Chapter 6: Where do we go from here?

Oliver seems to have decided not to leave for Nanda Parbat. He has found the strength to fight the battle that has been raging inside him since the island. But what happens when he returns back home? How will things be with the rest of the team? And more importantly can he really say no to Ra's al Ghul?

Sorry for the delay in posting again but sometimes life gets in the way.

I must say I've really enjoyed reading your feedback, although I can't always incorporate all the suggestions it helps me to see different perspectives and the positive feedback really helps to keep me writing!

Overall, I think this was my favourite chapter to write up until now, and that really is saying something given that I've loved writing every single bit of this story!

I hope you like it as much as I did and I made it super long to make it up to you!

I just wanted to say one more thing before I let you get back to the story:

This chapter was inspired by a song I love, 'Do I wanna know' by Arctic Monkeys, which I've also incorporated into the story.

So when you reach the point where the song lyrics appear listen to it as you read them. I promise it makes all the difference in the world to the feel of the story!

Oh and…happy reading! Can't wait to hear your feedback!

P.S. This chapter is for my lovely cuz J. who's given me the much needed energy and inspiration to continue writing!

When Oliver woke from the dream, the vision he had, of Sara and his father, he stood on that rooftop looking down at the city yet again as it slowly lit up with the dawn light. But unlike all the times before, he felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. He felt lighter than he had in a long time. Like he could carry all the weight of the world on his – which he often did - but now everything would be all right.

These past few months had been hard on him, he had lost his faith – he was ashamed to admit – not only in himself, but also in everything and everyone. Seeing his dad and Sara and having them wrenched away from him again had been painful, but they had managed to remind him of all the things that he was fighting for; freedom and safety and all that was good in this world. And Oliver was starting to believe again in himself and what he had dedicated his life to. Yes, he had done bad things, he had hurt and killed people and he had risked the lives of those around him countless times and coming to peace with this wouldn't happen over night. But now he could also remember the smiles on the faces of the people he helped when they saw their families again, when they themselves took strength from all that he did and fought back to protect Starling and its people.

It was afternoon when Oliver decided it was time to move. The shadows where he was standing were still hiding him well, but now he needed to move. He tried to stay in the shadows as he moved across the city, but soon he found himself rushing back to the Foundry and taking the steps two at a time down to the lair. All was dark, but he wasted no time in looking around – Oliver knew that no one would be there. None of them had returned to the lair since that night that he left and Oliver knew that if he had truly gone to Nanda Parbat it would have taken them a long time to do so, although they eventually would – their desire to do good overcoming everything else.

He made for the glass case and took his hood, eager to put it on. He felt that he wanted to have a chance to patrol once over the city with it now that the sun was setting soon again. This made it, in his mind, official. That he was here to stay and he was here to fight.

Not long after, he ran out of the lair again. He took his bike, but soon abandoned it to climb rooftops and hide in the shades of the buildings. When he reached the police station he saw through the window Captain Lance still hard at work in his office. He didn't hesitate when he picked an arrow out of his quiver and readied his bow. The arrow he released hit dead centre in the board that had Starling's most wanted on it. A message to Captain Lance and the police force. The vigilante was back.

As he turned around to leave he caught sight of Lance moving quickly towards the board where police officers were already gathering. But before they realised what had just happened, the Arrow was already gone.

Diggle was setting the table, he had put the plates and cutlery down and was lighting a candle he wanted to put in the centre of the table. He could hear Lyla putting baby Sara down in her cot, talking to her quietly and lulling her to sleep, as he took a step back to observe his work. He smiled inwardly at himself; Lyla loved it when he was being romantic even if she would never admit it.

Diggle straightened the tablecloth's edge and glanced out the window, as had been his habit to do every little while these past few days, before returning to the task at hand shaking his head. Why do you still do that man? He chastised himself for continuing to look for his long gone friend.

But… Diggle head snapped back in a split second and he stared intently out the window to the building across the street. He thought he saw someone, not just someone, Oliver rather, standing there, looking right at him.

No matter how hard he looked, though, he couldn't see anything.

No…It's probably just my imagination. He thought to himself, but he couldn't look away.

No, no… He continued thinking while scanning all the buildings across the street. He can't be here. He left. But a few seconds later – or what felt like hours to Diggle - there he was. Standing on the fire escape just across the street, hidden in the shadows. No wonder I couldn't see him.

