Dear DGM Fanfiction Authors,

Well, these are some interesting rumors and theories of me going on about me. Luckily, I am finally out to tell you this.

No, I am not gay nor will I ever be.

No, I do not have hots for Allen 35 years ago. I admit, he does look like a girl, but I don't swing that way.

No, I am not a body-stealing trashlord. I am the FABULOUS body-stealing trashlord. Also, Allen was the one who offered his body to me.

Okay, maybe I have worded that weirdly. Let me try again, Allen told me that he will store my will and memory until the time comes for me to resurface. Yea, that seems about right.

And no, I do not have the hots for Mana or Millenium Earl. Seriously. That's incest. Are you out of you mind?! Me doing it with my older brother! Yikes! *shivers*

There is no way I'm going to help the Vatican. It's the true dark side of the church, thank you very much. I prefer working in my own third side, as Marian had stated before he died off like the idiotic bastard he is.

Also, really, Two-Dots? You paired me up with the Crow? I understand Allen because we go far back, but the Zelda?! Are you serious? With that serious attitude and apathetic expression as he suddenly appeared right in front of me when he's supposed to be dead with his magical floating catfish power that heals the soul and bowing before me as he stated that he'll give his life up for me, that's downright scary! I barely even know the man! Heck, he can be a molester like that Mykki Tikk!

Link: I do not find that hilarious, 14th.

Hey! Shoo! This is my letter, not yours, scary Rapunzel! You already had your time in the beginning of this series!

Link: What did you just call me?

Scary Rapunzel. It fits. You both have braided golden hair, cared about the ones who changed your minds, and have the wicked guardian who forces you both to do their bidding.

Sincerely,

Nea D Campbell, the 14th Noah, the Destroyer, the Musician, Creator of Timcanpy, brother of Mana, the other half of the Millenium Earl, the one who killed 11 Noahs 35 years ago, Owner of the White Ark, the original Mykki Tikk, the healthier one of the brothers, the…

Link: Fourteenth, that's enough.

Road: I can really see the brother resemblance.

Nea: Hey, what was that supposed to mean?! And how did you get in here, Road?!

A/N: Sorry for late posting. I've been having a hard time and feeling tired and stressed out.