no time to mess with Reever, Bak Chang-chan, or General Cross! Reever is too pushy, and Cross and Bak are dirty octopi that I must keep my Lenalee away from!
*Begins wailing* Why must you pair my sweet Lenalee with...boys? They all have those slippery tentacles that can use to wrap around dear Lenalee!
*Scans more of FFnet*
And what's this?! MY Lenalee with a NOAH?! A female, nevertheless?!
Lenalee: Brother! I already explained in my letter. I'm not going out with anyone. Calm. Down.
Calm down? *begins hyperventilating* Calm down!? How can I when you can actually be doing this?!
Lenalee: *exasperated* Brother!
*Suddenly stills and begins snickering evilly* Of course. Why haven't I thought about this? Komurin infused with Innocence…We can truly win this war...We can take over the world! We can cleanse the world of any more octopi corrupting my Lena-!
Lenalee: *Kicks him hard in his tender spot* No brother! We have enough trouble with your Komurins without the Innocence!
*Grabs his manhood tenderly* Ahh...The true pain of sibling love! *faints*
Lavi: Well, Lenalady. You really did it.
Kanda: Tch. Stupid sis-con deserves it.
Sincerely,
Komui Lee