PART THREE
Daniel put his empty water cup back down on the table and watched Rodney's retreating back. That had been a weird conversation. Rodney was clearly afraid of saying he respected Daniel, but why could he only give compliments to the dying? Was he afraid Daniel would live to tell? Was it the competition thing again? Daniel had been both amused and annoyed when Rodney still made everything into a competition even after Daniel had told him he'd seen through the other man's actions. What was the point of working through the night if you only did it to see how long you could stay awake? They were grown men, not kids. Even after Daniel had pointed out that he and Rodney actually had something in common here, Rodney had kept on competing.
And hadn't Rodney actually blamed Daniel for everything that happened? He'd certainly shown that he regretted having Daniel around, if his words were anything to go by. He'd been trying to escape on his own when Daniel was talking to the Asgard, and at least he'd said he didn't have any intention of bringing Daniel along, thinking he was dead. Daniel had worked with Rodney before, and although not worked with him alone, he'd seen the man in action many times. The comments about Daniel being expendable and taking back compliments when confronted with them had to be insecurity. Daniel didn't really think Rodney would have left him there to die if he had a choice, and he doubted Rodney really blamed Daniel for what had happened. He might not understand why Daniel wanted to talk to the rogue Asgard or the way Daniel worked when confronted with an enemy and given the chance to negotiate, but he was intelligent and not completely without heart, so Daniel didn't take much offense. It was annoying though, to be confronted at every opportunity and having to stand up for everything said or done. It had definitely kept Daniel on his toes throughout.
Daniel sighed. And now, after all they'd been through together, he couldn't even admit to Daniel that he respected him. Daniel respected Rodney. There was no doubt about the other mans intelligence and achievements. Shaking his head, Daniel fumbled for the bed controls and let the bed slide back to a reclining position. It'd hurt trying to eat, so much so that he'd even admitted it to Rodney. He'd not noticed when being awake before, but every nerve and muscle in his body still tingled and burned as from too much use. He'd been in pain after waking up before, but except for turning onto his side earlier he hadn't really moved much before attempting to eat. Or he'd been too doped up on pain killers to feel much of anything.
He was glad to have heard from his team though. Landry wanted him to recover at home and that warmed Daniel's heart more than he'd be willing to admit and he fell asleep with a smile on his face despite the pain and discomfort. He was going home.
*****
"You ready?" Dr. Keller asked, placing his bag and briefcase by his bed.
"Yeah." Daniel said. He felt better for a night's sleep but the tingling sensation was still there, as was the pain, and he couldn't move much without feeling the pull of his stitches. The nausea was better, so yeah, he was ready to go home. Thinking about it, he was very much looking forward to getting back to Earth. It was a bit disappointing that he couldn't be around longer, but if it meant being without his team for a long period of time, he'd rather be home and with them. He could always come back and visit later. It'd been a hard blow when he first missed his trip here because of Vala's arrival, but he'd come to relish his visits instead. It was better than nothing and he avidly followed the weekly reports as much as he could.
"I'm ready. Thank you." He tried for a smile but his facial muscles still hurt and it was a weak one. "I'm sorry."
"Not to worry. And you're welcome. I hope to see you again here soon, but not as a patient." Dr. Keller said with a stutter. "Not that I won't help you if you get sick or injured of course, but you know what I mean."
"Yeah. Yeah, I do. I'll try to avoid occupying any of your beds the next time."
"Bye." She gave him a small wave and tapped her earpiece, talking into it. "He's ready to go."
*****
Daniel had gone through stargates in many a fashion: He'd been carried through in a fireman's carry, he'd been carried on a stretcher and he'd been held up by the aid of his team mates, yet still on his feet. But his personal favourite was walking through completely healthy, with no aid whatsoever. So now, strapped to a gurney placed in a semi-upright position with some leads still attached and wearing scrubs, Daniel was less than happy about his ride home. When he'd been moved from the bed to the gurney he'd almost passed out as the movement caused all his sensitive nerve endings to come to life. Dr. Keller had deemed him well enough for the short trip through the gate but nonetheless insisted on giving him a mild sedation to make the ride though easier in case going through the wormhole played havoc with his heart or caused him more pain. A medical team was going to meet him on the other side, but she wanted to be sure he got home safely. Daniel had reluctantly agreed, wanting to arrive home alert and aware. He was awake but felt like everything was going in slow motion. Thinking about it, no matter how much he desired it, Daniel didn't think he'd be able to change into his own clothes and walk through on his own without passing out or screaming in agony.
