+Happy Birthday+
Packing up I didn't even try to dress up. I just threw on a pair of my tiny jean shorts, a white tank with a white blouse hanging open over it. I even just threw my hair up into a messy ponytail finding myself unable to do anything else with it. I was tired, it was too early, and all I wanted to do was link to my avatar. However I was instead placing the oxygen mask over my face so I wouldn't suffocate the moment I went outside. Throwing my bags over my shoulders I helped Jake with his. He didn't protest, in fact he appreciated it. He was in the same shape I was.
Making our way to the door we exited the shack to the outside world. It felt odd to be stepping outside in this familiar world, with our foreign skins. I guess you couldn't really call them foreign though. We had worn them for all of our lives. The scenery should have been the thing foreign to us.
Norm was in the distance chaining up the hut that contained his sleeping avatar. The Na'vi hadn't permitted him to stay in Home-tree once I had gotten better from my near death experience. He had reluctantly left and returned his avatar here, to where it had been remaining for the time being. He'd link with it every day to keep the avatar nourished, and active, but unlike Jake and me, he wasn't hooked. He could return easily to his human body, where Trudy awaited him patiently. He couldn't understand why Jake and I were so in love with being a Na'vi. He couldn't understand why we never wanted to leave. Maybe it was because he was in love with a human; not a Na'vi. Maybe because he was happy being who was, whereas we loved being someone different.
"Mia, did you grab my things like I asked," Norm called out to me. Shaking my head Trudy spoke up from faraway, "Don't worry I got them." Smiling at her, he jogged over to the helicopter where Jake and I were at. Helping me get Jake aboard we strapped my brother into his seat upfront before loading his wheelchair. Making sure Grace had all that she needed aboard we closed the hatch and sealed ourselves in. As the oxygen made its way into the compartment we were finally able to take off the masks.
Taking a seat I buckled myself in as Trudy started up the helicopter. I took a deep breath as I prepared myself for the ride. Ikran, I could control. Ikran, I knew I was safe because it had a mind of its own; a mind that wanted to protect not only itself, but me as well, however a helicopter was a machine; a mindless machine with no concept of human life. For some reason this analogy brought my mind to the differences between human and Na'vi's and before I realized it we were up in the air and halfway there.
"You're taking this calmly," Grace smiled looking over at me.
"Just gotta keep my mind busy. If I can ride an ikran, I can ride in this," I grinned at her.
"That's the spirit," she said as she turned to talk to Trudy once more. Yanking my bag up to me I pulled out my pen and notepad. Lately lyrics to new songs had been coming to me pretty easily. Some of the songs I had came up with already were, 'Can't breathe,' 'Brave,' 'Stone Hearts & Hand Grenades,' and 'See you.' I was still working on 'See you,' and I was having trouble with writing it. Every time I wrote another word it just didn't come out right.
Either way all the songs I had written recently had been inspired by one man, 'Tsu'tey.' It seemed like the lyrics just poured right out of me, and before I knew it I had these new songs. The music was in my head, it was just getting it out, and getting it onto a CD was the problem. I knew to do that I'd have to have help. I'd left my guitar back at base, so that was one thing I had to look forward to about going back.
While writing the lyrics to one of my newest songs, 'Lost then Found,' Jake managed to sneak a peek. When I noticed his prying eyes I pulled my book up to my chest. He chuckled and replied, "Don't worry it sounds good. A poem," he asked while I shook my head and replied, "No, lyrics."
"You're writing again?"
"Why not? It's just pouring from me lately," I smiled as I handed him the book. As he flipped through the pages he had a pensive look on his face, and when he finally looked up he replied, "It's like you got the hope back in you."
"Guess you can say that," I shrugged as the helicopter suddenly jerked. Looking forward I saw buildings, and soldiers. We were landing at Hell's Gate, a place we had been gone from for a long time.
Putting our masks back on, we opened the locked doors and let the unfit air back into the compartment. Helping Jake get out, I didn't notice the glances from many of the male soldiers. Nor did I want to for that matter. I could already hear some crude words. As Grace got out I jumped back in and grabbed the rest of my bags. About that time Wainfleet and his buddy Pike, at least I think that was his name, jumped onto the craft to talk to Trudy. However catching me bent over and reaching for my things, he couldn't seem to help what fell out of his mouth.
"Now that's one fine piece of ass," he chuckled to his buddy next to him. Standing straight up I turned and sent a glare their way. Trudy walked in right before I could open my mouth, "Back off Wainfleet! You wouldn't even have a chance with her if you even tried to act like decent human being." Sending a thankful smile to Trudy I grabbed the rest of my things and jumped off the plane.
Walking to the lab with my brother, Grace, and Norm, I found many curious heads turning. They were surprised we were back, and alive for that matter. When we walked into the main part of the laboratory Max almost dropped to Grace's feet as he thanked God she was back. Apparently there had been a lot of problems while we had been gone. Once he was done explaining he turned to Jake and me as he replied, "I set up your links. You can go whenever you want." Nodding, I practically sprinted to mine. Jumping in Max rushed over to stop me as he replied, "I need you back early. We have to go over some things." Nodding I replied, "Don't worry, I'll get back as soon as I can." With that I shut the hatch and let myself travel back to my avatar.
