Bonus Content 1

Deep in the heart of the airship, two figures lounged at their seats.

"Any updates on where the fucking hell the monkey-boy disappeared off to?" Yukari Nishimiya, the Super High School Pilot, cursed, before checking yet another security camera.

"Hell if I know." Ataru Inoue, the Super High School Co-Pilot, and her boyfriend (read: servant) sighed, before checking a computer. "I've been reviewing the footage of every feed we've got since yesterday, but no sign of monkey-boy."

She slammed her head down on the console. "Crap. He's running loose around the damned airship, and we can't even find him! If he gets in here, we're all screwed!"

"At least we've got two other people out of the way, y'know?"

"Yeah. That lawyer guy was actually a threat to our plans," Yukari agreed, before her frown turned into a smile. "Plus, seeing that F-1 Racer's expression of pure despair was simply arousing!"

Ataru raised an eyebrow. "Well, I know just where you can direct said arousal."

She turned to him. "You mean you wanna-"

"-Make out?" He finished, before grinning himself.

"Oh, yes, please!"

And in her frenzy to eat face, she accidentally elbowed the remote control on the table, turning one of the televisions on.

Special Premiere: Ashley Jung VS The World

The lights in the theater dimmed, and four figures walked onto the stage. As the lights came back up, one of them spoke.

"Good evening, or whatever," said the lead singer in an exaggerated Cockney accent. "My name's Eric, and these are the boys."

"Is that girl a boy, too?" yelled Nico from the balcony.

"Yes."

The eight-year-old - Maya, was it? - flipped the bird in Nico's general direction.

She sighed and downed another drink. "Aidan, do they rock or do they suck?"

"They...haven't even started playing yet."

"That was a test, Aidan. You passed."

Eric sighed. "Either way, this song is called 'I am so sad. I am so very very sad'. And it goes a little something like this."

They played two chords. Pins dropped.

Hideki Kenta frowned. "They're good." He began to pace.

"It's not a race, guys!" yelled Nico from the balcony.

"And this song goes out to the chick who keeps yelling from the balcony!" yelled Eric. "It's called 'I hate you. Please die.'"

"Ooh, a song for me!"

"Lucille and Young Todd are out there," I said to Hideki Kenta, "Maybe they'll spread rumors about how we rock, and then people will think we rock!"

"No! Ashley, panic with me! Monokuma himself is out there...judging."

"Who?"

"Head of SHSL Despair records? Coolest artist roster in the universe? Only releases severely limited editions?"

"I heard he only releases some of his EPs into low orbit," said Jackie.

"That makes him cool?"

"The less people know about your band, the cooler you are."

"Then we are the coolest band ever," I muttered.

"It's not the same!" yelled Hideki.

We were interrupted by Eric. "This song is called 'Last Song Kills Audience.' It'll be our last song...for you all! UPUPUPUPU!"

Sound exploded from the stage.

"It actually just knocks everyone unconscious for ten seconds," muttered Jackie.

"How are we supposed to follow that?!" Hideki Kenta hyperventilated.

Ava turned to Sasha. "So, how do you know Ashley?"

"She's, umm…" Sasha calculated her answer, "She's a friend."

"I'm Ava, Ashley's sister."

Sasha nodded at something behind her. "Who're your straight friends?"

"What the-" Ava whirled around to see Nico and Aidan making out.

"Nico! How dare you?!"

Sasha looked down from the balcony to the audience. Everyone was unconscious.

Eric bowed. "Thank you." Eric and the boys then walked off-stage, passing the Heartfuls.

"Good luck," Maya muttered sinisterly under her breath, "Break a leg."

Jackie stared straight forward. "Let's break their hearts."

Sasha stared up at the opera box. Everyone else in the audience did the same. Finally, a hand emerged, and gave a thumbs down.

The reaction was immediate. Everyone in the theater began booing Eric and the Boys, who hastily ran out of sight.

A blond guy in an aviator jacket ran on-stage. "And our next performance is from Toronto and...yeah. Give it up for...the Heartfuls?"

INTERMISSION

"Harder!"

"Like this?"

"No, harder!"

"Okay...you asked for it! Here goes-"

"Oooooooow! Too hard!"

"Really? I thought you're used to this level by now."

