Chapter 6: Intentions

"Werewolves are savage and soulless…"

"The best thing to do for those infected is to euthanize them; for their safety and the safety of our society…"

"The beast within a werewolf cannot be tamed, and will eventually take over. It's best to simply…"

Theo slammed that book shut too. This was ridiculous. There had to be something that wasn't just the ramblings of scared and ignorant people. Most of these books weren't only about werewolves but "half breeds" in general, and all of it was trashy propaganda attempting to strike fear into the hearts of its readers. Theo had spent the day in the library, and she was now wondering if it would be more useful to just ask a bloody wolf. She'd get the same amount of useful information.

She sighed heavily and looked at the last book in her stack. There were only five, Madame Pince had said, that could help her with her research. Theo said she was attempting extra credit, but the librarian didn't seem to care one way or the other and left Theo to her own devices. Theo considered not even bothering with the last one, figuring that if the other four were so atrocious, then this one must be too. She looked at her watch and decided it was worth a shot, since she wouldn't be doing anything else today. She skimmed until she found what she was looking for and with a heavy sigh began reading.

"There are many misconceptions about werewolves in today's society."

I'll say.

"There are many accounts stating that werewolves are savage creatures, incapable of the most basic of human emotions."

Have any of you ever even met a werewolf?

"Some even believe that the best way to deal with werewolves is to kill them instantly to prevent any accidents."

Theo thought of Remus, screaming in agony on that bed in the abandoned house. Theo thought of how every month was a fight for survival. Theo thought of Remus being sentenced to death for something he never wanted. Theo felt like she might be sick again.

"This is ridiculous, of course, as werewolves are every bit human as you or I (should you identify as such). This prejudice against werewolves is borne of ignorance and it is my hope to educate people on the true plight of werewolves in society today."

Theo was smiling, though she hadn't noticed until she felt the muscles in her cheeks begin to ache. She kept reading, eager to find something to help Remus. She was sure that this author would be able to help her and with renewed energy she continued to read.

This energy faded the more she read. It spoke of the difficulties that werewolves face, including strict Ministry guidelines and the gruesome details of transformation. Theo decided she'd seen enough of that first had and skipped that bit. She read about the wolf itself, and how it maintained a constant presence.

"This is not to say that werewolves always feel the need to tear apart human flesh as it is wont to do on the full moon. It simply means that in the days surrounding the moon, a person with Lycanthropy will begin to show symptoms that are traditionally associated with being ill. It also means that said person may have a harder time controlling their emotions the closer they are to the full."

Theo tried to think of those days leading up to Remus's absences. She had noticed that he seemed sick, and after he seemed rather put out as well, but she had never seen him actually lose his temper during any of these times. She supposed that it was due to the fact that it was Remus, and continued reading.

"Due to the stigma surrounding werewolves, little has been done to ease their suffering. Some have tried and failed to search for cures, while others hope to ease the transformations. There are some methods for helping a transformed werewolf but no method can guarantee success."

That's all well and good but I need something here.

"One method that has been proven to work on multiple occasions is the company of other animals. Werewolves pose little threat to any creature other than humans, and as such can even enjoy the company of another living creature. This is not always effective for a number of reasons. Few animals are comfortable in the presence of a transformed werewolf and can react violently, often ending in harm or even death to the animal companion or werewolf.

"Another potential issue is that if a werewolf grows accustomed to their companion and the companion is not present during a transformation (for reasons such as illness or death) the werewolf will react more violently than normal. The werewolves that have undergone the loss of a companion have said they remember a distinct feeling of hurt and confusion while transformed. It is theorized that the werewolf considers these companions as members of their pack or on occasion even their own offspring, and the loss drives the werewolf mad with grief."

Theo took a second, feeling things click to place in her head. Remus Lupin was a werewolf. Remus Lupin tears himself apart and gets put back together every month. Remus Lupin is alone during this time, meaning either that companionship has been attempted and failed, or that companionship was not considered at all. Theo wondered for a second Remus had told anyone.

"We need that bloody book if we're going to help Moony!"

Realization hit Theo like a ton of bricks. No wonder they never told her what it was for. It also explained why they hadn't gone to a teacher for help. If anyone knew why they were doing it they would be shut down immediately. Theo bit her lip, wondering for a second if maybe she could do something about this. She was learning to be an Animagus after all… She remembered that James had written back to her (much to her surprise) and she still hadn't opened the letter. Maybe she could help them, if they wanted it. Setting her jaw, she closed her books with a loud smack and rushed back up to her room.