Upon awakening I didn't even take time to act like I had been sleeping. I immediately made a bee line for my ikran. Within minutes I was soaring through the sky without so much as a care in the world.
Leaning into Sage I smiled whispering, "This is more like it." Sage shook his head making small grumbling sounds in agreement. Letting Sage twist and turn in the sky while doing wicked aerial tricks, I didn't happen to notice the other one flying nearby until Sage almost ran right into his ikran. Hearing a loud screech I ordered Sage to move out of the way. When we were safe I turned back to look at who it was. Feeling my blood run cold at the sight of him, I forced my eyes to look away. Tsu'tey had been the one I had came close to hitting.
Turning back, I was heading for Home-tree when I heard a loud screech above me. Looking back, I had just enough time to avoid the ikran diving right at us. Glancing at the smirking Tsu'tey I yelled out in English, "You could have killed me asshole."
"You could have hurt me as well," he yelled back in Na'vi.
"Childish bastard," I grumbled angrily as I landed my ikran back on the tree limb. Feeling a jolt I turned and noticed Tsu'tey had as well. Jumping off of his banshee he walked over to me casually as if nothing had happened out there in the sky. Pulling his head band up he replied, "Can we talk?"
"No, there's nothing to talk about," I seethed as I tried to push past him, but he caught me and pulled me back.
"Mia I'm sorry…"
"It's too late to say that…"
"No it's not. I am sorry. I should have never did…"
"But you did, so it doesn't matter…" I yelled furiously getting up in his face, pointing an angry finger at him.
"It matters to me…" he began just as angry at how difficult I was making this for him.
"Why does it matter? You made it clear that you never wanted me to speak to you or…"
"It's different now."
"How is it different Tsu'tey? Listen, that moment… that kiss... it was a mistake. It should have never…"
"It wasn't a mistake. I wanted it," looking up at him now, my eyes widened as he went on, "I've wanted it for a long time. Mia you're an amazing woman. You're beautiful, different, you think with your heart and your head…"
"No, I don't want to hear this," trying to shove past him the only thing that kept running through my mind was that even though I wanted this, I felt like we were just going round and round. That within a day or two we'd hate each other again. It was an on going cycle. We couldn't be together. We were a mess waiting to happen. He was Na'vi, I was… I was a shell! I was human!
"Mia, listen…" he growled.
"No, NO, NO DON'T TALK TO ME! DON'T TOUCH ME! YOU WANTED ME TO LEAVE YOU ALONE, THEN THAT'S WHAT I'M GOING TO DO. I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ANY OF IT. You've hurt me enough," I hissed out the last part as I pushed against his chest. He stumbled back a bit into Sage who snapped at him. When he finally got his balance and got away from the ikran he looked at me with absolute shock, and a bit of hurt.
"I'm not someone you can push around. I've been pushed around my whole life. My emotions are not toys," I exclaimed furiously shaking my fist, "No amount of sorrys, and I shouldn't haves, are going to make it up. Don't you get Tsu'tey I don't want to be with anyone. I'm not someone you can be with!" At first I meant it in anger, but seeing his hurt expression my words tried to turn to care. I needed him to understand. He had to understand. We weren't the same. We would never be the same. He had a life that didn't belong to me. I had a life; one that I had to return to someday.
However, trying to make him understand just seemed to anger him. Then again maybe it was because the shock was wearing off from my outburst. "Sage was someone you could be with. You were able to be with him, and love him. You had your problems. That I'm sure of, but you worked it out. You're not someone nobody can be with. You have a choice to be a Na'vi, instead of a sky-person. There are ways you can make this permanent." Noticing how he was meaning my body from the way he moved his hand up and down; not the lifestyle, I realized he knew something he wasn't telling me. My eyes narrowed on him as I asked, "What do you mean Tsu'tey? What do you know?" Noticing his eyes widen when he realized he had said too much he shook his head while saying, "You know what, never mind." Trying to walk away, it was me this time to reach out to him. Feeling my hand on his arm he turned to look at me with a guilty expression.
"When I was sick…I think…I'm not sure…but I saw memories; memories that weren't mine. I saw Sylwanin. I saw her through your eyes. What did you do Tsu'tey while I was unconscious," I questioned him with harden eyes. Turning to me, he took my hand off of his shoulder and held it in his as if he were studying it.
"I shouldn't have done it… it's reserved to only mates … but I was worried for you," Tsu'tey mumbled as his eyes slowly came up to look into mine.
"What did you do," I hissed as my fear grew. Tsu'tey had done something. So I was right. However what made me fearfully and on edge was what he had said. 'It's reserved to only mates.' What did that mean? Then again what on my planet was only meant for mates? My eyes widened in shock. No he wouldn't, that wasn't even possible here was it? However even as I thought that I knew it was ludicrous, but still I felt the hair on my neck stand on end.
Reaching behind me he brought my braid forward, and held my queue in front of me. Then he reached behind his back and brought his forward. Looking at him curiously he slowly placed them together. I watched in awe as the pink feelers felt at one another curiously before twisting around and pulling our queues into one single pink strand. The moment they did though, it felt like there was an explosion inside of me; one that made me forget the world around me. I felt off balance as this new incredible feeling was rushing through my veins. Feeling a hand on the middle of my back I couldn't help but lean into it. In return I felt this satisfactory feeling inside of me, not only for me, but for another.
