Ruby stands by the window of the diner, watching Sam and Dean inside ordering dinner. Her lips move silently as she reads the "Special of the Day" sign…"P…I…E.." Realizing someone's standing next to her, she jumps back.
A devastatingly handsome man in an overcoat stands nearby. He tilts his head, focusing his blue eyes intently at her, "Ruby…"
"Yesh? Do I know you?"
"We know you" the man intones and touches her forehead with two fingers, "Remember…"
Fuzzy images, a house twirls in a circle, a witch flies by on a bicycle, a yellow brick road…sorry, wrong movie.
Fade to…
A theatre in California…teenage Ruby in acting class, trying to be a tree and managing quite well with the whole 'standing still not doing anything but being a piece of wood' assignment.
Teacher looks sadly at Ruby. It seems to be her normal expression when with this particular student, "Can't you wiggle your leaves or pretend the wind is blowing you or something?"
Ruby looks at the teacher confused, "I don't have any leaves…"
Dejected, the teacher turns and walks away...
Fade to…
Dinner Theater in Kansas…Ruby plays the heroine in an old-style cliff-hanger. In the first scene, her acting is so bad that the crowd boos and hisses at her instead of the villain. The audience throws popcorn at her whenever she walks on stage. When she is finally tied to the rail-road tracks at the end of the play, the train gets a standing ovation.
Fade to…
Ruby wins a walk-on to Sesame Street where she shares the screen with Elmo.
"Tell me, Ruby, do you love sunshine and flowers?" Elmo asks her brightly
She picks Elmo up and throws him across the room. The children shriek in horror.
Ruby looks confused…"Did I do shomething wrong?"
Fade to…
New York – Ruby tries out for daytime television. In her first love scene with a handsome co-star, he walks right by her because she blends into the scenery and starts kissing a standing coat-rack.
She taps him on the shoulder, "Excush me…I'm over here…"
Apologetic, he starts the scene again, trying to kiss her but failing because her lips don't move. Confused, he tries again, getting the same result.
"I'm sorry" he says with embarrassment, "Is there something wrong with your lips?"
Ruby nods, "I had them shewn into place sho I would alwaysh have full lucioush lipsh.."
Fade to…Last Season…
Ruby runs up behind a man and gives him a hug around the waist. The man turns and smiles down at her. "Uncle Eric" she asks, "Can I shtill have a part in your TV sshow? You promished if I wash a good demon, I could…"
"Yes, Ruby…I promised you and I'll keep that promise no matter what the fans say about you and your acting ability…"
Fade to…
A devastatingly handsome man in an overcoat stands nearby. He tilts his head, focusing his blue eyes intently at her, "Ruby…"
"Yesh?"
The man calmly says "You see, don't you, that your bad acting has really hurt a lot of people. Your drama teacher who felt like a failure because you were the one student she couldn't teach to be a tree…All those diners enjoying a pleasant family dinner at a local restaurant - all turned to the dark side, cheering for a train to run over you and kill you dead…The children you warped when you smacked down Elmo…your co-star who thought kissing a coat-rack was pretty hot and ended up with a weird wood fetish…We have to stop it. Your uncle's reputation is on the line…our ratings are on the line…and my wings are on the line if I let you continue to act on this show. It ends here…now. Do you understand?"
"Shure…it endsh here…now…uh…um…what endsh here and now?"
He sighs and raises his voice slightly, "I'm saying I'm going to smite you…vanquish you…dissolve your demony essence into a smoky haze…do you get it now?"
"…….uh….."
"Dead meat…slayed…killed…smooshed…"
"Shmooshed? You're going to shmoosh me? Nooooo…"
Suddenly, Ruby disappears in a cloud of smoke. Castiel raises his eyes to the heavens and listens, "Yes, I know…if I'm gonna shoot, shoot…don't talk…Sorry, chief.."
He walks slowly away into the night