So I wrote this instead of studying for stats yay

I should go do that studying thing now

If you're still reading this story you're amazing and I'm sorry

In this chapter: Crying! Talking! Emotional issues! So you know, same as usual? But hey, Alfred actually showed up again.

TALA 8

"Herakles!" Lovino yelled, disregarding all his training as well as library etiquette. Everyone within earshot jumped and stared at him, a few even dropping their books. After a few moments his lazy-ass coworker appeared.

"Yeah?"

"Cover for me." Herakles nodded slowly; the patrons in line who recognized the aide taking over groaned. Lovino ignored them and jabbed a finger at Williams. "I need to talk to you."

"But, my books? Why-?" Williams looked completely bewildered. Lovino completed his checkout rapidly and grabbed the books before heading for the entrance, leaving the poor guy no choice but to follow him.

Lovino led him outside and around the outside of the building, stopping under a large oak tree and whirling to stare at Alfred's older brother. Just looking at him it was obvious he was well-off: clean-shaven (whereas Alfred was starting to go stubbly), wearing warm, clean clothes (as compared to Alfred's three ratty T-shirts), and a bag full of notes and textbooks (while Alfred carried all his worldly belongings in his bag).

So yeah, Lovino was not getting a really great impression of Matthew Williams.

"What's this about?" Williams asked cautiously.

"Your brother."

"Al? What about him?" His eyes widened. "Is he okay?"

"You tell me," he replied shortly. He shifted the books he was holding to balance the pile on his hip. His other hand was clenched at his side.

Williams frowned. "I only see him every other week. He seemed fine the last time I saw him, though."

"Did he?" Lovino ground out.

"Yes, he did," Williams answered firmly. "Not that it's any of your business-"

"How would you know?" he interrupted. "You ever ask him what he's up to? Or how he deals, having to live like he does? Or are you too caught up in your own perfect little world of academia?"

"What?"

"How about what he's eating? Where he's sleeping?" His voice was getting louder, and Williams just kept shaking his head. "Jesus Christ, he doesn't even have a coat!" He was breathing heavily and trembling with anger. To his consternation, he was also tearing up as he did when he got upset.

Williams just stared at him. Lovino wanted to punch his clueless face in.

"What do you mean?" Williams asked finally. Tentative, almost scared. "About eating and sleeping and...what does that mean?"

It hit Lovino then. Why Alfred's brother wasn't concerned about him. His stomach dropped, and every brain cell he had screamed shitshitshit.

He doesn't know.

"Nothing," he rasped, throat suddenly dry. "I didn't mean-it's nothing."

"No, you definitely meant something," Williams insisted, advancing on him. Lovino tried desperately to think of something to say as the other gripped his shoulders tightly. "You make it sound like he's, like he's living on the streets or something? But he can't be."

Lovino opened his mouth, hoping the lie he hadn't thought of yet would magically appear on his tongue, but nothing came out. Williams' face twisted.

He snatched his books and shoved Lovino away. "You're wrong," he said quietly, but his voice was shaking. "Alfred wouldn't lie to me. He wouldn't leave me behind. Not after everything else. He promised."

Lovino stood there, long after Williams had left. And that was it. He'd screwed up.

He didn't sleep that night. He hadn't made any definitive plans with Alfred for the next day, so he ended up wandering the campus looking for him. Part of him wanted to go back and hide in the dorm, but he knew he should find Alfred and admit what he'd done-before his brother found him, if possible. At the very least he owed Alfred a warning. Possibly also an apology.

But, but...he couldn't quite feel sorry for letting the cat out of the bag. A little (a lot) terrified over what Alfred's reaction would be, yeah, but he couldn't help but feel relieved that his brother knew. Maybe, if anyone could talk some sense into Alfred it would be Matthew. Not likely, from what he'd seen, but he couldn't suppress the small flame of hope the idea kindled.