With my eyes closed I felt this odd feeling of want; a want to feel and taste my lips, and to nuzzle my cheek into the crook of my neck. However as this thoughts occurred I realized they were not mine. They were Tsu'tey's. Opening my eyes, I looked at the man before me in a daze. Fighting the urge to moan out his name I decided to play his game. Sending him angry thoughts, I found they instead were mixed with wonder, and a wish that I had been awake when this had first happened. Feeling his chuckles coming from his throat, and also hearing them, it brought about my own as I leaned into him. There was no resisting. I couldn't resist this, because it was all around me, consuming me in a warmth, and care I had never before experienced. As long as I was with him this way it felt as if nothing could harm me, and I felt as if I was… his.
I suddenly felt myself being lowered onto the tree limb to kneel with him. Closing my eyes I let my own mind roam through Tsu'tey's, while his flowed through mine without worry. Feeling his emotions at what he found inside my memories, thoughts, and emotions; not to mention what I had felt through the past few days, I couldn't help but feel stripped. I was vulnerable here in his arms. He knew everything….he knew everything…oh crap he knew everything! My eyes shot open as I looked at him with realization. That's what he had meant! He knew what I was.
As his eyes opened he looked at me with guilt. He looked as if he were a child who had been caught sneaking cookies from the cookie jar before his dinner. Feeling his honest guilt, I couldn't help, but feel my own from keeping this secret from him. Now I knew he understood; that he had always understood. Leaning my forehead against his, I placed my hands on his cheeks, as tears filled my eyes.
"I'm not real," I whispered to him as the tears poured freely. It was the plain and simple truth and he knew it. He had always known it. "But you are real to me," he mumbled back as he wiped my tears away. Pulling away from his touch; I reluctantly disconnecting my queue from his. All the feelings, all the memories, rushed back into me, and then… disappeared. His emotions I felt, and his visions, were all gone; along with the feeling of being safe and warm. I felt vulnerable in front of him. I felt like I was in an odd place, but I did feel something. I felt hate. Hate that he had violated me. Hate that he had figured it out, and hate that there within that moment I realized just how much I loved the man before me. I hated how that for some reason I felt we were meant for each other. I most of all hated how it wasn't just my knowledge, but their deity's as well. Eywa knew we made a perfect match… perfect mates. We were meant, but we could never be, and I hated all of it.
Standing up I looked at him once with sad eyes, before walking away. He let me too. He let me walk away, because he understood that no matter how much we knew the fact that we were meant for one another, that in his people's eyes he belonged to Neytiri; where I belonged to the sky-people. We could never tell of this; not to anyone, because it was forbidden for them to connect queues with anyone other than their mate. No one would know just how right we were for one another, because we were so different.
When I awoke in my human body I found Max waiting for me. Slowly getting out of the machine I saw him motioning over to the middle of the room. Following him I took a seat at the control panels. "You said we needed to talk," I replied calmly still feeling mentally exhausted from what had happened earlier. Max nodded as he took a seat next to me with a pen and a notepad.
"Grace's last update said she believes you're getting too involved in this, as is Jake," Max stated looking at me closely. Without a change in mood I shrugged, "Don't worry about it. We'll get through it. Jake's a marine, and I've been through worse."
"I'm aware of that Mia. Considering the recent death of your brother, it's obvious you've been through worse," Max tried to sympathize, but all he did was anger me.
"Try the extinction of my whole family, Max. Me and Jake are all we have left. Like I said before I've been through more than anyone in their lives will. I've lost family, friends, and a lover. Not to mention, I've been to prison for intoxication, and drugs. I've also been through a miscarriage, plus a car wreck that killed a woman. I've worked my tail off for years to achieve a life many would dream of; a life in my opinion that is worth squat. So excuse me if I find living amongst the Na'vi enjoyable. I might be deep in, but here's one thing that my brother and I can do that most can't. We can turn away from our happiness when we have to. We've done it for years. I've been doing it for 27 years," I spoke vehemently as he looked at me with a stony expression.
"28," he replied as my brow rose.
"What," I asked curiously.
"You're 28 Mia. Your birthday's today. June 15, is it not," Max looked at me with slight wonder that I had forgotten. Lowering my eyes I whispered, "Yeah, slipped my mind I guess."
There was a dead silence for a few moments while he let me register this new discover before he spoke up, "I have some gifts for you." Snapping my head up, I watched as he stood. Walking over to me he leaned over to turn on the computer. Sticking in a junk drive he replied, "You're brother had this made for you, when he had his will written up. I think you should listen to it." When he got the video up and running he walked out of the link room to give me some time.
Turning to look at the monitor I felt my eyes water when I saw his face. Jake's face, but different. This was Tommy with his clean shaven, short cropped, and sparkling eyes. He was wearing a suit, and his face seemed grim.
