You sat on a chair that faced a wall that was nothing but a large pane of glass, the glorious sunshine causing it to be warm even though it was just springtime. Velveteen Rabbit was in your arms and you cuddled it close. It was pathetic and very much laughable to be a fully grown woman and yet be holding a stuffed toy so tight against you for comfort, but you did not care, you needed it, you needed some form of contact, something you were long lacking since that faithful day.
How Stark and the others were treating you, though well intentioned, had driven you into a slump. You had never been one to rely heavily on others, having gone to college at fifteen, and having always only ever done research projects on your own, now you felt as though you were utterly dependant, even when you did not think you needed to be. It was only a jumper, you were pretty sure they misplaced far larger items, but when you did it, it was just short of a national crisis. You became more frustrated, and after a while just wished to walk to get rid of the pent up energy you were after accumulating.
With a quick check with Friday, you were relieved to hear that the Avenger's had been sent off to deal with some issue in the Middle East, meaning at least a day of peace and quiet, with no babying. So as carefully as usual, you made your way up to the common area, with no one around, a cup of coffee would perhaps help you, then again, with your current anxiety levels, perhaps a mint or camomile tea would be a more suitable suggestion.
When you got to the common area, you walked to the kitchen area and made a tea before heading cautiously to the chair that Loki had stated he would leave the jumper on, it was not there. Though you suspected that was because of the earlier issues with regards the Avengers. It was understandable that they did not trust him, you dared to think that none really could, what he had done was unforgiveable really, but he had been under duress apparently, if Thor was to be believed, and as such, his actions were not of his own choice, surely that had to account for something, though perhaps those who had fought him were not the ones that would forgive him easily. Regardless, the argument had now meant that you were without the jumper once more, or even more frustrating, it could actually in the room with you, but you did not know it. No matter if it were two feet to your left or if it was after being burnt in some form of pagan ritual burning, you refused point blank to even think of asking the AI as to its whereabouts.
As the tea began to calm you, you decided to avail of the sunlight that was beaming in the window and took out a book you had brought with you and faced the sunlight and began to skim your finger over the Braille, slowly making your way through each page. There were a couple of occasions where you had an issue with a word or two, but with no one around to frustrate you, you were able to think your way through it and continue reading successfully.
The whirring of the elevator made your teeth clench, you were not in the mood for any of them at present, so when you heard it go to whatever floor it was beckoned to, and when it started up again, you groaned when you realised it was on its way to you again. Taking a deep breath, as the doors opened on the common room floor, you continued to read, not wanting to have to deal with whoever it was.
. "What are you doing?"
When the person seemed to have ceased walking as soon as they realised you were in the room, you had a fair idea who it was. His voice only confirmed it, and seemed to be one of pure curiosity, so you thought to answer politely. "What do you mean?"
"Why have you a book if you cannot read it?"
"There are no words in it." You explained with a small smile, thinking it amusing how fascinated he was.
"Then what use is it at all?" You heard him coming closer.
"Because there are different ways to read." You shrugged.
"I do not follow, the only way to read is to see words with your eyes and process them in your mind." You could tell from his tone, he thought you mad; it caused you to laugh involuntarily. "I fail to see the joke."
"That's because there is none. There is more than one way to read here, and to be honest, I am still learning it, but I am getting there. It is called Braille, it is a series of raised dots, which in particular formations create letters, and in turn words, it is a method of reading for those of little or no eyesight, people like me." You gave a pathetic smile as you answered.
"So that is what those peculiar things are." You were not even sure he was speaking to you in partciluar. "I was curious as to what the random lumps in the walls and furnishings were."
"Yes, Tony has a few of them around the place to help me figure out where I am."
"It appears to be one of the only useful aids he has given you." Loki commented.
"What is that supposed to imply?"
"It is blatantly clear that though the Man of Iron is under the impression he is assisting you, he, and indeed those other misfits are impeding you from achieving the independence they all claim to wish for you to have." You shifted slightly in the chair. "I was right." You could hear the pride in his voice.
"They are just trying to help." You attempted to defend them.
"I have little doubt of that, but pray tell, at any stage in all this helping have they ever asked you what it is you wish for help with?" You did not reply. "Just as I suspected."
"Out of curiosity, why do you care?"
"In particular, I don't, I simply made an observation and wished to see if I was more astute than them all. Needless to say, I am."
"I am sure you take great pleasure in that."
"Oh I do, I can assure you." You could hear the grin on his face.
Shaking your head slightly, you decided to go back to your book. "Thank you, by the way, about the jumper."
"I left it on that chair as I stated I would."
"It was not here when I arrived."
"I am not the least bit surprised." His tone stated as much. There was a moment of silence again and you could sense him looking at you. "So you really can read those little lumps?"
"It is not so hard once you get used to it."
"I refuse to believe them to be words."
