+Farewells Before War+
Mia's P.O.V
When I was younger I would often wonder what I would do if I knew I was at the end of my days. I even once remember telling Tommy that I'd more than likely end up living it up in some crappy bar, and taking home some drunken idiot who came up with one of the best, or cheesiest, pick up lines. However, lying here in my makeshift bed, a few hours or so away from the battle, I couldn't help but to laugh at my old immaturity.
If you were to ask me now, at this very moment, what I wanted to do with my last few hours of life…well then I wouldn't have an answer for you. Why? Well because there was just so much I wanted to do. I wanted to right all my wrongs I had made. I wanted to be there for my brother. I wanted to be there for our friends. Yet more than ever I wanted to be by Tsu'tey's side the most. I needed to forget. I needed to feel numb to this, because I knew that the moment I finally allowed myself to feel something… it was all down hill from there. Within that moment I would realize I was probably going to die today, and if not me then it would more than likely be someone close to me.
I had lost so many over the years that anyone who didn't know me would naturally assume I could handle the concept of 'death' by now. However, they'd be wrong. No one, no matter who you are, can ever become numb to the grief that would rear its ugly head when someone close to you dies. Grief sends you into a comatose. Grief gnaws at you insides, and warps your mind in the most hideous ways. Grief is just simply put…unkind. I was not ready to feel grief again; at least not so soon after Grace's passing.
I placed my cool, bony hands over my eyes; hoping they would somehow magically hold back the tears I had withheld for the past few days.
We were too young to die.
It was that simple.
Yet, I knew that if we didn't stand up now, then it was all over; the RDA will have won. I couldn't have that on my conscience no matter how afraid I was at the moment.
This was the time to be strong; to rise above all others when they needed you most. Yet… that's not how I felt.
I felt as if I was slowly spiraling into a dark, cold abyss; to weak to claw my way back to the light. The air around me felt as if it had simply disappeared; leaving me gasping for breaths that would never come. My skin felt numb, but frozen like my insides were made absolutely of ice. However, the worst of all of this was the emotion I felt. It was like a cold splash of water to the face when I realized just what I was feeling…pure, undiluted, fear.
…and this fear was stronger than anything I had ever felt.
"You okay," Jake whispered from beside me; his eyes barely closed as he fought his own sleep.
I could have lied. I could have told him everything was fine, and be an adult about this. However, what came out of my mouth was the complete opposite of what I knew I should have said.
"I'm afraid," I choked, as fear's grip on my throat grew tighter.
Jake's eyes snapped open immediately as he quickly assessed my appearance. "Shit, you're having a panic attack," he whispered frantically as he rose up to the best of his ability. Scooting over to the link bed beside him, he propped himself up before motioning for me to come to him. Without a second thought I was in his arms; my silent tears merely transforming into heart wrenching sobs.
"Shhh, it's okay. Just take deep breaths. Everything's going to be fine," Jake whispered, holding me tighter to his chest.
I wanted to believe him. I wanted to believe everything was truly going to be 'fine', but then that would be a lie; and I knew I couldn't lie to myself any longer. There was no fooling my mind anymore.
"Mmmh what's goin' on," came a sleepy voice from behind me.
"Mia's just having a slight panic attack," Jake whispered quietly.
Way to go Jake! That's so going to put somebody at ease. I mean who wouldn't be content knowing that their friend is freaking out?
"What? Is she alright," Norm replied worriedly, as the sleep quickly wore away from his voice. Within a second's flat he was down on the floor beside me. Placing a rough hand on my shoulder, he asked, "How long has she been like this?"
"Not long. She woke up about half an hour, or so ago," Jake shrugged, before going on to say, "It's just nerves Norm. I saw a lot of marines get like this right before a big fight. Well, not particularly like this, but still."
Taking deep breaths, I managed to get myself back into control much slower than I would have liked; but I did nonetheless. Wiping my nose with the back of my hand, I carefully sat up.
"Here," Norm said, as he handed me an old worn out washcloth.
"Thanks," I mumbled, as I cleared my face of its stray tears. Breathing in deeply a couple more times, I finally spoke, "Sorry 'bout that. I guess things just sort of hit me, you know?"
"Don't worry about it, sis," Jake said, leaning forward to place a brotherly kiss on top my forehead, "I would be worried if you didn't freak out."
With a few forced chuckles at their strained smiles, I muttered, "Yeah, then I would really be calling myself a nut. I may act like I'm a super strong woman, but as you have just seen…I'm not as strong as I want to believe."
"No one can be superman…" but seeing the harsh look on my face, Norm changed it quickly to, "…I mean no one can be superwoman, Mia. We all have doubts, and we all feel something. There's not a soul who can deny that they have a weakness."
Nodding, my eyes glanced over to the still slumbering Trudy. Her mouth was hanging open ever so slightly, and very unwomanly snores were drifting out from within. Giving a quite laugh, I retorted, "Maybe all except for Trudy. She's sleeping like a baby."
The two men gave their friend/girlfriend a glance, and shook their heads in disbelief. "That woman has to be a man in disguise," Jake muttered, earning a giggle from me.
"Nope, I don't think so Jake. Trust me, I would know," Norm said with a lordly wiggle of his eyebrows.
"Okay, EW! You're sick, man."
I couldn't help but to laugh at the expression on my brother's face. It was absolutely priceless as he sat there making gagging noises. It was like the three of us were teenagers again; joking as if we didn't have a care in the world. Sadly though, we were so loud we actually managed to wake up the sleeping beast.
