EPOV: Now Or Never
After getting Bella's letter, my world was spinning. I couldn't get a grasp on reality. I left her a ton of messages but none she called back on. I wanted to be with her, I wanted to see her. I didn't want to be tough and smile for my family and friends. I wanted to cry. She left me and she didn't even tell me. She acted so strange before she left the house to lay down, which she really didn't she just left. It's only been one day since she left and everyone has been weird. Jasper's worried about Alice, and Emmett sad. Rose is just as freaked out as I am. It was late, I was tired and confused and just ready to close my eyes and think about Bella when my phone started to go off. I thought it was my mom or dad. But when I checked the caller ID it said Bella. I picked it up.
"Bella." I said breathlessly.
"Edward." She sounded sad and confused, just as I probably sounded but she was the one who left not me.
"Where are you?" I wanted to know if she made it to New York.
"I'm in New York. I'm okay. Don't worry about me. Did you read my letter?" I wanted to scream into the phone. I wanted tell her of course I got her letter. Her damn letter. That made me cry for about 4 hours.
"Ya, I got it. Why did you tell me Bella? Why?" I sounded like a kicked puppy but I didn't care.
"I was stupid. I didn't want to. I was selfish, and I didn't think about you and how you would feel. I understand if you hate me right now. I don't blame you." I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.
"I will never hate you Bella, I just wish you told me. I love you. But I'm mad at you. I need some time to forgive you." I heard her uneven breathing.
"Okay. Call me." She sounded hurt. But she has to understand how much she hurt me. By leaving a letter and not talking to me.
"Bye." With that I hung up and threw my phone across the room against the wall and fell to my knees and cried for Bella. My Bella.
BPOV
When Edward told me that he needed to forgive me. I was shocked at first but then I understood that what I did to him was horrible. I fell asleep for forever after I closed my eyes with thoughts of Edward in my head. I woke up around noon. I decided I need to go out and buy some nice clothes. I was gone for almost 2 hours when I got back to the loft. I had bought a ton of new things. Mostly nice looking things, that I could wear and not have people look at me like I was a starving artist. Which I wasn't. The loft was empty so I decided to make some food. I ended up making chicken with a butter and garlic sauce with some noodles. Edward still hadn't called. I kept checking my phone, but no messages or missed calls. When I was cleaning up the kitchen, I heard someone come in.
"I wanted to saw goodbye and good luck. I'm leaving." Mrs. Harris said to me from the doorway of the kitchen. I smiled at her and made my way over.
"I'll walk you down." Her car was already there and her bags were in the trunk.
"Hey are you going to be all right?" She asked. I shrugged.
"I have no clue. But if you stick around for another 10 years you might find out." Was all I said back, and she hugged me once more.
"Just follow your dreams and what you believe and you will..." I raised a hand to her.
"If you say to follow my dreams, or what I believe in, or my damn heart for that matter. I will slash your cars tires, and how will you get to the airport then?" I said with a smirk, and she chuckled.
"I'll call another car." I sighed.
"Seriously, give him time. He has to think to. You leaving without him or telling him was really stupid." She said to me as she opened the door of the car, and was about to get in.
"Ya, that's me stupid Bella." She shook her head and lightly touched my chin.
"You are not stupid. Sometimes you might be selfish, and wrong doing. But you do it because you have a good heart and you would do anything to make things right. He'll forgive. But make sure you forgive yourself. If you don't, you won't understand anything." And with that she was gone. I watched as her car drove off into the bust street. I slowly turned and made my way back up stairs. I flopped down on the living room couch and thought about my interview tomorrow. I was really nerves, and excited a the same time. I wanted this more than anything, but I wanted to be with Edward just as much. I was about to lay down when my phone started to ring. It wasn't Edward's ring, it was Alice's.
"What the hell where you think?!" She screamed at me over the phone, when I picked up.
"I wasn't thinking." She didn't say anything for a couple minutes, I heard her breathing so I didn't hang up. When she finally did, I knew she was crying.
"We just got him to sleep. He won't stop crying. It's like he's empty." She was crying harder now, and I was crying to but not enough for her to here.
"I'm sorry. " I managed to get out. She laughed, it was dry and sharp.
"No your not. You left him. You left me and everyone else. Without telling us." I didn't know what to say so I did my best.
