SPINY'S POV

"These blueberry waffles are the best breakfast I've ever had!" Roger exclaimed.

"I'm glad you like them. Spiny's mom made-up the original recipe. Then when Mom married Spiny's dad, she'd make them a lot. Especially with bacon," Kathy responded.

"They also make that same recipe with pecan, bananas, blackberries, strawberries, and chocolate chips," Larry added, his mouth half-full with waffle and bacon. He swallowed and let out a huge BURP!

"Larry!" Patty shouted.

"What? That means I like the food!"

"We're not in China, Larry," Robert stated.

"Yeah, but if I ever go there, I want to learn staring now."

"Don't bother. China and Amarkia have been bitter enemies since it became Communist and more so since the Pelapsame Wars."

"Guys, not at the breakfast table with minors present," Kathy said.

"We're all minors," said Robert.

"Just change the subject, please," she pleaded.

"So, what do you feel like doing today, Roger?" I said.

He finished chewing his waffle and said, "Uh, I don't know. What do you guys usually do?"

"Well, I don't know about, but usually during summer vacation, Spiny goes over to Lilia's and they do nothing but cuddle and smooch," said Larry.

"LARRY!"

"You going to smooch with Lilia, Spiny?" Greeny asked.

I rolled my eyes and the air hissed out of my lungs. "No, Greeny, I'm not." I looked back at Roger. "What do you say we go out on our bikes? You know, before it gets really hot."

"Sounds good."

"And maybe after we can go out to lunch then do some bowling."

"That's it?" said Larry.

I stared at him, dumbfounded. "What do you mean is that it? What more do you want me to say?"

"Well, how about going to the museum, sneaking into the girl's locker at the country club, exploring the sewers, you know fun things like that."

Sometimes with Larry I just look and wonder. Other times…I just look. And sometimes…it's best not say anything. He might be reading my mind now and give me a good thrashing.

Ignoring his remark, I said, "How does that sound? Just two bachelor's on the town! Well, one. I'm already taken."

"Yeah, that makes it a lot less fun," said Robert.

"Now, Robert that's not nice. Do you know what they say the love of a good woman does?" Patty asked him.

"Yeah, it keeps you from bowling on Thursday night," Larry responded.

"Thanks for the advice, Larry. I'll be sure to not fall for any girls," Robert said. Like he really meant it.

Some breakfast. It looked as if we were discussing religion and politics. Well, anyways, we got dressed and went out in the front to get the bicycles. While we were getting them out on the front, Roger said, "You wouldn't happen to know if the library is open?"

"Mmm. I don't know. Why? You wanted to check something out?"

"Well, not anything in particular. Just something…about something."

"Wow! Really! I've never heard of that. Is it a good book…or whatever it is?"

He placed the helmet…well, on his head obviously. Where else would he put it? Anyways, he said, "Well, I need some…points on something."

"On what?" I asked, putting on my bicycle gloves.

"Eh, it kinda embarrasses me."

"It's not anything inappropriate, is it?"

"Of course not! It's just something…personal."

I finished adjusting the helmet I was wearing and tested the brakes on my bike. "You're not going to tell me? In case you haven't noticed, Larry isn't here."

"Well…" he looked all around us then lowered his voice to a whisper. "I want some pointers on how to get a girl."

"A girl?"

"Yeah, you know the opposite of boys?"

"Roger, I know what a girl is. I happen to live with two and the one across the street is my girlfriend."

"Well, you know what I mean!"

"Ah, I see. And do you think that you'll get your answers from written text?"

"Why not?"

Heh heh. Keep playing like this and you'll fall right into my…uh, no, not a trap. It's not a trap. Of course not. Where'd I ever get that silly idea? Just a plan. For everyone's benefit: to ensure that Roger has a girl, that Darla loses interest in me, and ensure that Lilia and I will be able to enjoy our dates.

"Well, I don't know," I said casually, looking away. "I just feel that in delicate matters like these, written text isn't the best way to learn."

"You think so?"

"Well, as well as the guide may be, it's too…impersonal. Inflexible."

He stared at the ground, thinking. "Yeah, I guess you're right. But where am I going to find a real-life expert on girls?"

I shrugged and got on my bike. "Guess you'll just have to do a little bit of work." I started riding down the driveway. I was about a quarter of mile up the road when Roger shouted from behind and I stopped to let him catch up.

"What is it, Roger?"

"Uh, listen, I don't want to sound forward but…um, would you give me a few pointers?"

"What?"

"Well…" he sighed and looked down. "You think you could help me win a girl over?"

I pretended to think about it. I didn't want him to think or to start suspecting that this had been my plan since the start. But I didn't want to stay "thinking" too long, because he might think I wasn't capable for the job.

Finally I said, "You really serious about this?"

"Of course I am."

"All right then." I got back on my bike. "First thing's first: who is the lucky lady?" I started down the street with Roger following close behind. "I can't tell you!" he shouted.

I made a slight veer that ran through a forested, dirt road. "Why not?"

"I just can't tell you who it is?"