He'd made a rounds of the campus almost three times by that point. As it became clearer that Alfred was nowhere to be found, his hurried gait became slower and slower until finally he sank onto a bench and scrubbed his hands over his eyes.

Dammit, was friendship supposed to be like this? Filled with simultaneous hope and hopelessness and frustration and elation and the overwhelming need to take care of someone or kiss them or possibly both? He'd never felt so many contradictions at once, about himself or another person, and while he was loathe to use the expression "being torn apart," every time he saw Alfred he wanted both to laugh and to cry and it hurt and he never wanted it to stop.

"Lovino, breathe!" Oh, someone was talking to him.

His hands were pulled away from his face and held in a warm grip. He was embarrassed to find that he immediately knew it wasn't Alfred's, because Alfred's hands were always so cold. The idiot didn't have gloves.

"Fratello?" he questioned softly, not wanting to open his eyes and risk bursting into tears.

"Lovi," his brother answered. "I saw you go by the dorm twice. You were practically running!"

Lovino made a noncommittal noise.

"And you were biting your nails!" Feliciano rubbed his thumbs gently over Lovino's knuckles. "You haven't done that since we were little."

He took a deep breath, but his voice still wavered when he admitted, "I messed something up. And I can't fix it. I can't fix anything. I can't do anything!" Despite himself, tears began to escape from behind his eyelids.

He heard Feliciano kneel. Then he was pulled forward until he had his face hidden in his brother's shoulder. There he felt safe enough to allow himself to cry.

"Can I help?" his brother asked, distressed.

Lovino snorted, rather wetly considering he was crying. "What a question," he muttered. He wished he could ask that of Alfred. He burrowed further into Feliciano's shoulder.

"They're brothers. They're brothers," he murmured. "He has to help."

Despite crying having a reputation for relieving anxiety, Lovino wasn't feeling much better two weeks later. He was slumped over a chair outside of his advisor's office, refusing to move no matter how many disdainful looks and pointed coughs the secretary sent his way. Technically he'd just finished his appointment with Bella and there was no reason for him to sit back down outside. But goddamit, he did not feel like moving. Or doing anything productive.

For the past two weeks he'd been cycling between misery and anger and apathy, and currently apathy had him in a stranglehold. Or whatever the apathetic equivalent of a stranglehold was. He slouched down further. Fuck moving. He was staying right here, dammit.

Matthew Williams sat down next to him.

Seriously? Seriously?

"Hi Lovino," Williams greeted him, smiling.

Lovino mustered up a rather-pained looking smile back. "Matthew."

"Waiting to see an advisor?"

"Actually I've already seen Ms. Bella. I'm just...hanging around now."

"Oh, Ms. Bella is my advisor, too. She talks to students who haven't decided on a major yet, right?"

"I think so, yeah."

Williams hummed in response. He was still smiling, and it was starting to creep Lovino out. He tried to calculate an escape route, but then Williams was speaking again.

"I suppose you're in the advising building a lot."

Lovino's eyes narrowed. "And why would you suppose that?"

"Well, I've been asking around and it seems like you're the type who would need a lot of counseling."

Lovino's eye twitched but he didn't drop his grin. He leaned in. "So you've probably also heard that I could beat the ever-loving shit out of you."

To his credit, Williams only looked unnerved for a moment before his cheerful expression returned. "I'd like to see you try."

Lovino snorted and sat back, crossing his arms and glaring at the floor. "Like I'd bother with a kid like you."

Out of the corner of his eye he saw Williams grip the arm rest like he was trying to break it with his bare hand. Silence reigned for the moment. Lovino was dying to ask how Alfred had reacted, but...on the other hand he really, really didn't want to know. It must have been bad, whatever happened.

After a few minutes the door in front of them opened and Bella stepped out. She smiled at the two of them. "Mr. Vargas, still here? Was there something else you wanted to discuss?"

Lovino managed a more sincere smile this time. "No, I just wanted to remain close to where you are, Bella." He allowed his accent to emphasize her name.

