Chapter 9

After Alex came back into the kitchen to help Gail with the dinner I stayed in my room. I was frustrated at my lack self control. I knew that I was subconsciously I was counting 248 days, but I couldn't even get past a week without being forward with Alex, not that she was making it easy with her talk of wanting more.

I lay across my bed giving the situation some deep thought. How could I make this right and not hurt Alex? I knew that now that we'd kissed she'd be expecting something from me. Matter of fact as soon as I stepped back into her line of view she'd begin reading me. I couldn't be with her, but I couldn't stay away from her. I was tempted to skip dinner altogether. I wanted to avoid everything ever since that stupid mistake with Ana I'd sworn off looking for a serious relationship. I had "friendships" with a woman that lasted a month or two but that was it. I didn't want anything serious because I didn't feel like being disappointed or disappointing anyone. The one thing I'd realized I did well was work. I put all of my feelings and emotions into it and my work sold. Maybe that's what my problem was now I was forgetting what I was good at. I hopped up and grabbed my laptop and checked my mail. I had a couple of email from Glo, like promised she'd sent me some pictures of the new studio we were building. She also shared her antennary with me and shared some questions that the construction crew had asked.

After answering her questions I'd begun feeling like the old me. I was feeling more confident I could shake whatever spell the little woman had put me under. So what she was beautiful I'd been around models before they didn't make me melt and the sight of them most definitely didn't make me want to bed them right away. They were a piece of artwork to be taken in and that's how I'd think of Alex from now on. She was a piece of untouchable artwork.

Glo's next e-mail had the attachment of the few students that wanted to intern with me during the fall semester. She sent me their resume's and said if any of them interest me she'd send digital images of their portfolios. I clicked on the first one Marcus Reed I breezed through it everything seemed generic safe. I really think Glo should have just sent the digital portfolio for everyone. I couldn't make a prediction on these. Nevertheless I opened another this resume belonged to Jazz Moore I began to scroll down when I heard a faint knock on my door. Alex's crept in and smiled at me. I was determined not to be elated to see her.

"Hey, Mrs. Taylor told me to grab you for dinner. She plopped on the bed beside me which made me tense up. What's this?" She asked.

"Work," I was blunt and mean. That's not how I wanted to behave with her. "They are resumes. I'm going to be taking on two interns this fall." She nodded and looked closer.

"Jose', you're an artist," she snickered.

"Yeah, your point."

"I'm assuming they are too right. Shouldn't they have portfolio's why should there resume's matter?" She pulled my laptop away from me and began looking at the student Jazz's accomplishments. "Well, at least it has reference letters and her layout gives some insight to creativity. I guess that's helpful." As Ally looked on she pushed her hair behind her ear, allowing me to see more of her golden honey colored skin, her neck, her shoulder, she was such an alluring piece of art. She glanced at me and snickered.

"Jose, sometimes you act as if you have never seen a girl before." She shifted towards me and handed my laptop back to me. "Before we go down for dinner I wanted to talk to you."

"Okay," I croaked out my mouth had gone dry.

"I was talking to Mrs. Taylor and I wanted you to know that I get what's going on. I get that you liking me is unnerving because of my age. I get that if we had sex you could go to jail, but who said I wanted to have sex with you? I just saying it took a lot for me acknowledge what I'm feeling. I have a lot of things going on right now. I don't think losing my virginity would make dealing with everything else easier."

"Hold on wait, you're not a virgin! You are way too hot to be a virgin!" I knew my eyes were budging out of my head.

"I don't if that's meant as a compliment or an insult, but yeah I'm a virgin. I'm the daughter of a very strict single father. I didn't go out much." She shrugged. "Up until a few hours ago I hadn't even been kissed."

"Wha – You mean I …" We sat in silence for a minute. She sat watching me as I processed everything she had told me. "That explains why your kisses sucked!" I teased and her eyes widened.

"Well you seemed to be satisfied at the time Mr. Rodriguez!" She shoved my arm. She was right after her initial shock she caught on just fine and her mouth was so sweet and delicious. Man, had I strayed from the work of art frame of mind.