I stopped by some young trees that had been planted a few years ago. I remember which ones they were because that same area of forest had been cut down to make some wood for the winter. It's law in Amarkia that three new trees have to be planted for every one that gets cut down.

Anyways, after Roger had caught up I said, "Why can't you tell me who the girl is? Don't you trust me? At least tell me if I know her."

He let out a deep sigh and looked away, almost in shame. "I…I can't. She's…she's in love with another guy."

Whoa. That was getting from the pool out into the deep, open ocean. With plenty of sharks and piranhas. Well anyways, I had to find some way of encouraging him. I certainly wasn't going to go up to Darla and say, "Hey, guess what? Roger is in love with you so please leave me and run to his arms."

I didn't get back on the bike because what I would say next would require personal conversation. "Say, how you doing in your Mechanics Class back in school?"

"How am I doing?"

"Oh, right! Its summer vacation, I forgot. Well, how were doing by the end of the year? I mean, your final grade and everything."

"Eh, pretty good, I guess. I was in the top 2% of my class."

"Hey, that's great!" I said, giving him a friendly punch on the shoulder. "Guess all those girls are going to love you with grease and everything, huh?"

He laughed. "Guess so."

Aha! I got it! "You really love doing stuff with engines, don't you?"

He nodded and pulled out a sandwich from the bad that the girls had packed for us. Isn't that sweet of them? They didn't want us to have to bother with a restaurant. Anyways, he said, "I sure do. Like music is your thing, engines are mine."

"Well, I guess if you know what you're doing with an engine you can get pretty well along with it."

"Huh?" he said, his mouth full.

"Well, you know. If you know where you stand with an engine, you can have a pretty good relationship with the engine."

You should've seen his reaction to that. He literally spit the entire sandwich out and said, "HUH?!" He had the most confused look I have ever seen in my more than 11,200 years of life. (That's 14 years for an Amarkian.)

"Ahem. Well, what I meant was that uh…you know, Roger. An engine…is kind of like a girl's heart."

He stared at me for a long while. "It is?"

"Yeah. It runs on a combination of…well, care and good attention. You know what I mean?"

"Yeah, I guess so," he said, taking a sip of water.

We walked off the dirt path and sat next to some trees. "Take carburetor. That's like…a girl's emotional healthy. You have to keep that running in order to keep everything else running smoothly. Girls like to be treated and protected, not used or manipulated."

He looked away for a while then he said, "Spiny, can I ask you something now?"

"Sure. My life's an open book. Except to gossip news reporters. Then I burn the book."

"Well…why are you suddenly interested in getting me a girlfriend?"

I started panicking inside. If he ever suspected… I simply stated, "Well, didn't you just ask me a while ago to help you?"

"Yeah, I know that, but…since last night…you've sort of been hinting."

I gulped and tried my best to make sure my voice didn't break. "You, uh, you suspected something from the start?"

He grinned and raised his left eyebrow. "Well, let's just say that you could use some lessons in being sneaky. Now, why are you suddenly interested in helping me with this?"

"Well, frankly, Lilia came up with the idea of helping you."

That was weird. What happened next. The minute I said Lilia's name, he sprayed water and started coughing. I rushed over to him and patted him hard on the back. "You all right, bro?"

He raised his hand and wheezed. "Yeah…I'm fine." He wiped the water off his mouth with his sleeve. "Lilia came up with everything?"

"Well, she sort of insisted that I leave my hatred for matchmaking aside and help you get a girl. Well, now that I know you do like a girl, I can help you more."

"Yeah, but Spiny, I don't think I can tell you who she is."

I shrugged. "Doesn't matter. I don't need to know her. I'll just give you a few pointers."

He gazed into the distance with a thoughtful…well, gaze. He suddenly got up and shouted, "Spiny, that's crazy!"

What is it with this guy? He asked me for my help nearly an hour ago and now he's saying no?! "Well, Roger! I think…I think it's your responsibility to express your feelings. Love is something that you shouldn't keep locked in. You have to know people you love how you feel about them."

He turned back to me. "You think so?"

"Sure. I mean, look at this way. An untold love, a love that hasn't been confessed is like a symphony orchestra playing in the middle of the desert. It's beautiful but…who's going to hear it?"

He bit his lip and rolled his eyes around, lost in deep thinking. "And…what do you suggest I do? Like, what do you do with Lilia?"

I stood up and paced to set my mind running. That helps me for some reason. Pacing. "Hmm. Well, I send her a different kind of flower every week. I sing to her. I write her songs, dedications, poems." I smiled to myself. "She especially loves poems."

"She does?"

"Ha! She is gaga over poems. So, do things like that."

He was thinking again. "I'm not sure I'm the poetic type."

"Well, how about writing her a letter? Look, Keiths did it. Why not Louski?"

"That's Loski."

"Yeah, Loski."

"You sure I should do this?" he asked.

"I'm positive. You'll feel a lot better and the girl too."

His expression suddenly changed from nervous and hesitant to determined. "All right. I will!"

I clapped him on the shoulder. "Thadda boy! That's the way to speak!"

"Just remember one thing, Spiny. It was your idea!"

He got back on the bike and started the way back to town. My idea? What did he mean? Was that a threat?