The advisor smiled and rolled her eyes a bit. "Oh, of course. Well remember that you can stop by anytime, alright? Mr. Williams, I'll be ready for you in just a moment; just let me go make some copies of this first."

"Yes ma'am." Williams watched her leave and then stood, moving in front of Lovino and looking down at him. "Have you been telling Alfred to avoid me?" he asked quietly.

Startled, Lovino looked up. "What?"

"You heard me." Williams was scowling, not even bothering with pretense now.

"Wh-no. No! I haven't been 'telling' him anything because I haven't seen him in two weeks!"

And that wasn't a lie. Alfred had seemingly disappeared. No communication at all. He'd thought it was because he was angry at him for talking to Williams.

But if that wasn't the case, then where the hell was he?

Shit. He stood up abruptly, causing Williams to take a step back in surprise. "Well this has been fun, but I gotta go."

Williams' eyes hardened. "I don't think so."

"Do we really have to do the macho standoff thing right now? If you haven't seen him and I haven't seen him, something is wrong."

"I don't believe you," Williams said simply.

"I don't have time for this. At this point I'm willing to go to Kirkland or even fucking Bonnefoy, but you need to get out of my way."

Williams' hand shot out and grabbed the collar of his shirt. Lovino noticed suddenly that he was trembling. "Are you saying," Williams started, then paused. His voice rose. "Are you saying my parents know about this?"

"Your foster parents you mean?"

"Yes. Them." Williams' grip tightened.

Lovino just stared incredulously. "You didn't figure that out? Really? You have got to be the most oblivious brother in the history of the world. And I know something about oblivious brothers!" He was vaguely aware that his own volume was rising, too, but he was just so fucking frustrated with this person who had turned out to be no help at all.

"Is there a problem, boys?" a mild voice cut in. They looked over to see Ms. Bella regarding them with eyebrows raised.

"No ma'am," Williams said quietly, letting go of his shirt and stepping away.

"Well then. You can go ahead into my office and I'll follow you in just a moment."

Williams picked his bag up in silence. When the office door shut behind him, Ms. Bella placed her hand on Lovino's shoulder. "The dean wants to see you," she told him.

Lovino felt a surge of panic. "I wasn't fighting, that wasn't-"

"Mr. Vargas, he called the secretary five minutes ago and she passed the message along to me. How would he know about what just happened? And as you said, it wasn't a fight."

Lovino sighed in relief. "Right. Sorry."

Ms. Bella smiled reassuringly. "I'm sure it's nothing. You're not in trouble."

Lovino doubted that, but he nodded anyway, unwilling to have such a nice woman worry about him. "You're the type that likes bad boys anyway, right?"

Ms. Bella snorted and whapped him on the arm with the file she was holding. "Get going, bad boy, or I'll be the one punishing you." She gave him a wink when he laughed, surprised. "And keep your chin up. It'll get better."

She entered her office, and he absconded.

He'd told Williams he was prepared to confront Kirkland or Bonnefoy, but when he was actually faced with the dean's scowling visage he felt quite unprepared.

"What exactly did you want to see me about?" he asked warily. So far all Kirkland had done was stare at him intently.

"You just had an advising appointment, correct?" Kirkland asked, finally looking away and clicking something on his computer.

"Are you stalking me through the school records? Is that what's going on?"

Kirkland shot him an unimpressed look. "Answer the question."

"Fine. As you apparently already know, yes, I just came from an advising appointment. You called the fucking advising building to get me to come here."

Kirkland didn't bother calling him on his language. "And what was the appointment about?"

"I'm pretty sure that's classified. I don't have to tell you shit."

Kirkland waved that off. "Well, I can guess. You have to declare a major by the end of your sophomore year, correct? Have you decided on one?"

Lovino huffed. "Fine, you nosy bastard. Yes, I had a meeting to remind me to be thinking about a major. Everyone in my year has to have one before signing up for next semester's classes. No, I have not picked a major yet."

