Disclaimer: Still own nothin' except for Agent Lightning.

I've used Q, Nayru, and Agent Lightning in a couple of my other fanfics, if you need more backstory. Be warned though, those fics' crack levels are over 9000.

Note: I know some of the basic concepts of the newer regions, but I haven't looked into them in that much detail. I might be off in the description or names of some items and etc. If so, feel free to correct me (preferably in a civilized manner).

Chapter 1: Taking Stock

In the middle of the Safari Zone near Fuchsia City, a dimensional vortex opened up, causing some nearby Tauros to go into stampede and burn half of the city to the ground. While the chaos unfolded, Agent Lightning tumbled out of vortex, landing hard on his back, mumbling highly obscene curses and insults. A Chansey stared at him in confusion from behind a nearby tree; he cut an impressive yet unorthodox figure, appearing to be around six feet tall and 18 years of age, with light tan skin, brown eyes, dark brown hair, yellow pants, a yellow shirt, black boots, and a black trench coat. He turned his head to the side and saw the Chansey and glared.

"What are YOU staring at?" He asked angrily, still smarting from the fall. The Chansey gave a hop and ran away as fast as her frame could take her.

Agent sat up, rubbing his back and hips, and then suddenly paused. His right eyebrow began to twitch.

"WHERE THE HELL IS MY SWORD?!" Agent Lightning leapt to his feet and roared, scaring a flock of Fearow into flight, where they eventually crashed into Saffron City, causing even more devastation.

"Don't tell me..."

Agent Lightning put his hand out in front of him and grunted, but nothing happened.

"Oh, just great, you took away my gamma ray burst powers too." He grumbled before looking up at the sky. "WHAT DO YOU EXPECT ME TO DO HERE, HUH?!"

A lone Pokeball came hurtling out of the vortex, smacking him in the face. The vortex then closed.

"FUUUUU-"

The Pokeball fell to the ground and opened, revealing the Author's Gardevoir. She immediately put her hands in her ears from the force of his shout.

"Will you SHUT UP!" Gardevoir shouted at him telepathically. "And don't even finish that word, Sage wants to keep this fic T rated!"

Agent Lightning stared at her in disbelief.

"And the Author sent you of all things here to help me? The next time I see him, he gets a knuckle sandwich on the house!"

Gardevoir folded her arms and turned her head to the side, clearly annoyed.

"You're lucky I volunteered to help you at all! Sage wanted to send you a herring instead."

Agent Lightning facefaulted.

Indigo Plateau, Pokemon League HQ...

Lance sat on his recently installed gilded dragon throne in the fourth Elite Four chamber, bored. Almost nobody came to challenge the Elite Four anymore, since defeating them would mean facing Red; the last person to face Red was still floating in orbit. Even Lance had to admit that, as strong and badass as he was, he paled in comparison to Red, who only seemed to appear when someone was foolish enough to challenge him. So, he spent his time training his dragon Pokemon, making appearances on Kanto and Johto radio and television channels, and attending wild parties when they were to be had. But above all else, he really wanted a challenger to come through those doors in front of him.

A hurried knock on the side door snapped him out of his bored reverie.

"Yes?"

The door opened, revealing a panicked Pokemon League messenger.

"Lance, sir, something is causing wild Pokemon to destroy cities! Fuchsia and Saffron are in ruins!"

Lance couldn't help but grin.

"I'll be right on it! Let's fly Dragonite!"

Lance called his strongest Dragonite out of its Pokeball, hopped on its back, and flew out of the chamber, smashing a hole in the roof.

"Arceus damn it, not again!" The messenger cried as he saw the damage.

Back at the Safari Zone...

"So let me get this straight," Agent Lightning began, his fingers held up to his chin in a mock-thoughtful pose, "the Author sent me here because he wants me to help this Anabel chick get together with Ash and to fight off the forces preventing them from doing so?"

Gardevoir nodded in response.

"And he sent me here without most of my powers in an attempt to keep Q off my back?"

"Yep!" Gardevoir said.

"I'm the King of Bullshit, and even I think this is..."

A loud thud interrupted his rant. Agent Lightning turned around and saw Lance and his Dragonite.

"...bullshit."

Lance leapt off of his Dragonite, his cape billowing behind him. He pointed at Agent Lightning.

"It was you who caused this ruckus, wasn't it?" Lance stated.

Agent smirked.

"You figured that out rather quickly. I wonder how..."

"Ask me no questions, and I'll tell you no lies." Lance said cockily. "Enough talk. In the name of the Pokemon League, you're going down! Get ready Dragonite!"

Dragonite gave a battle cry.

Agent Lightning looked to Gardevoir.

"Well, you're the Author's Pokemon, so I'm assuming you can take this chump out."

"You can say that..." Gardevoir said coyly. "Here, you'll be needing this."

A key stone appeared on Agent's wrist.

"Mega evolution? That's it? Lame!"

Gardevoir huffed in mild annoyance.

"Can it, you! My Mega Evolution happens to be a bit different."

Agent glanced at the key stone and saw that it was for Gardevoirite HAX. He grinned.

"Yes! Time for some haxorz, hahahah!"

Agent Lightning activated Gardevoir's Mega Stone. A blinding white light enveloped her, causing both Lance and Agent to look away. When the light faded away, Agent Lightning had to admit he was impressed. Gardevoir was gripping a katana sword in each hand, the swords glowing in a purple light. Her dress had been replaced with a skin-tight outfit consisting of light purple and pink swirls of color, and her hair had been shortened to shoulder length. In battle statistics, her attack, defense, and speed had gone way up. And she had learned a few new moves.

"Pretty neat, huh?" Mega Gardevoir Hax (will continue to refer to her as Gardevoir after this for brevity) playfully said as she got into a fighting stance, her swords held out in front of her defensively.

"...Indeed." Agent said, nodding his head in appreciation while internally questioning the Author's motives. "Now then, use Psycho Swipes*!"

Gardevoir lunged at Lance's Dragonite, her swords held behind her.

"Dragonite dodge it!"

But Gardevoir was too fast. She slashed her psychic-energy enhanced swords at Dragonite repeatedly, shredding the Pokemon to minuscule pieces.

"No, no, NO! DAMN YOU!" Lance cried, backing away from Agent and Gardevoir. "This isn't over!"

Lance sent out his fastest Pokemon, Aerodactyl, and flew away.

"Hah. Like I said, what a chump." Agent Lightning said as Gardevoir changed back to her normal self. "And as for you, I think I can live with you helping me out here."

Gardevoir put her hands on her hips and stuck her tongue out at Agent.

In the sky...

Lance pushed his Aerodactyl on as fast as he could, still stunned at the sheer power this mysterious figure had, still stunned at the loss of his prized Dragonite. As he flew into a cloud, his cellphone rang. Lance dug it out of his pants pocket and answered it.

"What?!" Lance screamed into the phone.

"You failed to eliminate the interloper, Lance. I'm very disappointed." A mysterious figure answered.

Lance growled.

"He's got some sort of unique powers, I-we-we couldn't stand up to him!"

"As you well know," The mysterious figure continued, "He won't stand for such failure. I think you know what I must do."

Lance paled.

"No, wait, give me another chance-AAAAHHHHH!"

Lance screamed as he and his Aerodactyl faded out of existence.

Don't forget to leave a review! I'll continue this fic if I get a few decent reviews.

*Psycho Swipes: An attack unique to Mega Gardevoir Hax. Mega Gardevoir Hax uses her twin Katana blades to make numerous Psycho Cut attacks, inflicting overwhelming and often fatal damage to the opponent.