Chapter 3: Truths (Part 1)

Sorry for the delay, my muse seemed to have left me these past few days, before deciding to make a reappearance today.

This chapter was too long so I decided to cut it into two parts. I'll be posting Part 2 hopefully very soon!

Truths – a truth so close to the heart has the power to change so many things.

Enjoy and all reviews are welcome.

It had been almost a week since the day in the Foundry when Oliver told them of Ra's al Ghul's offer. Since the day that Felicity spoke her mind after such a long time of feeling so helpless. A week since the truth – the truth of what Oliver was really doing - had for the first time in a long time been formed into words and had been spoken out loud.

And as truth often has the habit of doing, it had changed everything and everyone in that room that night. For all of them knew that Oliver had set himself on a path of self-destruction and as Felicity so eloquently put it, it was time they stopped helping him. It was time - if they wanted to remain a team, to not lose Oliver, to not lose Felicity – to make sure that things changed. But how?

Felicity returned to the lair every night since that night as normal. The day after, when she walked down the stairs everyone gaped at her, making her smile inwardly. So much for them thinking that she wouldn't show up after what had happened.

She refused to give her beliefs up, particularly her desire to help her team, to contribute to their collective effort to save their city. Moreover, she refused to let them – even herself - see how much pain she was in. Because even though what she had said had been true – and Felicity always spoke the truth – she still could not understand what had brought Oliver to this. Why he had reached the point where he was completely shutting her out, why he kept dangling maybes as she had phrased it before and then pushing her away.

But no matter how much her pride and her consciousness kept her going back to the lair, she would not stand by and watch Oliver go to his death. She refused to make it easy for him to break her heart yet again. So she did not so much as glance at him when they were in the lair together. And Oliver, as if he knew what she was thinking, went along with it, keeping his distance and only talking to her when necessary for the job at hand.

But tonight she hadn't gone to the foundry and for the first time that week she felt relief. She had gotten a message from Diggle telling her to take the night off, that they had it covered. She knew that her friend was giving her some of the space she desperately needed so she had returned home late after work at PT and had taken a nice long shower trying to relax. Deep down she was grateful for the distraction and tiredness that the endless piles of work that were now covering her office at PT were bringing to her.

She had just worn her yoga pants that were oh so comfortable when her doorbell rang. She jumped at the sound of it, not really expecting anyone so late. Who could it be? Not anyone from the team, she thought. Her responses to their messages over the past few days had made it clear she needed space.

'Oh god please let it not be Oliver…' She whispered, knowing her heart would never last another confrontation with him.

'Ray?' She said opening the door.

'You know you should really check who it is before you open your door.' He replied good-naturedly and walked past her into her house.

She remembered the last time he was there, when her mum had come to visit and she shook her head before following him in her house. She hoped that this would not be as embarrassing.

'Ray what are you doing here? She demanded, standing with her hands folded over her chest in the middle of the living room.

Ray ignored her question and went straight to her computer. Felicity had no choice but to follow him.

'So, I think I figured out where the problem comes from' he said while looking at her screen.

Over the past few days Ray had shown her how he had managed to get the suit to work after she made him get some rest. Felicity had been deeply impressed, if not slightly scared, that he had tried on the suit without proper testing first. Nonetheless, after a few minutes the whole suit began to treble and they had noticed that sometimes it would even shut down completely. When he almost fell 10 stories down she yelled at him for being so stupid and she made him promise not to put on the suit again until they figured out the problem. Truth was he had no choice when she threatened to make it impossible for him to access any type of electronic equipment he came across if she found out he so much as touched the ATOM suit without her knowing.

Smiling at the memory of Ray flinching under her stare and admitting defeat she had a look at what he was showing her on the screen.

'Maybe you are right' she commented about fifteen minutes later 'perhaps if we take it apart again and have a closer look.' Felicity was frowning. She loved a challenge, but this wasn't her area of expertise.

'It might be worth asking my friends in Central city for some help. They have worked with this kind of thing before. Even with getting the system to work, I'm not an engineer and I think part of the issue has to do with the hardware as well' she added.

'Hm…'

'What?'

'Nothing, I'm not saying anything'

'Ray' Felicity's eyes narrowed dangerously.

'I'm just not sure we should show this to anyone else yet.'

'Ray' She said again looking up from the computer screen and turning round in her chair. 'My friends in Central City include Dr Wells. THE Dr. Wells. They can fix this once and for all. And I'm not saying we have to go. I'm saying let's consider it if it looks like we can't fix it ourselves. You know, what with you almost getting killed and all.'

Ray's eyes had widened with the recognition of the name. He looked at Felicity next to him who had now stood up and was examining with intensity the electric circuits of the suit that Ray had brought to her house with him.

'You seem sad' Ray remarked with genuine interest. 'And don't say you are not because your eyes are red and your brain to mouth filter seems to be working – which I've noticed only happens when you are preoccupied with something else.'

'Ray…' Felicity didn't know what to say to Ray's sudden change of subject. One minute the conversation had been easy and the next… Trust Ray to notice that there was something going on. But no matter how much she felt like she needed to talk to someone she couldn't open her heart to him because half – no - most of what she needed to say where not her secrets to tell.

'Is it because of me?' He asked quietly, taking her by surprise. 'Because if it is' he continued 'Felicity tell me what I did wrong and I swear I will try and fix it. I respect you and admire you and when I'm with you I feel like myself again. So if I did anything wrong I will do anything I can to fix it.'

'Ray…' she started again. What was she going to tell him? Damn it, all these things he was saying was all she wanted to hear from him (she couldn't even say his name now?) and she felt the sense of injustice swallowing her and tears starting to well up behind her eyes so she closed them and breathed in deeply to steady herself before continuing.

'It's not you. You haven't done anything wrong. I just… I don't want to talk about it.' She said at last.

'That…that person you talked to me about? The one with the undefined relationship that you can't do anything about? Is he the reason that you are sad?' he continued ignoring what she said about not wanting to talk about it and with that she remembered the conversation she had with him in his office when she thought Oliver was dead. As if it makes any difference… She thought sadly. He was alive but would rather go to his death. He would not choose to stay and live, live for them and Felicity was never one to beg (irrespective of how close she had gotten).

'Hey I'm just saying that anyone that doesn't listen to you, doesn't appreciate you, is crazy. So stop thinking about him, life is too short to wonder about what ifs'. He was close to her now, very close and she could feel the heat from his body making her skin tickle. He smiled a crooked smile looking straight into her blue eyes and she couldn't help but shake her head in mock annoyance. It was as if Ray could see straight through to her very soul and was able to say whatever she needed to hear, no jealousy or expectations attached.

Before she knew it his mouth was on hers. He held her close wiping all the pain, all the sadness away, the heat from his mouth bringing her back into the light, the beauty, the honesty that was Felicity's true nature. They were like two people completely lost who could see a companion in each other, a hand to hold in the darkness that surrounded them before they were truly and forever lost.

Their lips parted and Ray smiled down at her, giving her another kiss on the cheek. His eyes were shiny and he yelped loudly before running back to the computer.

'I think I've figured out what the problem is.'

Trust Ray to find inspiration anywhere Felicity thought shaking her head.

She shook her head and followed him, sitting at the chair next to him immediately going back to her inner geek goddess, concentrating on what Ray was showing her on the screen.

It was only now that Felicity realised that having spoken the truth of what she felt over all these months in the Foundry she had felt liberated. And it was only because of that, that now, now that Ray sat by her side working and they chuckled on yet another geeky joke, that warmth had finally spread again in her heart.

All thoughts of Oliver Queen had been driven out of her head for the first time in months.