The fallout happened when it was almost too late to be considered morning anymore, Nigel awoken by soft, wet noises. Reaching for Adam, Nigel found only an empty spot beside him, the sheets there cold to his touch. Sitting up, Nigel saw Adam sitting on the floor in the closest corner by the bed, hunched over his knees and crying into his shaking palms.

Getting up, Nigel shuffled over, still exhausted from their long trek from the Bronx. The blizzard hadn't helped matters either, the two men arriving back to Adam's brownstone half frozen. They had taken a long hot shower together to warm up, afterward piling into bed with every comforter that Adam owned layered on top of them. Too tired and emotionally tapped to do much of anything else, both had fallen asleep with barely a word exchanged between them.

"Shhh, shhh…" Nigel began to soothe, reaching for Adam to have the man recoil. Already cornered, Adam had no place to go, only managing to knock the air out of his lungs to avoid having Nigel's hands on him.

"Don't touch me!" Adam wailed, wincing as his elbows' funny bones connected with the wall, realizing belated he had nowhere else to go. He had just wanted the contact the corner provided so that he could try to focus. Hiding his eyes behind his hands didn't help either, Adam seeing other people's blood still covering Nigel as he let himself think about last night. He had been doing so since he woke up in a cold sweat an hour before Nigel.

Nigel's heart lurched in his chest, unsure of what to do. Sighing, he sat down on the floor next to Adam, making shaking shoulders touch a steady body. Putting his arms around Adam despite his protests, Nigel gently pulled the younger man into him until Adam was basically sitting in his lap, sobbing into his greying chest hair. Nigel let him, having much worse than some tears and snot on him before. As far as he was concerned, he was the source of it so he might as well man up and deal with it. Eventually, Adam tired himself out into making dull noises, Nigel gently rocking him and running his fingers through his curls.

"Did you kill that man last night?" Adam whispered, the words muffled into Nigel's chest, his fingers curling into the hair there tight enough to make Nigel wince.

"Yes. Yes, I did." Nigel admitted tonelessly, not wanting to have this conversation. He didn't give a flying fuck about anyone he had ended breathing with extreme prejudice while in New York, but this…This felt like sin, like he was forever ruining something pure.

"But why? Hurting people is bad." Adam said looking up at Nigel with those big beautiful eyes, made all the more so by his tears. In his mind's eyes, to Nigel it was like pairing diamonds with sapphires.

"Well, my darling, he was a bad man who got what was coming to him, believe you me. Besides proving there really is no honor among thieves and Italians, he also broke many promises and some very important truces. He stabbed me and would have killed many more of my people if I hadn't stopped him. If you hadn't found me that night, I would have died. I may hurt people because I like it, but most of the people I hurt deserve it. There are no innocents in my business." Nigel said softly, stroking locks of hair out of Adam's face.

"What is your business? What do you do for a living? You never told me." Adam asked, getting a strange feeling that he was not going to like the answer.

"You never really asked, my darling." Nigel shook his head. Ignorance was truly bliss to some extent. He didn't want to risk Adam any more than he was planning on doing so. If his enemies ever got a hold of Adam, Nigel already knew he would burn the world or sell of pieces of it to get him back. Adam would be safer here in New York with an ocean between them, but Nigel would not be parted from him. "The less you know about it, the better. The safer you will be. Just know that is not a normal 9-to-5 job. Lucrative but it has its downsides as well. "

"One of them being that you kill people." Adam said, wiping his face off with the backs of his hands. Now that he had cried his eyes out, his head was clearing up enough so he was about ready to have this conversation with Nigel. He knew it was often believed by neurotypicals that people with Asperger's syndrome could not feel emotions, the combination of social ineptness and inability to express emotions in an understandable way to them enforcing this opinion.

Like most other Aspies, Adam felt everything that anyone else felt such as sadness, happiness, anger, and so forth. It was just that he processed and communicated those emotions far differently than the people around him. Meaning Adam could deal with certain emotions and stressful situations faster, like the one at hand, more so than a neurotypical who would still be dwelling on and panicking about the events involving Fat Tony's death. As much as Adam didn't like violence or what he was currently learning about Nigel, his emerging calm came from the fact that Adam hadn't known Fat Tony. He couldn't bring himself to care about a person he'd never met before and whose death had no bearing on his life.