"God! Would you three knock it off? Some of us are actually trying to get some sleep for tomorrow," Trudy hissed from her makeshift bed.
Looking between one another, wondering if we had been caught in the act, we couldn't stop the laughter that burst forth from our lungs.
"Damn it, what is up with you three? Can't you all sleep like normal people," Trudy grumbled, as she slowly got up.
"Sorry Trudy, we're just trying to blow off some steam," I said, as I tried to cover for our asses; like always.
"And you couldn't do that tomorrow morning," she yawned, as she walked over; taken a seat beside Norm. He wrapped his arms around her tightly, and held her close. Even through his giddy façade I still could see the fear in his eyes; the fear of losing her. The same fear I was feeling for everyone earlier.
"Nope, we had to get in the 'goofing off' tonight," I smiled, as I caught sight of a grin finally gracing my female friend's lips. Yet, her grin, like Norm's, still didn't quite reach her eyes; and it only worsened when the next thing I said came rolling out of my mouth.
"I mean, for all we know this could be our last night together," I whispered oh so quietly. Yet, they had heard. I mean, a pen could have dropped outside the trailer, and they still would have heard it.
The air became still, and the noises around us seemed to freeze mechanically. No one spoke a word or moved an inch. The only sound that was made was the breath being exhaled and inhaled into our lungs almost rhythmically.
"I'm sor…" I started, but Jake wouldn't let me finish, as he replied, "No, you're right, Mia."
Looking over at him with a questioning gaze, he went on to say, "For all we know, this could be the last time we see one another together. We should be spending it joking around, and cutting up with one another. Grace would have wanted it. She might have been a tight ass at times, but she loved us like family, and I'm sure family wouldn't just sit here and ignore one another till the last minute."
Three simultaneous nods graced the room at Jakes words. I mean he was right. We were a family.
Not friends…but family.
I had never really taken the time to quite look at it like that. Yet, as I sat here glancing at the four of us, that's what I saw. No matter where we came from, and no matter our personalities, we had grown closer together; so close that anyone from the outside could look into our world, and naturally assume we were.
I guess the best things in life weren't things after all.
"You know, Jake? That's the most sense you've made so far," Norm chortled leaning his head back against the link bed.
"I think I can agree."
Shaking our heads, I gave a once over of the trailer. This was home. This was where family resides…and I was going to miss it.
An hour later….
I stepped out of the bathroom, putting my still half-way damp hair up in a ponytail. I knew it was useless to really be taking a shower, but it made me feel better. It helped me to relax, and calm my nerves…and on the plus side, I didn't smell like sweat so bad.
Making my way over to my bag of clothes, I began to strip myself of the towel I had wrapped around my body. I knew I didn't have to worry about Jake or Norm seeing me since they had already linked earlier; not to mention Trudy had already left for camp in the helicopter not to long ago.
So….I was alone.
I was left to let my mind wander on its own accord as I pulled on my underclothes almost robotically.
The day had finally come.
True, it was only early morning, and the sun hadn't quite yet made its appearance in the sky…but it was still only hours away….
….hours away until we went up against an army.
….until we breathed our finally breaths trying to fight for what we believed in.
….what others had believed in, and died fighting for long before us.
It all just seemed too surreal at the moment. It was like I was living a dream, and that any moment I'd wake back up on Earth. I would get ready for the day, and go visit my manager. I would record a song maybe, before leaving to get ready for a concert….
…but those days were over.
I was no longer that superficial, high-strung, fake I had once been. Coming here to Pandora had changed me.
Changed all of us, actually.
With a sigh, I pulled up my short khaki-shorts. When I went to button them, I found they merely hung off my body; like if you were to give them just one swift tug they'd come tumbling down.
I guess I had changed a lot; both mentally and physically.
Huffing, I grabbed a brown belt, and slipped it through the loops easily. I made sure it was tightly fastened around my waist, before throwing on one of my snuggest white tank-tops I had; even though it still hung very loosely on me.
As I was getting ready to enter the link bed, I thought twice about my bare feet. I mean, what would happen if we had to evacuate the trailer for some reason today? Walking around barefoot in Pandora wasn't the safest thing to do for a human like me. So, within a flash, I quickly threw on my old, run-down, Sketcher's sneakers, while pocketing the little breathing device Max had given to me on my birthday. As a last safety measure I looked around for the handgun I'd given back to Jake the day after I'd returned from the Thanator Clan.
Once I had located it over by the desk, I made sure to check that it still had some bullets inside, and the safety was still on. When I was reassured of both of these aspects, I took it over to my link bed, and hid it just about a foot underneath.
Feeling a little better knowing I would be secure if something happened here, I finally turned on the machine. Setting it to the right settings, I quickly hoped in, and within a simple blink of my eyes I found myself hurtling back to my avatar.
As I awoke in my Na'vi form, the first thing that invaded my senses was the sound of the people moving around outside the tent. I heard bows and arrows clacking together, as people looked over their weaponry. I listened melancholy to the grunts and screeches of the direhorses and ikrans; occasionally you could make out a roar of one of the thanators from the Palulukan Clan. Even a few shouts of children wishing their mothers and fathers good luck could be distinctly heard.
This…this was people getting ready for war…
I felt something warm brush itself up against my cheek, bringing only a sense of soothing warmth I'd come to know all to well by now. With a content-like purr, I turned to look at the culprit whom had caused this shift in emotions in me. Instantly I was met with Tsu'tey's bright glowing smile.
"Morning," he breathed softly, before placing a gentle kiss where his hand had previously been upon my cheek.