Kirkland shrugged. "That's normal enough for a sophomore. Any ideas, though?"

"Look, just get to whatever it is you really want to talk about already."

Kirkland's gaze flickered towards him briefly before turning to stare out the window.

"About Alfred..."

Lovino groaned.

"Francis said he hasn't seen him around lately. Has something happened?"

"How would I know?" God, he wished he knew.

"You're close to him, by all accounts."

"Whose accounts? Have you people been talking about us?"

Kirkland continued as if he hadn't heard him. "And frankly it's a bit worrying that no one has spotted the two of you together like you usually are."

"Do you have a network of spies or something?"

Finally Kirkland looked at him. "I'd appreciate if you'd just answer my question," he said sharply. "I understand that the two of you dislike my scrutiny, but I really do only have your best interests at heart."

"Is that what you told Alfred?" he asked, and noted with interest the way Kirkland's calm expression spasmed.

"That boy wouldn't know what's good for him if it kicked him in the arse," he grumbled.

Lovino agreed, but he was hardly about to tell Kirkland that. He wished he could ask exactly what had happened between these two, but he got the feeling neither party was willing to discuss it. Come to think of it...

"Does he even talk to you at all?" he asked, curious.

Kirkland looked genuinely pained, and for a moment Lovino was sorry for asking.

"No. He hasn't since-that's none of your business, though."

"Well what makes you so sure that whatever Alfred's doing is any of my business? You know how he is."

For just a moment they commiserated over Alfred's stubbornness.

"But he takes things from you, doesn't he?" Kirkland asked suddenly.

Lovino blinked. "What?"

"He lets you buy him things," Kirkland insisted. "Or give him things. Food."

"Only occasionally," Lovino told him, bewildered. "And we take turns paying when we go out. It's not really a big deal."

"I think you know that it is a big deal. He won't accept anything from anyone else but you."

"Well that's because I don't make a big deal out of it! And I don't always talk about the fact that he's homeless! Of course he's going to run for it if you make it seem like a pity thing!"

"It's not a pity thing! It's wanting to fill the basic needs of someone I care about!"

Lovino frowned and looked away.

"You can't really be okay with the way things are, can you?" Kirkland continued, incredulous. "How can you not want him to just accept help? He's homeless, and that's a serious problem, not some small detail you can just ignore as though nothing's wrong!"

Lovino jumped up out of the chair and headed for the door. "I should go before your next appointment gets here," he bit out.

"What? I don't have a next appointment. And we're not done talking!"

"If you really want to talk about Alfred, I'm sure Williams will be here soon to discuss with you."

"Matthew?"

Lovino slammed the door and only paused for a moment to listen to Kirkland swearing up a storm in his office before he decided to spend the rest of this definitively sucky day in the dorm. Maybe he'd finally be able to mope in peace.

No such luck.

He was facedown in his bunk, but he could feel Feliciano staring at him.

"Something you want to discuss with me?" he asked finally, turning his head to meet his brother's eyes.

"Well," Feliciano hesitated. "It's about Alfred..."

Lovino groaned. "Of all the topics you could have picked, you managed to pick what I want to talk about the least. Congratulations."

"But, fratello, it's just that..."

"What?" Lovino snapped. A bit unfairly, really, considering how careful Feliciano had been around him over the past weeks. But he just did not want to do this right now.

Feliciano finally mustered up the courage to say, "It just seems like he's making you really unhappy."

Lovino made an aggrieved noise. "He's not the one making me unhappy; all these people bugging me about him are making me unhappy!"

"Where is he then?"

"I don't want to talk about that either!" Lovino exclaimed, then buried his head in his pillow again. He was tearing up.

"Fuck!" he screamed into his pillow. "Fuck fuck fuck fuck-"

Someone knocked on the door.

"Fuck," Lovino told the pillow one more time for good measure. He threw the pillow away, jumped down from his bunk, and marched past a frozen Feliciano to answer the door.