"When I have to, yes." Nigel said, watching as Adam's face became its normal placid mask of calm. He had no idea what was going on in his beloved's pretty head, but he hoped it worked out in his favor. Adam seemed to be settling down in his arms. He still held himself stiffly but he was no longer looking pale or crying.

"Are you going to kill me?" Adam asked point blank in a voice calm and neutral enough to make Nigel cringe.

"What?! Fuck! No, Adam" Nigel snapped, huffing out his anger as he gave Adam a little shake to make the man look him in the eyes. He touched their foreheads together so he could covers Adam's mouth with his own, speaking the next words directly into it. "I would die without you."

"I don't see how." Adam said, the movements of his lips upon Nigel's own like teasing kisses.

"Adam, what I'm trying to say is that if anything ever happened to you, I would kill myself." Nigel promised, kissing Adam hard between his words so his answer was sloppy and rough. "After I killed anyone involved with your death."

"That's horrible. Why would you do that?" Adam asked, pulling back so he could catch some air. Nigel was being too rough, his teeth catching on his lips enough to make them bleed. He wasn't allowed to go far, Nigel leaving off of his mouth so that he could wrap his arms tight around Adam, hiding his face in Adam's neck so that the younger man's chin rested on the back of Nigel's head.

"Because this life isn't necessary if you aren't here with me to spend it with." Nigel admitted, listening to Adam breathe in his scent and turn his head to nose his silvering hair.

"But you do have a necessary life. Here with me. I want you alive." Adam told him in return, letting himself run his hands over a broad back and down to his sides. Feeling the play of muscles there, Adam found the scar of the wound that started this all. "I don't like what you do, but I still need you."

"So you'll still wait for me always? You still want me?" Nigel withdrew far enough so he could look again at Adam and studied that expressionless face that spoke volumes to him, only him.

"Yes. Always." Adam promised so simply, like it was the most obvious thing in the world to do, like him promising to inhale and exhale.

Letting Adam go to settle him back in the corner, Nigel knew that they needed to start get moving if they were to make their evening flight, having already slept the morning away. Pausing long enough to drop a comforter over Adam to keep him warm and give him some space and time to decompress, Nigel began to pack, emptying out Adam's closets. He had already found Adam's passport so when he got dressed, Nigel pocketed it along with Adam's Asperger's Alert Card in case there was complications at the airport. He knew security didn't like twitchy people.

"You need to eat. We leave soon." Nigel told the lump in the corner, setting a bowl of bran flakes and milk within reach after a quick trip to the kitchen for provisions. He sighed in relief when the bowl disappeared under the comforter. Adam's head popped out a moment later, frowning down at the cereal.

"I can't eat cereal. It's almost lunch time." Adam said, handing Nigel back his far too late to be eaten now breakfast. He disappeared back under the comforter, muffling his next words."Harlan will have to be informed about us leaving. He won't be happy about it. I don't think he likes you very much."

"And here I thought you missed social cues." Nigel snorted, eating the damn All-Bran. He was looking forward to not dining on cardboard ever again. "We give him a call, or you will to be exact. What do you want to take? We can have it all shipped and sort through it later if you can't decide."

"Are you going to keep hurting people?" Adam asked, peeking out of the comforter again.

Sighing, Nigel crouched back down beside Adam, careful to not touch him. "Yes." He said, refusing to lie to those too blue eyes anymore as he was considered and his answer weighed.

"Can you not do it in front of me?" Adam asked, choosing his words with care. He wasn't happy about any of it, but it would mean giving up Nigel if they couldn't reach a compromise.

"Yes. Yes, I can do that." Nigel said. "May I ask you a question?"

"You already did." Adam pointed out to watch Nigel roll his eyes at his sense of mistimed humor.

"Will you come with me? I don't want to force you." Nigel said. Adam didn't really had a choice, but Nigel would hate himself less for it if Adam came with him on his own. "I need you to come with me. I love you, my darling, more than I can put into words. Will you go back to Romania with me and live there? Can you do that for me?"

"No…Yes…Maybe." Adam's answered jumped as quickly as his mind processed possibilities. "I can try."