"Morning," I whispered back, as I reached up to caress his own sapphire-tinted skin lovingly, "Why are you not with Jake and the others, getting ready?"
Tsu'tey shrugged with a sad smile, only to answer me in a semi-melancholy voice, "I wanted me to be the first thing you'd see when you'd wake up."
It was not lost on me the hidden meaning within those words he'd just spoken with such love. I knew very well why he had stayed until I awoke.
Tsu'tey needed to be with me as much as he could. He wanted something to remember while he was fighting; something that would help him keep fighting. Tsu'tey needed to know that there was a reason why he was doing this for all of us. That there was someone to come home to after this was all over.
Besides which, if he died… at least he'll go knowing that we'd held one another earlier this morning. That we'd spoken soft words of sentiment in each other's ears, or that we'd kissed so passionately no other man could dare say we didn't love one another.
Without questioning him on his answer, I instead did what any other mate, or wife for that matter, would do in a situation like this. I declared undyingly in my native language, "I love you…forever, my mutxatan(1)."
"And I you, my tiyawn(2)," he whispered back, before placing a sweet kiss upon my lips; one that had me fighting to forget the world around us and just melt into him. However, before it could turn into anything else, we knowingly pulled away from one another.
"Come on, we must get ready," he mumbled sadly, before getting to his feet. Reaching out to take his outstretched hand, he helped to pull me up to my feet as well.
Quietly the both of us went to our respected sides of the tent, as we readied for the upcoming battle ahead of us.
While Tsu'tey covered himself in war paint, and placed the olo'eyktan's necklace around his neck, I made sure to double check that my bow and arrows were strong and sturdy enough to withstand the fight. I even looked over my knife to reassure myself that it was plenty sharp enough to cut through the toughest of materials; even bone. Though even then I didn't feel quite so secure, but I guess I could blame that more so on my frayed nerves at the moment. Anyway, when I was through with looking over my weapons, I moved on to get dressed in my riding gear for my ikran.
It was almost strange to be putting on the odd-like visor and pads after spending so long riding Tìvawm, but it was still familiar nonetheless. It was like going home again, as I tied the straps for the purple pads around my legs; each knot only reminding me of who I'll be riding in a while.
Sage…
I knew I could trust him to help me through this battle. Even if I was wrong about him really being Sage, I knew I could still feel safe with this beast as long as he was guiding me through the sky.
"Neytiri said she'll paint you up, if you want," Tsu'tey spoke up from the other side of the room, "I would, but I've got to go talk to Jake and the other chiefs."
"That's fine," I said with a timid nod, before grabbing my things, "I'll see you out there I guess."
Tsu'tey didn't answer. Instead he simply walked over, and pulled me into a passionate kiss. Through this kiss I knew what he was trying to convey without words.
I love you, and please be safe.
It's what any man, no matter the species, would be trying to tell you in a time such as this.
I continued to move my lips against his; molding them to form expertly into his own. Our synchronized movements were like water flowing as a stream; smooth and easy. Eywa had truly meant for us to be together, because there was no other way to describe how well we fit with one another. It was almost as if we were created to be two halves of a whole. Neither one of us could survive without the other.
After a few hesitant moments though, Tsu'tey had to force himself once again to pull away.
"You should go," he replied solemnly.
Nodding, I took one step back…then another… and another. Before I knew it I was outside the tent facing a large camp full of bustling Na'vi who were getting ready for war; a war I wasn't yet ready for.
It really seemed to hit me in that moment; almost like reality had quite literally came up and smacked me in my face.
I was really going to do this.
I was going to be fighting in a war today.
… and I would be responsible for all these people's lives, and their futures.
I felt the oncoming panic attack once again take over my being. Every few seconds my lungs constricted even more painfully than before, and my throat began to tighten to the point that not a single swallow could be made. Soon, my head began to feel strangely light, and I felt my self sway ever so slightly upon my feet.
"There you are. Come. You need to get ready," Neytiri voiced suddenly from beside me, as her cool palm enveloped my own.
Then, just with her simple presence and the small comfort she unknowingly provided, the panic attack eased away; only to be replaced by a serene sense of calm. I was fine… for now. There was no battle going on at this moment. No one was in danger… only me if I didn't get ready.
Turning around I faced my friend… no… better yet…my sister.
"Sorry," I said with a somewhat sheepish smile, as I took a moment to gaze at my sister's newly war-like appearance.
Neytiri wore almost the same multi-colored feathers of war in her hair like all the other Na'vi women had begun to around the camp. These feathers were of course accompanied by the different neon markings of paint flowing strikingly across her royal blue skin. However what really made Neytiri stand out from the rest was the riding gear she proudly wore at that moment. The glistening sweat upon her skin, along with her attire, proved she'd already been out practicing for the battle with Sezey; probably like I should have done late last night instead of goofing off.
"Come. You need to get ready," Neytiri urged once more with a forced smile. It was evident that even though she tried to ignore it, even Neytiri couldn't seem to hide the deep breaks in her own facade; the ones where the fear of the upcoming battle reared its ugly head inside her.
With weighed footsteps, I followed her over to where our friends Peyral and Tsanten sat painting one another; even Ninat was there with Taronyu getting ready quietly. Though from the four's faces you could easily see everything was not as fine as it may have appeared to be. It seemed as if the same emotion that was betraying Neytiri and I were also showing on them as well. I guess no one could be spared in fear's icy grasp; especially on a day like today.