"I dunno, maybe you got a bit more forceful lately…It's just, y'know…"

"Fine, fine. I'll get the oil."

"...Aaaaaaaah. I'm really feeling it!"

"Well, I'm almost done, how about you?"

"Anytime!"

"Alright then, finishing in three, two, one-"

"AAH! Ooooooooh..."

"There, feel any better?"

With that, Yukari sat up. The backrub had really helped relieve some of her stress.

"Yeah, I do. Thank you for the massage, Ataru!" she beamed, with a sincere smile, "And, well, now that you're done with my back…"

She slipped her shirt below her shoulders. "How about the front?"

Ataru wolf-whistled, unaware of the television show that was still going on in the background.

Special Premiere: JJ's Execution

GAME OVER

Jehovah 'JJ' Jackson has been found guilty

Commencing Execution

Switching POV to 3rd accordingly

This was certainly not the first time JJ had been in a courtroom. As a Lawyer, he had been in both the defense's and prosecution's benches, and had won every single case, no matter which side of the law he was fighting on.

Thus, sitting in the witness' chair was certainly a first. Well, not exactly sitting - he had been chained to the chair itself, with his wrists bound to the arm-rests. His feet were also chained, to the legs of the chair.

"Court is now in session for the murder of Ava Tremblay." A Monokuma with a long beard banged his gavel, before pointing towards his left. "Are the attorneys ready?"

The Monokuma he was pointing to, who wore a maroon colour suit and a cravat, bowed. "The prosecution is ready, your Honour."

"The defense is ready, your Honour." His opposition, a Monokuma in a blue suit, who sported a ridiculous pointy hairdo, nodded in return.

Elsewhere, in Los Angeles (read: Tokyo), a pair of lawyers sneezed in tandem.

Back in the mock-courtroom, JJ struggled with his bindings, before he yelled, "As the defendant, objecti-"

"Nobody cares about you! Shut up!" Judge Monokuma slammed his gavel down, before pointing at Prosecutor Monokuma, "Prosecution, you may begin with your opening statement."

LONG ARM OF THE LAW-FOOL

Super High-School Level Lawyer Jehovah 'JJ' Jackson's Punishment

"And that concludes the case."

By then, JJ was openly crying. He had to relive each and every moment of his impulse-killing all over again, and it hurt. He really hadn't meant to kill Ava, nor did he want to cover it up.

But it had to be done, and i-

"Jury, what is your verdict?"

"The jury has spoken."

Lucille DuCarde, who stood at the forefront, stared coldly at the defendant, before she loudly declared, "JJ will pay for his crimes with his life."

"Then I now declare you, Jehovah 'JJ' Jackson..."

The gavel in his hands twitched, before expanding into ten times its original size.

JJ gulped.

"GUILTY!"

The oversized mace slammed down into the defendant's chair, completely flattening it. The sounds of splintering wood and crunching bones were heard as Judge Monokuma laughed.

When it rose, nothing was left but a bloody stain on the floor. JJ had been completely obliterated.

Jehovah 'JJ' Jackson, the Super High School Level Lawyer, has been executed.

INTERMISSION

"Wait, don't we have something scheduled today?"

Ataru checked his computer, as he slipped on his shirt. "I think we do. That's why we ended early, I believe."

"Well, what is it, then?" asked Yukari, tying her hair back into pigtails, "The next motive?"

"Upupupu! Wouldn't you like to know?"

"...Wait, who was that?" asked Ataru, looking around in surprise.

Yukari blanched, "Oh shit, I think it's-"

"We're taking over!" Two figures jumped from the ceiling, before everything blacked out.

Special Premiere: Q&A Session #1

"Welcome, one and all, to the super-amazing end-Act question-and-answer session!" Spotlights moved across the stage, crossing from the curtains to the Pilots, who were strapped to chairs, and finally to the two figures.

The young man who spoke, a brown-haired guy in a long-sleeved shirt and bermuda shorts, grinned. "I'm your host, SD, and we'll be asking our poor unfortunate souls their, well, questions, and get their...answers."

"You know, we covered things succinctly with just the letters Q&A."

The new speaker, a person in a baggy Harvard sweatshirt with shoulder-length burgundy hair, added, "And I'm Lime. I'm your...other host. Not gonna say head host, but head host."