"So why are you telling me all of this Alex?"

"Because I was raised believing honesty is the best policy … and I wanted you to know that I knew why you were really conflicted. I'm conflicted too, I mean I by no means wanted to be attracted to an old man, but hey life happens!" She giggled and frowned at her.

"I'm twenty four; I'm in the prime of my life Al! I'm not old, but I guess I would seem old to a baby like you! Ha-ha see, I can make age jokes too, you're not clever Miss Fuentes." We both laughed and she grabbed my hand.

"Jose', I'm seventeen; I'm not seven." She ran her other hand along the side of my face. "I like you and you like me, in a few months I'll be legal, so I don't see what the big deal is. We can date we just can't fuck." She shrugged. "I'm fine with that because the thought of it is intriguing, but scary at the same time." I was still alarmed that she'd said fuck. She hadn't cussed the whole time we'd been here.

"Fucking me seems scary?" I laughed. "Can I ask why?" Her hand went to her mouth and she began to go to work on her thumbnail.

"I don't know. Well, I guess it's a number of reasons, I've never been naked in front of a man, and I like you and I want you to like what you see. I wouldn't know what I was doing; I wouldn't know how to move or where to touch you. I'm afraid I'd be all thumbs." She lowered her eyes so I couldn't see the worry or discomfort in them.

"Some people with tons of experience have those same concerns no need to be embarrassed. As for the way you look … I love the way you body looks in clothes, I'm sure I'd …" I wasn't sure I should be saying these things to her. "I will think you're beautiful regardless what you're wearing." She offered a small smile.

"Thanks" she kissed my cheek.

"I was thinking you were going to be worried about it hurting," I confessed and she gave me a lopsided smile.

"I don't think it will. I popped my cherry when I was really young think I was like eleven. I hymen broke due to all the splits I did in dance. I freaked out when it happened and my dance teacher took it upon herself to tell me about sex, periods, and all the girl stuff. Plus …" She look nervous about what she was about to say.

"What?" I was curious I had to know what she was going to say.

"I … um, I have a very healthy appetite sexually. When I was fourteen I started doing the 'towel trick'." She was murmuring.

"Towel trick?" She nodded.

"You roll the towel up and kind of grind on it to relief some frustration. Then I graduated to my fingers, and I have a toy." Oh my God! I didn't know someone could be a virgin and a freak at the same time! She was now holding her head in her hands she was probably regretting telling me. I was in a state of shock, I needed more information.

"How'd you get a toy?" I asked my voice a little louder than I meant for it to be.

"It's actually an object I made into a toy," she confessed. "Look, can we talk about something else or go to dinner or something?" She whined.

"No. You brought all this up, you must deal with my interrogation as a consequence," I teased. "So what is it?"

"Oh no, I'm not telling you that!" She shook her head adamantly.

"Come on, please tell me," I begged playfully.

"So Josie, do you think that we'll be able to date." She became serious. That was a very quick and much needed change of subject. "I think that we should be fine to hang out, go places together, and make out. We just can't have sex yet and that should be a big deal considering the fact that we are just getting to know each other. You'll just have to keep it in your pants!"

"Same to you Miss Sneaky Freak!" I laughed and she glared her eyes at me.

"I shouldn't have told you anything!" She punched me. "So you're decision?" I took a deep breath I would have to think about this, but the odds seem to be in her favor. We could do this and I wouldn't have to walk on egg shells around her.

"Give me until after dinner to think about it?"

"Deal?" I extended my hand for her to take. She looked at me kind of disappointed. I think she thought I was saying no.

"Deal" She took my hand and I pulled her closer and place a small kiss on her lips. It was hard to be satisfied with just that.

"Let's go eat!" I said as I forced myself to pull away from her. I pulled her off the bed and we made our way downstairs.

Author's Note: I'm sorry I'm a slow reviewer. I decided to try to sneak some sex into the story earlier than I anticipated considering this is a fifty shades story it has to be erotic. Okay more stuff on the way! Please read and review … no flames!