"So you mean to tell me that you almost forgot to get the meat out for the dinner?" I said, drying myself, still in my swimming trunks. Lilia was still in her bikini, doing something in the kitchen.

"Yeah, I got the meat from the butcher this morning. But I forgot to get it out of the water, like he told me to." She grabbed a huge chunk of meat with some kitchen pliers. "Well, we're saved. This meat's still good."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, it's still good." She turned to look at me. "Why don't you get dried off and change? This is going to take just a little while?"

I nodded. "All right." I retreated into the bathroom and dried my hair and changed into clean underwear and my suit. Took about a half hour or so, but I came out feeling fresh and new.

Lilia still hadn't come downstairs. I decided to take a look in the kitchen to see how things were doing. The meat was cooking in the pan. She'd added some seasoning and garlic, green bell pepper, and onion. My mouth watered and my stomach started cramping.

Beside the stove was a….was she making tortillas? She wasn't just heating them….she was making white flour tortillas! There were several bowls in the sink and a tortilla maker beside to present as evidence.

I guess tonight's dinner was going to have a Mexican theme to it. I looked in the fridge just to see if there was anything I could chew on, even it was just cream cheese. Just until the real food came.

Wow, she was really Mexican this evening. She was making a tamarind drink. Of course, she I knew that I love those. Well, I grabbed some crackers from the closet while I went to sit down.

*Whistle!*

She had a very neat tablecloth, candles in the middle, and the plates, cups and silverware were arranged in a special order. I mean, even the napkins were neatly arranged! They were folded in a way I'd never seen. Or thought possible.

I was admiring the table when I heard footsteps coming down the stairs. I looked up to see a beautiful princess coming down. She was wearing a turquoise dress, and matching shoes, with blue diamond earrings.

Real blue diamonds.

Her usually straight hair was in long, wavy tresses and had a very sweet perfume that would remind you of a flower field in the spring, even on Mars. I…well; to put it in the simplest words in the modern English language…I could only smile.

I just can't describe what I felt when I saw her. I smiled in the best way I knew and slowly walked over to her. Her eyes shone in the candlelight as I put my arms around her waist and pulled her closer to me.

"You look divine," I said, kissing her on her soft, pink lips.

She smiled, her cheeks flushing. "Thank you. You look so handsome and cute!" She hugged me into a bear hug and…well, she stopped just in time before my ribcage busted. Wow, this girl's strong!

"Well, excuse me for a minute, my Prince Charming, but I need to check on dinner."

She went to the kitchen while I went to sit down at the table. She'd even set up bowls with tortilla chips and hot sauce.

I smiled at the thought of that. She was going to all this trouble and hard work to please me. She wanted to make this the worlds' best dinner date. "Fajitas are almost ready!" she yelled from the kitchen.

"All right!" I yelled back. "Sure you don't need help with anything?"

"No, I'm fine."

"Sure?"

"Well…could you get two glasses out and serve the tamarind drink?"

"Okay." I got up and went in the kitchen and grabbed two clean glasses from the sink. After I'd filled them I returned to the table to set them. I was about to say something to Lilia when the bell rang. "I'll get it!" I shouted.

I went over to look through the peephole. It's so dark I can't see. Well, of course it is, you dummy, because it's night! Turn the porch lights on! Wait, they don't work! Well, if it's a murderer…then get ready.

"Roger?!"

He smiled weakly. "Hey, Spiny. How you doing?"

"Uh…I'm…fine. How are you, Roger?" I'm in the middle of a romantic evening so get out of here!

"Who is it, Spiny?" Lilia shouted.

"Nobody, just Roger."

He pretended to look offended. "Well, thanks a lot." I still hadn't let him in. I figured he was going to say something quick and just leave. Lilia came walking to the front door. "Oh, hi Roger."

Roger's eyes popped open and his mouth dropped five feet. Okay, maybe just five inches, but you get the idea. You understand metaphors, right? Of course you do! You do, right? Ah! Never mind!

"WOW! You look…fascinating!" he said, admiring her.

I mentally kicked myself. You see, genius! You told her she looked beautiful, divine, gorgeous, but you forgot to say fascinating. Now, some other guy beat you to it! Nice going, real smooth.

Lilia looked a little shocked at Roger's response. To be honest, I was a little shocked by Roger's response. But being the nice, sweet, courteous person she is, she said, "Oh, why, thank you Roger. That's very nice of you."

Trying to sound a little bit funny, I said, "I was just telling her the same thing right now!"

Roger and Lilia laughed.

Then Lilia did what I feared she'd do. "Well, come on in, Roger."

"Oh, thanks, guys. It's really nice of you to invite in."

INVITE YOU?! You're getting in the way, that's what you are! I forced a smile. "Anytime Roger. You know I give anything for my friends." I do hope you noticed the sarcasm involved in that last statement.

Lilia said to me, "Could you show Roger to the table while I bring out an extra plate?"

I nodded but remained silent. I glared at Roger, trying to make sure he got the hint: You're not welcome right now and if you don't leave my girlfriend and I to our well-planned romantic dinner, then I'm going to bust your ribs!

Unfortunately, the fool said, "Say, Spiny, you look a little pale. Are you sick or something?"

"No, I am not sick. I'm perfectly healthy."

"Sure? The back of your neck is getting red."