"Hey!" yelled SD.

"You know it's true!"

"Think what you want." Composing himself, SD spread his hands out, "Without further ado, say hello to our guests, the award-winning actors who portray, well, themselves, in A Flight Of Fancy Despair! Give it up for them, ladies and gentlemen in the audience!"

Two voices yelled from offscreen, "And those who are neither!"

"Exactly my point," said Lime with a sigh. "You're not supposed to generalize. For the love of god, use 'distinguished guests'."

"Hey, he can say what he wants! Just like how Todd says everything he wants to!"

The camera panned outwards to reveal eighteen people, each on their own respective sofa-chairs. Well, mostly - the Acrobat was hanging upside-down from the ceiling lights.

"Todd, get down from there! You could kill someone by dropping!" Nico admonished.

Ataru chuckled, drinking what appeared to be a martini, "Why not both? Get down from there and kill someone by dropping!"

Lime gingerly placed a hand on Ataru's shoulder. "Are you forgetting who's in charge in the bonus chapters, Mr. Inoue?"

Another hand slapped theirs away, and it was no surprise as to who it belonged to. "Hands off, he's mine." Yukari snapped.

Lime laughed. "Relax. I'm asexual, monogamous and in a committed relationship. Besides, evil isn't exactly my type."

"...Let's just get to the questions." SD checked his cue cards, "First person to be asked a question...Well, let's do this alphabetically, so...Ashley!"

The spotlight fell on the burgundy-haired idol, who beamed. According to the reviews, she'd been very well-liked and appraised by the viewers, and she was eagerly looking forward to what they had to ask her. "I'm ready. Let's do this!"

"If you had to put on a routine with three of the other students - song and choreography - which ones would you choose?" Lime asked.

"Huh," she tapped the sides of her chin, "Tough question. I mean, I'd like for everyone to be in one giant flash-mob altogether, but only three?"

SD shrugged. "That's the question, honey. Work with it."

"Well, then, Nico, Todd and Jackie, I guess," Ashley nodded, satisfied with her choices, then began to explain, "I'd be honored to have Nico create the music - with her experience, our backing track would be awesome, I'd think. And while Todd has amazing acrobatic talent, I've seen Jackie in action, and both of them would be epic dancers."

Nico smiled. "Aw, thanks, Ashie!"

"Merci." Jackie raised an eyebrow, "Although ze K-Pop routines are rather beyond my league."

"Todd'll do it anytime!" Leaping off, he landed on his chair perfectly.

"Okay, next question, Ashley, what's your favourite song?"

"Song in general, K-Pop, or international?" she asked back with a quizzical tilt of the head.

"No specifications, so, song in general, I guess."

"Oh, well, then, Jun Hyoseong-noona's Good-Night Kiss, I guess," she giggled.

"Ashley." Lime did the Will Smith pose, gesturing to the other students. "Which one of these losers is your fave?"

"I...what?" asked Ashley.

Lime sighed. "My memes are too sophisticated for you, I see. The question was, and I quote, "Do you like any of your classmates more than the others, if so then who do you like most?"

"H-Hey, don't make me choose..." Ashley looked around, "I really can't decide on anyone I like most. I like every single one of them - except maybe the pilots."

"Cheers," Ataru raised his glass. "We don't like you either."

"Speaking of the pilots, have we got a question for you!" Reading from his cue card, SD said, "Are there any ships among the cast you've noticed?"

Both pilots looked at each other, before laughing.

"Yeah, about that - do you think we'd care?" Yukari wiped a tear from her eye, "C'mon, we want them to make despair and war, not love!"

Ataru took a sip. "Yeah, making love's our thing, you know?"

The whole set was silent.

Sasha gagged. "No. Stop. Never talk again."

"For once, we agree wholeheartedly - way too much information." Hideki grumbled.

"Agreed, moving on." Lime checked their card, "Ava, why do you have a crush on Xiang?"

All eyes turned to the Hockey Player, who shrugged, "Li's a nice guy, and he's a soldier, meaning he probably has to be stronger than me. I like someone who can keep challenging me at every corner - no offense, Lucy."

"None taken." Lucille, or rather, her actress, was looking much better considering she wasn't crying her eyes out.

