Once upon a time, Cinder hadn't quite understood why Kai had made such a fuss over royal duties. Sure, she'd known that the responsibilities were a heavy load to bear. That there were a lot of them. And that despite the supposedly stable nature of monarchies, politics played a much greater role than they were supposed to.
Knowing it was vastly different than living it.
Which was why she was currently hiding from her newly-formed court in one of the palace's hundreds of empty conference rooms. She'd started walking the minute the latest in a long line of excruciating council sessions was over, with no clear path in mind, just…away. Away from bitter thaumaturges whose power, whose position, whose entire way of life had stripped away in a single brief battle. Away from sulking noble families whose life of ease and favor was evaporating before their eyes with the arrival of the new queen. Away from jaded common folk who demanded change far faster than she could give it. Away from tedious video calls with still cautious Earthen leaders. Even away from her Counselor and her personal guard, because if Iko and Kinney didn't stop bickering, Cinder was going to be tempted to smack them both.
It was all just so much bigger than she'd expected.
Before, her life had been focused on one simple goal: stop Levana. That had led to another easily stated goal that would come as a product of the first: become queen. And from there, everything had fallen into a series of sequential events as easy to aim for—if a bit harder to achieve—as assembling a malfunctioning android. Stop Levana, stop the wedding, kidnap Kai, start the revolution, become queen…all broad ambitions with delicate execution.
But now she was queen.
She was queen, and the instant that crown settled on her head, every simple equation in her life had splintered into a thousand pieces. A thousand details to be remembered and balanced and juggled if she was to make the millions people now depending on her happy. Their safety, their well-being, their very lives all hinged on her now, and somehow that was a million times scarier than all the heart-pounding events that had led up to it. Her life was infinitely more stable than a week ago, when she had been a fugitive and a revolutionary…and was now infinitely more complicated.
Cinder pulled her port from the pocket of the dress Iko had bullied her into for that morning's meeting and scrolled to her contacts, tapping the most frequently called. That had been one caveat for allowing Iko and the local seamstresses to outfit her with a new wardrobe: if there were going to be dresses, there must also be pockets. No exceptions.
"You know, you've only been back on Luna for less than a week." Kai's face filled the port's screen, brown eyes warm and smiling despite the teasing. Cinder rolled her eyes and moved to slouch into the uncomfortable, straight-backed chair at the head of the conference table. "Couldn't get along without my beautiful face?"
"Have you been taking lessons from Thorne?" Cinder wrinkled her nose at the words, despite the smile tugging at her lips. Even though the group had gone their separate ways, they had all been making frequent calls and sending a ridiculous amount of comms back and forth. Thorne, in particular, since he often felt the need to regale his friends with his latest exploits…though that more often than not devolved into talking about Cress.
"Actually, he dared me to use that line with a straight face." Kai's brow furrowed as his gaze scraped over the bits and pieces of the background that he could see in the narrow view Cinder's port offered. "Why are you in a conference room by yourself?"
"Hiding again. Too many meetings in row, and I can't very well hide in the throne room any more since it's been repaired." It was certainly more pleasant now that it didn't bear so many battle scars, but the palace staff kept finding her there. "My relays are in imminent danger of overloading if I have to talk to one more politician."
"Don't I technically fall into that category, too?" He was smirking, then. Mischievous, unrepentant. Cinder felt her taunt muscles relax a little at the sight. It was one of very few friendly faces she'd seen since the Rampion departed for Earth, with Winter and Jacin leaving soon after it. Sure, she still had Iko, and Kinney was becoming closer, but lately those two had been more involved in their own verbal sparring matches than anything else, which left Cinder to herself mostly. And to many, many calls to the Eastern Commonwealth.
"No." Kai was a category all his own. At least by her estimation.
He sighed fondly, eyes warming still more, as if he'd read her mind. His voice went sympathetic. "Hiding doesn't help for long, you know. At least not in my experience."
"You've only been emperor for four months, Kai."
"Still longer than one month."
Cinder let out a decidedly unqueenly snort. "At this point, the hiding is the only thing keeping me sane. I can't imagine how bad it's going to be three months from now."
"Believe it or not, it gets easier." The view on the port's screen wavered as Kai shifted in his chair to find a more comfortable position, flashing a brief view of the New Beijing palace's balcony and the golden afternoon sun flashing over the rooftops of the city below. There was a twinge of longing in Cinder's chest, accompanied by a flash of memories. The mingled scent of hot, yeasty sweet rolls and thick, metallic mechanic grease that she had smelled every market day. The humid air on every walk to and from the apartment. The familiar chill of the workshop, her workshop, where she'd spent every free hour she ever had.