She grabbed the letter and opened it quickly, skimming the contents. She let out a giggle here and there at his ridiculousness and found that she was smiling throughout.

Your friend,

James Potter

Theo couldn't help but feel that was a little presumptuous. Friends? Their interactions consisted mostly of him hexing her, and three letters. She wondered if maybe this was a trick and the rug was going to be pulled out from under her and it actually seemed likely for a second. But then she thought about what she'd seen of James Potter. He wasn't intentionally cruel, just thoughtless and far too smart for his own good. If he didn't like her he wouldn't pretend to. With a heavy sigh she wrote her response, hoping she didn't sound as unnerved as she was by those two words that probably meant nothing to him at all.

That was the thing with people like James. The things they say mean nothing to them, flowing freely out of their mouths with no regard for the consequences. To him she was just another person. To her, he was the embodiment of everything she wasn't: attractive, confident, funny, kind, adventurous and rich. Of course he wouldn't care what he said to her in the end. He wouldn't think anything of throwing the word friend around because if she ever went away there was someone else somewhere waiting eagerly to take her place. If she went away there were plenty of other awkward teenage girls to bide their time with, but if James went away it would mean much more to many more people.

She finished, casually mentioning the Animagus thing like it was an afterthought, hoping he would think that she was just trying to get in on the mischief. She knew Black wouldn't buy it but hoped that James might. She didn't care if they were her friends or not. She just wanted to help Remus. Remus was too good to suffer that alone and if Theo could help then she wouldn't hesitate. She knew what suffering alone felt like and she wouldn't wish that on anyone.

When it came time to sign off the letter she found herself hesitating. What should she say? Would he be offended if she simply put "sincerely" or would he even care? Was that something people like James Potter cared about? What would it mean to her if she put "your friend" as carelessly as he had? Could she allow herself to be so casual about this? She could put it and hope that she wouldn't get too carried away before she knew for sure, but she didn't trust herself. She didn't trust herself not to lose track and get lost in their world and fall too deep.

She knew that writing down two simple words should not cause pause quite like this, but writing it made it real. Writing it made it almost like a promise. It gave physical form to an abstract thought that she could otherwise deny the existence of. Was this all really worth it? The site of Remus throwing himself at the door of the shack flashed behind her eyes and she decided in that moment that it was. This wasn't for herself anymore. She could muscle through this part, the part that involved getting close to people, if it meant they could help him. With a set jaw she confidently wrote those two dreaded words and sent the owl off.

(^^)

When Theo's friend returned they seemed run down and on edge. Even Anna, who had been excited to go to France to visit her grandparents over the holidays, looked to be in a foul mood and could barely muster a smile when she saw Theo. Claire and Isabel seemed to be having a staring contest, not even bothering to eat their dinner in favor of keeping their eyes locked on one another. Finally, Isabel spoke.

"Je me suis excusé, n'a pas j'ai ?"

"Vous souciez-vous même à son sujet ? Vous êtes la raison pour laquelle que nous sommes même des amis avec elle."

"Vous voulez vous pas être ? Personne n'oblige à vous."

"Je l'aime. Je ne suis pas sûr que vous le faites, malgré toutes ces belles paroles que vous crachez."

"Vous ne pouvez pas aimer quelqu'un que vous connais depuis seulement trois mois."

"Ne soyez pas si sûr."

"Qu'est-ce avec toi, Claire ? Vous êtes jaloux qu'elle m'aime mieux ?"

"Elle fait seulement parce qu'elle a envie de vous et vous êtes juste mène."

"Qui a dit que je ne lui envie?"

There was silence now. Anna and Claire were staring at Isabel then looking to Theo before looking back at Isabel.

"Bullshit!" Claire said, stabbing an unsuspecting carrot with her fork. Theo jumped slightly in her seat, shooting looks at each of her friends and hoping that someone would kindly explain what was happening. No one seemed to notice her frantic looks.

"Don't cause a scene Claire. Anyway, how was break Theo? Did you miss us?" Isabel seemed to be batting her eyelashes more than usual, which caused Theo to blink in surprise. She hadn't understood a word of their conversation but knew that Isabel was blatantly dismissing Claire. Claire and Anna seemed to be carrying on a whispered conversation in French, much to Theo's agitation.