"Thank you." Xiang nodded with a faint smile.

"Next up," Lime grimaced, "Eric."

A few other people cringed, and the gesture was not lost on him. "Oh bloody hell, what's wrong with me getting a question?"

"I dunno, you gotta ask them." SD took the cue card, "Oh, no wonder, uh, Eric, are you gay?"

...

"That was the question?" Eric raised an eyebrow, "Well, I'm heteroflexible, thank you very much. I don't see why people make such a big fuss about that."

The others gaped at him.

Lime nodded. "So you're bisexual?"

He shrugged. "Eh. Not really. I'm straight. Just wouldn't necessarily be against dating a guy if he asked politely enough."

Maya giggled. "Are you really that desperate?"

"Aw, come on, not you too!" he sighed, "Either way, it's not a big deal. I am what I am."

"Wow, I didn't know he was going to take zhat so well." Jackie whispered to her right.

"Eric's a good guy, y'know?" Matthew whispered back, "He doesn't make a fuss about sensitive stuff more than he has to."

A hand gripped both of their shoulders. "Oi, lovebirds, what are you guys going on about?"

SD grinned. "Just for that, I'm gonna stop going alphabetically, and ask the next question: Matthew, Jackie, describe your relationship, stat."

A chorus of "Ooooooh!" sounded out.

Jackie turned bright red. "We are friends, if zhat is what you mean. What, you think a girl and a boy cannot be just platonic friends?"

"No, that's not it at all...it's just-"

"Well," Matthew interjected, "Honestly, how far our relationship goes is up to Jackie."

She somehow turned even redder. "Next question!"

Everyone else broke out into laughter as Lime checked their cue cards. "Okay, let's see, whoever Farm is, somebody says you're adorable."

Everyone looked around, before Tien cleared her throat, "I hypothesize the question was directed at Faen. He does have a very autocorrect-prone name, after all."

Said butler shifted in his seat, "Adorable? Well, thank you, I believe, but...Wow, I think that is the first time I have heard anyone refer to me as adorable."

"Good for you, mate! Also, you got another question: Out of everyone on this ship, who do you think will be the person you become good friends with?"

"Person?" He frowned, "Isn't there an option to pick 'persons' instead?"

"Them's the breaks."

"Then...Oh dear, can I pass?"

Lime shook their head. "No. Actually - wait, can he?"

SD shrugged. "I don't think we planned on this. 'Sides, I think we can afford to be nice enough to Faen. We'll allow it. Next!"

Beat.

The two hosts turned to Yukari. "Oi, Yuka, I don't suppose you have that with you?"

"That? That what?"

Reaching into the hyperspace pocket behind her, Yukari pulled out a familiar face - or the lack of it. "The fire extinguisher?"

"Oh shit," muttered Sasha, turning even paler than normal.

"Hey, Fire Extinguisher, the moment you met Sasha, what were your thoughts?"

There was no response.

"Well, that was easy. Sasha, your thoughts?"

The Political Activist shifted in her seat. "Well, honestly they're pretty hard to put into words. Let me just say they were not positive. I just got slammed in the face with a large metal object. Why don't you take a wild guess what was running through my head? That's right, swear words in assorted languages. Also, why does everyone call the fire extinguisher my boyfriend? It seems an awfully weird thing to put a gender on...oh, it's because everyone perceives me as a heterosexual girl, isn't it?" She sighed deeply. "For the millionth time, I'm agender. I'm not exclusively attracted to men. And I'm certainly not attracted to that...thing."

Silence ensued, before SD looked at his character. "How long has it been?"

"Minute-twenty and counting," Nico responded.

"Okay, guess we're adding that to her bill. Next!" As he checked his cue cards his grin dropped in favour of a confused expression. "Uh, Hideki?"

"What is-" Lime looked over at his cards. "Oh. Goddamn it, Kal. Uh...Hadeki - that's H-A-D-E-K-I - why must you do this to me?"

Hideki was unamused. "The same reason why you misspell my name - I don't know."

Lime giggled. "Better watch out, or Kal will send you a fish as a gesture of affection."

Hideki's look of apathy turned to concern. "Uh, what?"