Diggle observed with surprise and approval that Oliver was wearing his hood. He smiled at the man standing across from him and he gave him a small smile back. They looked at each other for just a second, acknowledging that Oliver chose to stay, before he turned round and disappeared through the window into the building. Diggle wondered what had made him change his mind, as he continued looking at the same, but now empty, spot, but that was a question that could wait until tomorrow.

'Sara is asleep. Dinner?' Lyla asked having come out of the baby room without him noticing and putting her arms around his waist and hugging him from behind.

Diggle chuckled lightly and shook his head again as he turned round to face Lyla. He put his right arm protectively around her shoulders, and pulled her towards the table.

'Yes, I'm starving.'

Oliver was glad to see John Diggle. The man was like his brother, a man that came to be his best friend very unexpectedly, but who – now – Oliver could not imagine his life without.

But as he run across the city rooftops he knew there was one more person he wanted to see before he went home to his sister. Who stood by him through thick and thin and who was also his best friend and partner.

Felicity was standing infront of the window in her living room, her hands lightly placed on the bottom frame. She was still in her work clothes, her hair was caught in its usual ponytail, her glasses perched up on her nose and she wore a navy blue pencil skirt and a white shirt paired with long golden earrings. She didn't care about changing though. The weather had been nice that day and she was determined to enjoy the warm breeze before the night swept it away. Frankly, it was the only thing that made her feel warm.

That's where she was when she saw him.

He was up on the two-story house just across the street and to the left from hers. He was standing tall, his hood and mask on, his bow in his right hand and his quiver hanging low on his back. He appeared so suddenly - one moment there was no one there, the next he was standing there observing her - that he seemed like an illusion and Felicity had to blink a few times before she was certain that he was real. That he was back.

He was close enough and standing in a way that the moonlight illuminated him and she could see his face. Or maybe she could just imagine seeing the bright blue eyes that had been haunting her, beneath the hood, piercing her skin.

She stared, taking in every little bit of him. The way he was standing, that his hands were hanging loosely on his sides as he observed her. That he was truly there. That he hadn't gone off to Nanda Parbat forever.

He nodded.

She nodded. Just a slight movement of her head, acknowledging his presence.

So curt. So…collected.

She blinked.

He was gone.

He was not there when she took a step closer, practically pushing herself against the window, a step closer to where he had been standing.

Nor was he there when her hands tightly grasped the windowsill till her knuckles turned white.

When her legs gave out and she sank to the floor just below.

She could feel the tremors racking her body as she hugged her knees as close as she could to her chest. Her heart was racing and she felt it would jump out her body any minute now making her push her palms hard against her chest.

The tears she was expecting never came, however. She felt as hollow as she did since he left.

However, she could breathe. For the first time since she had stared into Thea Queen's eyes realising that Oliver had gone off to become Ra's al Ghul, she felt air returning to her lungs. She was no longer suffocating.

But she was having a panic attack. She felt too much. She felt everything. And she didn't want to feel anymore. She promised herself she wasn't going to feel anymore.

She couldn't even begin to comprehend why he chose to stay and if it meant he was staying for good or he'd be gone again before she caught her breath. Even more, she didn't know where she stood with him anymore and what his return meant – if it meant anything that was – for them.

Oliver felt he had roamed the city enough for one night. He couldn't wait to get home – his new home, the one he shared with Thea. He had never wanted to return home so badly in the last three years since he had returned. Not even when he was 'rescued' from the island. He had this gut feeling it had something to do with starting to feel like he belonged for exactly who he was and not because he had to fit a label.

He had shed the hood and was back to wearing his usual leather jacket and a grey t-shirt before he went to the penthouse. It was late, the club wasn't open on Mondays and he was expecting Thea to be asleep.

He found her sitting on the couch with Roy, talking quietly, a glass of red wine in her hand, when he walked in. They hadn't heard the soft click of the door as it opened, and he spent a second looking at them. When he made to walk towards them they both turned abruptly; suddenly realising that they were no longer alone. Perhaps they thought it was Malcolm – he was also known for turning up unannounced.

Roy smiled widely and Thea screamed 'Ollie!'.

She run towards him and hugged him hard before taking a step back and giving him a slap on the arm.