"I hate it when you do that, you know." Isabel looked shocked.

"Hate when we do what?"

"Speak French so I don't understand. I don't have to know everything but if you want to have a conversation without me knowing, just do so privately." Isabel's wide eyes searched Theo's face unblinkingly. Theo thought for a second that she said something wrong but then Isabel smiled and it was alright again.

"You're right, love. That was rude of us. We won't do it anymore, right guys?" She sent a pointed look at the other two. Anna nodded immediately, though Claire was glaring at Isabel again. Isabel raised an eyebrow in challenge.

"Of course we won't Theo. I'm sorry if we've upset you." Claire wasn't looking at Theo when she said it, but Theo thanked her anyway and they continued to eat amidst tense conversation. When dinner was over Theo made to follow her friends but Claire stopped her.

"Hey Theo, I need to talk to Isabel about some things in private. Is it ok if we don't hang out tonight? We'll be all yours tomorrow I promise." Theo wanted to say no but agreed anyway. She asked Anna if she wanted to go back to Gryffindor Tower with her but Anna politely declined with some poor excuse when Theo knew she just didn't want to go near the Gryffindors. Theo didn't either but she'd have to face people eventually. With a heavy sigh she walked off in the opposite direction of her friends.

When she crawled through the portrait hole she didn't expect much. Usually cutting through the common room was a simple affair of not making eye contact with anyone and rushing to her room in the least conspicuous way possible to avoid any unwelcome comments. She did not expect a boy at least ten inches taller than her to come barreling towards her and wrap her in a big bear hug.

Having been caught by surprise Theo reacted in a way she wasn't proud of. She would have preferred going stock still, or maybe just voicing her unease, but instinct kicked in before common sense and Theo pushed away with all her strength. All her strength had little effect on the boy with the messy black hair but caused her to push herself away from him and into the table behind her. With a yelp she stumbled and fell to the floor just under the table pressed to the wall.

Theo closed her eyes and rubbed her head where it had hit the table on the way down. When the pain subsided she noticed that the common room had gone quiet. Opening her eyes revealed that the entirety of the Gryffindor common room was giving her strange looks. Some turned back to what they were doing after seeing she was ok, but Dylan Davis was not so easily please.

"What the matter Clarke, scared of a little hug?" Dylan had an unnerving laugh. It had a way of digging straight into the part of her heart that would hurt the most when irritated, and Theo wished she could just disappear. This wasn't supposed to happen. She'd hoped she'd at least get one night free. How did he always seem to have the energy to hate her?

"Back off Davis," James hissed as he stood to his full height from crouching over Theo. "I just surprised her."

"Yea I bet. I'd imagine not a lot of people would want to hug her f—"

Theo had no idea what he was going to say next, as Sirius Black was now in front of him with a wand pointed at Dylan's chest. Dylan looked rather pale for such a dark skinned boy.

"Leave her alone," he hissed. Davis stared hard at Black, though he was obviously nervous.

"Since when do you stick up for her? She's—"

Sirius was whispering something Theo didn't hear, but it seemed to upset Davis a great deal. He backed away from Black as if he had burned him and disappeared into the boys' dorm. James was already in front of Theo again.

"I'm so sorry, Theo!" He reached forward a couple times though seemed to think better of it and pulled back. "I didn't mean to scare you."

"It's… fine." She stood up from the floor and straightened her robes. James was looking her over as if to make sure she was ok. When he seemed convinced that she was he was smiling again.

"I told you we've got your back! I wonder what Sirius said to him. He looked real put out…" James was looking towards the boys' dorms as if he could see through the wall.

"No idea," Theo mumbled as she looked herself over just to make sure there was no longer any evidence of her fall before finally looking at James. "What was with the hug?"

"What do you mean?"

"The hug. Why did you hug me?" James started laughing and Theo felt the blush rise on her cheeks. Remus walked over with Peter and gave James a questioning glance before smiling at Theo. Theo wanted to smile back, but she found she was having issues. She was suddenly very aware of the little white scars on his cheeks and neck, as well as one on his arm that was still pink. All she could see was the wolf tearing into its own leg viciously and she thought she might be sick. She'd only been in this country for 4 ½ months and she'd already puked twice. She hoped she could keep it that way for at least the next month. Remus pulled his sleeve down quickly and hid his arm behind his back.

