Chapter 11: Confusion

Hi guys, I hope everyone's doing well :)

Thank you so much for your reviews; I can't believe all the love this story has received – especially cause it's my first one! Your words make me want to keep writing!

I know last chapter was sad/frustrating/cliff-hangery (is that even a word?) and some of you were right in pointing out the story does need some enlightening (what can I say, I'm a sucker for drama). I can't promise anything for right now, but let's just say there's a chapter coming up that's going to…change so many things!

Happy reading!

P.S. Chapter picks up exactly where the last one ended!

Click.

Click.

Click.

Her heels on the marble floor sounded deafening in her ears. Everything else, the talking, the laughing, the music, they had all faded into the background; into buzzing behind the clicking of her heels.

All she could hear was the steady click as she made her way out of the room trying hard not to run.

She was counting. Seven clicks, eight clicks, ten clicks; she had to last till 25. That would get her out of the room.

21 clicks, almost there! Hold it Felicity!

When she reached the door she took a sharp right and her steps became faster; it was barely a walk anymore.

She breezed through the front room of the building that contained nothing but huge windows, a couple of beautiful plush chairs and a small table with a book for the wedding guests to sign before they made their way inside for the wedding.

Out of the corner of her eye she saw Ray still on his phone, who saw her and waved at her giving her a brief smile she didn't return.

The restrooms were just down the corridor, she would make it.

Focus Felicity!

A group of women were entering the restrooms, laughing, and she wanted to scream.

Before she knew what she was doing she had walked a bit further and opened the one other door in the corridor and stepped inside.

It was the room Lyla had gotten ready in before the wedding. She hadn't realised it was the same room she had come to see if Lyla had needed anything in before the ceremony and to wish her good luck.

She pushed the door to close behind her and walked towards the center of the room.

Damn it, damn it, damn it! Not again! She screamed in her head as her breathing became shallower and shallower and her head spun.

She was starting to hate him for it, she was even starting to hate herself for it. How could someone make her body, her mind, her soul have this kind of reaction?

You can do it Felicity. You can keep it under control. You just need to breathe. Breathe, Breathe, BREATHE.

She stood by the window and tried to focus her eyes on the small beautiful garden the room looked into. She had read about panic attacks online after the third one she had. She figured it might come in handy and she loved to google just about everything. Made her feel more in control, she supposed.

She breathed in slowly and exhaled twice as slow, keeping her mind focused as much as she could on the beautiful rose bushes and stubbornly told herself she would not go into a full panic attack.

"Felicity!" Thea's voice right behind her made her turn around as fast as she could.

Thea's worried face had appeared followed closely by Roy who had a deep frown.

Felicity's eyes quickly filled with tears as the brunet hugged her tightly before releasing her and helping her to sit down on a chair and try to breathe.

Letting go in the safety of her friends' presence, the panic had completely taken over now and all she could do was ride it out.

"We saw the whole thing and figured you might need our 'assistance' so we followed" Thea blabbed as she motioned to Felicity how to breathe to try and ease the panic attack.

They must have been in that room for more than an hour.

Roy crouched behind her and rubbed her back for a long time and she felt the tightness in her chest starting to ease as she stared into her friends' worried faces.

"Yeah, you can do it, just keep trying to breathe" Thea continued sensing that she was starting to calm down.

"What's going on?" Diggle's voice suddenly came from just outside, sounding happy and light. "Are you guys having another party? Why did you disap…"

He suddenly stopped as he saw Felicity's panicked face, her tears still running down her cheeks.

"What the hell happened?" he asked, his voice back to the usual seriousness, already checking his surroundings. "Felicity why are you crying? WHAT HAPPENED?"

Felicity took a couple of deep breaths.

"Dig, it's nothing, don't worry about it. I just overreact sometimes, you know like when I upgraded all the security protocols and tried to install a trap door we could jump through and I couldn't get it to open up to let Roy out the other side and I started to frea…" Felicity started babbling and she was more than glad she was able to utter even a single word.