Daniel was glad to go back, but as he lay there waiting for the gate to come to life, he was sorry to let Janus lab go. He'd be back to visit Atlantis, he knew that, but the next time he'd probably be working on something else and other scientists would have to figure out Janus lab and he only read the report.
"Hey, Rodney?" Daniel turned his head to see McKay and Sheppard standing by his side, waiting to see him through.
"Yeah?"
"Did you seal the lab off?"
"Not yet. But no one is allowed in there. I still want to find out if there is anything we can use there."
"Okay. You'll tell me if you find anything, won't you?"
"Not likely." Rodney muttered, but Daniel heard anyway.
"Come on!" Daniel said exasperated. "You can't still go on about the competition thing. I thought you'd give me some leeway by now."
"Right, as if that'd ever happen." Rodney said, trying for a pout but a smile crept in. "I'll tell you," he finally said.
"Thanks."
The gate came to life, and the medic waiting by the end of his gurney started pushing him towards it.
"Bye!" He waved in the general direction of McKay and Sheppard.
"Safe trip," Sheppard said, waving to Daniel's back.
And then he was gone, the wormhole sucking him in and spitting him out on the other side.
*****
"How is he?" SG-1 had been impatiently standing outside the doors to the infirmary, waiting for Dr. Lam to give them the all clear to come in and see Daniel. They'd waited for him in the gate room, and after a short round of greetings he was whisked away to the infirmary to be placed in a proper bed and checked out by Dr. Lam. Now the doctor finally opened the door to the infirmary, but instead of letting them in, she came out into the hallway, closing the door behind her.
"Doc?" Mitchell said concern evident in his voice. "How is he? What's going on?"
"He's fine. Tired, but fine. He'll recover fully, but--"
"That's great," Sam smiled. "Can we see him?"
"In a moment," Dr. Lam said, continuing as if she'd not been interrupted. "But as you know he was exposed to radiation as well as the lightening, and although the radiation wasn't nearly as bad as the last time he was exposed to it, there was some minute residue and some deterioration to his cells. The cells needed to be removed in order to not cause further damage." Dr. Lam said, looking at them in turn. "That plus the internal bleeding from the shock to his body caused by the surges, is why he had surgery on Atlantis. They had to remove a small piece of his colon. Also, his nerves are pretty sensitized. He is still weak and in pain. He'll want to get out of here in no time, but the reality of it is that when I release him he'll be on medical leave for a while. So," She held up a finger to halt the team as they clearly were impatient to enter the infirmary. "He'll be miserable for a while still. Don't make it worse on him by taxing him."
"We wouldn't dare on tiring him out," Vala said, indignantly.
"Right," Carolyn Lam laughed and let them in. "Ten minutes now."
"Hey guys," Daniel smiled as he saw his team enter the infirmary single file and honing in on his bed. Teal'c took up position by the end of the bed, looking at him intently. Sam and Vala both hugged him then fought for space to sit on his bedside and Mitchell found a chair and sat down.
"Hey, Sunshine," Mitchell greeted. "How you doin'?"
"Better." Daniel said, and he was, mostly because he was back home with his team.
"It is good to see that you are recovering," Teal'c said.
Daniel moved around a little, trying to sit up, but with both Sam and Vala sitting on his blankets, it was an impossible task. "Um… could you move a little? I need to sit up." Both women hopped down from his bed immediately and helped get him into a semi-reclining position, fluffing pillows and tucking blankets. Finally done Daniel sat back with a sigh, allowing their mothering for the moment. He'd fuss too if one of the others had been away and came back bedridden. "Thanks."
"No problem, sweetie." Vala said, sitting by his feet, taking them into her lap and absentmindedly patting them through the sheets.
Daniel squirmed under her ministrations. "Sorry, I'm kind of sensitive to touch still." He blushed and looked away, hating to admit he was in pain, even to his friends.