"Mia I hope you'll never have to see this. I know we lost a lot of people. However I feel I should make this for you just incase. I've made one for Jake too so don't worry. Anyway whatever has happened to me I want you to know I'm alright wherever I'm at. I'll be looking out for you and keeping you safe. I'll tell everybody up there that your fine, but Mia you need to get yourself together again. Stop blaming yourself for everything that happens. Stop holding back, and let people in. Jake needs you now that I'm gone, and you need him. Mia it's time you let Sage go. It's time you move on and let someone else in. Don't let anybody tell you what you should do. I always hated those managers of yours for doing that," Chuckling as I wiped tears away he continued on, "Mia if you want it bad enough then fight for it. It's your turn to fight. Don't let your nerves get to you, and remember I'll always be there watching out for you. This world here on Pandora is full of opportunities waiting for you to reach out for them. Mia I beg that you don't return to Earth. If you can find a way to stay for good then please do. Earth is dead, and there's no place for you back there. I've also asked that if anything happens, that Jake be sent to Pandora, so if he's not already there, then he will be. Mia all that I ask is that you be happy, and you stay true to yourself. If it's what you want then do it, be it, live it…whatever. This is your chance for a better life. I love you sis, and please don't cry I hate it when you do that. I'll see you someday Mia." With that ended the small video. Max walked in a little while later to find me just sitting there looking at his picture.
With a comforting look he placed his hand on my shoulder and held out his other. Looking at it I noticed a familiar silver chain with a very familiar ring on it.
"That was Tommy's. He always wore them," I replied sadly taking them from his hand.
"He left them for you and Jake to decide who gets what," Max explained as I nodded. Looking at them I instantly took the silver chain and placed it around my neck. Jake could have his college ring.
"Is that all you needed," I asked Max as I stood up.
"No. My gift to you was to see if you wanted to test a new experiment for me," he smiled brightly.
"Do I want to know," I asked him with a smirk. Handing me a box he replied mischievously, "Maybe."
A little while later I was standing in a containment cell wearing something similar to those nose plugs old people wore for help to breathe. However instead of an oxygen tank attached to it, there was what looked like a tiny speaker instead. The speaker looking thing was attached to a band that was wrapped around my throat. What bothered me about the whole thing though was the band was Velcro so it felt kind of itchy, which was making me want to scratch at it.
"Stop that, or you'll yank the thing out," Max ordered from beside me. He was wearing the normal oxygen mask while his buddy stood on the other side of the glass.
"It's itchy. You should get it fixed so it's wearable," I groaned. He simply chuckled before asking, "Are you ready."
"As good as I'll ever be," I mumbled. Turning to look at the woman on the other side of the glass, he made a sign for her to go ahead. Within moments I could see the air change around me. They were letting in Pandora's air. However as I took in a large breath I found I was not choking to death. Instead I was breathing perfectly fine as if I had the mask on.
"Guess it works," Max exclaimed looking at the woman on the other side.
"So let me get this straight. You're trying to make a new way to breathe on this planet," I asked him with curiosity while he checked me over.
"More or less, like I said the soldiers are getting annoyed with the current masks. However this won't be available to any of them for at least another year. We have to get it FDA approved," Max explained as he motioned for the woman to turn the air back on again. Slowly, the non-toxic air seeped back in, making it able for me take off the weird contraption. Looking at my neck Max replied, "You're neck doesn't do well with Velcro does it?"
"Velcro bugs me," I replied puckering out my lips like a child. Max chuckled as he began to walk away.
"Hey wait, you forgot the…"
"It's yours. I told you I had a birthday gift for you," Max called back as we made our way out of the room. Looking down at the gift I smiled. Thanks to this little doodad I could go anywhere outside as long as it was on base. Thanks to Max I now had the option to get the hell away from these walls without the worry of needing a mask, or authorization for one. Max here was a little rebel all in his own.
Pocketing the contraption, I found I was being forced by Max to go to dinner that night. I was going to skip and just grab a bunch of things out of the vending machine, but he crushed that idea very quickly with a guilt trip.
As we made our way to the double doors I found something quite unusual. Unlike normal, the lights seemed to be off. How I knew that was that the windows were dark, instead of shining a bright light onto the wall across the hall like normal. Another thing that I found unusual was that even though it was distinctly time for dinner, the place seemed quiet. Looking at Max he simply shrugged his shoulders.
Opening the doors for me I walked inside anyway. However I regretted it because the moment I did the lights were switched on almost immediately, and a thundering, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY," echoed throughout the whole cafeteria. Looking around at everybody I saw faces I didn't recognize, until I turned to the people standing almost right in front of me. Jake, Grace, Norm, Trudy, Selfridge, Quartich, and a few others I had seen around the building were there wearing proud looks.
"I forgot, that's not fair," I exclaimed with a laugh as my eyes glanced at the decorations, and the giant cake on a long table not far away. Looking back at Max I asked, "You knew about this?" As he nodded evilly I walked over to Jake and hugged him, "Thanks Jake."
"Don't look at me, this was all Grace's idea, with Selfridge's and Quartich's help," Jake explained nodding his head up to the others. Standing up straight I walked over to Grace and hugged her tight.