Cinder swallowed hard, tamping back the wave of…was it homesickness? Was it possible to be homesick for a place that had never really been her home? To long for the simple four walls of a rented workshop over the gleaming spires and polished stone that were her birthright? It shouldn't have been. It seemed so…ungrateful. But she missed it all the same, her heart yearning for the familiar sights and smells and places over the alien luxury of the world she now inhabited.
"I hope so." Cinder murmured over the lump in her throat. Kai frowned, eyes narrowing in concern.
"Are you alright? You've been pretty active for someone who nearly died recently."
"It's not that." Though, to be fair, it certainly didn't help. She was nearly back to one hundred percent now, but healing was a slow process. "There's just…a lot to adjust to."
"I know. But you're more than capable." There was no warning orange light at the fringes of her vision, so that meant it had to be true, right? Or at least Kai believed it to be. He was sweet that way. Or possibly just a bit biased. Either way, Cinder smiled.
"Yeah, well…maybe you should try convincing the Lunar councils of that. I'm not having much luck yet."
"Thanks for the vote of confidence, but I've got enough trouble trying to make my own advisors listen to what they seem to think is a child emperor." Kai muttered, scraping a hand through his hair with a rueful smile. His eyes flicked to the time display at the corner of the screen and the smile waned slightly. He sighed. "And speaking of my advisors, I've got a meeting in about three minutes."
"Well—"
There was an abrupt slam from the room next door to Cinder's hideaway, eliciting a jump from Cinder and quizzical look from Kai at the jostled view. Cinder frowned and adjusted her auditory settings to better pick up the commotion on the other side of the wall. Footsteps, one set heavy and unwieldy and the other light and brisk—boots and heels, probably—and voices, one outraged and feminine and loud, while the other remained…unperturbed. Perhaps a bit amused. Cinder sighed and lifted her flesh and blood hand to massage her temple. Iko and Kinney had found her.
"Let me guess…Madame Counselor and your personal guard are at it again?"
"How'd you guess?" Cinder grumbled in response as she shoved her chair back and rose from the table. If they'd come looking for her, it was likely time for her next council meeting or something equally unpleasant. That was the difficulty in having two councils: double the number of meetings, since the Artemisian council turned up their noses at mingling with the citizens of the outer sectors and the citizen council wanted nothing to do with "the Artemisian snobs."
"I'm learning to recognize that particular frown." Kai's eyes darted up to the display's clock again. "I should go…good luck with the lovebirds."
"If they ever hear you call them that, I don't think your diplomatic immunity is going to protect you." Cinder snorted to cover the familiar twinge in her chest that came with their goodbyes. Kai looked equally reluctant, but he was moving out of his quarters and down the palace corridors to his meeting all the same.
"Guess you'll have to protect me if they ever do." He chuckled, finally coming to a stop in a hall she recognized as being in the conference wing. "Call me tonight?"
"Of course."
"See you then." He grinned again, lifting a hand to his lips and blowing an imaginary kiss. Cinder snickered.
"Thorne teach you that, too?"
"Nah. That one's all me."
Cinder smiled as he signed off, the room plunging into a silence magnified by the sudden absence of Kai's voice. Cinder frowned as a thought struck her. It was silent. Entirely silent. At some point, the snapping and snarling in the other room had stopped. That could be either a very good or a very, very bad sign.
She strode across the room to the connecting door and pulled it open to reveal Iko and Kinney in the center of the room, staring into each other's eyes. Kinney held one of Iko's braids in one hand and murmured something Cinder couldn't hear before gently flicking it back over her shoulder. Iko pulled away, babbling and flustered, but…pleased? Cinder stared. Well, that was a new development. Though good or bad, she still couldn't tell.
"What are you two doing in here?"
Iko jumped and Kinney stiffened as if he'd been slapped, while they each took a large step away from the other. "Nothing!"
Cinder's brows drew together. They were speaking in unison now? Brilliant.
"I…should go check on the perimeter patrols." Kinney muttered, bolting for the exit in a quick jog-walk that was just shy of being a sprint. Iko looked equally uneasy as she edged toward the door and sputtered something about looking in on the seamstresses. The seamstresses who, oddly enough, had left the palace yesterday. Cinder's eyes narrowed as she trailed after them. Nothing, indeed. Perhaps Kai hadn't been so far off, after all…