After Jack left the SGC for Washington, Sam for Area 51 and Teal'c left for Dakara, Daniel had found himself again building those brick walls he'd been so good at putting up around himself before he joined the SGC, becoming an expert at distancing himself from the others. When first Teal'c and then Sam came back, he fell into his old habits around them, comfortable with letting them see how he really was feeling. Mitchell somehow managed to ease his way in after a while but even after over two years with the energetic colonel on the team he still only felt completely at ease with his own discomfort around the team that had been his family for so many years; Sam, Jack and Teal'c. As for Vala… the jury was still out on that one. He kept being torn between amazement, exasperation and frustration when dealing with her. He trusted her with his life, but as for letting those walls down, not so much. A little yes but not completely. It'd taken a while for the "old" team to get through those carefully built walls, and Daniel felt safe behind them and in need of them when he wasn't with those who knew him best. Vala might think she knew him, but she still had quite a while to go yet.
"Oh. I'm so sorry." Vala dropped Daniel's feet back on the mattress and moved to sit on the very edge of the bed, taking care not to touch any part of him.
Daniel watched his team checking him out and used the opportunity to give them a closer look-see himself. At first glance they looked well rested, but he could see the worry still evident in their eyes. He smiled reassuringly.
He was recovering and he'd be on his feet in no time, he was sure. He was back at the SGC, and although he was happy about that he wasn't so happy about still being in bed. Rodney would continue his work in that lab and hopefully something good would come of it.
When missions went bad like this had, Daniel tried to think about something positive to help himself from not going completely insane by the thought of all that'd been lost. This time the population on Atlantis had been saved. They'd been extremely lucky, thanks to the force field around the gate. The damage had been minimal, and Daniel shivered at the thought of the ancient city being torn to pieces by his actions. It didn't really help that he was kidnapped and forced to turn the device on. He'd had no choice that much he knew and was able to console himself with. But the thought that he could have made a difference, that he should have tried even harder to tell those Asgard that they not only had to but really, really needed to shut the device down wouldn't leave him alone and his heart ached with it.
"Hey. What's going on in there?" Sam asked after watching the emotions that had flickered over Daniel's face as he thought about what had happened. "Are you feeling all right? Should I get Dr. Lam?"
"I'm okay, just thinking."
"We could see that," Vala said. "What were you thinking about?"
"Oh, just that I'm glad to be back here with you guys. "
"Really? Because for a moment I thought you looked pretty miserable there."
"I've had surgery and been struck by lightning." He gestured to the IV pole. "I'm drugged to my gills on meds and pain killers. Of course I'm miserable." Daniel said grumpily, scowling at her, but regretted the action when it hurt. Damned nerves! Daniel wanted to be able to express himself as he was used to without feeling pain. He looked at the IV bag. It wasn't completely empty yet, which meant he still had some time before he was due for a new dose of pain killer.
"Yeah, we know," Vala said softly, very gently patting his knee. "But just say it," Vala teased to ease the tension suddenly filling the space between them. "You missed us."
"Of course he did," Mitchell put in.
"All right, all right." Daniel attempt at a smile ended up in a grimace and threw up his hands, defeated when the movement hurt. "I missed you guys. There, happy now?"
"Very," Vala said smugly.
"So, how have you guys been? What's happened here while I was away?"
"Well, nothing out of the ordinary. You know, missions, briefings, more missions." Vala answered.
"What kind of missions? Where did you go?"
"Well, there was this one planet with lots of old ruins-" Sam began, watching as Daniel's interest increased, "-but it was mostly in crumbles because of a recent flooding. There wasn't really anything left to check out."
Daniel contentedly let the voices of his team float over and around him, listening with half an ear. He was home now. Closing his eyes, he drifted.
After a while there was a lull in the team's reminiscing. "He's sleeping," Mitchell whispered. "We should come back later."
"I'll stay for a while," Sam said, tucking the blankets up around Daniel's shoulders and ever so gently brushing her hand through his hair. Daniel never stirred.
"I shall stay as well," Teal'c offered.
"Okay, we'll be back later." Mitchell tugged Vala on the arm, and the two of them left the infirmary. Teal'c took Mitchell's vacated chair, and Sam found a more comfortable spot on Daniel's bed.