She stopped herself as Roy chuckled next to her before saying " See I'm fine, mouth filter not working as per usual. Nothing to worry about."

But Dig wasn't prepared to let it go that easily. He walked towards her and put his hand on her shoulder.

"Felicity. Tell me what is going on." He said simply, but with a determination that meant she had no choice, but to start talking. So she talked, Thea talked, Roy talked.

She tried to dump it down. The extent of it. She didn't really say how many times it had happened and tried to gloss over the fact that every time was because something had happened with Oliver.

But Dig saw right through it and he was furious.

"I told him to let you go! I said it so many times. Nicely! But does he care about anything anyone of us says?" He yelled walking around the room and Felicity flinched.

"No! All he cares is that he 'protects' us from whatever danger he thinks we are in!" Diggle continued clearly having many bottled up things to say about the situation and Felicity closed her eyes still trying to calm her heart.

"We need to have a long, overdue talk him and me. This time it's gone a step too far." Diggle concluded and Felicity felt all her colour drain and her chest starting to tighten again.

"No, no, no" was all she could whisper to him in response.

"Please, don't tell him anything Dig. This is my secret. Please." She insisted with a pleading look.

"Felicity…"

"Please Dig. I'll find a way to make it stop. He doesn't need this too." She insisted, her voice cracking.

"Fine. FOR NOW." Dig softened up.

She knew he was right, but she couldn't make herself feel angry at Oliver. He had been through a lot and all these things he did lately came out of the part of his soul that was still alive, still fighting. And that's all she wanted from him.

As Diggle continued on about the situation, but made no further threats to tell Oliver, Felicity felt her breathing become less shallow, though her chest was still tight.

"Come on let's get you out of here before anyone else comes looking" Thea said after a while, having remained silent for way too long. And she was right. They had been gone for a really long time.

Thea motioned to Roy and he helped Felicity stand up and gave her his jacket, putting his hand on her lower back. She hadn't realised she was shivering until she felt the soft fabric on her shoulders.

She gave him a grateful smile before starting to walk towards the now empty corridor and the front entrance of the building, followed closely by the others.

They had barely reached the front room where the main entrance was located when Ray – who she had stupidly forgotten had been on the phone there – caught up with them.

"Hi I was looking for you! Is the party over? I wasn't on the phone for that long was I?" Ray said taking big strides towards her.

"What's wrong? What happened?" he asked suddenly, stopping right infront of her and crouching just the tiniest amount to look into her face.

"She's not feeling well." Thea spoke before she could say anything.

"Come on, I'll take you home." he replied putting his hands on either side of her waist.

Thea started to object, but was cut off by Lyla followed closely by Oliver who had made their way out of the reception room.

Oh this is becoming something out of a comedy! Felicity thought.

Am I dreaming? Cause this is ridiculous! She thought to herself as she watched bewildered what was going on around her. She had just asked for a few moments alone!

"What's going on? Why are you guys all hiding here? You've left us and Laurel alone." Lyla said. "John your aunt wanted a dance." She continued, moving to hug her husband who was eyeing Oliver angrily.

Oliver behind her scrutinised the room quietly, his eyes resting on Felicity and Ray.

Just breathe Felicity. Breathe. You can get through this without anyone else finding out. If you don't babble. And Dig keeps his mouth shut.

Ray oblivious to everyone else gave a slight nod and smile towards Oliver and Lyla and turned back to Felicity.

"Let me take you home." He repeated to her placing his hand around her wrist and starting to pull her forward.

"No, no! I don't need.." Felicity started to insist, backing away and pulling her hand out of her grasp.

She could feel Oliver's stare still on them and he seemed to take in how pale she looked and that her eyes were read and she almost felt afraid at the look that took over his face.