"Next question for you: Did you really lose your eyesight by looking into a laser for too long? Cause I don't buy it. You're too smart to do that."

From apathy to concern, and now concern to amusement. Hideki smiled, "That's for me to know, and you to never find out."

"Okay then. Moving on. Jackie, back to you."

SD looked at his cue cards. "Jackie, do you really get along with your sisters when it comes to the spotlight?"

At this point, Jackie stopped trying to fan her red face, and elected to put on a confused look. "I have sisters? Since when?"

"Beats me."

"I think it's to do with the 'third and youngest' part." Matthew hypothesized.

"Oh. Non non non, you misunderstand me!" Jackie held up three fingers. "Ze three I speak of are my grande-mother, my mother and yours truly! I'm an ze only child, I believe zhat's how the expression goes?"

Lime shrugged. "Close enough. Next is- ah, JJ."

Everyone turned to the Lawyer, who had been silent for the most part, and was now currently staring blankly at Lime.

"Do I gotta put on that persona again?" he grumbled, before relenting, "Eugh, fine."

Coughing, JJ shook his head, before smiling, "I'm here to kick ass and defend the law! And I'm all outta laws!"

"That doesn't even make any sense!"

"Oi. Shut it."

Lime coughed. "Ahem. If you had to dump Justice and Liberty and all those other legal words that I really don't know for one of the sweet, loving other residents of the ship- who would you choose?"

"Hmph! As if I'd ever abandon my career for someone I'd only known for two days. Especially not one of them!" he laughed, before exploding into a coughing fit.

"Figures. I'm still allergic to whatever was in that paint."

"I said I was sorry!" Ava pouted.

"Eh, don't worry, it's fine." JJ refocused his attention on the hosts, "Now, any more questions?"

"No, actually." SD threw the cue card behind him, "Okay, Johan, you're up. What's the largest number of kids you've babysitted at any one sitting?"

He beamed with pride as he answered, "One-hundred-sixty-nine. I tell you, it was no easy feat- why are you all laughing?"

"You can't possibly not laugh at 69, mate!" Eric howled with laughter.

Maya's face was a mix of two emotions, one of them annoyance. "You're so immature."

"Hey, you're giggling too!" The other did not need to be said.

Johan blinked, before sighing, "Figures."

When the clamour had died down, Lime turned to the next person down the line. "Lucille. People want to know - what's your...vital statistics? What even is-"

Without missing a beat, she calmly replied, "93-63-89."

SD raised his eyebrows. "Wow-wee. Now I wish I could do something about that for Nico, but-"

To her credit, the Electronic Dance Musician wasn't just huddling up in a ball of envy, she was also planning ways to overthrow her maker - which would never succeed.

"I've asked the only question I can of Matthew, so...Maya." Lime read out, "Maya, have you ever tried not being an asshole to people?"

"Yeah. Sometimes," she pointed at herself, "But unless you haven't noticed, I fail at being nice. Heck, I should tell you all about the one time I went to South America-"

"We don't have enough time for that story!" SD hastily interjected, before tapping his own character on the shoulder. "Nico, are you fine yet? I don't want to have to abuse my admin powers."

"...Go on. You already know the answer, anyways," she murmured back, stil green with envy.

"How'd you get into EDM?"

She perked up. "Oh. Well, actually, that's a pretty good question. I guess I just heard it one day and thought it sounded awesome, so I just up and did it. Aidan bought me a mixer for my twelfth birthday too, so I decided why the heck not?"

"Great answer!" SD moved away, muttering 'Keikaku doori' under his breath. He turned to Tien, and asked, "Tien, which branch of science do you prefer? Physics, Biology or Chemistry?"

"Chemistry," she adjusted her glasses and grinned, "There's something to be said for the energetics and elements that comprise up every manner of the modern world as we know it."

"Okay, Sasha." Lime grimaced. "I'm sorry in advance."

Sasha frowned. "It involves the red cylinder of death, doesn't it?"

"Not really." Lime sighed. "I'll start with the least awful one, ok? Who's your favorite person here?"

"Oh. That's better than I was expecting." Sasha shrugged. " While I dislike the majority of my classmates, I must say that I have a soft spot for Xiang. Ashley isn't awful either."

The mentioned two smiled warmly, although the reception from the others ("Todd doesn't like you anymore!") was less warm.