"He looks exhausted," Sam said.
"Indeed." Teal'c leaned closer and looked intently at his friend for a while. "I believe he has been much troubled while away."
"Yeah."
*****
"Hey. You awake in there?" Sam watched as Daniel's eyes opened a little before closing again.
Daniel shifted around before settling back against the pillows. He'd been floating around in the empty void of space, all alone, destined to see the planets destroyed by the exploding stargates knowing there was nothing he could do to fix it. Being back with his friends at the SGC wasn't real, he'd dreamt that. But wait, he had heard Sam's voice just now, hadn't he? The hand carding through his hair felt familiar. He was positive about it, it had to be her. And he was in the infirmary. The sounds and smells all confirmed it. He shook his head slightly, ridding himself of the last vestiges of the dream. Finally he opened his eyes fully.
"Yeah, I'm up." He looked in Sam's direction, but not quite at her. He fiddled with his blankets.
"How are you feeling?"
"I'm okay. Stiff and sore, but I'll be fine."
"I know. Dr. Lam told us." Sam had moved to the bedside chair while he was sleeping, but sat back on his bed now.
Daniel nodded eyes still downcast.
"Hey, what's wrong?" Sam touched his arm, getting his attention.
"Nothing, I'm just tired," Daniel said. It was true, but he knew Sam wouldn't let it rest till he had told her the whole truth and Vala had of course guessed right earlier. He'd missed them. It was as simple as that. "It's just…well… I felt alone and pretty desperate for a while back there, and now I'm back and, and I guess I just need time to come to grips with it all."
"It's okay. We missed you too, you know." Sam said. "You know how it is when one of us is away. We were really afraid for you. What Rodney told us, well it sounded pretty scary."
"Yeah, I do. And it was." Daniel said, finally looking up at her, eyes brimming with emotion. "I was sure I was going to die as well. But now all those people are lost because I was too curious to heed the warnings. We knew turning the Attero device one had some side-effects, but I was more afraid of experiencing them myself than insisting we checked properly what the warning meant before we turned the device on."
"If what Rodney said was true, you were forced to do it, and put on a time limit as well. You couldn't have known, Daniel. It wasn't your fault." Sam reached for him, wrapping her arms gently around his shoulders, looking intently into his eyes. "Please believe that. You're always careful to do what you can in any situation. You did what you could."
"I will." Daniel wrapped his arms around Sam as well, ignoring the discomfort the movement caused.
"Love you," Sam murmured, tightening hug gently, burying her face in the crook of his neck, not letting him see how much she'd actually worried and missed him.
"Love you too," Daniel said. He sniffled a little when pulling back. "I think that's enough sappiness for one day, don't you?" He laughed and hastily drew his fingers over his eyes.
"Yup, I do." Sam said, quickly drying her own tears. "You hungry, Daniel?"
"Nope. Coffee?" Daniel asked. Not that he'd manage to keep it down but he wanted Sam to smile again, so he thought getting her to find a way to sneak him treats was a safe way to bring them both back to normalcy again.
"I don't think they'll let you have any, but I'll see what I can do," Sam said. She stood, before leaning over his bed. "I'm just glad you're back." She patted him on the arm before turning to see who it was when someone approached the bed.
"Dr. Lam," they both acknowledged.
"You should be resting." She moved to Daniel's side and lowered his bed. "General Landry wants you to attend a debriefing when you've recovered sufficiently. Which means you should rest now. We'll see about getting some food into you later." She turned to Sam. "Colonel Carter? I think you should get something to eat yourself. You can come back later."
"All right," Sam said, rising reluctantly.
"Bye. I'll see you later, Sam," Daniel said as Sam moved to leave.
*****
"What's his prognosis?" General Landry asked, looking at the man sleeping in the bed before him. Daniel had come back earlier in the day, but it had been hours before the General had time to come check on him after greeting him in the gate room. SG-1 had been glued to Daniel's bedside after he'd returned and at least one of them was always sitting with him. At the moment it was Teal'c and Vala keeping watch, conveniently arriving just after Sam left.