"Thanks Mom," I replied as Selfridge replied from beside us, "What no thanks for us. Come on kiddo we'd like some cake so hurry up." Shaking my head I heard Grace sigh before replying, "Come on. I think these marines are going to die just looking at it." Chuckling we walked over to the huge blue frosting cake where I found Quartich handing me a tiny cup cake that sat beside it. Lighting it with a lighter from his pocket I looked at him curiously.
"The cake was too big to put candles on, so I decided to save you the humiliation of trying to blow them all out," he said forcing a smile. Thanking him I took the cupcake with the single lit candle on top.
"Make a wish," Norm urged me as everyone started to sing happy birthday. Taking a deep breath I made my wish. When the song ended I blew out the candle as applause erupted throughout the room. Smiling at them I took the knife from Quartich and cut the first piece. From there it was a mad house as people swarmed the table.
Later after dinner, when everyone had finished, we all pushed back the tables, and turned down the lights. Somebody turned up the speakers as they turned the music up full blast. Somebody turned on some techno lights they had installed earlier that day, making the environment more party like. However instead of jumping into the excitement I lingered back with Jake.
I told him of the video Max had showed me. I even told him what Tommy had said to me, as he simply listened with a couple of nods before replying he had already seen his. He said it bothered him, but he'd be okay. Giving him Tommy's ring, I found the small smile he had brighten. Jake had always liked his ring so I thought it was only fair for him to get it while I got Tommy's chain. Looking out into the crowd of people I heard Jake ask from beside me, "Aren't you going to go out there?"
"No, not really," I replied.
"Why, it's your party. You should," Jake pushed as I simply shook my head.
"No, there's no one I want to dance with, and I'm not a dancer. I'm a singer," I announced a little too loudly. A soldier, hearing my words, told another, and then that one told another. Before I knew it I was being forced to the corner of the room with a microphone.
"Come on Mia, sing for us. If you won't dance with one of us, you at least owe us something," Pike urged me on as did Norm, and Trudy. I started to shake my head when I caught Grace's encouraging looks. Slowly giving in I took a deep breath and exhaled. Well I guess I could give them a new song I had running in my head all night.
"Hold up… hold on… don't be scared
You'll never change what's been and gone
May your smile… Shine on…
Don't be scared
Your destiny may keep you warm.
Cause all of the stars are fading away
Just try not to worry
you'll see them some day
Take what you need
and be on your way
And stop crying your heart out
Get up (get up)… Come on (come on)… why you scared (I'm not scared)
You'll never change what's been and gone
Cause all of the stars are fading away
Just try not to worry
you'll see them some day
Take what you need
and be on your way
And stop crying your heart out
Cause all of the stars are fading away
Just try not to worry
you'll see them some day
Take what you need
and be on your way
And stop crying your heart out
Well all of the stars were fading away
Just try not to worry
you'll see us some day
Just take what you need
and be on your way
And stop crying your heart out
Stop crying your heart out
Stop crying your heart out
Stop crying your heart out…," by the time I finished I couldn't open my eyes. I was afraid to see their reaction. It was a new song, something they had never heard before. However instead of seeing their reaction, I heard their reaction. Applause came from everyone, and almost everywhere around me. It brought back a good feeling.
Quickly making my escape the moment I found one I took to another corner as the music started up. People were out in the middle of the room either acting like fools, or showing off within a matter of moments. Smiling at the chaos I felt a tap on my shoulder. Turning, I found Norm standing beside me with his hand held out.
"A dance my lady," he chuckled as he did the old timey bow and everything. Laughing I nodded and let him lead me out onto the dance floor right as the old hit, "Running up that Hill,' by Placebo came on. Smiling brightly I let him lead as the lights starting going to the beat of the music. It made me feel a little sleepy, but I fought against it, however the feeling did come close to winning out until I felt another tap on my shoulder. Turning I found Selfridge. Forcing back the scowl I let him dance with me until the song was over. When the last note was over I made a dash for Grace. I remained hidden behind her and Max for the rest of the night as I watched the others. They seemed happy. Especially Norm and Trudy.
However the sight of the lovebirds became too much for me to handle when it brought Tsu'tey up in my mind. With that thought I whispered to Grace that I was leaving for the night. She gave an understanding nod and allowed me to go. Slipping past a bunch of marines and random workers I made my way for the door. Right as I was leaving I caught Wainfleet's gaze. He was standing next to Pike laughing loudly and waving his arms around just as wildly. It was obvious he was drunk. Hell I could smell it from here. Scrunching up my nose I moved my eyes away from his. Walking out I made my way down the hall, but halfway down I heard the cafeteria's door open behind me. I turned my head just slightly to see who it was out of curiosity. However getting a tiny glimpse of the mystery person I felt the hairs on the back of my neck raise. It was Wainfleet with his drunken gaze narrowing straight at me.
Quickening my pace I made my way to the closest place I knew of; the lab. However as I turned the corner of the hallway I found I could no longer hear his footsteps. Coming to a halt I sighed. I was paranoid. That was it. Just because what happened with Tommy and me doesn't mean it will happen again.
Taking a deep breath I went to turn the corner when I found myself face to face with a grinning Wainfleet. "Where do you think you're going to," he breathed heavily as he slowly backed me up to the wall. He stunk of alcohol, and his normally blue eyes were glazed over with a strong look of want in them. My senses were immediately put on alert.