"It's hard knowing so many people love you and you don't even know how to deal with it. All I can say is that I'm an idiot and I don't deserve him...listen I gotta go, there's someone at the door." I said and hung up. Of course there was no one at the door, but I couldn't stay on the phone with her. I cried myself to sleep that night and when I woke up, I took an extra long shower. I changed into my suit for the interview and did my hair. It was curled around my face and I wore make up, not much but just enough. When I was done it was time to go. I made it to The New Yorker in about 10 minutes and the building was huge. It was just how I imagined some place like this to be. I made my way into the building and to the 25 floor. The offices were nice and...clean. I made my way to offie number 223, it was at the end of the hall and it was a pretty big office. I knocked and the women who sat at the desk looked old, and tired.
"Come in." She waved me in, and I sat down on the chair on the other side from her desk.
"Hello my name is Isabella Swan. I'm here for the new position in October." She nodded and held her hand out.
"I'm Victoria White. I've been here for 15 years. I know about you. I've read your file. Your quite good at what you do." She smiled at me and I smiled back.
"Thank you." She nodded.
"We already picked who we want for the job...it's you. I looked over hundreds of applications and none have your style. We like it, it's fresh and and new. You start in October. Of course you won't have you own office yet, but if you work hard you'll get promotions left and right. So how do you feel about it?" I just looked at her, shocked mostly. I just got here, and I had everything planned to say to her, and she tells me I got it. I just sat down that's all I did.
"It's a lot to take in right now. But it all sounds so great." She looked at me weird, and then closed the folder she was looking at.
"Your not ready." I looked at her with an eyebrow raised.
"Excuse me?" She smiled lightly.
"You had the same look on your face that I did when I first started young. Now look at me, I'm old and tired. I don't have anyone to go home to because my work is to much. Don't get me wrong, it's everything I wanted. But it's not what I want any more and it's not going to be what you want any more either." I took a deep breath and let it out.
"So your saying don't give everything up for the job of a lifetime." I dry laughed at her, but she looked serious.
"Yes. It's exactly what I'm saying. You have your whole life to give things up. Don't start now. It says here your from Washington, you want to give everything up you have there?" She asked. I shook my head.
"No, I don't. The funny thing is, I don't know what I want." She chuckled.
"Nobody does sweet heart, that's what makes life exciting and worth wild. Get a job on the west coast, be with your family and friends. I'm guessing you left without telling anyone about this?" I nodded smirking. More to myself than to her.
"I don't blame you. Because if you told them it would have been 2 million times as worse. They'll understand, just give them time and explain it to them." She sounded so sweet, what the hell was she doing here.
"What did you have to give up?" I asked her, while I was getting up and going to the door.
"The love of my life." I wanted to cry for her, but I didn't I nodded, said goodbye and opened the door.
"Oh and Bella?" I looked back at her.
"Yes?" She looked at me with caring eyes.
"Tell that man who you love, that you can't live without him." I smiled at her and let the tears fall as I let her office, and the building all together. The ride to the loft was quick. I ran into my room, when I opened the door and packed all my things. I made sure I got everything and made my way downstairs locking the door behind me. On the way to the airport, I called Mrs. Harris.
"You must have got it." Was the first thing she said.
"I did. But I'm not going to take it. Thank you so much for everything though." She laughed on the other line.
"You do know what your giving up don't you. What ever your going home to must be pretty important to give up all that." I smiled to myself and replied.
"Ya, I would think it is. It's my heart." I said goodbye and hung up. I grabbed my bags out of the trunk and paid the driver. I made my way inside the airport and grabbed the first flight home, which was in 20 minutes. While I was waiting to be called, I checked my phone. 1 new message it read. I called my voice mail and listened to the message.
"Bella, it's Alice. Where going home. Our flight leaves at 5 pm. I just wanted to tell you. I miss you and I will always love you no matter what you choose. It was just kind of spring of the moment, but I understand now." I played the message once more before I got called onto the plane. I would make it home at least 2 hours before them. I needed to do this right. No going back. No leaving. It was now or never.
(I just love it so much. I had to write and update today. I hope your okay with that. lol. Tell me what you think? Or what you expect is going to happen? I love the feed back!)