"He's recovering nicely. There's no residual radiation and the residual tremors he experienced for a while after being struck by electricity on that planet are all but gone. He'll need to stay here for a few more days, but he'll be fine. I'll release him for light duty by the end of the week. Then we'll see. If he continues to improve I don't see why he can't take up gate travel again in a few more weeks."
"Good. We'll debrief in the morning."
"All right. I'll let him know when he wakes up."
*****
"Welcome, SG-1," Landry said, looking at each member of his elite team as they entered the briefing room. Daniel had slept peacefully during the night and managed to eat a little at breakfast, so Dr. Lam had let him attend the briefing if it was a short one and only if he got there by means of a wheelchair. He was pale, Landry saw, but appeared well enough to go through with the briefing.
When everyone was seated he addressed Daniel. "It's good to have you back, Dr. Jackson. We received a report on most of it, and as you know, talked to Colonel Sheppard and Mr. Woolsey earlier, but we'd like to hear it from you as well. Can you tell us what happened?"
"Thank you, sir. It's good to be back." Daniel said. And it really was. He'd been happy to go to Atlantis and had been prepared for being there for a while, but seeing his team waiting for him in the gate room when he arrived back at the SGC had been wonderful.
Having talked a little with Sam earlier Daniel now felt better about his own role in the catastrophic events that had occurred, yet he still wasn't completely at peace with what happened. He never was when innocent people were killed. He closed his eyes for a moment gathering his thoughts before launching into his version about what had happened.
"The lab was fascinating. The sonic code Janus invented to hide his lab, the codes he used on everything. All kinds of codes, from the easiest to the most complex, codes based on simple combinations of numbers and letters but also riddles and puzzles that I'm sure will take days to solve. He clearly wanted to hide his work, but we never found out if there was a system to how he coded his experiments. We could spend years in there and never know if we cracked them all. I got a few written down in my notes, but that's just a very few of them. We had barely been at it a day before the Asgard came. Janus must have experimented on a lot of things if the amount and variety of his codes is anything to go by, but we never learned enough to find out if anything there was of use, and especially if it was safe. Rodney's going to work more on that lab, but I'm sure he won't turn anything more on before knowing exactly what it is,"
Daniel leaned back in his chair, thinking. If those suits he and Rodney had used were an indication, the rogue Asgard were at least as advanced, if not even more than Thor's race. "We were taken completely by surprise. The lab Rodney and I were taken to looked distinctly Ancient, but I think the Asgard technology they had there was at least as good as the technology the Asgard we know used, if not even more advanced."
"According to what the techs at Atlantis could gather when it first appeared, the ship your attackers came in had no problem going straight through the shield surrounding Atlantis without even causing a fluctuation." Sam handed each of them a report. "This is the report we received just before they sent you through, Daniel."
"Well, at least those Asgard are gone now. Sheppard did a pretty good job of blowing them to pieces," Mitchell said.
"He did," Daniel agreed, remembering hearing Sheppard being given the order to do so. The whole conversation with Rodney in the infirmary seemed pretty surreal now, but Daniel remembered Rodney saying something about the Asgard not being able to get through the shield again. "Rodney did say that if they tried getting through the shield again, they wouldn't manage. I guess being blown to pieces kind of puts a dent into a plan like that."
Daniel was to some small extent sorry for the loss of the rogue Asgard. A hundred thousand years of history lost with them. There was so much they could have learned from them, all lost now. The culture, the people, their technology, it was all gone. Daniel believed that all civilizations were composed of both good and bad people. The bad ones were just uninformed, not necessarily bad by nature. The Asgard too was a people who had made the best of things in the situation they were in. However, the complete lack of caring for others that they'd displayed when Daniel had talked to them didn't make him mourn their loss all that much after all. If they'd been allowed to roam freely even longer, and especially now that they knew there were people on Atlantis, things could be very bad for the people living there.
"Yeah, they got what was coming for them. They won't do any more harm now."
"Something we are very grateful for," Landry said, gathering his papers rising from his chair. "Thank you. I'm sure Atlantis will keep us posted."
"I'm sure they will, sir." Mitchell and Sam rose as well.