"Theo?" Her eyes snapped back up to James, whose shoulders were still shaking slightly. "What do you mean why did I hug you? I was happy to see you!"

"Oh, ok. I'm happy to see you too James." James beamed down at her. He went to hug her again but Theo stepped back out of instinct. She mentally kicked herself for not just letting it happen but it was too late now, he already looked hurt. He went to say something but then Sirius was by his side and draping an arm over his shoulder.

"Don't scare our new friend away so quickly James." He smiled at Theo and she gave a faint one back. "Where are your friends?"

"They uh, they had some stuff they wanted to do tonight. I'll probably see them tomorrow."

"You should hang out with us tomorrow! We have this really cool thing planned for—" Sirius elbowed James in the side rather brutally, causing him to grunt. He glared at Sirius and Remus just laughed.

"They'll be up to no good. I'll be working in the library," Remus said.

"Already? We don't have another exam for a while, do we?" Theo tried to run through all her classes and the assignments but was coming up blank as to what Remus could possibly be doing.

"No I just…" Remus seemed to look to his friends for aid but they seemed unwilling to give him any. He looked back to Theo and shot her a weak smile. "I wanted to get ahead." Theo raised an eye brow, but otherwise said nothing.

"I see. Well I hope it goes well. I can't really hang out tomorrow. I have—" Theo had been prepared to lie her ass off but an unlikely hero came to her rescue.

"Sirius!" Theo actually snorted as she watched him cringe at the sound of Marlene's overly harsh voice. His arm fell off of James shoulders and his whole body began to sag as he turned to face his… whatever she was. All the boys turned to see the witch barreling towards them. Theo thought she might take this time to run up to the girls dorm but when Marlene began talking Theo found she couldn't look away, like when one drives past a car crash.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Sirius raised a brow.

"Talking with my friends," he said without a trace of annoyance but instead pure disinterest.

"Not that! What is the meaning of this note?" She pulled a piece of parchment out of her robes and shoved it into Sirius's face. Sirius looked it over and Theo wondered what it could possibly say to have Marlene so worked up.

"I think it's pretty self-explanatory, Marlene." Sirius handed the note back to her. She was red in the face now, both from anger and what looked like indignation.

"You can't do this to me!" She spluttered. Suddenly Theo understood and felt incredibly unwelcome. "What's this about? Is it about her?" Marlene thrust a bony finger in Theo's direction and Theo honestly hated her luck tonight. Marlene looked ready to pounce and Theo, while quite sure she could take her, did not want to fight tonight. She just wanted a nice warm bed and maybe something warm to drink.

"Yes," Sirius said it like it was nothing. To Sirius, it probably was nothing, but Theo was sure she was going to die. What the hell was he thinking, just throwing her under the bus like that? Did he forget that they share a room?

Fuck, she already hates me… I can never go back to my room again…

"Since when do you care about her," Marlene hissed, crossing her arms across her chest. "You said yourself she was an ugly bint."

Theo felt the world fall out beneath her feet as everything began to spin. Why was this happening to her? Why was she here, why couldn't she be alone in her bed or with Isabel on hers just talking about something stupid like whether or not they thought it was going to snow? Why did she have to be here with them? She didn't want any of this.

"Marlene back off," Sirius hissed. Theo didn't want to hear anymore. She made a beeline for the portrait hole and climbed out despite the people calling her name behind her. She didn't care, it wasn't worth it. She didn't care what they said or what they wanted, she didn't care about any of it. All she cared about was getting away, far away from where she was the center of attention. She needed to be away from the fighting and the blaming and the hurting. She just needed to get out.

Theo didn't go very far, just far enough so that she couldn't hear the dull hum of the people inside the common room. She crouched behind a statue and sat down. She pulled her knees up to her chest. She rocked back and forth, trying to relax and clear her mind. She was hoping that if she meditated she would feel better, less vile, but she couldn't stop feeling. She was feeling so many things at once and it was overwhelming.

"Theodosia?" Someone called down the hall. She stopped rocking and remained quiet.

"Theodosia, it's me, Peter Pettigrew. I don't think we've really ever talked before…" He trailed off, seeming to lose confidence as he tended to do when things weren't going to plan. Theo felt bad for the boy, and let out an answering grunt.