'You scare me like that again I'll kill you! I got the skills now, remember?' She said before taking his hand and pulling him towards the couch where she sat with Roy.

The next day, they were all at the foundry, no invitation needed. Their mood was no longer grim, but rather an easy happiness seemed to have taken over the room. Diggle gave Oliver a one-arm hug and Felicity smiled brightly at him from her desk. She didn't make a move to hug him, as she would have in the past. Her heart couldn't really take it any more. A few seconds later Laurel was hugging him tightly and giving him a peck on the cheek.

Oliver looked at Laurel, a questioning look on his face.

'Felicity called' she offered as explanation and she smiled warmly at him.

Oliver wasting no time looked around to make sure all of them were paying attention 'It's good to be back. But there's work to do. Lance called. We need to trace someone known as Murmur.' He started, explaining that Murmur was released from prison not long ago and that there were suspicions that he was planning something big.

Of course he is not going to give us any explanations. Why do you ever expect more?

Soon Felicity was on her computer trying to find where he was hiding and ping his phone so they could figure out and stop whatever he was planning. She felt more at peace now that she was doing what she knew best and seeing the easiness with which they had gone back to work had made her relax a bit. She had been dreading the 'reunion', fearing that it would go as badly as most of her recent encounters with Oliver had.

'So why is he called Murmur?' Roy asked while sitting on the medical bay, his curiosity never ending.

Oliver, who was standing a few feet behind her, sent him a weird look that looked like an ill concealed smile before responding. Smile?

'Because his mouth is sawn shut'

'Sawn like sawn sawn?' Roy continued his eyes wide.

'What do you mean his mouth is sawn shut? Why would anyone do that?' Felicity couldn't stop herself. Damn her mouth for getting the best of her.

'Well…' Oliver replied a smirk on his face. Oliver Queen smirking? What was happening? She thought. Who is this man and what did he do to Oliver Queen?

'That's funny Oliver. Ha ha. Yes my brain to mouth filter fails me. On multiple occasions. But that's just plain overreacting.' Felicity answered back, her eyes narrowing, before she could stop herself again and turned back to her screens.

'Plus you are one to talk.' She added not a second later.

'What does that even mean?' he answered back, an incredulous expression on his face, but his tone was still playful and Roy chuckled loudly behind him.

She ignored his question and was glad the loud beeping of the computer sounded before he could speak again.

The next few hours were quiet and Felicity could hear the three of them practicing behind her. She kept her back to them, unwilling to go back to her routine of staring. She didn't think she could handle half naked Oliver looking at her in that moment.

'Okay I'm in.' She said a while later. 'I'll be able to track his movements soon and will know if he makes any phone calls.' Oliver approached and stood on her left hand side to look at the screen and she was pleased to note that he was fully dressed.

'Good. Let me know if anything comes up.' He answered before moving away again.

Before he could take another step, though, Roy spoke again, going back to sit on the medical bay as he had before.

'Why did you decide to stay?' he asked, his questions still unanswered even though he saw Oliver the night before. But seeing Diggle's stern look he added 'I mean we are glad you did! I'm just…'

Felicity sighed quietly before looking up to see what Oliver was going to say. So much for thinking it was going to be okay and that she could survive today. Roy was going to ruin the only time that she had seen Oliver remotely happy these past few months, remotely decent towards her – not yelling, or ignoring her. She had been dreading – above anything else - the moment this question would come up not knowing if she wanted to know the answer. What if he said he was going to leave again? Why was he acting so…different anyway? Her hands tightened reflexively around the armrests of her chair but the flood of emotions she was expecting never came. It seemed like her heart had listened to the promise she made herself on the floor of her apartment the night before. She felt…almost nothing.

Oliver did not seem phased by Roy's question although he seemed to notice that all four of them had turned and were looking at him. He just seemed to be pondering how to reply before simply saying 'We have a lot of work to do right here for now' and walking back to the training mat.

What does that even mean? Is his return only temporary then? But Oliver – oh how shocking – Felicity thought, seemed unwilling to share any more information with them.

'What about Ra's al Ghul?' Laurel asked, echoing everyone's thoughts.

Oliver turned again to look at them.

'Ra's… He won't like it that I refused his offer. I don't think that for him no was ever an option.' Oliver said looking from one face to the next, his eyes finally resting on Diggle who had been the one to always insist that Ra's' offer was not truly an offer.