"What?" he demanded. He was thoroughly fed up with this day, and- "Alfred?"

Sure enough, Alfred was standing on the other side of the door. His face was covered in blood.

"What the hell?" Lovino screeched.

Alfred put one hand up in a half-hearted wave. The other hand was covering his nose, which appeared to the main source of the blood. Lovino was struck by an odd sense of déjà vu.

"Uh," someone cut in. He blinked and realized the RA was also standing out in the hallway. "I saw him hanging around the front of the building and he looked like he needed help. He's a friend of yours, right? I seem to remember him coming by a couple of times..."

Lovino snapped out of his horrified staring. "Yeah, yeah. Sorry for the trouble. Oh my God, Alfred, get in here!"

He reached out and grabbed the sleeve near Alfred's free hand, gently pulling him inside. The RA gave him a nod and reached in to shut the door behind them.

"Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ," Lovino muttered in a mantra as he maneuvered Alfred over the his desk chair and sat him down.

Feliciano appeared at his side. "Is he okay?"

"Shit, I don't know. Say something, bastard."

Alfred's head was hanging down, bangs covering his eyes.

Lovino carefully pulled his hand away from his face and tilted his head up so he could see the damage. Alfred's nose was still leaking sluggishly. There were bruises-old and new ones-ringing his eyes and scattered down his face, as well as a couple of scabbed-over scratches. One lens of his glasses was cracked.

"Keep your head like this; it'll help stop the bleeding," Lovino instructed. "Feli, can you get a wet washcloth?"

When Feliciano moved away, Alfred finally looked at him.

"Hi Lovi," he said, voice tired and scratchy.

"Jesus Christ," he said again. Then, "Hi."

Alfred blinked, expression hazy. "Have you been crying?" he asked quietly.

"Huh? Oh. Just a bit. I, uh, stubbed my toe on the way to the door."

"To answer the door?"

"Yeah. Are you retaining information okay? Do you have a concussion? Please tell me you don't have a concussion."

Alfred shook his head. "You stubbed your toe on the way to the door," he said slowly, "and I was on the other side of the door, so..."

"So?"

"So it's my fault you stubbed your toe."

Lovino took in Alfred's mournful expression and tried to decide whether he wanted to laugh or cry. Dammit, he'd been crying way too much recently.

"I'm sorry I made you cry," Alfred whispered. "...And stub your toe. Does it hurt?"

"Are you seriously asking if my toe hurts? With your face looking like this?"

Alfred stuck his tongue out, just a little. It was enough to see that there was blood in his mouth, as well. His lip was split in two places.

"My face isn't that ugly. Jeez, Lovi."

Lovino let out a shaky breath of a laugh.

His eyes remained on Alfred's face as Feliciano pressed the washcloth into his hand and moved away again.

He began to dab at the crusted blood around Alfred's nose. The bleeding had finally stopped. "What am I going to do with you?" he wondered aloud.

Alfred gave him a small smile. It was the best thing Lovino had seen in two weeks.

He didn't let himself question him, even when he had finished cleaning him up. Not even when he allowed himself to be put in Lovino's bunk with no coaxing at all.

He hesitated for a moment, but in the end he climbed up and lay beside Alfred until he fell asleep, staring at his battered face and thinking.

What had happened? And would he have the courage to ask?

He woke only a few hours later, when Alfred started shifting.

"Mmmm," he protested sleepily, until he realized that shit Alfred was awake. "Alfred? Are you okay?"

"Uh, I think so. My face kinda hurts, though."

Lovino leveled a look at him. "Kinda?"

"Kinda a lot," Alfred admitted.

"Want some painkillers?"

Alfred sighed. "Yes please."

Lovino sat up and climbed out of the bunk, headed for the small medical kit they kept in the room. He heard Alfred slowly making his way down, as well. He wanted to tell him to get his ass right back in bed, but honestly he was too scared Alfred would run off again.