I rolled my eyeballs and sighed. I grabbed another chair and placed it at the table. "Here, why don't you sit down?"

"Oh, thank you." He sat down and placed the napkin in his collar. This is where I would do a face palm. Everyone knows that the napkin goes in the lap! Well, I wasn't his mother so I wasn't about to read him a book by Emily Post.

Originally, the table had arranged so that Lilia was at one end and I was at the other. But with Roger in the middle…well, let's just say that we'd found a new way to play Monkey in the Middle.

Roger was playing with the silverware when Lilia came in with the fajitas. "Here we go! Dinner's ready!" She gave served each us the number of fajitas we wanted and the set the guacamole, the rice, and the beans in different little bowls for us to grab. Then she served herself and sat down at the other end of the table.

"Well, let's dig in," Lilia said.

I grabbed some rice and beans with the spoon and placed them beside the fajitas before I crunched one of them in my mouth. Mmm! It was so juicy and flavorey! And the meat and the chicken was seasoned just right.

"Hey, Lilia, this tastes great. Thanks!" I said.

She smiled. "I'm glad you like it! I wanted to try so hard to make it perfect so that you would enjoy it. I love making you happy."

It would've been a perfect moment…if Rogie Bogie hadn't butted in and said, "Wow, Lilia you're an amazing cook! I never knew you could prepare such a great meal!" Which he said with too much enthusiasm, I might add.

Well, the rest of the evening went on like that. I would try to start up a nice conversation with Lilia or say a nice complement, and then Mr. Goody-Two-Shoes came up with a better comment or conversation subject.

Afterwards, once we were all finished, Roger said, "Well, I appreciate you guys having me over for dinner. It's getting late, so I have to be going now."

Finally! "Well, we enjoyed having you, Roger," I said in the most honest tone of voice I could possibly speak in.

"Well, thanks again. We should do this more often," he suggested. Yeah, and you'll be playing a harp a lot sooner if you do it again.

We said our goodbyes and he grabbed his jacket and left.

Lilia and I started to pick up the dirty dishes and place them in the sink. When she was clearing the tablecloth, she said, "I really had a fun time tonight."

"Yeah, so did I. Just the four of us," I replied.

Lilia looked up at me, confused. "The four of us? Spiny, it was only you and me and Roger."

"Yeah, but I really enjoyed the four of us. Just you…and me…and Roger…and his BIG mouth!"

Lilia placed her hands on her hips. "Spiny, are you angry because Roger came in and had dinner with us?"

I scoffed. "Oh, no! Of course not! Just because he happened to come here this very night when my girlfriend gets into her best dress, curls her hair, wears her sweetest perfume, makes a wonderful dinner for two in a romantic environment with candles and all and then starts to throw compliments at every possibility and doesn't let a guy express his deepest emotions or even get a word in edgewise!" I'd started with a sarcastic tone but ended with an angry one.

I flailed my hands in the air and leaned against the wall. She was just staring at me, standing in the same place. She had her arms crossed. I could slowly see her lips twitching and form the shape of a smile. She walked up to me and laughed and hugged me.

I didn't see the funny part so I said, "Why are you laughing at this?"

She was still smiling. "Well, it's the first time in our relationship that you've shown a healthy sign of jealousy. It's better than flowers or candy." She pecked me on the lips, trying to reassure me.

I sighed. "Well…you have to understand this. I mean, it's not that I don't like Roger. He's a really great friend and a cool guy. But this was supposed to be a date. For us. Just the two of us. It was supposed to be our evening."

She nodded. "I understand. But I was just trying to be friendly."

"I know, I know. Oh, well. I guess we should be happy with what we've got, right?"

"Right. Well, seeing as how we spent our dinner as a foursome, why don't we got sit on the couch, dim the lights, turn on some nice music and spend the rest of the evening as a twosome?"

I looked at her and grinned. "Now that is a marvelous idea!"

After doing all those things Lilia just said, we were sitting on the couch, in each other's arms, silent and staring into the nothing. Soon I was getting drowsy and felt my eyelids grow heavy. I was about to doze off when her voice jolted me.

"Say, why did Roger come by anyway?"

"Hmm? Didn't you hear what he said? He'd called up 19 different girls to try to make a date with one but they all refused him."

"Oh, that's right."

As the silence took over again, I started processing some information in my mind. If Roger hadn't been refused by any of those girls he wouldn't have been lonely. And if he hadn't been lonely, he wouldn't have come down here. And he wouldn't have barged in and ruined our dinner date. As a matter of fact, if DARLA hadn't overreacted to what happened today and gotten angry at him, he wouldn't have needed to call 19 girls and be rejected by them!

Then I had a horrible thought. If Darla and Roger continue this way…then that means that every time that Lilia and I try to get together in an intimate way, then one of them is going to keep on coming and….

I sat up and looked at Lilia. She stared back. She must've been thinking the same because we both said, "We need to get them back together!"

"And quick!" she stated.

"Though it goes against my way of being and my opinion of the subject, I appoint myself Official Chief Matchmaker and appoint Lilia Woods Official Assistant Chief Matchmaker."

She giggled. "Okay, chief! So what's our first order of business?"

"To convince Darla that Roger's not a clumsy ox and convince Roger that Darla's not going to punch him in the face."