Act 2-Omake 2 - A Day In The Life - Jehovah 'JJ' Jackson, Ace Attorney

Yeah, Lime here. CW for stereotyping based on nationality. Lots of it.

All SD, I swear.

Apologies in advance.

(SD says he's really sorry too, and that it's all completely tongue-in-cheek, and meant for the express purpose of parody. His words).

-Lime

"Court is now in session!"

Yukari, wearing a ridiculous oversized beard, slammed her gavel down on a podium. "All rise for the trial of the Super High School Level Mathematician, Matthew Tanner, accused of murdering the Super High School Level Acrobat, Todd Dunham."

The prosecution leaned dramatically against the far wall of the bench, their messy chin-length hair partially obscuring their face. They wore a white button-down with a black tie and matching black duster, and looked incredibly smug and...unlawful. "Prosecution is ready, Your Honor," Prosecutor Oryolov stated confidently, their Russian accent apparent in their speech.

"The defense is ready, Your Honour!"

A man in an unbuttoned trenchcoat and a buzzcut slammed his hands down on the table set aside for that side. "The Super High School Level Lawyer, JJ Jackson, is ready to prove my client innocent, sir!

"Objection!"

Oryolov banged their fist on the table. "I object to your use of the letter 'u' in 'honor', you colonialist shitlord!"

JJ tapped his forehead intelligently. "What are you, a Super High School Level Activist or something?"

Oryolov was taken aback. "K-kak ti znal?"

He smiled knowingly. "Just a hunch. And for the record-"

SLAM! "Objection!"

"Woah!" Prosecutor Oryolov found themself blown away. Such was the sheer power of his yell, they were instantly drawn to his charismatic, strong voice.

"I am from Scotland, Prosecution!" He folded his arms in a badass armfold. "And thus, I have every right to add a 'u' to my 'honours'!"

Yukari, who was lazily swinging her gavel around, slammed it down. "Objection sustained. Now get on with the trial itself, will ya? Comrade Prosecution, your opening statement."

Oryolov gritted their teeth. "Chortovaia cuckla...I mean, the-"

"Penalty awarded to the prosecution for insulting the judge." Yukari yawned. "Try again, and I'll declare the defendant 'Not Guilty'."

They gritted their teeth even harder - JJ could see them growing visibly shorter. "Uh, yes. The defendant, Matthew Tanner, was last seen saying that he was going to go talk to Todd about something mysterious. There was also blood found on the soles of Tanner's shoes, which upon analysis was found to belong to the victim. The knife that is suspected to have been used as a murder weapon was also found in Tanner's dresser. It certainly makes a compelling case for his guilt."

"K. Now, defense, your statement?"

JJ smiled, and spread his arms in a large weave. "The defense believes that the defendant, Matthew Tanner, cannot possibly be guilty of this crime, on the basis that the prosecution is a selfish lying bitch, and is obviously not educated enough to see who the real murderer is."

Oryolov glared. "I have a law degree. And I'm not lying - that'd be illegal! In fact, here's the analysis of the blood on his shoes!"

JJ looked at it. "Yes, but my client isn't guilty."

"You can't just state-"

"Overruled, Comrade!" Yukari cackled. "Don't tell the defense attorney what to do!"

Oryolov folded over, not even bothering to argue. "Should I call a witness, then?"

"Go right ahead," he smiled wanly, "Do know I've already talked to all of them and the members of the jury ahead of time, so pick wisely."

Oryolov sighed weakly. "The prosecution...calls Ava Tremblay to the stand."

"Ataru?"

Ataru, dressed in a bailiff's outfit, bowed, before going off to fetch said witness.

A woman walked up to the stand. She was wearing tons of under-armour, a bombadier hat, and...moose antlers?

"Ugh...Witness, state your name and-"

The woman pulled a hockey stick out of her cleavage, and pointed it at the prosecutor. "Eh, what's the big idea, eh? You gotta be polite if you're a-boot to talk to a Canadian like me, eh!"

(Limenote: SD would like to sincerely apologize to all Canadians out there, and wishes to explain that he is doing this for the sake of parody, and not to insult anyone in any way. He has quite a few Canadian friends, and is pretty sure he won't retain them after this. Go figure.)

"...What."

Prosecutor Oryolov facepalmed. "Please state your name and occupation."

"I be Avarielle McKenzie Tremblay!" she waved her hockey stick triumphantly, before calming down, and pulling out a pitcher of maple syrup from out of nowhere.

Chugging it down in one large gulp, she burped loudly. "But you can just call me Ava, eh?"

Oryolov stared blandly forward. "Why did I even bother taking the Bar Exam? This isn't what I wanted to do with my life. Why this? Why me? Ugh!"