"To the lab. I have to link with my avatar, so if you would please move I'd appreciate it," I spoke irritable as the fearful nerves rose up inside of me. If this man so much as put a hand on me and he'd regret it.
"No, I'd much rather stay right here," he slurred moving closer to me.
"Move, now, or I'll scream," I warned him calmly, but he ignored me as he suddenly reached out and shoved me against the wall, while placing his hand on my mouth. Trying to scream I ignored his traveling hands as I struggled in his grasp. The bulky man had literally pressed his whole body against me as he tried to stop me from struggling. Biting down on his hand finally he jerked it away angrily. When he did so I jerked myself away from him and screamed out for help. His attention averted from the pain in his hand immediately, to the racket I was causing.
Taking off after me down the hall as I tried to make my way back to the cafeteria, he easily reached out his long arm and yanked me back by my blouse. Hearing a loud rip, and feeling the sudden jerk, I still couldn't prevent the fall. The moment I hit the hard linoleum floor, I found the massive shadowed Wainfleet moving on top of me. Growling in anger and pain I fought to push him off. However he simply grasped my hands and held them above my head. Lifting my knee I went to kick him in the crouch, but his hand moved quick enough to stop me. This left me with an open hand. Remembering what my manager had told me long ago I jabbed my finger into his eye.
"MOTHERFUCKER," he screamed angrily, before throwing his fist at my face. The moment it made contact I could already feel darkness closing in. One more hit like that and I'd be out.
Shaking my hand out of his I started trying to crawl away as he was focused on his injury. Yet the moment I went to stand he got his sight back in time to see my escape attempt. Grabbing my ankle he yanked me back down.
"GOD DAMN IT STAY STILL," Wainfleet yelled angrily as I cried out, "SOMEBODY HELP PLEASE."
"SHUT UP," Wainfleet yelled at me angrily as I threw my fist at him, and kicked at his chest. Wainfleet grasped my blouse again and this time as I jerked away it was ripped off of me, and lay in a shred on the floor by my left.
"SOMEBODYYYYY… HELP MEEEEEE," I cried as he raised his hand and backhanded me to shut up. However I didn't relent, and when he found I wasn't he brought his hand into a fist and was just raising it above his head when he was suddenly yanked off. Opening my eyes, I saw two blurry shadows. One was trying to hit my attacker, while the other was trying to reason with him. Another couple of shadows came running in, along with one I could only recognize as Jake rolling over to me in his wheelchair.
"YOU SON OF A BITCH," I heard Norm scream angrily as Trudy came to my side along with Grace.
"Oh god she's bleeding," Trudy exclaimed looking at me with shock. Slowly the figures began to form faces as Grace replied next to her, "Don't worry, it's just her lip. He only left a couple of bruises." Then turning her anger on another figure just arriving she yelled out, "WHY DON'T YOU CONTROL THAT DOG OF YOURS!"
"Don't worry she's just fine. The boy was just trying to have fun. So what if he went a little far," Quartich replied as he and Pike helped Wainfleet up, while Max held Norm back from attacking the three of them.
"A little far? DO YOU NOT SEE HER," Grace jerked up angrily as she stomped toward him. "She's bloody, bruised, and you think he went a little far. That was an attempt at rape, you imbecile. He'd be heading to jail right now if we were back on Earth," and with that I stood and placed my hand on her shoulder. Turning to look at me I replied, "Let it go, Grace. Let the marines in their tight knit circle get away with this one. Karma will come back on his ass." Jake looked at me with shock. If this had been a few years ago I would have been repeating her exact words, but right now I was tired, hurt, emotionally bruised, and all I wanted to do was get away from all of this. Grace went to open her mouth, but Selfridge quieted her with a, "I'll deal with it, Grace. Get the girl out of here. Don't worry, this won't go unpunished." Ever so reluctantly Grace nodded and turned to me. Motioning for Trudy they both flanked my sides as they helped me down the hallway to the lab. Jake gave the group one last glare, before ordering Max to get control of Norm, and get him down to the lab.
Later I found myself sitting on a chair in the lab with an ice pack placed firmly on my forehead, along with new bandages on the small cuts Wainfleet's ring had made from the punches he had thrown. I was sore, tired, and it was all I could do to make the others believe I was 'fine'.
"You're sure he didn't go any further," Jake questioned me for the 30th time that night.
"Jake, I'm fine. Sore, but fine. If he had gone further I would have made sure no one would see those family jewels again," I growled angrily as he sighed.
"I swear if I get my hands on him, I'm going to…"
"You're going to do what, Norm? Kill him, hurt him, HA! Look what he did to me, imagine what he'd do to you while he's not drunk," I threw at him a little angrily.
"It's better than letting the imbecile get away with it!"
Trudy and I shook our heads at Norm as Jake spoke up from beside me, "I swear if I was in my avat…"
"Jake," I warned him with a simple disgruntle look. That's not something he needed to be thinking about right now. There was no need to be thinking of the 'should haves', or "if I hads.' I knew what he would do if he did, but he didn't need to be blaming himself.
"Face it, Mia. We all want him dead, and he deserves it," Trudy spoke from beside me while dabbing my slightly bleeding lip.