"Theodosia? Where are you?" She heard Peter's feet pad across the floor in her general direction.

"Behind the statue," she mumbled just loud enough. Not a second later, Peter was sitting in front of her, looking uncomfortable. A few times he'd start to say something, then stop himself before any noise got out. Theo wanted to reassure him, but found she didn't have the will tonight. She just waited and waited until finally he seemed to work up the nerve to speak.

"When I was little I used to try and get my parents to stop fighting, but that only made it worse." Theo's jaw dropped. What the hell was he doing? They weren't friends, they'd never spoken why was he telling her this?

"They used to get really into it, you know. They calmed down once I got older. I think they just got too tired. But I remember when they'd fight they'd always drag me into it if I was too close, so I got used to running away when things got too heated."

Peter wasn't looking at her. He was looking at the palms of his hands like the held the secret to the universe, so he didn't see Theo's expression. If he had looked he would see a strange mixture of pain and understanding and shock. He kept talking.

"That's what you do too, isn't it? You don't like the fighting either." Theo nodded, even though he still wasn't looking at her. "You never fight anyone. You almost fought with Sirius before break, but that wasn't really a fight, you just kept asking questions really loudly."

They both let out a bit of a snort at that.

"Kids used to pick on me a bit during the first year. James stepped in before it got too bad, and always stood up for me because I was too weak to fight my own battles. I always just ran away. He's trying to do that for you, too." Peter finally looked up. Theo noted with astonishment how simply talking about James was enough to empower Peter. Theo smiled and nodded.

"I know he is," she whispered.

"But he doesn't realize that you don't need him to." He was still looking at her, searching for the eye contact she was trying to avoid. "He thinks you're like me, that you can't fight back. But you can, you just won't, because you don't like fighting."

"What makes you think that? How are you so sure of any of this, Peter? Maybe I'm just a great big coward. Maybe I just take it all lying down because I can't do anything else."

Peter seemed to think about this for a second. He looked like he knew the answer, but didn't know how to phrase it. "Because when someone tries to hurt you, you don't try to hide. You stick your chin up and pretend like it doesn't affect you. You hold your ground."

"Why does everyone seem to notice the chin thing? I never even knew I did it before I came here." Peter laughed quite a bit at that and Theo felt like there was a joke she wasn't getting. Peter saw her confusion and just laughed harder.

"I'm glad you find it funny, Peter."

"I'm sorry. I just wish I could show you what you look like when it happens." He laughed a little before continuing. "You do it like you want people to see it. You couldn't be more obvious if you stuck up you middle finger. Once you were writing when it happened and you were hunched over the desk and the moment someone started saying something you sat up straight and stuck up your chin while still trying to write. I could tell you couldn't see the paper very well but kept writing anyway."

Peter continued to laugh while Theo tried to remember this particular incident. She found she was coming up blank. How had she never noticed this about herself before? This thing that was apparently so obvious to other people was so completely lost on her. She wondered if maybe she only started when she got to Hogwarts.

"That's just weird," she finally said while standing up. She went to help Peter but he was already up. His laughing had subsided but the mirth had yet to leave his eyes.

"It's brilliant is what it is." They began walking back to the portrait. When they were right outside, Peter began speaking again. "James doesn't notice these things," he half whispered. "He just sees you're not fighting back and thinks it's the same as letting them win."

"I am though, aren't I?" She didn't really want to know the answer, but she waited with bated breath anyway. She cursed her body for betraying her like this and letting Peter see her weakness and her doubt.

"No, you're not. If you were, they would have stopped by now." With that they both crawled through the portrait hole and back into the common room. Theo saw the hulking figure of James coming for her again and braced herself for another hug. She had no idea putting the words "your friend" at the bottom of a note meant getting assaulted every time she came into contact with him.

Before James actually managed to get to her Sirius was in front of him, holding him back. Theo noted with no small amount of amusement that he looked like a basketball player trying to box out his opponent. She actually giggled a bit at the site.

"Hey Theodosia! Have a nice stroll? Sorry you had to see that," Sirius was speaking through huffs of laughter as James kept trying and failing to get around him. "I want to be perfectly honest with you when I say that I never once said that about you, but I will admit that I never defended you either and for that I am sorry."