Daniel pushed back his chair a little, waiting for the go ahead to leave the briefing room. When he'd been by earlier Daniel had talked Nyan into getting him a notebook because he really wanted to crack some more of those codes. He yawned, suddenly feeling tired. It seemed the mind was willing but the body not very cooperative. Those codes would have to wait till after he got some more sleep.
"Dismissed," General Landry said, taking pity on the recovering archaeologist. "I wish you a speedy recovery, Doctor Jackson." Landry walked over to the door and opened it for them. "You can write your report when you're back on your feet."
"Thank you, sir." Daniel pushed his wheel chair towards the door, but stopped when he felt a presence behind him and someone starting to push him towards the exit. "I'll do my best."
"I know you will." Landry waved at the departing team.
Daniel looked up to see who was pushing him, glad to not have to do it himself. "Thanks."
"It is my pleasure DanielJackson." Teal'c rumbled from behind him.
"Better keep those books away from him then," Vala said as they started walking. "If he starts working now he'll just tax himself."
"We can't have anything of that," Sam agreed, knowing Daniel's habits all too well. She leaned in to whisper in Vala's ear. "I hid his notes when he was sleeping." Once a workaholic always a workaholic. It was best not to encourage him. He could work later. It wasn't like they were in any rush or anything with the Asgard gone and a new gate installed at Atlantis.
Vala giggled and punched Sam's arm. "Well done."
"Hey, what are you two up to?" Mitchell asked.
"Oh, nothing," Sam answered innocently.
"Yeah, right." Mitchell shook his head.
Acting as if nothing had happened Sam came up on Daniel's right side and patted his shoulder oh-so gently, remembering Daniel's earlier comment about sensitive nerves. "You ready to go back to the infirmary?"
"Yeah."
"Come on, Muscles," Vala said, "We'd better get him back to bed. Daniel needs his beauty sleep."
"I do not," Daniel protested indignantly.
"Yes you do." Vala argued. "Otherwise you'll get cranky and we can't have that. You're sick, remember. Bed and sleep is what you need."
"Oh, come on. I'm not that bad off," Daniel said, involuntarily yawning again. It looked like his body was going to contradict everything he said today. He shifted around a little and pain shot up from deep inside him. Daniel gasped with the shock of it and tried to rub the discomfort away. He'd taken his mouth just a tad too full there.
"Hey, you all right?" Vala was in his face, checking him out closely. "You're pale." She brushed a hand gently through his hair to calm him, letting it rest for a moment on his forehead. "You've got a fever as well." She turned to the others. "We shouldn't have let him go through with the briefing now."
Breathing through the pain, Daniel just nodded. "I'm fine, just moved too suddenly," he said when he could speak again. A big lump of what felt like burning coals sat in his stomach, and he rubbed it, trying to ease the sensation.
"We'd better get you back into Lam's clutches," Mitchell said urgently. "You okay to go? You don't need to be sick? Do you want us to fetch her?"
"No, no. I'm fine."
"See, I told you. You need to be in bed," Vala said, tucking the bathrobe closer in around Daniel. Daniel didn't have the strength to batter her hands away, all his attention on breathing.
As breathing became easier, Daniel looked at his team. He was shivering now, both from the residual pain and the rising fever he'd not acknowledged having earlier. He was on the way to recovery.
Things had definitely not gone as planned on what should have been an easy time on Atlantis. Daniel had longed for immersing himself in all the unexplored parts of Atlantis for quite a while now, and had worked hard on getting his visit there approved. He'd wanted to find something great, something that could benefit the human population of both galaxies, and maybe there was something great in that lab, maybe Rodney and the others would find something useful. He'd wish for that. And if there weren't, there would be other labs, other planets. The people on Atlantis were safe again, he was home and perhaps in the grand scheme of things, the balance was restored. Lives had been lost, but on both sides now that he'd learned that Sheppard had blown that planet to bits. There'd been great losses, yes, but there once again was hope. If the gates on the other worlds were fixable, Rodney's team would do it, and if they weren't, there were gates on deserted planets that would be gathered and put there instead.
There was so much out there yet to be learned and there were so many planets yet unexplored. Daniel couldn't wait to get out there and find out for himself. Yes, there definitely still was hope, he decided.
THE END