"Don't hate me." Nigel tried not to beg. He leaned in, this time Adam not avoiding his touch so Nigel kissed him slow and sweet. He ended up pulling Adam into his arm and lap again, needing to feel the man's close to him.

"I don't hate you, Nigel." Adam murmured. "I'm scared."

"That's so much worse." Nigel said, aching in ways he never knew he could. "I could never hurt you."

"I know that. I'm not scared of you." Adam corrected. "I'm scared for you. If I hadn't found you, you would have died."

"Then you'll just have to be my lucky star then, and guide me back home when I am lost."

OoOoO

"Adam, are you sure about this?" Harlan sighed, still not believing he was going to let his oldest friend's son leave with a tattooed hooligan to a foreign country.

"Yes. I have to go." Adam said as he put his suitcases in the back of Harlan's work van. The man had offered the couple a ride to the airport. Nigel was less than thrilled about it when Adam accepted the offer on their behalf. "I'll be engineering microchips for satellite guidance systems. You see…"

"I'm can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm gonna miss all that space stuff. New York is going to feel a whole lot smaller without those stars." Harlan said, glaring at Nigel who gave him his own hard look in return.

"That is a strange perception. Just look up if you want to see the stars." Adam advised, fussing over his suitcases. The back of Harlan's van was messy, Adam trying to make sense of it before he went back to get the rest of his stuff.

"God help you if anything happens to that boy." Harlan said quietly, leaning in so Adam couldn't hear over the ruckus he was making reorganizing his tools. To his surprise, Nigel simply nodded before turning back to return to the apartment.

"Uh, I want you to know, I made that call." Harlan told the back of Adam's head now that he had a chance, the kid messing up his layer system of chaos with all his neatness. "It, uh, took me a while to find her, but we're–we're gonna meet up. The woman's even more stubborn than I am."

"Oh, yeah?" Adam said, obviously not paying attention and wondering why Harlan needed five hammers all in the same size for.

"I'm just trying to say 'thank you', damn it." Harlan said. He was going to miss this too, these awkward, stilted conversations with Adam. Old age was really making him a sentimental old fool.

"Oh. Oh!" Adam paused what he was doing to register all the information. "You're welcome, Harlan."

"Adam, listen to me. Are you sure about all this? About leaving with Nigel? Romania is a long ways away." Harlan tried one last time to bring Adam to his senses.

"This is the last of it." Nigel interrupted, three suitcases and a carry-on in hand, the later the only thing he packed for himself. Not risking any evidence being found if by some small miracle or other act of god, Nigel had burned most of the clothing he had worn during his stay in New York, the only survivor his dachshund shirt. The guns had already been dissembled and scattered, metal pieces finding their way through various sewer gates all over Manhattan.

Setting the suitcases in the van, Nigel looked up, feeling Adam's hands upon him framing his face. Closing his eyes, he leaned up as Adam leaned in, the kiss between them soft and sweet enough to make Harlan roll his eyes, the old man shaking his head.

"Yes, Harlan. He's a liar I can love." Adam said softly, missing Harlan's look of dismay. Nigel heard his sigh of defeat though, reveling in it.

"Well, let's get you gone then."

OoOoO

Romania was hot, loud, and full of movement. His fingernails biting into Nigel's palm, Adam relied on the man to guide him safely through the chaos, a stranger in a strange land. Finally back in his element, Nigel seemed completely at ease here though, making people move out of his way like he owned everything, shouting and cussing and laughing as he went. He seemed to be looking for something, smiling when he saw it. Adam found himself being led through the airport's chaotic fray to a dark, fancy looking car that seemed to be waiting just for them right outside the airport. The men that came with the car looked quite unfriendly, Adam wanting very much not to meet them. He wasn't left much of a choice though, finding himself loaded into the car with them along with all his luggage in the trunk.

"It's about fucking time, Nigel. How was your vacation? Kill anyone interesting?" Darko grumped at his fearless leader and business partner.

"I stayed pretty busy. We can move our people in now. Send them in before the Italians find some bravery in their balls again." Nigel said, maneuvering Adam so that he was sandwiched between the door and himself. Even though they had flown first class with all its bells and whistles, the experience had been draining for Adam who looked in desperate need of some peace and quiet.