"Don't believe me if you do not wish to." You shrugged. "They'll still be what they are regardless."
"Show me." You frowned for a moment as you heard him sit on the chair that was opposite to you. "Prove it."
"Okay." You were not so sure how to do so for a moment. "Well this book is called Pride and Prejudice, so get the tablet to show you the first lines in the book, and I will use my book here to read what it is the Braille is saying, and we can see if they match, is that proof enough for you?"
"It's a start." You snorted a laugh at that. So armed with the written and Braille copies of the words, you read what you had and Loki was forced to concede that it was the same.
"That is odd."
"Do they not have the same on your realm?"
"No, not really, there is nothing like what happened to you there. There is of course, battle wounds, Odin himself lost an eye in battle, but to physically have an eye in your head and not be able to use it is not common place."
"Lucky people of Asgard." You replied, with a small hint of bitterness in your voice.
"Your eyes differ from the rest of them, the black is not actually black, but…"
"Like a cloudy grey, so I have been told, they weren't like that before the…um accident."
"From the sounds of things, it was not much of an accident, the mortals that did that to you, it was intentional was it not?" You nodded. "Why do you all do such things to one another?"
"I did not do anything to warrant this, I just worked in a lab, I just wanted to stop Dr Banner from hurting others when he turned into the Hulk, and I nearly had it." You snarled angrily, thinking back to that day.
"It does not seem particularly fair."
"Yeah, well, what can I do about it now, it is not like I can reverse it, he tried, Tony tried." You stated in defeat. "I just was at the wrong place at the worst possible time." You did not need to see to be able to sense Loki's saddened face. It made you think that the being your realm had been made think was cruel and unforgiving actually had some bit of a conscience.
"I find it interesting."
"What?"
"That none of them seem to realise how greatly their actions are irritating you."
"They are not irritating me."
"Frustrating you then?" You could not give a response; he had hit the nail on the head. "Had you never said anything to them?"
Your brow furrowed. "Can I ask; why are you the least bit interested in this, any of this? You hold my people in utter contempt, so why are you concerning yourself with me in any way. Surely if most of us are useless and pathetic, then I am even more so." There was no accusation in your voice, just inquisitiveness; you felt you needed to know why he was like this.
"I have seen the darkness of your species, your lack of sight is testament to such, they had no reason to bestow such an infliction on you, Thor stated they had the ability to merely daze you temporarily, yet here you sit, with permanent bright light instead of vision."
"Pitch black actually."
"What?"
"I only see complete and utter darkness, not brightness." You explained.
"Even worse."
"I am not sure; if it was permanently bright I probably would not be able to fall asleep."
"That is true." Loki conceded.
"So, why does humanity's darkness make you act as you do with me?"
"How do you know my 'act' is not how I treat the rest of your species?" He countered; again, you could hear the grin on his face.
"You are far more complex than you let yourself appear." You noted.
"Are not most beings?"
"I thought you said you met Midgardians, as you call us."
Loki chuckled. "Were you always so scathing to your own species?"
"There is a saying here 'the more people I meet, the more I like my pet'."
"Pet?"
"Animals that humans keep for companionship." You explained.
"Like that hound you were researching?"
"No, that is actually a working dog, but they also are companionship too."
"Do you not find company in your own species?"
"Well before the accident, I was always in the lab, the people I spoke with everyday were all killed by those who blinded me, and well, I haven't actually left this tower since, so…"
"It sounds more like you are as much as prisoner here as I am."
"I am not as restricted as you are though."
"Mainly because it is not like you can see anything that is going on to use against them." He argued. You erupted in laughter to the extent that tears fell from your eyes, while Loki looked on, slightly terrified. "What?"
It took you a few minutes to get back to being able to breathe properly, having laughed so much that you found it difficult to do so. "Do you know, that since my incident, anytime someone mentions anything to do with sight in my presence, they become awkward and change the subject, but you actually use that fact in jokes."
"It wasn't a joke, it was a statement of fact." He commented.
"Well it was funny regardless."
"I am glad you find me amusing."
"Better amusing than terrifying."
"You do not fear me?" He seemed shocked.
"Not really, I mean I know you could snap my neck, but in all fairness, everyone else here could do that too, so if I were to fear you and you alone for that feat, then that would be discrimination." You winked and smiled, earning a confused look from the God, who was unsure how to process what you were saying. You rose to your feet and you made your way to the kitchen area and placed the mug in the sink to wash before walking towards the elevator. "I am not sure if it that you do not feel you have to, or if your powers of astuteness are the reason for it, but thank you for allowing me to actually do that myself."
"You are thanking me for allowing you to clean your own mess?" Loki arched a brow at that.
"Well since I have not been allowed do anything like that around everyone else."
"I am no ones skivvy."
"Well thank you regardless." You gave a small smile before leaving the room.
Loki watched you leave, taking into account what he had learnt from you while you were in each others company.