"Felicity are you okay?" he asked, emphasising every syllable and she could tell all his muscles were tensing up even from across the room and her mind suddenly seemed to process what this looked like from his angle.

"She's fine, Ollie, let's go inside." Thea interjected moving closer to Oliver to take his arm, trying to salvage the situation, but failing miserably.

"Felicity, what's going on? Talk to me." Oliver said, his stare so intense she felt it set her heart on fire.

"It's nothing Oliver, don't worry about it" Ray replied not even looking at Oliver. "Come on Felicity. You need to go home, let's go." he added good naturedly, still completely oblivious.

"No, no! I don't need.." Felicity started to insist moving away, but it only made things worse.

Oliver walked towards the two of them and Felicity could feel the tension coming off him in waves. His lips were nothing, but a thin line and his eyes shot daggers at Ray.

"What did you do to her?" he asked, emphasising every single word and moving threateningly towards Ray who hadn't moved an inch.

She felt paralysed and her heart rate was picking up again. It was so ironic that Oliver was blaming Ray for this.

"As I've said Oliver. Nothing to worry about. " Ray insisted "She's my girlfriend" he added.

This? This was the moment Ray decided to stand up to someone? And of course that someone had to be Oliver!

It was like time had stopped. Felicity could only stare at the two of them in a daze. Oliver's colour had drained from his face and in a move so fast he had Ray pinned against the wall, with just his elbow against Ray's throat.

"She's my friend." He snarled. "If you hurt even a single hair on her head…"

"Oliver that's enough" Diggle stopped him mid-sentence, putting himself between him and Ray, forcing Oliver to let him go.

At least Ray didn't retaliate.

"Ray hasn't done anything so leave him alone!" Diggle seemed so angry he was about to burst, but one sharp look from Felicity he zipped it. At least she hoped for long enough.

But Oliver wasn't as eager to let it go.

Damage control Felicity, damage control!

"Oliver stop. Just give us a minute. Please." She said, sitting down on the chair that was behind him and put her hands over her face, suddenly feeling drained. "Really, I'm fine."

"Come on, man. Let's go inside." Diggle added and after a few minutes she could see them out of the corner of her eye moving away.

When they were left alone she looked up to see Ray still standing infront of her but looking at the door that led back to the venue with a puzzled look.

"I'm sorry" she said simply giving him a soft smile. "He can be overprotective sometimes… They all can… It's just…they are family." Was all the explanation she could give.

Which was partly true, she guessed. But she still hated herself for lying.

She knew she needed to have a proper chat with Ray, to let go of Oliver in her head and clear the air or end this relationship, because she couldn't stand doing this to him. But she couldn't do it in that moment. Her head was aching and she could barely stand on her feet. Tomorrow would be the day for big decisions.

"Can we go now?" she continued, giving in to his previous requests and standing up, putting her arm through his.

When they reached her house he took the keys and opened the door for her, letting her walk in ahead of him.

She took her heels off immediately and left them by the door and her earrings leaving them on the coffee table.

"Thank you" she told him with all the sincerity in the world.

"It's no problem." He smiled. "How are you feeling?"

"Better" she replied earnestly.

"You should get some rest and I'll call you tomorrow, okay?"

She nodded in response feeling tiredness take over and a sudden yearning for her bed.

Ray gave her a soft kiss on the head and walked towards the door.

"Ray?" she called. "I'm really sorry for today." She added when he turned round.

He said nothing as he walked out and she told herself she would find a way to fix things.

She turned around and walked towards her bedroom, taking off Roy's jacket that still hang around her shoulders on her bedroom chair, and before long she had taken a shower, put on her pyjamas and climbed in her bed.

She felt exhausted, drained.

At least it had been a beautiful wedding. And on a side note the league hadn't attacked. Maybe, just maybe they'd have a plan before they did.

With that she closed her eyes and fell asleep, dreams of happier times making her smile, never seeing the green shadow that stood watch outside her window till the first ray of light.