"And who it this? The infamous Adam I've been hearing so much about? What's a matter? Cat got your tongue?" Darko leaned in for a better look at the person who had managed to catch the attention of the Romanian Ripper. He backed up instantly upon noticing Nigel's face, putting his hands up in the arm to signal no malicious intent or threat on his part.

"Yes, this is my darling, Adam. He's feeling unwell so you are going to leave him alone." Nigel said pointedly, Adam turning into his side to hide his face with his hands over his ears. He was desperately trying not to have a panic attack, everything too much and too new, and there were too many strangers in the car with him.

"Very well. Where do you wish to go now that you're back? The club…" Darko began to be waved off.

"I want to see my new place. Take me home." Nigel said, rubbing circles into Adam's back as he felt the man begin to shake. "We'll talk shop later."

Darko kept his mouth shut after that but nothing could keep the smirk off of his face.

OoOoO

Nigel was pleased that the former church that was to be his and Adam's new home had a brand new, state-of-the-art security gate around it, complemented with a plethora of video cameras. He stayed in the car with Adam while his men unloaded their suitcases from the trunk, bringing the luggage in for them. Kicking Darko out of the car, Nigel spoke to Adam in a low soothing voice until the man stopping shaking, his breathing returning mostly to normal.

Carrying Adam bridal style into their new place when he quietly refused to leave the car, Nigel's face promised pain and blood to anyone who dared to react to that, though Darko looked like he was having the time of his life. He gave Nigel the passcodes for the house and a jaunty wave before heading out, the gates closing behind the car. A quick look around the neighborhood informed Nigel that Darko had hired more than just a few guards, most of them discretely tucked out of sight as to not alarm Adam or raise any suspicion.

Nigel had to set Adam down to set the security system, but he looked like he was doing better already now that everyone was gone. He curiously peeked around Nigel to look at the garden illuminated by fully restored cathedral windows, inlaid with cut crystal panels instead of stained glass. Rainbows danced over everything as the late afternoon sunlight filtered in, making the garden glow with vitality. Even Nigel, who was not one for nature, had to admit it was pretty damn impressive looking with its fountain made from the Virgin Mary statue turned Aphrodite. The water from the fountain fed into a stream, little pieces of the garden connected together by carved stepping stones and little bridges.

A sweeping staircase that was once meant for the clergy to ascend took them up to the second level, the space within only decorated with the bare necessities so that Adam could pick out whatever style of furniture he wanted. Nigel was going to kill Darko, or at the very least maim him, when he saw their bed though.

"Why is the bed shaped like a heart? I can't sleep in that. My sheets won't fit it." Adam said, studying what could have only come from some tacky ass honeymoon suite from god knows where motel with illusions of grandeur.

"Darling, we are going to have to invest in something larger than a twin." Nigel growled, lighting a cigarette as he considered burning the bed with it. He texted Darko instead. "You are correct though. We are not sleeping in that monstrosity."

N-**I should make you into pork rinds and feed you to your damn dogs, you prick**

D-**I thought you'd feel right at home, my friend. Don't faggots sleep on hearts and rainbows?**

N-**I'm going to feed you your own balls**

D-**Tsk, tsk. Has Adam taught you nothing about foreplay?**

N-**the clock is ticking on my benevolence**

D-**tell adam to take his cock out of your ass and relax. the real bed is already on its way.**

"The new bed will be here soon…" Nigel said to an empty room, Adam no longer by his side studying the bed. A quick look around found Nigel another door, this one leading up to the third floor and final story. Bulletproof glass made to look like spires and parts of the church created a surrounding of protection from potential snipers and looky-loos alike while keeping to its theme. The middle of roof had been stripped away to be left open, revealing an open expanse of sky already saturated in the colors of the receding sun. Little stars crept out from under the folds of dusk, winking and blinking themselves awake to look down on them. The look on Adam's face was worth everything and more to Nigel as he watched his beloved stare up at the sky.

"So what do you think?" Nigel finally asked. He knew Adam could be out here all night if he didn't.

"I think that Orion is emerging and that if we stay out here long enough we'll see Aldebaran and Pleiades as well." Adam said, making Nigel smile as he gathered Adam up on his arms to hold him close. "When it is dark enough, you can see the stars."

"I love you."

"I know."

OoOoO

The End