'I don't know how he'll react. But he won't let it go so easily. At least I know this much. Things…things will become difficult.' He added, his eyes glazing over in a way that Felicity knew was him still wondering if staying was the right choice, already blaming himself for the wrath of Ra's al Ghul and what it would mean for Starling when he'd realise that Oliver wasn't going to Nanda Parbat.

'Look if you want to go, you can go.' He finished, echoing Felicity's thoughts. He was trying to save them. Why did he never realise they made their own choices?

'Whatever happens, we'll figure it out…together.' Felicity answered back.

'Okay' He replied simply, giving her a warm smile that almost melted whatever barrier she had set up. Wait what?

'Oh so you've finally figured out we are here for the long run?' Diggle teased him, shaking his head.

'Yeah, I realised I'm stuck with you guys.' He joked back.

Oliver is joking now? What's going on? Felicity thought she must have been dreaming.

'Hey!' Felicity said, unable to stop herself from joining in. 'Stuck?' A big fake frown on her face. What was happening to her? To Oliver? What was happening to all of them?

Oliver grinned at her and it reminded her of how it used to be between the two of them all those months before, easy and friendly and she felt herself relax as she looked up at his face.

The ringing of her phone brought them out of the moment and Felicity turned round and looked at the screen frowning before standing up.

'I need to go to work. Ray… I need to do some things. I'll let you know when I find out more about Murmur.' She corrected herself, but she was sure Oliver knew what she had meant to say as he nodded at her.

She put on her coat, straightened her ponytail and grabbed her bag before heading for the stairs. She stopped infront of him and looked into his blue eyes.

She didn't understand why Oliver was different, what had happened. She could still see the same man who was struggling with who he was and what his choices meant for himself and for others, but there was something else there. Something she couldn't put her finger on. And as usual he didn't seem willing to tell her.

'Oh and Oliver? I'm glad you decided to stay' she said simply before turning around and walking out of the foundry. Maybe she didn't know anything when it came to him anymore but at least she knew this much.

Diggle couldn't stop himself from chuckling as he looked at his two best friends across the room.

He didn't know what had made Oliver stay and why he was so acting so happy and playful. And he knew that not knowing would also be making Felicity uncomfortable and worried. She had been truly broken when she thought he left forever and he had spend all the time Oliver was away wishing he knew where he was so he could go grab him and shake him till he saw what was right infront of his eyes.

Where had this easy friendship come from Diggle didn't know but he was hoping it would last.

Those two idiots seem to have reached a compromise.

By going back to the friendship they had shared before and the respect and companionship perhaps their relationship could be saved from the downward spiralling direction it had taken over the past few months.

But as his friend returned to their sparring, Diggle was sure he could still see in his eyes the depths to which Oliver wanted to have what he was denying himself and he was wondering how long his friend was going to last before he gave in and allowed himself to take everything he ever desired.

They didn't manage to find Murmur fast enough. By the time they realised what he was doing and they had gone to stop him it was too late. He had managed to escape with most of the diamond bullets he had set out to get.

But when he had stormed the police station they were more than ready. They arrived at the scene only to find Murmur's gangsters easily killing policemen by using the diamond bullets to go through their armour.

Oliver went for Murmur himself while the others along with the police fought Murmur's gang.

Murmur tried to strangle Captain Lance, but Oliver's arrow in his shoulder stopped him. Murmur was delirious, he fled the scene but Oliver was faster than him. He was soon fighting Murmur again.

Murmur had tried to strangle him, but Oliver was had a newfound strength to push him forward and had soon knocked him out and left him into police custody.

At the same time, the rest of the team was doing a great job in stopping the rest of the gang and although some of them fled, most of them were sent to Iron Heights along with Murmur.

For the first time in a long time they were working as a well-oiled machine again. Together. A team.

They returned to the lair in good spirits to find Felicity sitting in her chair smiling up at them. Felicity saved her brightest smile for Laurel who came in last. She knew the other woman had been having a particularly bad time and she often also got yelled at by Oliver who thought this was the best way to protect her.

'Good job Laurel.' Oliver caught her by surprise, however. 'Keep it up'.

Laurel seemed as shocked as Felicity felt, but she smiled brightly after that.