Thankfully, by the time he'd pulled out a bottle of pills, Alfred had sat back in the desk chair, holding his head.

"Owww," he whined. Lovino smiled, because that sounded like Alfred. Fuck, he'd missed him. It had only been two weeks.

He ignored Feliciano staring at him from his own desk, where he'd apparently been typing a paper.

"You seriously need a haircut," he muttered as he handed Alfred two pills and a glass of water.

"Yeah, yeah. Thanks Lovi."

"I can do it," Feliciano piped in suddenly.

Alfred jumped. They both turned to look at him.

"If you'd like a haircut," Feliciano clarified, smiling. "I can do it. I cut Romano's hair whenever he needs it."

Lovino was rather taken aback by his brother's sudden cheerful attitude, but..."That's true. He's the only person I'll let near my hair with scissors."

Alfred looked bemused, like he wasn't sure whether they were being serious.

"I think yes," Lovino decided for him. "If you don't mind, Feliciano."

"Not at all!" his brother chirped, standing.

They managed to get a towel around Alfred's neck and a pair of scissors in Feliciano's hands before Alfred said, "Wait, seriously?"

"Hold still," Feliciano chided, going to work on the back.

"O-okay." Suitably chastened, Alfred stopped wriggling.

Lovino sat on his desk and watched, smiling.

Feliciano hummed as he worked, and Alfred slowly started to relax.

He figured now would be the best time to ask. The idiot wouldn't attempt an escape with someone holding scissors to his head, right?

"So did you get beat up again?" he asked bluntly.

Feliciano's humming faltered a bit, but he soldiered on regardless.

Alfred cracked one eye open and gave him a sheepish look.

"Yeah. Same guy who beat me up the last time, actually."

Lovino sighed. "At least you didn't go to the library this time."

"And yet here we are again. We really have to stop meeting like this, Mr. Vargas."

Lovino frowned. "Stop kidding around," he muttered. "I was worried."

Alfred winced. "Sorry. I was gone for a while."

"Yeah, I noticed that. When you disappeared for two weeks with no warning."

No reply.

Feliciano's humming had stopped at some point. He moved between them to work on Alfred's bangs. "There," he declared, stepping back. "All finished!"

Alfred stood. "It feels a lot better like this, actually."

Lovino picked up the small mirror from the desk and handed it to him as he came over to survey his brother's work.

"It looks nice," he said, surprised.

"Yeah, it almost makes up for the fact that my face is twenty different colors of pain right now," Alfred said, echoing Lovino's thoughts. "Thanks Feliciano! Wow, it's been a while since anyone cut my hair. Probably Mattie..." He trailed off. "Hey, there's a bathroom down the hall right?"

"Yep, to the left," Feliciano confirmed.

"Sweet, be right back."

Fuck, he'd managed to forget about Williams in his happiness at Alfred finally showing up. Fuuuuck.

"So...what was that about?" he asked his brother.

Feliciano sighed. "You've been feeling horrible for two weeks, and then that boy shows up covered in blood and you're happy again. I still don't understand exactly what kind of relationship you have with a boy that apparently gets beaten to a pulp on a regular basis but...if he makes you happy? I'll support you, no matter what."

Momentarily stunned, Lovino stared before a quavering smile broke across his face. "Grazie, fratello." He leaned in and kissed him on the cheek.

"I still think you should be careful," Feliciano muttered sulkily. "And if he makes you cry again..."

Whatever threat he'd been attempting to make was cut off when Alfred burst back into the room.

"Hey Lovi, do you wanna go somewhere?"

"What do you mean go somewhere? It's almost midnight."

Alfred bounced a bit. "Yeah, but we haven't hung out in two weeks!"

Lovino bit his lip. That was true. And it was good to see Alfred with his energy back.

"Don't you think you should sleep some more?" he tried.

"Nooo," was the whined response. "Sleep later! Sleep is boring."

"I-fine. Okay. Let's go do...something."