"Yeah, fuck you too, Comrade." Yukari stuck out her tongue.

"As if any of you liked me to begin with?" She sighed. "Look, none of you have talked to me much. I'm not a complete bitch, despite what most of you probably believe. Give me a reason to like you, and I will. Except for you, Nishimiya. Go to hell, and take your boyfriend with you."

"...Okay then," Lime said. "Next up: Between being referred to as your actual name for the entirety of your life or constantly being harassed (read: affectionately loved) by the fire extinguisher- which would you prefer?" They grimaced. "That's the one I was worried about."

Sasha stared straight at Lime. "I hate you. It's my birth name, not my "actual name", thank you very much. My actual name is Sasha Oryolov. And I would choose the extinguisher in a heartbeat, as much as I hate that thing."

"Okay, moving on. Ah, Todd, you've got a question: Was that training really for the circus? Or was it for military expertise?"

"Mi-li-ta-ry?" Todd echoed, "Is that some kind of dessert?"

"No, it's-" SD paused, before shrugging, "Eh, let's just assume it's for the circus, and let's leave it at that."

"Todd agrees wholeheartedly."

"Second-last question of the day, folks." Lime glanced at Xiang, "What are your thoughts towards Ava's feelings for you?"

In response, he turned to said Hockey Player. "Ava, you're a truly wonderful and loyal woman, and for that, I respect you. I would have no objection against being in a committed relationship with you, although it is purely up to you whether to pursue it."

"Aw, shucks, that means a lot…" Ava giggled - a true rarity.

"And finally, Ashley!" SD smiled, "This one's a doozy - Since you've talked to everyone so far, who do you secretly start to ship together? And do you have a crush on someone already?"

Ashley stared at the hosts. "Uh…"

"Yes…" prompted Lime.

"UH."

"Please continue." muttered SD.

"Um...I can't! Ah!"

The other seventeen people assembled watched, as Ashley Jubilee Jung turned the same shade as her hair…

Before fainting dead into the chair.

HEADLINE NEWS: TWO CHARGED IN COURT FOR CAUSING WORLD-FAMOUS IDOL TO PASS OUT ON LIVE TELEVISION

Mx. Limeade Space Dorito, one of the defendants, has gone on record to state that "How the [expletive] were we supposed to know she was gonna pass out? I'm not Yasuhiro mother[expetive]in' Hagakure. I ain't Shiki [expletive]ing Takahasi. I can't predict the consequences of my actions. [expletive]. Honestly, I don't even think this is a crime where I'm from. As an American citizen, I should be tried in Massachusetts." Beyond that, they refused to comment.

Mr. Sylveon Diancie Productions has no further comment beyond, "Meh."

They will be expected in court on Wednesday, with JJ Jackson serving as the prosecution and one 'H. Birdman' as defense.

A/N:

Review replies? Nah, we got nothing too important to reply to right now. You guys are awesome for sticking with us thus far, and I think we'll just leave it at that.

So, what now? Well, SD has his national examinations coming up, and I have finals myself, so we'll be taking a break from our usual schedule. In fact, I think that we actually started on the break early just to study. .-. Don't worry, we won't be gone very long - we'll be back in one and a half weeks tops (hopefully sooner). This is just some buffer time for the two of us to plan out the second murder in greater detail and just get a rest. After this we'll be going back to our normal absurdly fast update schedule.

And a note on Ashley Jung vs The World: There will be an option in the next poll for me to continue it (you get to watch Ashley fight the first Evil Ex). And the characters (in case you couldn't tell) were:

Scott Pilgrim - Ashley Jung

Ramona Flowers - Sasha Oryolov

Stephen Stills - Hideki Kenta

Young Neil - Todd Dunham

Knives Chau - Lucille DuCarde

Kim Pines - Jackie Ressa

Stacey Pilgrim - Ava Tremblay

Wallace - Nico Birza

Jimmy - Aidan Birza

G-Man Graves/Gideon - Monokuma/Yukari Nishiyima

Disheveled Announcer - Ataru Inoue

Crash - Eric Andrews

Trasha - Maya Metl

And as for the execution: yes, the original plan was for JJ to have killed Ava, but we changed it around for a medley of reasons.