"Sit," Neytiri ordered, as she pulled me down near a couple of bowls already filled to the brim with paint. I didn't dare disobey her. I might be a feisty person, but you didn't want to mess with Neytiri when she was already as antsy as she was.
Silently, my sister began placing similar markings upon me that were already worn by her. That included the same neon greens, blues, oranges, pale whites, and even chalky blacks. Though, as she made her almost Da Vinci-like masterpieces, I surprisingly found myself not even once making a complaint about having to sit still for her. Then again, that might be due to the fact that I was too focused on remembering all of the archery and fighting lessons I'd learned from Tsu'tey in the time that I've resided on Pandora. Going over every stance or shot, I tried to bring them to the forefront of my mind for battle. In fact, I was so engrossed in memorizing everything that I didn't even notice Anitri approaching me until she placed her paint covered hand upon my chest.
Coming out of my daze, my eyes immediately snapped to her own apologetic ones. Then I remembered why she wore that look as last night's events came rushing back to the front of my mind.
"I am sorry…for what happened last night. I didn't think I was overstepping my grounds, and…"
Holding up a hand to shush her, I spoke, "It was my fault. I jumped to irrational conclusions before taking the time to really assess the situation. It should be me apologizing; not you."
Anitri nodded, but still wore a large frown upon her lips, as she went on to comment, "Still…how I treated you in the beginning was wrong. You are an amazing warrior, you have a good heart, and you are nothing like the sky-people I've seen. You're different, and I was wrong to judge you before. It has been an honor to know you, and I took it for granted. So, once again, I would like to apologize for my own idiotic behavior."
With a gracious smile, I placed a friendly hand upon her shoulder, "You are forgiven, my friend."
Anitri's frown instantly disappeared, and she too softly placed a comforting hand upon my own shoulder, "Be safe out there today, MiaSully."
"You as well," I answered. With our amends made, Anitri got to her feet, and walked away to attend to her own duties.
"Soooo, what was all that about," Neytiri asked curiously as she finished with the paint.
"Nothing much; just a simple misunderstanding is all," I shrugged, as Neytiri continued to make me sit still so that she could began braiding back my hair. This way it wouldn't get in the way as I was riding my ikran.
"Well, at least it's resolved," Neytiri smiled.
With those words, it suddenly became quiet between the two of us, as she pulled and tugged at my hair over and over again; twisting it into the desirable braids she liked the most, and weaving in a few beads or feathers here or there. After a few minutes of the awkward silence that hung heavily in the air, Neytiri just seemed to stall all further movements with a loud sigh.
"What's wrong," I asked with concern.
"Nothing, it's just… I want you to know… if anything happens of course, that I always considered you a sister. From the first day we met, I was apprehensive about you, but within the time we grew closer… well, you became a sister to me. So, just know that if anything happens… I will not forget you," Neytiri answered morosely. Silently, I took her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.
"The same applies to you. It has since the moment my brother fell for you," I whispered, as Neytiri gave a slight watery chuckle.
"And how long ago was that," she asked in a joking tone.
"I don't know? Though, I do have an eerie suspicion that it's probably the moment when we all first met. You know? The one where you whacked him in the face with your bow? I think he has a thing for girls who can easily put him in his place," I giggled, sending her into her own fit of laughter.
With our moods lightened once again, we went on to joke about other mundane things as she finished helping me get ready. Within those moments I had with Neytiri, I found myself becoming much calmer than I had been earlier in the morning. I guess now I could tell why Jake loved her so much. She had a soothing personality; something he quite clearly needed with his large ego honestly.
Anyway, a little while later, I found myself making my way up the cliffs to visit with Tìvawm one more time. I knew this might be the last I would ever see of him if I didn't come back, and I just wanted to let him know that I did appreciate what has done for me; well, minus the trying to kill me part in the beginning. That I still wasn't too fond of.
When I finally arrived at the top of the rocks, I found my giant friend perched at the edge, overlooking the large and lively camp with half-interest. He looked so peaceful and calm, that I found myself almost turning back around not wanting to disturb his quiet tranquility. However something flared up inside of me, and I knew then that I had to do this not only for myself, but for him. So, I crept up behind him cautiously, though he barely even noticed my presence; well, at least until he caught the scent of fresh meat held securely in my hand as a peace offering (or better yet; bribery.)
"Yeah, I thought you might want some boy," I smiled, as I threw him the piece of meat; which of course he greedily gobbled down without a single thought as to why I had done this for him.
With a sad sigh, I walked over and placed my hand lovingly upon his forehead. Leaning in, I laid my head gently against his while his giant muzzle nuzzled against my stomach in comfort.
"You need to stay here, and protect the others today Tìvawm. Can I count on you to do that," I whispered, as I leaned over and connected our queues. Almost instantly I was swarmed by the creature's thoughts and emotions; and unlike what most Na'vi thought, this thanator only held gentleness for me… along with understanding as well apparently?
"Please help to protect the rest of the Na'vi while we're fighting today. Don't let any of those soldiers near here while we're gone. I need you to protect my friends and family, Tìvawm. I know you can do that. You're strong and stubborn; so I know you can. I saw that fierceness in you that first time we met," I chuckled as I remembered the first day I had set foot into the jungle. The thanator beneath me merely gave a sort of grunt-like laugh as it caught my memory as well. I guess he remembered too.
"I got to go now, but I just wanted to come up here to let you know something. (Large, shaky, inhale of breath) Tìvawm, you were not only a great adversary while I've lived here, but a good friend as well. So no matter what happens today, just know that you meant more to me than just some animal I had to use to get back into the People's good graces," and with that I disconnected our queues. Before I left I made sure to place a tiny kiss against my thanator's forehead; as a thank you for not eating me within the time I've been here on Pandora, and for helping me get to where I am at now.