James was being oddly persistent, and Theo wondered why Sirius was even keeping him from getting to her. She noted that Peter was also standing at the ready as if he was prepared to step in should Sirius fail. Remus was laughing at the scene from the couch in front of the fire and waved her over. She looked to see Sirius and James were now facing one another and were too wrapped up in their little wrestling match to notice her. Peter was watching with no small amount of awe as the two batted it out. Theo plopped down next to Remus on the couch and pulled her legs up. She smiled at him and he smiled back.

"So, be honest with me…" Remus looked at her in confusion, inviting her to continue with a nod. "Will I ever be able to sleep in my room again or has Marlene finally gone off the deep end?" Remus laughed at that, apparently finding it quite amusing. Theo would find it funny too if she wasn't actually worried about what was going to happen. Marlene had demonstrated once that she didn't mind messing with Theo's things and that was before she had anything to blame Theo for. She shuddered to think what was going to happen now.

"I think you might have to consider moving. She seemed really upset." Theo let out a heavy sigh and leaned back into the couch, letting it envelope her.

"What the hell was Black thinking?" She closed her eyes, listening to the sounds of the common room. This was the first time she actually spent time here while others were around. There was a gentle hum of conversation, as well as the random thud and shout from James and Sirius's match and even an occasional clap from Peter. It was nice.

"He meant well," Remus answered. His amusement was still evident but fading.

"How did he think blaming me for his break up would help anything?"

"He thought that by saying you were the reason, Marlene would back off." Theo snorted. "He just sort of saw it as a way of marking you as one of us. Then you'd have our protection and support."

"I don't need protecting," she muttered, feeling her whole body sag. She was getting tired… "I'm also not one of you. At best I think I'm a charity case."

"Don't let them hear you say that, James will want to hug you until you believe him. Sirius will pout, and then you're screwed." Theo had noticed Sirius's little habit of pouting to get his way. She had mostly seen it worked on her roommate but occasionally he'd turn his puppy dog eyes on one of his friends and they would begrudgingly agree to whatever he said. She wondered if she'd stand a chance against his famous pout.

"James is a bit of a hugger, huh?" Remus chuckled.

"Yea, I think Sirius tried telling him you didn't appreciate it but then you walked in. I'm surprised he got to James in time."

"Why does he want to hug me? He doesn't hug you guys," she grumbled as she rolled onto her side and rested her head on the armrest.

"I don't think you'll like the reason much." Theo sat up and looked at Remus dead in the eye.

"There's an actual reason that has been discussed?" Remus seemed confused by her sudden change in mood. It went from lazy banter to an interrogation so quick he found himself tripping over his words.

"I-I mean, its n-nothing bad…"

"No I get that, but like you guys talk about me?"

Remus was really confused now. He thought that maybe she was upset about the reason, or maybe she thought they were being rude. He thought he'd see offense when he looked in her eyes but instead he only saw shock and… fear?

"Sometimes, why?"

"It's nothing, I just thought that… never mind. Why does James hug me and no one else?" Remus and Theo were familiar, but they weren't quite close enough for Remus to push a subject Theo wasn't comfortable talking about so he let it drop but promised to ask again when she seemed less jumpy. She relaxed back into her original position, closing her eyes again.

"His exact words were 'she's so small and vulnerable I just want to wrap her up and keep her safe.'" Theo snorted again.

"That's ridiculous. I am neither small nor cute." Remus wanted to say something to deny it. He wanted to say that she was wrong, or that James was right, or just do something but he didn't know how. He could see the way Theo curled in tighter, burying her face into the armrest to hide it from his view. She was scared and vulnerable, being here with them.

She was humoring them, Remus realized. She wasn't agreeing to being their friend, or letting them get close. She didn't trust them. She was here because right now she had nowhere else to go. Her friends were busy and her roommate was on a rampage, leaving her stranded with people who had done nothing to ease her transition from one school to another and only just expressed interest in befriending her. She was out on a limb just hoping they wouldn't snap it beneath her.

Remus wondered what she was thinking right now, curled up in the common room with so many people around. She probably wouldn't even go up to her room tonight, just deciding to sleep here until the morning when Marlene had already left. He wondered if she ever felt afraid because if she did he'd never seen it since the first day of lessons. Even then, her fear and trepidation were short lived. He wondered how deep those words cut her, and wondered why he'd never said anything to stop it. He just always thought that she didn't need his help, but seeing her so vulnerable he couldn't help but realize that even if she didn't need the help, she probably wanted it. She must have felt so alone.