It wasn't five minutes after they returned that Thea came barrelling down the stairs of the lair. She may not be an official member of team Arrow, but she would often come down to check on them and see what was going on.

She stopped at the bottom of the stairs seeing Oliver chuckling quietly at the other end of the room with Diggle looking at a picture of baby Sara.

'Hey, what happened to Mister Gloomy over there?' She asked Laurel.

'Thea!' He roared. 'You know I can hear you right?' But he smiled at her after that.

Thea walked amused towards him giving him a brief hug.

'Okay, who are you and what have you done to my brother?' She asked. 'You know what, I don't want to know, I'm just glad you seem happy. I take it the mission went well then?'

Before Oliver could say another word Roy launched into a detailed explanation of what happened to Thea, who seemed interested to hear more.

'Well done, big brother. Seems like you haven't lost your touch.' She joked and then excitedly added 'Hey how about we go out? I mean like all of us? I know you are Oliver Queen and the Arrow and all, and you are super busy, but maybe you can spare some of your precious time for friends and family?' She teased Oliver nudging him with her elbow.

'Thea!' He said again and she pouted her lips.

'We could go man. With Murmur behind bars and no news from Ra's… there's nothing urgent.' Diggle said tentatively.

'Good. How about dinner tomorrow? I mean you can come to Verdant if you want, but maybe we can go somewhere else for a change?' Thea continued excitedly, her young age showing.

'Where do you…' Laurel asked but was interrupted before she could finish.

'Big Belly Burger!' Diggle and Felicity said together and started laughing.

'What…?' Thea started

'Don't even ask' Roy said, but his voice was light. 'It was 'their spot' back when it was just the three of them and apparently also had a life.'

'It's a date! Got to head back up cause club's not closed yet, but see you tomorrow!' Thea yelled behind her shoulder as she went up the stairs leaving them all looking at her.

The next evening Felicity found herself rushing to get home to change from work before heading to the restaurant. She had texted Diggle telling him she was running a bit late before pulling her work dress off.

Despite what they did every single day, the success of stopping Murmur and the renewed friendship between her and Oliver made her feel 25 again instead of 50. She didn't know why Oliver changed his mind – well to be fair she knew little about why he did anything lately. She was glad she had pushed all those emotions to the depths of her heart, because she wouldn't be able to live another day this way. But, no matter what, she was glad that he seemed happier. More like himself than he'd been lately. She was also glad that they had at least reached an unspoken agreement to be friends again. It made it easier to be around each other and she had missed being able to talk to him. Maybe this way, one day, she'd get over him.

It was a hot evening, summer was fast approaching and after a quick shower she decided to put on her contacts and let her hair free from the usual ponytail. They fell in soft curls framing her face and she put on soft make up, but keeping her bright pink lipstick that she loved so much.

Feeling daring she chose a black skirt that fell on her hipbones perfectly, but was a bit shorter than her usual choice of knee length, coming a bit below mid thigh. The slit it had on the right side exposed most of her right leg when she moved, but she didn't care. She paired it with a casual bright pink strappy top that fell loosely on her torso, which she pushed the end of inside her skirt. Her black strappy heels only made her legs longer and when she looked in the mirror before running out, she barely recognised herself. She hadn't been out (except for formal company dinners) in a very long time, but she thought she had done a good job.

When she got to the restaurant everyone was already there, sitting in a big booth. Diggle, Oliver and Laurel on one side and Thea and Roy on the other.

Everyone looked up at her and she noticed Oliver's eyes darken for a second as he took her in, before he turned to continue to their conversation he was having with Diggle. Before she could place what she had seen there Thea squealed and got up to give her a squeeze. They hadn't been very close in the past, but Felicity seemed to be drawn by both the Queen siblings.

'Whoa. You look hot.' Thea said wiggling her eyebrows at her and Felicity laughed before sitting next to her.

They ordered their food and talked about nothing and everything.

As they were laughing with an embarrassing story of Oliver that Thea was sharing, Thea had leaned on to Roy and gave him a peck.

'You two are…? Felicity asked. She hadn't realised.

And Thea smiled widely.

'Yes' Thea answered.

'No' Roy said at the same time looking terrified at Oliver.

The table erupted into laughter again.

'Don't make me regret my decision Harper.' Thea threatened her finger pointed at Roy.