JJ raised an eyebrow. "Because your only other option was to become a social recluse for life?"

Oryolov glared at him. "I have friends! Well...friend, but still! In fact, I'll call him to the stand right now!" It was clear they were starting to break down emotionally.

"And I said whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat, eh? You call-a me to the stand then take me away before I can even say anything related to de case?" Ava focused her scarlet gaze on the Prosecutor, who shrunk in fright. "You'se a gotta be kidding me, eh!"

"O..okay," muttered Oryolov timidly, "I-I'm-"

"Meh, I'll allow it." Yukari banged her gavel down. "Bailiff, bring the Prosecutor's only friend into the courtroom, will ya, luv?"

"Anything you ask of." Ataru bowed, before approaching the Hockey Player, who had mysteriously filled her pitcher with more maple syrup from lord-knows-where. "Ms. Tremblay, if you please?"

"D'awwww…But I didn't even get to say my opening pitch- oi, what's de big idea, lemme go, eh!" she screamed, as Ataru held onto her neck with an extendable claw, and removed her - forcibly - from the witness stand.

"Alright, then." Oryolov cleared their throat. "I call...Xiang Li to the stand."

A young man in a dark coat and long scarf walked up to the podium.

Proecutor Oryolov smiled. "Witness, please state your name and occupation for the courts just to make it official."

"好！我是全世界的超级高中战士，名字叫香梨！"

Their smile faltered. "...In English, please."

"Ah, eh, it is sure!" he replied, pausing after every word, William Shatner-style. "Mine name is, eh, you know, the famous, the famous...Xiang! Xiang Li! I am Super High School Level Soldier! Very great to be here!"

(Limenote: SD would now like to sincerely apologize to all people who do not speak English fluently, especially all of our Chinese/Singaporean readers, and assures you that he is suffering even more than any of you are because this hurts his race, country AND writing style. But parodies for parodies' sake.)

"G-Good to see you, Xiang," said Oryolov. "And, uh, can you testify as to the fact that we are friends?"

"Verily much yes, indeed! I enjoy talking with Sasha long time. They interesting person and good friend too!"

Oryolov smiled. "Take that, Jackson. While we're at it, why don't you name one friend that you have?"

"Sure." JJ reclined against his specially-made king's armchair. "He'd right here in this room...isn't he, Xiang?"

"Yes!" Xiang said, in perfect English. "And prosecutor Oryolov was wrong - they don't have any friends!"

Oryolov shrank into themself. "I-Xiang?"

"That's right!" Xiang walked over to the defense's bench. "I was on the defense the whole time!"

JJ embraced him with a hug, and a full on kiss across the lips. "Indeed you were, my dear Xiang," he said loudly, before turning his attention back to the court. "Now, let us end this case once and for all!"

Yukari smirked, and pointed her gavel at them both. "So it shall be. Defense, your closing statement?"

Oryolov gasped. "I...I…" and then they began to shout. "I can't believe this! This entire trial is a sham, and even at the end of it we have no idea who killed poor Todd! It's just been humiliation and racist stereotypes and is Jackson even attracted to men? None of this is in any way similar to canon and no justice has been served! WHO KILLED TODD?"

"Well, isn't the answer obvious?" Out of nowhere, JJ put on sunglasses, a large, oversized coat, and long baggy pants. He pointed two finger-guns at them. "You!"

Oryolov gasped, tears streaming down their face. "H-How did you know?!"

An evil cackle sounded out from the judge's chair. "It's obvious that you, Sasha Oryolov, framed your father! You are the true Kitchen Knife Killer!"

Oryolov gasped. "I-it's true, but...the voices! The voices told me to do it!"

Yukari giggled. "Are those your final words, then? In that case, it's Punishment Time!"

A red button magically appeared, as JJ laughed in the revelry of his victory. Yukari practically squealed in delight as she yelled, "I declare the prosecutor, Sasha Oryolov, GUILTY!"

GAME OVER

Sasha Oryolov has been found guilty

Commencing Execution

Keeping POV in 3rd accordingly.

Sasha looked up at the courtroom. The faces of their peers glared at them.

'This is it,' they thought. 'I'm going to die'.

'Bring it on'.

Three men in black suits emerged from behind Sasha, silently, before grabbing their arms and-

"HOLD IT!"

A voice yelled, as the doors to the courtroom opened. The men looked at the newcomer in confusion.

"Hey, Dave, did we-"

"I dunno who this kid is, no."

"Goddamn it, Dave-aah!"

In the time they had dropped their guard, Oryolov had managed to escape from them and grab their gun. Then, they gasped, as they felt a strong grip pull their wrist behind their back, forcing them to drop said gun.

JJ smiled triumphantly. "Did you really think you could get away with that?"