After leaving the cliffs, I made my down to go find the rest of the group. There was no lying that either Trudy or Norm probably needed my help at some point, and if not them then I was sure Jake probably needed it with dealing with the other clan's chiefs. However, on my way I ran across Atan'eko; whom was currently, and surprisingly, conversing with Nirite and her family.
He seemed to be already dressed to the nines in the same neon hued paint, and vibrantly colored tribal feathers as everyone else. His bow was slung casually over his shoulders, while his right hand held tightly onto his own hand-made arrows; even then, much like myself, he still had a dagger and its hilt strapped tightly around his chest.
My friend was ready for war.
Everything about him, from his new stance to his tough appearance, screamed 'Warrior'; much like Tsu'tey's own facade had earlier this morning.
It was surprising how just then I seemed to realize that the two of them were so much alike. From the same cocky smirks to the almost identical boisterous laughs; they could have mirrored one another as blood brothers. Yet they were still so different. Where one could be completely hypocritical of someone that was far different from him, the other could easily accept that person's oddities without a skip of the beat. I guess they were truly a conundrum. Though, it recently seemed that this difficult puzzle in my life was slowly working itself out. It seemed to be becoming clearer now as to why I had gained feelings for both of these men; though the ones for Tsu'tey I knew now were much stronger.
Suddenly, breaking my train of thought, Atan'eko looked up from where he stood to see me gazing down at him. Smiling, he tentatively motioned me over to speak with them; easily catching the attention of the others. They too seemed to follow his lead.
Coming back to my senses a bit more, I ambled my way on down to stand in front of the gathered group of Na'vi.
"I see you're ready for today," Mateyo boasted with a smile, as I settled myself to stand next to my friend.
"If you count the odd feeling I'm having in my stomach right now as ready, then we must have different opinions on the matter," I joked, before answering him much more honestly, "Though, I do believe I'm as ready as I'll ever be."
At my words, I noticed out of the corner of my eye, Atan'eko giving me a comforting look; one that seemed to help somewhat numb the nervous butterflies that were currently floating around inside me.
"That's good. Remember that Eywa will be with you no matter the outcome today. To us all you are Na'vi despite whatever background you might have, and just know you will always have a place within our clan, MiaSully," Nirite smiled graciously, as she patted my cheek in a motherly-like manner.
"Thank you Nirite," I whispered, but then a question suddenly began to nag at my mind, as I noticed her odd casual-like attire, "Aren't you fighting with us today?"
Nirite gave a sad, but firm shake of her head.
"No, I'm too old I'm afraid; the same goes for Mateyo as well. However, Anitri, Taronyu, and Talion will be fighting on the ground today; along with your friend Norm… at least I believe," Nirite answered, as she turned to Atan'eko to ask, "And where will you two be?"
"In the air." "On the ground."
We both glanced at one another sadly, but behind those remorseful eyes was something else; something left over from the night before. However, knowing it was bad timing to call it out, we merely pushed it aside while we were within this group's presence.
"I want to fight, but mother won't let me," came Ni'awtu's voice from beside her mother. Laughing, I turned to the young girl, and replied, "That's because you're very valuable to her. If she lost you, then all would be for nothing."
The girl only grunted, but with understanding eyes, she spoke, "Be safe out there MiaSully, or I suspect all would be for nothing for your family too."
With a gracious smile I gave her a pat on the back, before turning my eyes back to Nirite, "Well, I better get going. I'm sure I'm needed right now."
"Yes, you better little one," and with that Nirite shooed me and Atan'eko away. Turning on our heels we began to make our way further into the camp.
For awhile the two of us walked in silence as we made our way down the trail quietly. Neither of us having the courage to speak to other about the night before, we just kept giving one another subtle glances every second or so.
Yet, after about ten minutes of awkward silence Atan'eko finally declared, "If you're waiting for another tearful goodbye, then you're not going to get one. You already know my feelings, so I don't need to voice them again."
"I know, and I wasn't expecting one for that matter," I answered. Though, upon hearing my words, Atan'eko took hold of my elbow to halt me from moving forward. Turning me around he mumbled, "You know I would have liked it if I could have been the one, but it's obvious now that I wasn't; Tsu'tey was. So, with that said, don't pretend you don't care about me even in the least. We know for a fact that I at least came in second to him."
"Yes…you did. So if what you're waiting for is a goodbye we're-getting-ready-to-go-to-war-kiss then you're going to be waiting for quite a while," I answered almost stoically.
We stood there for a moment more in a tense silence before we found we could no longer take it anymore. It started out as smiles at first, before suddenly it turned into loud peals of laughter erupting from the back of our throats. Our eyes glowed in mirth, and our bodies shook with the earth shattering giggles. It was hard for either of us to stand upright at that moment.
"I can say this, I guess," Atan'eko muttered through his thinning chuckles, "There hasn't been a dull moment with you."
"And neither has there been one with you," I giggled, while using his shoulder to hold me upright.
After our burst of laughter began to subside we leaned hesitantly towards one another. Wrapping my arms securely around his waist, and his around my back, we held one another in a tight embrace.
With my head lying against his chest I whispered, "Don't do anything stupid out there."
"Define stupid," he chuckled into my ear, as tears almost unknowingly leaked from my eyes.
