Mealtimes were always an... Interesting affair at the Asia household. It wasn't that they disliked each other's food, simply that they were all too proud to admit they enjoyed the dishes. So, the type of food being served typically varied. Whether it was the winner of a bet, the loudest in an argument, or whoever was last standing in a fight, meals were often accompanied by dirty looks and snide comments. After multiple months of this, Japan had decided he'd endured it enough.
"Excuse me, but I have a possible solution to our... Situation. Perhaps we can do a challenge of sorts? A cook-off per say, and the winner's food is used for a month?"
The others considered it. Logically, it was a good idea. But who ever said The Asians were logical? After a moment of deliberation, everyone had come to the same conclusion. This might (like) actually be fun (da-ze/-aru)! China was definitely sick of tearing his siblings off of one another. Receiving consent from the other four, Kiku began to prepare for what, with his family, was sure to be a disaster.
•oOo•
"Hello this is your host, Leon Kaoru Wang and, like, you're watching 'Who's Gonna Fail First?'" Hong Kong grinned, twirling his microphone/whisk.
China raised an eyebrow.
"Like, what? It's a logical name..."
The rules of the cook-off were simple. Cook using whatever ingredients were necessary, and do it in an hour - however delicious the food was, they really didn't want to wait all day
"Okay, so first up is Honda Kiku, known best for his tasty sushi and extremely messed up Poppin Kitchen creations!"
"Leon-kun, you are supposed to be talking about food we personally make, not food that originated in our countries!" Japan nearly shouted, disgruntled that someone had brought up the infamous Poppin Kitchen.
Taiwan giggled. "And besides, you don't need to film - we're the only ones here!"
"I know, but, I'm totally going to get a kick out of this later."
"Good point! Send it to me."
Hong Kong trailed behind Kiku, filming the whole thing on his state-of-the-art-not-even-in-stores-yet smartphone. How he got the money for it, no one knew. What was more amazing was that he knew how to work it! The kid was a serious genius when it came to these things.
•oOo•
Exactly an hour later, Kiku rushed out with two small steaming bowls of Nikujaga, while Hong did his best to act as camera man, host, and judge number 2. Taiwan smiled at his obvious distress.
"Oh give me that!" Mei laughed, plucking the phone from Leon's hand.
Hong Kong and Taiwan dug into the dish while China, Japan, and Korea watched. Mei and Leon were the only ones judging, because:
A) Hong had decided not to cook anything.
B) He was basically indifferent about everything, so why should he be biased?
C) Taiwan had given puppy dog eyes until she was allowed to become a judge. (How could anyone resist?)
"Mmm... Yummy! 8/10!" Taiwan grinned through a mouthful of food
"This is, like, good. 9/10." Hong Kong nodded.
"Thank you very much, but may I ask why I missed the points?" Japan asked, slightly miffed that he'd been docked points, he thought his dish was perfect!
Mei nodded thoughtfully. "Well... I still want to win of course!" Hong however chose to shrug rather than give an answer.
"A-alright then?" Japan murmured, slightly bewildered. Hong Kong shot up from his seat.
"Our next contestant is my sister and, like, fellow judge, Mei Wang!"
Taiwan feigned upsetness. "No fancy intro?"
Leon smirked. "I'm sure we'll, like, get enough flattery when it comes to judging." Mei stuck out her tongue at this, and Hong copied, before taking his phone back and following her into the kitchen.
•oOo•
Taiwan rushed out, carrying two dishes of cubes of something Hong Kong had never seen before. As soon as his sister set the plates down, he decided he didn't need to see them- mush less taste them. They smelled... Awful!
"Uh, I think that you may have, like, screwed up this dish."
"Why?"
"It smells like sewage!"
Taiwan made a face. "I know. It's supposed to smell like this, go on, try it!" Doing his best not to gag, he downed a cube. Actually... This wasn't that bad! Pretty decent by his standards.
"I give my fabulous dish 10/10!"
The other Asian nations groaned. Why had they let her judge again?
"It tastes fine, but I give it a 6/10."
"What! Why?"