"The scumbag ain't worth it. None of them are. The time will come when they'll get what's coming to them. Mark my words," I said as Grace finally spoke up after remaining quiet for so long.
"Mia, at this point the system's been screwed with so bad that I'm sure they won't get what's coming to them. They'll protect their own asses whatever it takes. We're the victims, and the Na'vi are the definite victims of their cruelty. The sad thing is we're just here doing their bidding for them whether we realize it or not," Grace announced not just to me, but to everyone in the room. Her words seemed to hit Jake the hardest. I couldn't really understand why, nor did I want to for that matter. I didn't have to deal with Quartich personally, Jake did though. No telling what all he had to deal with.
"Come on you should go lie down," Trudy said however Grace spoke up, "No she needs to stay awake. As hard as he hit her he could've given her a concussion."
"I'm fine, Grace, but if you're that worried how about I link with my avatar so you'll be able to keep an eye on my brain activity. That way if anything does happen you'll be able to see it before it comes. Besides it would be nice to escape the soreness of this body for a little while," Grace thought over my request for a few moments before giving a slight nod. Trying to stand up I immediately found Norm and Trudy at my side as Max rushed to the link room to get my machine ready for me.
As Trudy, and Norm, helped me into the bed I noticed Jake was going over to his. "What are you doing," I questioned him as he opened the hatch and pulled himself onto the bed.
"I'm keeping my eye on you from the other side. I'm not taking a chance of something like that happening again. Especially knowing Atan'eko has got something out for you too," Jake explained with a strong hint of guilt in his voice. He felt like this had been his fault. That he could have prevented it if he wasn't cri…no Jake didn't need to think that. I was fine and that was all that mattered. He needed to understand I wasn't some tiny flower that needed protecting and watering.
"I'll be fine," I told him, but he didn't listen as he simply closed the hatch.
"Don't worry, Mia. He's just watching out for you," Trudy replied as Norm walked away.
"I know, but sometimes it can just be…annoying. Tommy did that for me all the time and now I'm just tired of it. I don't want him watching out for me. I can do it myself," I grumbled angrily.
"Sometimes you need someone watching out for you. You might not like it, but trust me when I say it's a good thing to have around," and with that she began to lower the hatch, "I'll see you later. Stay out of trouble." Nodding I closed my eyes and let my mind travel to my avatar.
When I awoke I was suspecting Jake to be waiting for me, but instead he was already gone. I had a clue that maybe he had gone to let off some steam, but I couldn't be sure. Either way I jumped out of my bed and made my way down to the bonfire they kept going all throughout the night. It was the normal place everyone went to eat breakfast or dinner, however unlike during those times no one was here except for a guard not too far off dosing at his post.
Taking a seat in front of the fire I let my gaze follow the sparks from the flames. Every once in a while they'd jump out toward me, but never far enough to reach me. I felt sorry for them in a way. I don't know why considering the fact if they did reach me I'd get hurt, however that still didn't stop the feeling. I wanted to reach out to them, and give them help, but the fear was there; the fear that I had been taught for years.
The fire symbolized how I felt inside right now in a way. I felt my insides burning, while the fire slowly melted my frozen heart. However this melting and this burning was leaving wounds; blackened, charred wounds. It seemed that every time a piece of the ice would drip away it seemed to create another burn. Another mistake, another problem. It made me feel like refreezing my heart and dousing the fire for good, to prevent myself from more hurt. It made me want to give up.
No matter how hard I tried to move on, no matter what I did to let people in, I'd always find those who wished to hurt me.
Right now, even in this body, I felt violated. I felt betrayed, and vulnerable. I couldn't run from the feeling. Sure I could run from the physical pain, but the mental was not an option.
Drawing my legs in closer to my body, and securing them by crossing my arms, I let my chin rest upon them. Closing my eyes I found my mind traveling to what had happened. Grimacing I tried to force away the images, but they kept coming back along with memories of the first attack I had ever endured.
'Don't let your nerves get to you.'
Remembering Tommy's words I opened my eyes and forced the images away, but every few seconds I could remember Wainfleet's drunken gaze, or putrid smell, and it almost instantly brought back the memory.
'…if you want it bad enough then fight for it.'
Shutting my eyes tight I forced my mind to think of other things. I tried to push back the memories with all my might. I did it for so long my head began to hurt, and tears were pouring down my cheeks, however when I finally did open my eyes it was as if everything that had just happened, had never occurred. Instead I felt unusually numb. Inanimate to everything around me. I was senseless. Something I knew I shouldn't be.
'Stop holding back…'
Then as if my eyes were waterfalls the tears just fell as if the floodgates had been opened. There were no sobs, just tears. Feeling a hand on my shoulder I closed my eyes as the last of Tommy's sentence echoed in my mind.
"…and let people in."
"Are you alright my child," came Mo'at's voice. Shaking my head for the first as an answer to that question, I turned to find Mo'at taking a seat next to me. Leaning into her open arms she asked, "What's troubling you my dear?" I couldn't tell her of the attack. She didn't know about the other side to me, and I definitely couldn't tell her about what had happened between Tsu'tey and I. All I could do was choke out, "I want to go home." Looking at me with a bit of shock she replied, "If you wish to leave…"
"I can't go back though. Not for a long time. Besides I don't belong there, I don't belong here. I don't belong anywhere. I'm a screw up, and I always will be," I ranted through tears, but hearing a sharp Na'vi curse I looked up at Mo'at with questioning eyes.