Xiang stood behind him. "It's over now, Oryolov. You never stood a chance against the JJ Jackson."

Dave and his fellow goons formed yet another line behind Xiang. "You're a menace to society and must be stopped, and the only one who can do it is our last hope - JJ Jackson," said Dave in a cold monotone.

Sasha struggled. "No! This can't be!"

"...Can Todd come back into the story now?" A confused Acrobat, having opened the doors moments prior, asked no one in particular, as the whole scene went black.

A/N: Once again. I'm sorry.

We won't respond to reviews this chapter, but whoever's friend SomeSnappyName is - please thank them and tell them that we appreciate every review and that they should keep reviewing. That goes for everyone - reviews are great and appreciated.

The trial may take a while, but it'll be twice as great as the previous one - definitely worth the wait.

Leave all thoughts in the reviews, and also the forum.

And, as usual, the evidence list:

==Monokuma File #2==

Victim: Xiang Li. Estimated Time of Death: 1130 hours. Cause of Death: ...Unknown? Again?

Why am I strangely not surprised? It seems like Monokuma- no, the pilots, are being unhelpful. At least Hideki's still doing an autopsy...Still can't forgive him for what he tried to pull, though.

==Kitchen Knife File==

The victims of the Kitchen Knife Killer, Matthew Cavendish, were all red-headed women in their early twenties. They were stabbed once in the stomach, then again in the chest, and left with a laminated index card saying 'case open'. The killings were the result of pure sadism, with no ulterior motive.

==Tien's Suspicions==

Tien believes that Sasha, due to being the only one with prior knowledge of Cavendish's MO as well as having a perceived fascination with his killings, may be a copycat killer.

==Sasha Oryolov Profile==

According to the profile that Tien showed me, Sasha not only exhibits a lack of remorse, but also psychotic episodes, violent tendencies and paranoid delusions.

==Hideki's Autopsy==

The lack of blood in Xiang's bedroom indicates that the stab wounds on Xiang's body may have been done post-mortem, or the blood splatter from said wounds ended up on the murderer, who took it with them as they left. To be confirmed after Tien has gotten her gloves on the case.

==Papers in the Pool==

What appears to be a mess of papers have been strewn about the bottom of the swimming pool. The papers appear to be blank, however...Or is it just a trick of the eye?

==Knife==

Another kitchen knife. This one was found inside the Female Changing Rooms, wrapped in a towel. There appears to be no trace of blood on it.

==Motive==

Sasha's speech got most people to reveal their secrets, but some abstained. Hideki, Xiang, Maya and Nico neglected to reveal their secrets to everyone. There is also the possibility that someone lied about their secret.

==No Innocents==

Due to the circumstances surrounding the discovery of the body, none of its four discoverers can be declared innocent as of yet.

==State of Xiang's Door==

While Xiang's door wasn't locked, it was somehow fastened or barricaded shut, as Sasha had to kick it open. It wasn't a very strong fastener, as they were able to open it in one kick - a locked door typically takes two to three.

==Piece of Paper==

A piece of paper with fragments of words still legible. It almost seems familiar, but I can't quite place it...

==Broken Washing Machine==

Maya broke the Washing Machine sometime last night. She attempted - and failed - to fix it this morning, so it's not working.

As with anything she ends up touching.

==Bloody Labcoat==

This labcoat appears to have blood all over its torso and sleeves. Whose blood it is, I can't say for sure, but there appears to be quite some amount on it.

Nothing on it suggests who it belongs to...but the size...

==Marked Cup==

Johan found this disposable cup in the trash can. It has a large, black dot at the bottom of it, in what appears to be either black marker or black ink. What could this mean? Did someone put this mark here on purpose?

==Piece of Wood==

A small piece of wood, probably whittled or taken from either the storage room or an outside source. What could be its purpose?

==Calling Card==

A piece of paper found on top of Xiang's body, absolutely identical to the Kitchen Knife Killer's calling card.

==Xiang's Diary==

Xiang's personal journal. He's chronicled the events up to yesterday, and it appears as if he wanted to talk to Sasha in private.

Then...why was he avoiding them?

==Hideki's Autopsy==

Xiang was stabbed once in the chest, and once in the stomach with a sharp object, about 3 millimeters - most likely some sort of knife. However, it appears as if he was also poisoned, and he died to said poison and not blood loss.

No other wounds, or even bruises, were found on his body- wait...

==Poison==

Whatever Xiang was killed with, Hideki suspects it wasn't too fast-acting a poison. That would mean that Xiang would have to have ingested the poison sometime during the day.

The question, really, is when?

==Note==

I wrote this note to myself if ever in case Hideki was actually going to kill me the night before. It reads: I was invited to Hideki's room at...11.25p.m. If you find this and I am no longer alive, you know where to look.