Sam's phone rings, waking him from a restless sleep. He immediately grabs it so it doesn't wake Dean.

"Hello?" he whispers. He listens intently and, closing his eyes, nods his head, "I'll be right there."

He slips out of bed and puts on his clothes as quietly as possible. He pauses, noticing a difference in Dean's breathing and then shakes his head. Must be his imagination. Dean doesn't move as Sam sneaks past his bed and out the door. Two doors down, he knocks twice. When the door opens, he steps inside and closes it behind him.

"Ruby, I told you I can't see you anymore…you have to stop calling me…"

Ruby stares at him, "Sham, thish concernsh you too. I had to call you."

"What concerns me? What's so important that you drag me out of bed in the middle of the night? Dean's gonna freak if he wakes up and I'm not there. His trust in me is shaky enough and finding me here with you would send him right over the edge…"

"Thish! Thish concernsh you!" Ruby shoves a piece of paper in his hand, "It's not fair, Sham, it's not!"

Sam opens the paper and looks at it, "Is this what I think it is?"

"Yesh! I've been fired! The demon corporate office pink-shlipped me…they shaid I'm inshubordinate! They think we're shleeping together… and apparently it'sh shpelled out shpecifically in the employee handbook that demonsh aren't shupposed to shleep with humansh. What am I shupposed to do now, Sham? Go on demon unemployment? I've got billsh to pay…black contact lenshes to buy, acting lessonsh to pay for, black leather pantsh…I had tenure! I had a 401K! Thish is all your fault!"

"Ruby, I shwear…I mean I swear I didn't know it was gonna go down this way or I would never have gotten you involved! What happened exactly?"

"All thoshe demonsh you've been shending back to hell gathered around the water cooler on break time and started gosshiping about ush. Word filtered up to the big bossh and they decided to turn me into an example sho that other demonsh wouldn't think inter-demonic relationshipsh were ok! Sham, I was jusht helping you out and now look what'sh happened!"

"I know, Ruby, and I'm sorry. I shoulda told the truth right away…as it is now, the fans think I'm either doing it with a dead chick or a demon-possessed body…either way, it's killing my reputation as a good guy, you know?

The door burst opens and in walks Dean, staring at them both suspiciously, "Something you want to tell me, Sam?"

"Dean, it's not what you think!"

"Sure it isn't. I totally believe you because you would never lie to me, would you? Cass told me I had to stop you and now I'm going to…"

Stepping over to Ruby, Dean quickly stabs her in the heart with the demon-killing knife, sending her demon smoke up in…uh…smoke.

Dropping the lifeless meat suit, Dean looks at Sam sadly, "Why'd you have to sleep with her, Sam? Do you know how sick and twisted that is? Tell me again how it's not what I think…"

"Dean, I didn't! I didn't sleep with her! You didn't have to send her back to hell, Dean! She was helping me! That's all!"

"Yeah, helping you use your powers for evil!"

"No, Dean…that was a cover! So was the sleeping with her! The secret is far worse than that…"

"What? More secrets, Sammy? Am I gonna have to hit you again?"

"Dean, I can't tell you…"

"You can tell me anything. I'm your brother…"

"Not this…you'd never understand…"

"Try me, Sam."

Sam turns away, mumbling under his breath, "I'm a fashion designer for women's lingerie…"

"You're a…a what?"

Sighing, Sam squares his shoulders and faces Dean, "I design women's underwear, ok? The day you came back from hell and showed up at my door, I was sewing up my fall line and Ruby was trying some things on…you know, to give a woman's perspective on wear and comfort. I told her I'd order a pizza for us if she'd let me tailor some stuff on her. I was going to go on that new reality show as soon as I had enough of a line to show. Anyway, when you and Bobby showed up, we really were expecting a pizza…so…now you know everything…"

"Ruby was helping you? And you weren't sleeping together? And you're some wacky Bob Mackie? Sam…I thought I could accept anything about you because you're my brother…I'm ok with you being a demon monster dude with psycho powers, I'm ok that you like to pass gas on set, I'm even ok that you're a friggin' skyscraper in jeans but this…I …don't think I can accept this, Sam…"

"Dean, I'm good! I'm really good at this! You know that bra you found in my room? That's one of my best creations….I don't know if you noticed but Ruby's tatas were almost non-existent. With that bra, they turned into full-fledged hooters, giving both uplift and smooth contours without cutting into the shoulder."

"Do you hear yourself, Sam? What side of crazy are you not seeing here? You're really scaring me, brother."

"Dean, what's the big deal? I'm still a hunter…"

"What's the big deal? What are other hunters gonna think? I'd rather they think you were doing it with a demon! I mean…what are you doing? You work with half-naked women, feel up their bras and panties, have them model for you while you…" Dean's eyes open wide as realization dawns, "Dude…"

"Now, you're getting it…" Sam smiles.

"Do you need an assistant? I'm a good assistant. I could help them get the clothes on and off, you know, so they wouldn't have to strain themselves hooking hooks and snapping things…"

"Glad you're getting on board with this, Dean."

"Wait, so I didn't have to send Ruby back to hell?" Dean pauses and then shrugs, "Oh, well, she couldn't act, she had only one expression she used in every scene, she had an annoying lisp that bugged the crap out of me and as a demon she was a joke."

"She didn't mind wearing underwear on-camera, though. Now, I'm going to have to talk someone else into it and every female guest-star we have you either sleep with or kill. I'm running out of options, Dean…"

"Kripke will find us another annoying no-talent actress to replace this one, don't worry. I promise, I won't sleep with her or kill her until you say I can, ok? But, dude, I gotta be the assistant. You know, I'm gonna need a cool assistant name…like…Chaz or Francois or something…can you think of anything?"

"How about Igor, Dean?" Sam shakes his head, opening the door and walking out of the room.

Dean runs after him, "That's funny, Sam…real funny…."