Shaking my head, I moved away from him to give myself just enough room to place a tender kiss at the corner of his lips. With a watery smile, I stood up on my tiptoes, and whispered tentatively into his ear, "Here is our goodbye."
With those final words we separated from one another. Wiping my tears away, I gave him one last gentle nod, and then quickly left.
Atan'eko's P.O.V
I watched her go in silence; all the while my heart broke silently. She may have not felt anything the night before, but I had. Though, surprisingly, I had had enough courage in me to let her go; to let her be with him. Even though I found it almost killed me to do so.
I had been fighting Tsu'tey for so long about Sylwanin, that I couldn't see I'd put Mia in same position she'd been in. Somehow, deep inside, I knew I couldn't do that again; at least not to her. She didn't deserve that, and truthfully neither had Sylwanin. They had both just been innocent bystanders caught in the crossfire of mine and Tsu'tey's war of pompousness. I guess I had been too stupid to see that in the beginning; see the hurt I'd caused them no matter the fact that I loved them.
So, I knew now it was time to let her go. Let her be free, and if she wanted me then she'd come back…though that was highly doubtful. She loved Tsu'tey to much. I had seen it clearly in her eyes when we arrived here a few days ago. I was just being too stupid to let myself believe I had already lost her.
Even now, as I'd stood here with her, wanting to touch her, kiss her, love her like my whole being was telling me to do…I couldn't. Why? Because I could see in her eyes she didn't hold the same feelings for me. All of her being was centered on one Na'vi.
"I guess I should be threatening you to stay away from her, but it seems she's already made her decision."
Speaking of the devil…
"Don't worry, Tsu'tey. She has already chosen you," I sneered, as I turned around to face the man I've been fighting with for the longest time.
"She might look like her, act like her at times, but she's not her Atan'eko. She isn't Sylwanin. She's different, and that's one reason why I love her," Tsu'tey spoke as he carelessly draped his bow over his shoulder, all the while his eyes held this sort of far off look in them. Quite a similar look to Mia's when she would often speak of him.
"I know that now. Why do you think I'm letting her go," I huffed angrily with fists clenched at my side and around the wood of my arrows. Something inside of me almost flared to life; something that only wanted to sink one those poison tipped rods straight into this man's heart. It was a feeling I'd come to know all to well by now; jealousy.
However, for the life of me, I couldn't find enough strength or gall inside of me to go through with that feeling.
Why?
I guess because I knew it would hurt Mia, and that's something I didn't want no matter how bad this horrible jealousy clawed at my insides.
Tsu'tey merely shook his head at me as if I were some child. Then, with a show of courage, he stepped forward to answer, "I guess, because you honestly do love her, and that's why I'm here to speak to you."
Giving him an odd and wary look, I motioned for him to go on with what he had to say. Whatever had brought him here to see me, had to be of some significant, given the fact that he usually tried to avoid me at all costs nowadays.
"Listen, I won't be able to keep an eye on her the whole time out there, Atan'eko. I need you in the sky…with her. I need you to protect her for me, and if I don't come back-"
"You'll come back. Even if I have to drag your half-dead carcass back to her," I chuckled darkly. Tsu'tey gave me a wry grin, but continued on nonetheless, "If I don't come back, then I want you to make sure she ends up happy. I want you to take my place, because we both know you can make her just as happy as she would be with me."
"Now there's a lie if I ever saw one," I scoffed, before adding, "It'll kill her if she loses you, but I guess I'll make the promise to watch over her if something does happen to occur to you."
"Thank you. That's all I wanted you to say," and with that, he gave me simple nod, and then left me to my own thoughts as he headed back on into camp with a new confident air to his walk.
Cheeky bastard…as some sky people would say.
Mia's P.O.V
"I think all systems are a go," Trudy smiled, as she stepped back from the helicopter happily.
"I would hope so," I laughed, while quickly adding, "It'd be a little late in the game if things suddenly started falling apart now."
"No lie there," Trudy guffawed, as we took a seat upon the hard ground together. As we sat there for a moment relaxing, I took in my friend's appearance. Currently she was wearing her forest green, pilot's suit halfway on, with the rest of it tied around her waist leaving only her white tank to show. Painted around her eyes were the same blue and white war colors that Norm and I'd already put on her helicopter the day before. This look only proved to me, and to everyone, how much of a rebel Trudy really was. However, what I found the most comical about her appearance was how small she was compared to my tall Na'vi frame. She almost looked like a young child sitting next to me, as she gave a rather loud yawn.
"So, are you all good from this morning," Trudy asked cautiously; knowing that treading upon this subject was a bit risky with me. I guess you could trust her to not want to have some emotional girl-talk.
"You mean the panic attack," I asked, while gazing at the swarm of Na'vi moving about around us.
"What else would I be talking about," Trudy scoffed with a roll of her eyes, "From what Jake told me earlier it was apparently so bad that you were close to having a heart attack."
"Yeah, I guess it was bad," I mumbled, as my eyes met the ground in embarrassment, "I think it was just everything catching up to me finally; like a cold splash of reality hitting me in the face, you know?"
"Yeah, I know. We all have our own ways of dealing with this shit. That just happens to be yours. It's what makes you human, Mia," Trudy voiced, while giving me a friendly nudge against my giant arm.
"Still, that's been one of the worst panic attacks I've ever had."
"It's normal for something like this," Trudy shrugged, right before Norm came over to rest beside us. Like everyone else, he too was painted up in war paint. The only difference was he didn't wear the normal Na'vi attire. Instead he opted for a pair of tan cargo pants, matching vest, and a plain red t-shirt.