"You are not a 'mess up.' You belong wherever you chose to go. You go wherever your heart wishes to go. We must all follow our hearts and our spirits, and as long as we are doing that we are doing right," Mo'at explained with a non-negotiable look in her eyes. After a few moments of letting that set in she replied, "You do belong somewhere MiaSully. You belong here. Eywa meant for you to be here. You heart and mind is here with our people whether you've realized it or not."
Looking at her I found I had no words. She had no clue how much I wished she was right. How much I wished I was one of them. Sitting up I wiped my tears away. Then as I stood, she followed.
"Will you be alright now," she asked me carefully.
"I guess. Just having a moment I guess," I lied. It was more than a moment it was a times worth of pent of problems just bubbling over.
"Don't worry, the best of us have them," Mo'at said trying to make what just happened seem okay. With a nod I told her goodbye before heading to go find Tsu'tey. If I needed anyone right now it would be him. He'd understand, better than anyone. He had seen my mind, and my thoughts.
Making my way over to his leaf bed I crouched down and placed my hand on the cocoon. As it moved back he stirred ever so slightly, but that was it. Jumping into the hammock his eyes fluttered open, before turning to look at the intruder. When he saw me, and my bloodshot eyes, it was all he could do to keep from jerking up.
As he rose up, words quickly poured from his mouth, "What's wrong?" Motioning for him to follow me I jumped out of the hammock and headed up to where I normally found Sage. When we arrived I took a seat against one of the upraised branches. Tsu'tey followed as he once again asked the question he had asked earlier, but instead of answering I brought my braid forward and held it up in front of him.
Looking at me with bewildered eyes he said, "We can't…"
"Didn't stop you the first time, or the second," I threw at him, making him quiet instantly. As he looked into my eyes and saw the angst in them, he couldn't help but want to. Bringing his braid forward he placed his hand on mine that held my queue. Bringing it closer to his, we watched quietly as the queues connected with ease.
At first I felt weak as his feelings, thoughts, and memories bled into my mind. Feeling this feeling running through me I found him pulling me to him. Resting my head against his shoulder I wrapped my arms around his waist. Feeling a bit better I let him look into my mind. I let him see what had happened to me. I let him feel my pain.
Feeling his arms encircling around my waist, I felt his anger building for Wainfleet. I felt his anger building for the cruel sky-people. I felt his worry for me. Nuzzling my head into the crook of his neck I let him know I'd be fine, but he didn't believe it as he heard my thoughts from earlier.
Raising me up with his arm he looked at me with pain in his eyes; pain that I had been hurt. Placing his hand on my cheek he rubbed away a stray tear, before disconnecting our queues. I went to move away, but he stopped me. As I turned to look at him I saw a familiar look in his eyes; a look that I had seen before in another's eyes. Without question, without a thought of warning, I leaned into him and pressed my lips to his. Bringing me closer, close enough till I was almost on his lap, I found him tracing my lips with his tongue. At first I was a little shocked, but ever so slowly I opened my mouth and let him in. As he explored I let mine do the same. He tasted sweet, like the first Pandoran fruit I had ever eaten. It was all I could do to keep myself under control as one of his hands moved from around my waist and began to travel higher.
Placing my hand on the back of his neck I pulled him even closer. The kiss felt like it lasted for hours, when in fact it only lasted for mere minutes, but when I did move away from him finally I felt dazed. I felt like I was floating on air. Everything around me and him was quieted as the only thing I heard was the sound our ragged breaths and loud heartbeats pumping through our chests. I wish it could stay like this forever. I wish I never had to leave.
Pulling me to his chest, he held me close, as he barely whispered, "Happy Birthday, Mia."
Hehehe I bet you all liked this chapter didn't you. I know you had to, because this was like one of the longest chapters I've written for this story. It was also one of my favorites, and most difficult. Either way at least you now know why it took me so long to update again. I felt like I was writing a book instead of a chapter LOL. Oh those songs that were in this chapter were all by Leona Lewis on her new CD 'Echo.' It's like one of my favorite CDs so far by her. Remember guys, Leona Lewis don't exist in this story. Leona Lewis is Mia, Mia is Leona Lewis LOL. I don't own anything just so that's clear. Hope you enjoyed.
Thank you all my wonderful reviewers from taking time to click that god sent button that keeps me writing-…midnight84118… Soccer11… StephiHope… QuietStorm Aka Narusake-Koi… Archermusician… Diamond-Rose Sisters… EmyNegro… Pyra Sanada… taylorxtorniquet… Queen Larisi… Haunted Shy Girl… and FanFictionAddiction4EVER.
Also, a thanks to those who read my story and don't review. You guys may forget or you just get lazy, but I still luv ya LOL. I know you guys love the story just by looking at my stats. Thanks to you all for keeping me writing.
P.S. I'M ABOUT TO HIT 100 REVIEWS! IT WILL BE A FIRST EVER FOR ME!