Alfred punched the air. "Awesome! I've got a great idea, wait 'til you see!"

Feliciano looked amused. "Have fun, then."

Alfred smiled and darted forward to grab Lovino's hand. "We definitely will! Thanks again Feliciano!"

Lovino was pulled out of the room and then out of the building at high speed. Normally he would have protested but Alfred was still holding his hand and he'd missed that.

But he still needed to tell him about his brother.

Alfred's great idea turned out to be walking half a mile off campus, away from town and into the woods. Lovino wasn't a big fan of the woods usually, especially at night, but Alfred's babble made the trek almost pleasant.

"Here!" Alfred announced suddenly. 'Here' was a small clearing with a clear, if a bit constricted, view of the sky. Alfred let go of his hand to flop down in the grass. Lovino followed him down more gingerly, leery of sticks or bugs or whatever else was waiting on the forest floor.

Alfred giggled and patted the grass. "Come on!"

With a resigned sigh, Lovino lay down completely.

Alfred pointed at the sky. "Nice, right? We'd be able to see more stars further away from the town, but this is as good as it gets in this area."

Lovino looked up, contemplative. "Pretty nice," he concluded. He really wanted to look at Alfred, but he doubted he could get away with staring without being questioned.

He did glance over quickly to see Alfred smiling up at the stars, and smiled himself.

I have to tell him about Williams.

"Hey, you're in an astronomy class right? What's up there?"

Lovino snorted. "There's a hell of a lot 'up there,' bastard."

He laughed. "Yeah, but what are we looking at? Ooh, is Cancer up there? Cancer's a crab right? I'm pretty sure that's my sign."

Lovino made a mental note of that; Alfred had never told him his birthday.

"It's December, idiot. You can't see Cancer in December."

"Aww." Alfred pouted. "Well what can we see then?"

Lovino looked away from Alfred's face again and searched the stars for a moment. "There," he pointed, "that's Aries."

"Where?" Alfred wiggled closer, and Lovino grabbed his hand and pointed it for him. "Near the edge of the trees. See those two stars there?"

Alfred huffed. "Don't look much like a ram to me."

"None of them really look like what they're named after, if you ask me. There, to the left a bit is Perseus." He shifted Alfred's hand.

"Ooh, I see it! I think..."

"And above that are Cassiopeia...and Andromeda."

"Hey, have you ever read The Andromeda Strain? Or seen the movie? Or even the TV series, though I didn't think that was as good. The movie was great though!"

Lovino allowed Alfred to ramble about sci-fi for a while, but there was a pressure building up in his throat and behind his eyes and his stomach hurt and eventually he couldn't hold it in anymore.

He slowly disentangled their hands. Alfred turned to look at him, confused.

"I met your brother," Lovino told him quietly.

Alfred's relaxed posture disappeared as he tensed up, suddenly wary. "You did?"

"At the library. I, I can see why people think you're twins."

"Yeah."

"I didn't realize-" He choked. Oh God. "I didn't realize that he...didn't...know..." he trailed off, waiting for the explosion.

Alfred stared at him for a moment, uncomprehending, before his eyes widened. "Aw Lovi, you didn't."

"I'm sorry," he offered lamely.

Alfred grunted, putting one arm over his eyes and breathing deeply through his nose.

"But," Lovino continued, because it wasn't like he could make it any worse at this point, "was the really something you should have hidden from him?"

Alfred just frowned. "You shouldn't have told him," he muttered.

You should have, Lovino wanted to say, but didn't.

Alfred didn't say anything more to him. Not in the clearing, not on the way back to the dorm, and not before he disappeared into the night again.

Lovino just hoped he had somewhere to sleep. That he wouldn't disappear again.

That he'd talk to him again, ever, oh God what had he done?

He climbed into bed without waking Feliciano, and no matter how many times he told himself he was done crying over that boy, the tears wouldn't stop.

Once I finish exams next Tuesday I'll be out for the summer whoop time for statistics