Hong stuck out his tongue. "It smells." Huffing jokingly, Taiwan pushed her plate into the garbage.
China laughed teasingly. "Quite the food critic, aren't you -aru?"
"Alright, our third contestant is the ancient, Hello Kitty loving, girlish looking -"
China glared at him.
"Uh... Yao Wang, everyone!"
Hong nervously smiled at his eldest brother before following him to the kitchen.
•oOo•
China laid out a classic Chinese dish of noodles and orange chicken.
"Ooh, this is spicy. 8/10!"
"This is really good GēGē. 9/10."
Tied with Japan -aru. Yao thought.
"Our fourth and final contestant is the hyper, over-active, dramatic, Im Yong Soo!"
Yong Soo looked at Leon. "Can you not film me while I cook? I want to try this by myself da-ze!"
Leon nodded, and waved Korea into the kitchen.
•oOo•
Japan smelled smoke, and judging by the looks on his siblings faces, they did too.
China smiled. "Aiyah! He's probably burned his whole dish -aru."
It didn't seem like anything too serious until there was a scream, and the sound of lots of things smashing. Leaping up, the four of them ran into the kitchen to see Korea standing in front of a mixture of ingredients and smashed cutlery on the ground, and mass of partially-melted metal that a China assumed was his stove.
"Uh... Takeout da-ze?" Yong Soo asked nervously.
Everyone looked to China, expecting some sort of a reaction.
"I give up -aru. Takeout it is..." China was, to say the least, upset. But he was also bewildered and amused too. How is it even possible to melt a stove in an HOUR? He has to be a worse cook than Opium! Yao re-contemplated that thought. Perhaps he was exaggerating a little.
No one was a worse cook than Opium.
He smiled slightly at Korea, and walked them to his sports car, bracing himself for the sure to be arguments about which takeout place, or what toppings if they ordered pizza.
•oOo•
After a delicious meal, he drove his family back home, dropping Japan off at his house along the way. Today was a good day... Perhaps I should let Korea cook more often!
China shuddered. Let Korea cook again? Maybe he was getting too old!
A/N:
This took soooooo long. I apologize for that, don't kill me! I wasn't really feeling much inspiration, and I'm currently working on two other fics so I didn't have a ton of time...
Thanks you guys so much! All your favorites, follows, and reviews mean the world to me. Plus, they make me update faster!
Japan having his own house: In this story, during the non-flashback chapters, Japan sleeps and hosts events at his own house, but for the most part stays at China's place.
HK: A headcanon of mine is that HK is very good with electronics. This started when I first got into the fandom, and confused Korea with Hong Kong.
Poppin Kitchen: A series of microwaveable Japanese meals used by mixing things in colored packets and water together. Apparently, they're extremely disgusting!
Nikujaga: This was briefly mentioned in the anime and manga, when Japan attempts to make beef stew for his boss but it turns out as Nikujaga. It's similar to a Japanese version of beef stew.
The dish Taiwan made is literally called stinky tofu, and it's often said to smell like sewage.
Responses to reviews:
mimi-chan and aliling-chan: Haha, I know. Japan was actually planned to win, but then China just came along and took the spot. By the way, you won the review contest! Tell me what character you'd like to see, and they'll appear in a chapter. (Just go back a chapter and look at the rules in the A/N!)
Calistropha: Yay! Thanks so much for reviewing my story. I'm glad you like my writing style and character interactions :). Also, thanks for the help with Thai and Viet! That will be very useful information for future chapters.
Happy cake: Thanks!
Hinotorie-hime: Thank you for your triple review! Japan has always been a wise person in my mind, and I'm happy you like that portrayal of him. The whole choppiness thing is what worries me most while writing. I'm glad you don't think my style is choppy!
Guest: Was it meant to be Giripan? No. Can you view it as Giripan? Yes! I love the pairing, I should sneak it in more often ;).
Review, it keeps me motivated! (And guilt-tripped)
I don't own Hetalia, Poppin Kitchen, or Hello Kitty. (If you thought I did, I'm sorry to disappoint.)