'Be careful Roy, you are in trouble. She's almost as scary as he is. It's the genes.' Felicity teased them.

'Have you heard yourself when you are angry?' Oliver teased back and Felicity narrowed her eyes at him.

Diggle chuckled loudly and shook his head at his two best friends. Would they ever learn?

They laughed long into the night and even Oliver chuckled from time to time, unable to stay unaffected by their infectious happiness.

Anyone looking from outside in that moment, could only see a group of friends, young and untroubled, sharing a meal and enjoying each other's company.

Felicity didn't know what had brought her back to the foundry so late, although it hadn't been the first time. She had taken to going back to the lair after everyone was gone over the past three years from time to time, especially this past year what with all that had happened between her and Oliver. The foundry was supposed to be his thing, but when she had no sleep or nightmares came, she would go and sit in her chair.

There was no point denying she was having a particularly tough time right now. Renewed friendship and happiness or not when she had left the diner and headed home alone in her car, the pain threatened to take over. It was difficult being close to him again and feeling like she didn't know him at all. The wound that had opened up after that very first and only date they had just kept getting bigger and bigger.

And she loved the low hum of her computers in the background. It felt strangely comforting – her only constant in life. Unlike people, they never let her down.

She would usually watch a series she loved or a movie until she fell asleep and would only make a move to go home before dawn so Oliver wouldn't catch her there.

But tonight she felt like listening to music. Well, to be fair she only listened to the same song over and over again these past few weeks. She loved Arctic Monkeys. But that counted right?

She borrowed Oliver's secret Russian vodka stash and took a glass out of the small kitchen they had in the back. She needed a drink.

She sat on her chair and turned towards her screen, turning the music on. She made to push her glasses up the rim of her nose before she remembered that she was wearing contact lenses and poured herself a drink instead. She cranked the music up just enough so it filled the quiet room she was sitting in and she laid back in her chair taking a sip.

Have you no idea that you are in deep?

I dreamt about you nearly every night this week

How many secrets can you keep?

Cause there's this tune I found that makes me think of you somehow and I play it on repeat

Until I fall asleep

Spilling drinks on my settee

The drink was strong. She could feel her head becoming just a tiny bit fuzzy soon.

The song spoke about everything she was feeling. She could feel tears threatening to fall and anger rose inside her. To hell with him if he was going to pull her in and shut her out again.

A shuffling noise scared her and she turned around abruptly to see Oliver standing behind her without a shirt on, his arms at his sides and she hurried to wipe her eyes.

He was closer than she expected, less than two feet away from her chair. She couldn't look away from his naked torso which was covered by a light film of sweat.

He must have been watching her for a while. Oh God.

'What are you doing here so late?' He asked.

'I…I…' She swallowed and tried to look at his face.

Why did he have to be shirtless whenever she had to focus?

'I come here sometimes when you guys are gone. It helps me think. What are you doing here?' She finally blurted out.

He regarded her quietly before saying 'Just working out.'

She didn't ask but she knew that working out was his way of keeping the nightmares away.

They looked at each other and Felicity remembered all the things she had meant to say before he had 'left' for Nanda Parbat. She couldn't keep hiding anymore. This game they were playing wasn't working for her.

'Oliver?' She said tentatively and he turned round to look at her.

'I don't know why you changed your mind, but I meant what I said. I'm glad you decided to stay.' She gave him one of the smiles she had saved just for him.

'You know… I made the mistake of giving up on you once. I just wanted to say I'm sorry.' She continued.

She wouldn't have been able to live with herself if he had left because he thought he wasn't good enough, that this was the only way to protect her, to protect them.

'Felicity…I…'

'No listen. I just wanted you to know. I believe in you. You are a good man Oliver. You deserve so much more than you think and I'll tell you every day for the rest of our lives if that's what it will take for you to believe me.' She said tilting her head to the right and she could see his expression change, becoming softer, sadder and he almost took a step towards her, but seemed to stop himself.

They remained quiet for a few moments just looking at each other.

'Are you happy, Felicity?' He asked finally and she knew who he was referring to.

'Yes' she said more forcefully than she meant to and she didn't know who she was trying to convince most. 'Ray's great. I know he took the company from you and all, but he's kind and caring and… He wants a partner, an equal.'

That last one was a jab at him, but she didn't care.

He nodded 'That's good.'