"So, I heard you're fighting with us? To bad you're gonna be stuck on the ground," I teased, as Norm simply rolled his eyes, "I'll get more action than you."
"Norm, you will never have more action than me," I laughed.
"I don't know, Mia. He does seem to get a lot of action from what I know," Trudy chuckled with an impressive wiggle of her eyebrows.
"Like Jake said this morning…EWW," I cried, right before footfalls were heard behind me.
"MiaSully," came a voice. I turned my head, and found Mo'at surprisingly standing next to me.
However, even through my peaked curiosity, I respectfully got to my feet, while asking courteously, "Yes?"
"I just wanted to come over here, and tell you that… tell you that I'm proud of you and your brother. I thought you should know that before you go off soon. You've been like a daughter to me from the beginning, and…"
Instead of letting her finish her formal speech, I leaned in and pulled her into a tight embrace. To say she was surprised could be an understatement, but after a moment of hesitance she to leaned in and hugged me back.
"Stay safe my child. Grace would be proud."
"Thank you, Mo'at…for everything you've done for me and my brother."
With those words, we pulled away from one another. Giving me one final smile, Mo'at began to walk her separate way. Just like all the others, it was just another farewell before war.
"Well, I talked to all the chiefs, and we're pretty much set to go," Jake announced as he approached us.
"Good, I'm ready to teach those bastards a lesson they won't forget," Norm declared earning laughs and eye rolls from all of us.
"So, I guess we all better get to our respected places then," I suggested, as simultaneous nods answered me. However, no one moved from their spots. It was like all four pairs of feet were rooted securely to the ground.
"I guess we'll see each other when it's all said and done then," Trudy commented.
"Yeah, I guess," I whispered, trying to hold back the tears as I looked at the three people who'd made this long journey with me.
We had changed… all of us. No matter what happened, no could ever say we hadn't become a family in the short time we'd been together. We were now brothers and sisters, through and through.
It remained silent for a little bit longer before Norm finally decided to break through the tension that had settled between us. Getting to his feet, he helped Trudy onto her own.
"I'll see you after the fight, sweetie," Norm whispered, as he bent down and placed a gentle kiss upon Trudy's cheek.
"Love you," she breathed, before reaching up to place her own kiss on his cheek as well. Just at those simple words she'd spoken it seemed as if Norm was about to burst at the seams. Smiling at the goofy look he had on his face, I called out to him as he clumsy walked away from us, "I'll be seeing you to, Norm."
"You too, Mia," he called, while narrowly missing bumping into another Na'vi. With a glare from the other man, and a sorry from Norm, he soon disappeared into the large gathering of direhorses and their riders.
"I'll see you around too, guys. Be careful out there. I don't want to have to be saving your all's asses the entire time," Trudy joked as she gave me a friendly punch to my thigh and a half-wave to Jake. With that she jumped into her helicopter, and started her up.
Leaving her to her machine, Jake and I made our way towards the cliffs after Trudy's one-of-a-kind goodbye; all the while still silently debating whether or not to give our own. We knew there was a chance this could be our last, but neither one of us was ready for our last loving words to one another. We were the last our family; our blood family. We knew that losing one or the other wouldn't be good for us; especially if we didn't make these last few quiet moments count.
Coming up upon where Toruk sat patiently waiting for Jake, I caught site of Sage resting nearby with Seyzey, and another familiar ikran; one I knew all to well to be Tsu'tey's.
"Never thought I'd see the day…" Jake muttered with an almost quiet chuckle.
"What," I asked.
"You… going off to war. You were never the soldier type," Jake teased, as he gave one of the very few braids lose from my ponytail a tug. Shaking my head, I answered, "And here I thought I'd never see the day when you'd have a Mohawk."
"Don't hate on the Mohawk. I like it," Jake laughed, while wrapping a brotherly arm around my shoulders.
"Jake, please be safe out the…"
However, he stopped me before I could finish what I had to say with his own words, "Mia, there is no being safe out there. As much as I want to say there is, there isn't. However, I'll watch your back, if you watch mine."
"What kind of sister would I be if I didn't," I smiled, as I wrapped my arm around his waist, and gave it a tight squeeze.
Neytiri's P.O.V
I watched the two siblings from a distance as I called Seyzey down to me. The two of them look so different in appearance, even despite their twin background. However, I knew in both of their hearts they were the same. Like I had once said to them so many months ago, they had strong hearts… both of them. Whether they knew it or not, they both believed in the same thing, and had similar morals.
They were brother and sister, through and through. There was no denying that at all.
"I guess you made a wise choice not killing them so many months ago. They've become a great hope to the Omaticaya," Tsu'tey replied from my side.
"As Eywa planned," I smiled, before turning to look at my friend.
"Are you happy you gave them a chance also?"
"I could say that it would have been better without her brother, but I guess I am glad. Mia means more than anything to me now, and surprisingly that includes Jake as well. Through Mia, he's becoming my brother, and you now my sister. I have no regrets," Tsu'tey smiled, as the two of them caught site of us. Waving for them to hurry up, I commented, "It's the same for me. I wouldn't trade them for anything. They've made us stronger…given us hope like you said."
"That they have," Mo'at replied, as she came upon the two us. Smiling at my mother, she turned to me and gently said, "Please be safe out there, daughter."
"I will mother," I whispered, as I hugged her tightly.
When we pulled away, she turned to Tsu'tey, and placed a motherly hand upon his shoulder also, "Watch yourself out there my son."
"I will," he answered kindly, as he placed his own hand over hers.