"Lily, my love!" Remus turned his head to the entrance of the girl's dorms where the redhead stood, arms crossed and hip jutting out. She zeroed in on Sirius and walked straight toward him, looking ready to kill.

"Sirius Black, what the hell were you thinking?!" Sirius went to reply but Lily was speaking again. "Of all the ways to end things with that Harpy, you chose a note? And then you top it all off with blaming Theodosia?"

Remus looked back to the couch to see a sleeping Theo, completely unaware of the fight that was about to ensue on her behalf. He gently laid the blanket he had been using over Theo, taking care to cover her ears before casting a silencing charm. She had dealt with enough for one day, he decided.

"I didn't blame Theodosia! I just said her actions towards Theodosia were the reason I ended things! There's a difference." Sirius took on a stance very similar to Lily's, popping his hip out in a manner so like Lily's that Remus would have thought he was doing it on purpose if he hadn't seen that exact pose only an hour ago when he was fighting with Marlene.

"Of course there is but do you think she knows that? Couldn't you have listed any one of her other faults? Honestly, she has enough."

"Don't be rude, Evans."

"I'm the rude one? You used a note, Sirius. Not even a well written one! 'It's been fun. No longer yours, Sirius.' Honestly, have you no shame?"

"Well it was fun."

"That is not the point!" Lily's face almost matched her hair. They hadn't been yelling very loudly, but people were looking at them now. Lily had stomped her foot in fury, and Sirius did the same. The two continued to bicker while other students made their way out of the common room one by one. James and Peter came to sit by Remus, and James nearly lost it with how cute he thought Theo was all tucked in.

"She's just so precious!"

"Honestly James, can you be any more of a girl?" It was a testament to just how far James had fallen if even Peter was calling him out on it. James huffed and sat on the floor in front of Theo. He glanced at her before adopting a serious look.

"Silencing charm?" Remus nodded. "Good, she's had a long day. Her friends have been fighting a lot, too."

Remus and Peter nodded. They had all heard the fight that broke out on the Hogwarts express. It had all been in French, but Sirius translated (begrudgingly) and said they were talking about loyalties. When pressed for more details Sirius said they were being painfully vague, saying things like "It's not about that" and "You should know better than to do this." There was one part that piqued their interest however. One of them had shouted in perfect English, "Has anyone stopped to think how she might be feeling?" and they could only assume the she in question was Theo.

After that the fight had calmed but the tension didn't seem to die and if Theo wasn't with them it probably meant they were still going at it. Remus wondered what that could mean for Theo in the months to come. He also wondered how this was going to affect their group as well. James seemed eager to take Theo in as he had Peter, though Remus could not understand why. Remus had encouraged their friendship with Peter, seeing what the boy was going through and needing to do something. James was reluctant at first but Peter proved his worth and soon James took on the role as Peter's protector and idol.

Remus understood that James loved the attention, but Theo seemed reluctant to give him any. Remus recognized what she was doing and he'd only spent an hour with her. He knew that she was trying to keep people away because he had done the very same thing the first year. He wondered how long she was going to last against James's efforts, seeing as he lasted all of a month before finally giving in.

(^^)

Theo lasted over two months and was still going strong. She didn't avoid them she just didn't really tell them anything or initiate conversation or spend time with them unless they asked (begged) her to. She was friendlier with Peter than she was with others, Remus noted. She'd sometimes get really excited about something, run up to Peter, whisper it in his ear and they would both laugh before Theo danced off to spend time with her actual friends leaving James and Sirius to badger Peter. Peter said he was sworn to secrecy but Remus was fairly certain he just enjoyed being the one who was getting the attention from the pretty girl.

And she was a pretty girl, if you asked Remus. You might get a different answer from Marlene and Marta, who would say she resembled a cow (or something equally as insulting) but that wasn't true. She was pudgy, but definitely not fat like others would sometimes say. She had high cheekbones not unlike Sirius's and her hair was such a wonderful color that Remus would sometimes watch it change colors from strawberry blonde to brown to red depending on the lighting. He wasn't the only one who noticed the many colors of Theo's hair and James was convinced that it was charmed that way. Remus knew that she wasn't what one would call a standard beauty but to call her ugly would be a lie. He also assumed he was a bit biased since he enjoyed her company immensely.