Silence had fallen between the two of them again when she realised the song she had been listening to had started over and Oliver's attention was shifting towards it.

She moved to turn the volume down.

Before she knew what was happening, however, he had grasped her elbow hard, stopping her from moving towards the computer. She didn't expect him to touch her and she froze on the spot. She should have pulled her hand away, she knew it would be bad for her later, but she didn't care.

'You've been playing this on repeat for a while. Not just today.' He observed quietly, his eyes never leaving hers. 'I want to listen to it too.' He added when she made to object and she shivered under his stare.

She knew she had no choice, but she felt her cheeks flaming up as the lyrics she'd been listening to over and over again these past few months like a prayer filled the room.

…Until I fall asleep

Spilling drinks on my settee

Do I wanna know

If this feeling flows both ways

It's hard to see you go

I was sort of hoping that you'd stay

Baby we both know

That the nights were mainly made for saying things that you can't say tomorrow day

Crawling back to you

Ever thought of calling when you've had a few?

Cause I always do

Maybe I'm too busy being yours to fall for somebody new

Now I've thought it through

Crawling back to you

She watched his eyes as they fell to the bottle on her desk and the half empty glass next to it before turning to look into hers with the most piercing look. Of course he knew it was about him.

His eyes then flickered to the slit of her skirt making her shiver under his stare.

She could see them darken, burning holes in her exposed skin and his grasp on her arm tightened.

How was it possible that the room that felt so calm before now sparked with energy? She could feel a fire starting to burn between them and she was sure it would consume her whole if she didn't run out soon, but his grasp was so strong and her knees weak. She couldn't move.

So have you got the goods?

Been wondering if your heart's still open and if so I want to know what time it shuts

Simmer down and pucker up

I'm sorry to interrupt it's just I'm constantly on the cusp of trying to kiss you

I don't know if you feel the same as I do

Her eyes flickered to his lips with the lyrics and she turned back to see in his eyes how he fought and lost the control he so desperately clung on to.

He took a step towards her and she involuntary took a step back.

Before she knew what was happening he was pushing her hard against the wall just on the right side of the staircase.

As her back came in contact with the cold concrete she shivered.

He stood between her legs, forcing her to place them on each side of his waist and lifting her slightly from the floor so her feet barely touched it. He held her there as his hand made its way up her thigh were the slit of her skirt left the skin exposed.

Suddenly his hands pulled hers on each side of her head pinning them there so she couldn't move, her body completely trapped by his.

She gasped and his mouth was on hers hard and fast.

His lips were nothing like she remembered; no… they were so, so much better. Warm and soft, and they fit hers perfectly.

His kiss was insistent and desparate and rough. Soon his mouth moved hungrily across her jaw, sucking every spot it could find, tugging at her earlobe before finding her lips again and demanding access.

His tongue invaded her mouth and she thought she wouldn't have been able to stand if he wasn't holding her.

She kissed him back with the same fervour, enjoying the way his body was touching all of hers, every bit of reason and caution that this was a very bad idea thrown out the window.

She wanted to touch him so much, to touch him everywhere she hadn't allowed herself to over these past few months, and the fact he had her pinned so she couldn't move infuriated her.

His lips kept a relentless rhythm making her toes curl with the desire that was coursing through her body and when he growled her name she could feel all the walls she'd been building to protect whatever was left of her heart come crumbling down around her.

All of a sudden she found herself pushing him away, her body begging him to stop, but he was too big. His mouth still coved hers but she still cried his name in an attempt to stop him. She couldn't handle his touch anymore, all the emotions she'd been pushing behind walls to survive were threatening to flood her and she couldn't breathe.

She pushed again with all her strength till he stopped kissing her. Sensing her panic he let her slide down until her feet touched the floor, but made no move to allow her to leave.

She could hear steps and voices in the background.

'Oliver! Felicity!' Diggle's voice was booming around the lair, anger and worry clear in his voice.

But she couldn't concentrate on them.

'Please…Oliver…' Her voice sounded strangled as she looked up into his eyes.

'I can't.' She said, tears streaming down her face and her eyes told him that she truly couldn't do this. Because of Ray, because she wanted more, because she was more broken herself than she dared to admit.

When he took a step back she ran.

She ran up the stairs, past Diggle and Roy, outside.

Where she could breathe again.