With that my mother reluctantly walked away from us, leaving the two of us to our own well wishes.
"Well, be safe. I'd hate to have to deal with your mate if something happened to you," Tsu'tey teased.
"I will, as long as you do the same. Mia can be just as bad as Jake," I laughed, and with that the deal was set. We'd made our farewells.
Mia's P.O.V
Jake and I leisurely made our way over to our mates whom, at the moment, stood conversing with one another quietly. It was clear to tell they too were giving their farewells to one another, and I would be shocked if they didn't. They were once betrothed to one another before we came along, and they had almost always been good friends. Not to mention Tsu'tey had once been in love with Neytiri's sister, but that's old news I guess.
Anyway, it just seemed right for them to say goodbye to each other incase this was the last time, but still… it brought up feelings in me I rather not feel at all.
As they finally noticed our approach to them, they quickly concluded their conversation, and made their way over to us.
"So, we are ready to go," Neytiri asked.
"Yes, all the others are in position to head out. They're just waiting on me to get in the air," Jake announced, with a proud grin.
"Good," she smiled, before turning to me, to ask, "You did make sure to check your bow and arrows this morning?"
"Yes, they're in top shape. I don't think Tsu'tey would have let me out of the tent without doing so. He is the best archer here; not to mention my teacher. No need to shame him," I laughed, as Tsu'tey gave a chuckle of his own before adding, "I taught you well."
"Yes, you sure did my wonderful karyu(3)," I answered, as I stood up on my tiptoes to place a chaste kiss upon his cheek, "Come on, we better get up in the air."
Jake and Tsu'tey both gave a nod of approval.
It was time to go.
We all split off from one another, and headed on over to our ikrans, or Toruk in Jake's case. As I was getting ready to call for Sage, I noticed Atan'eko mounting his own banshee nearby.
"I thought you were on the ground," I called out.
Atan'eko startled, but all the same turned to answer me back, "Tsu'tey wanted me in the air."
…and that's all he said.
With those words he'd spoken millions, and I couldn't help the smile that graced my lips from their meaning.
Turning back to the matter at hand, I called out to my ikran.
Within moments Sage came soaring down to meet me. With a resounding 'thump' the ground vibrated a bit underneath my feet as he landed next to me. Turning my eyes to meet his, I spoke, "It's good to see you again, Sage. You ready to fly?"
He merely gave me a screech in answer, before letting me happily connect our queues. Immediately, just like with Tìvawm, his emotions and thoughts swarmed inside me. I was one with him once again. Now this… this was like coming home.
I knew that no matter what happened up in the air today, I was going to be safe with Sage. He was my protector, my guardian angel, and he would watch out for me as I would him.
Climbing onto his back, I mounted my ikran like many others around me. I gave one last look around; taking in the site of Neytiri readying Seyzey for flight, and Tsu'tey making sure he had a firm grip on his bow as he swung his leg over his own banshee. Then, turning my gaze up front to where Jake sat proudly upon Toruk, I watched him urge the gigantic creature forward into the sky.
With a loud Na'vi-like war cry back to us, Jake watched as we all took to the air following his example.
No matter what happened, we knew at least we were going to go down fighting today.
I'm so sorry it's taken me a while to get this chapter together. It was almost like it refused to be written. I've struggled countless days trying to pull it together, and now here's the end result. I'm not to sure if it sounds forced or not to you all, but to me it sort of does. However, this filler had to be written to get to the goodies. Hopefully it won't deter you from the last of the story.
Anyway, it also took me awhile to get this thing up because I've had to deal with getting things ready to go to college. Who knew it took so much just to get you enrolled, and put together for one friggin' course. I think I busted a nerve in my brain from thinking to hard LOL. I'm just glad that that part is over, and I can start the actual schooling part in a week or two. (Cue the happy sigh :-).)
I've also been working on a new project that I may or may not put up. I kind of started writing it out of curiosity to see where it would go. So far it's been going well. Who knew Twilight would finally begin to appeal to me, and help to become a new muse LOL? Anyway, if I do put it up, it will be an Embry/OC story. So if you like those, be looking for it, but remember…I can't guarantee I'm gonna do it. However, if you are a big fan of Twilight stories, then you should check under my favorites on my profile. There are some pretty good stories I've got saved on there. One being a fellow reviewer's called 'Anna and the Cullens,' by: annajewel. It's not your average imprint story, but it's still got this really good plot line that has even me begging for more. Just trust me when I say this story deserves more reviews than it's been getting.
By the way, if you know of any other good twilight romance stories (preferably about the male Pack characters such as Jake, Embry, Paul, Jared, or even Sam) I'd be glad to here about them; especially if you've written them. God only knows I should be reviewing your stories, if you're reviewing mine :-). It's the least I can do for all the niceness you've bestowed upon this avatar story of mine.
Oh, before I forget, and decide run off without thinking… Here's what those Na'vi words meant when you were reading earlier.
(1) mutxatan- husband
(2) tiyawn- love
(3) karyu- teacher
Now anyway, thank you to these wonderful reviewers who took time out of their day to acknowledge me, and my story. I will forever be within your debt lol-…Kaulitz-Twins-Fangirl… jayna prime… sandradee27… Archermusician… lightan117… Emmalime… XxAnimalxInsidexX… dragon's dance… and Shadowed Replica.
Also, a big thanks to even the non-reviewers who take time to read this. Once again, my stats only show me how much you as well love what I write. This of course brings me even more joy, and gives me even more of a reason to continue writing. However, I'm always welcoming to new reviewers ;-) LOL.