She seemed particularly nice to Remus the closer he got to his transformation, but Remus couldn't be sure if that was just coincidental timing or his imagination. She didn't dote on him like he noticed her do when her friends were sick, she just gave him chocolate during breakfast the two days leading up to the full, and during potions she wouldn't try and force him to work if he didn't want to. He assumed it was just something she did when people were sick, but when Sirius had caught the flu she avoided him to avoid getting sick as well. Sirius had been upset about that.

"She hates me! I'm telling you she hates me!" James was trying to get Sirius to relax into his bed but Sirius kept sitting up and ranting. "She never even looks at me unless she has to. She has never made eye contact with me once. I can't even tell you what color her eyes are!"

James sighed from his trunk. "They're hazel, now will you calm down? You know she doesn't like eye contact." Sirius crossed his arms and pouted. Sirius always acted a bit like a spoiled brat when things weren't going his way but it is apparently much worse when he was sick. Remus wished he would get better so he wouldn't have to listen to him whine.

"Yea but at least she makes eye contact with you. I accidentally brushed my arm against her and she jumped like I'd burned her or something!"

"You know she hates getting touched. She does that with everyone except for her friends." Peter was trying to help, Remus knew, but that only seemed to upset Sirius more and cause James to reply indignantly that they were her friends too. Remus snorted from his bed and was sure that he was getting a few dirty looks but he pretended they weren't there and just kept on with his homework.

Now it was two days before the full and he was feeling the effects. It was Thursday, which meant that he had potions with Theo again. She had already given him his chocolate and was doing most of the work for the potions though Remus was able to help. He noticed that she kept looking over at him, but pretended to ignore it. However, as the lesson bore on he found he was getting rather annoyed. Finally he spoke up.

"Is something wrong?" He didn't mean to sound as harsh as he did, but this close to the full he was more on edge that he normally was. Theo jumped and nearly stabbed her finger with the blade she was using to chop the last of the ingredients.

"What?" She seemed just as on edge as he was, but he pushed on regardless.

"You keep looking at me, am I doing this wrong? Because if I am you can just say something, you don't have to keep giving me that look." Theo's face had gone pale as she looked at him. Her eyes were wide and her mouth was hanging open slightly. Remus just stared back at her with hard eyes.

"I… you just didn't look like you were feeling good so I was worried. And you are actually stirring that a little too roughly…" Remus could not explain why he was so upset. He supposed part of it was the fact that he was being so obvious about his discomfort before the full, but it was more than that. He remembered how upset Sirius had been that she didn't try to comfort him when he was sick, and how James got upset every time she chose her other friends over them. He was upset with her because she was hurting them and on a normal day he understood the reasons for her distance but not when she only seemed to break the rules for Remus when he was sick from his lycanthropy.

"Why do you care if I'm sick? It's not like we're friends, right?"

Remus regretted the words the instant they left his mouth. Theo's mouth shut with a click and she lifted her chin and set back to work without another glance in his direction for the rest of class. He didn't mean it so much in the sense that he didn't want to be friends with her, more so that she didn't want to be friends with them. But he knew what that must have sounded like to her and he felt terrible. Thankfully James didn't seem to notice the little exchange, but that was little consolation to Remus when Theo looked like she did when someone said something awful to her.

When the bell rang she darted out of the room so fast that even her own friends couldn't catch up. Claire shot them a look but didn't say anything. Remus hung his head in shame all through his classes and all the way back to the common room. When they entered they noticed that Theo was sitting on the couch, which was an odd occurrence. Theo only spent time in the common room when she was with them. She was reading something, but when she saw them she shut it and stood up. She had a determined look on her face as she walked towards them. She was incredibly stiff, looking at the ground nervously. Her hands were clenched tight at her sides. She looked incredibly strange like this. Remus realized it was the first time she looked truly nervous and embarrassed.

"Hey Theo, is everything ok?" James asked when she came to a halt in front of them. Remus was nervous. She must be here to tell them off or tell James exactly what Remus said. He felt terrible and was sure that he deserved whatever James was going to say when she told them. James was almost a foot taller than her and incredibly lanky, making Theo look incredibly small when standing next to him. She looked even smaller when she refused to look up and kept her arms resolutely to her sides.

Then Theo took a deep breath and wrapped her arms around James's waist.