CHAPTER 4

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THE GIFT OF SELF AWARENESS

"Aren't you going to explore the planet with me, Clara? It looks beautiful," Osgood said in an excited voice.

"I – I really don't feel like it. I think I'll sit this one out if it's alright with you, okay?" The Master said.

Osgood looked at her in surprise as she said, "What's wrong? Are you feeling sick or something?"

"Yeah, I am. I've suddenly developed a really bad headache. So . . . I'll just go lie down in the TARDIS, alright?" The Master said.

"Nonsense, Clara. I'm sure that your headache will leave just as quickly as it came. Go on and enjoy yourself. Don't you want to see the beauty of this place? You really should go and take a look at it now while you still can. You never know when something may happen to it," The Doctor said with a cold look in his eyes.

The Master stared at him intently now because she was finally sure of it after that last comment. He knew. He had to know.

"What do you mean by that, Doctor?" Osgood asked as even she picked up on the hidden meaning behind the Doctor's words.

"I mean that all things have an ending, Osgood. Some of them end much sooner than they should though thanks to the heartless actions of others," The Doctor said.

"You mean something's going to happen to this place?" Osgood said in horror.

"Don't tell her any more, Doctor. You've already probably ruined the trip for her just by mentioning it as it is," The Master said before the Doctor could speak.

"No, it's alright. Clara's right though. I'd really rather not know any more about the future, Doctor," Osgood said.

"I understand. Sometimes I wish that I didn't know certain things myself. Ignorance really is bliss at times," The Doctor said as he briefly looked at the Master.

That was finally it for the Master. She decided to have it out with him right then and there. She was tired of dancing around the issue.

"Doctor, you know don't . . ." The Master started to say.

Then she was suddenly interrupted by a very young girl accidentally running into her. She had been running so hard that she had almost knocked the breath out of her. The little girl almost did worse than that to herself as she started to fall backwards after bouncing off of the Master. Luckily for her though the Master instinctively grabbed the girl tightly by the shoulders and stopped her from hurting herself from a hard fall to the ground.

"Whoa! Where's the fire, sweetheart?" The Master asked as she instinctively reacted like Clara would to the situation.

Then the Master's blood suddenly ran cold as a man that she recognized very well suddenly came running up to them with an embarrassed look on his face.

"I'm so sorry for this. I only turned my back for a moment, and she got away from me. I hope that she didn't bother you too much," The man that the Master already knew was named Tremas said in an apologetic tone.

She knew this because her past self had stolen his body when her original one was dying and had used it for years. Doing this had killed Tremas and left the little girl that she was now looking at an orphan. The little girl's name was Nyssa and one day she would become the Doctor's companion after the Master's actions completely ruined her life because he had done far more than just kill her father.

He had also destroyed this planet and every other one in this corner of the universe. He had not only made Nyssa into an orphan. He had also made her into the last of her kind.

All of that was still far into the future for this version of Nyssa though. She was smiling and carefree as she looked at her father with absolute adoration in her eyes. She immediately pulled away from the Master and clung to her father as he laughed at her antics.

The Master immediately started to tear up, and her body began convulsing into violent sobs as the full weight of what she had done finally hit her now like a jackhammer. She had ruined both of these people's lives along with so many others, and nothing that she would ever do could ever even begin to make up for that.

She was a monster and there was no redemption possible for her.

"Clara? What is it?" Osgood asked in shock as Tremas and Nyssa both looked at her in complete surprise.

"Is your friend well? Is there anything that I can do to help?" Tremas asked with concern.

This just made the Master weep even more violently as it emphasized how good a man that Tremas had been.

To her surprise, she suddenly felt a supportive hand on her shoulder and looked up to see the Doctor looking at her with a look of infinite sadness and sorrow. Even more surprising than that though, he was actually looking at her with sympathy.

"Yes, I'm afraid that my friend here is very sick. I had hoped that by bringing her here for a visit to this lovely world that I would make her feel better. I can see that I was wrong though. I'm sorry for bothering you," The Doctor quickly said.

Tremas nodded and looked at the Master with sympathy as he said, "I hope that you get better soon, Miss. I'm sorry if we made things worse for you somehow."

The Master shook her head violently as she said, "No, you didn't do anything. Don't worry about it. I'll be fine."

"Yes, she will. I'll make sure of it," The Doctor said as he gave her a pointed look that spoke volumes.

She already knew that look oh so well. She had seen it several times through the centuries. He was going to try to save her.

Only she wasn't sure that she was capable of being saved. She knew for certain that she didn't deserve to be.

It was already far too late for her now.

The Doctor's face said that he clearly thought otherwise though as he slowly led her back to the TARDIS while a confused Osgood tagged along behind them. The Master took one last look back at Nyssa as she slowly walked away from her and finally came to a decision in that moment.

As soon as the three of them were back in the TARDIS, the Master said, "I really am sorry now, Doctor. I'm sorry for everything."

The Doctor dematerialized the TARDIS without even looking at her as he said, "I know. I could tell that from the moment that you looked at Nyssa. The question is what are you going to do about those feelings?"

"What are you two talking about? Why do I feel like I'm deliberately being left out of this conversation?" Osgood asked in growing frustration.

The Master looked deeply into Osgood's eyes as she said, "That's because you are. I suppose that I should let you remember the truth now. I might as well. You will remember everything that I commanded you to forget now."

Osgood suddenly looked at the Master not with horror or anger like she had expected but with just as much if not more sympathy than the Doctor had showed to her. Then Osgood did something that completely took the Master aback.

She hugged her as she said, "I am so sorry."

"Sorry for what? I'm a monster, Osgood. You shouldn't be feeling sorry for me but for that poor child that we left back there instead. That was Nyssa. I know that you of all people will recognize that name and realize the full impact of my actions on her. She has to live with what I did to her for the rest of her life," The Master said in an extremely sad and forlorn voice.

"So do you," Osgood said.

"I deserve the pain. Nyssa doesn't," The Master said.

"She dealt with it very well, Koschei. She never let what you did ruin her life. She used her pain to help others instead," The Doctor said.

The Master smiled in approval at that as she said, "I'm glad to hear it, Doctor. Maybe that's a sign because that's what I want to do too."

Both the Doctor and Osgood looked at her in surprise even as the Doctor suddenly had an almost hopeful look in his eyes.

"What do you mean by that?" Osgood asked.

The Master looked at the Doctor as she answered, "I want to keep on doing exactly what we've been doing for the last few years, Doctor. I want to help people. I know that it won't redeem me in any way but that's not the point. This isn't about me. It's about making things right with the universe. If I do enough good in order to make up for all of the suffering that I caused, then it will make a huge difference. Maybe in some way I can actually balance things out by doing just as many good things as I did evil ones."

The Doctor actually smiled for once as he said, "You don't know how long that I've waited to hear that. I thought that I never would."

The Master looked at him with sad eyes as she said, "I'm sorry. So sorry. You've reached out to me so many times, Doctor, and I always threw it right back in your face. I didn't understand though. I really didn't even begin to see how you felt about the universe and what it was that you really valued until I became Clara. I finally understand you now, Theta. You once invited me to see the universe alongside you instead of trying to conquer it, and now that I actually have done that I finally realize what you were trying to tell me back then. It's beautiful out there, Doctor, and I'm not just talking about the natural wonders. The people are beautiful too and so are their lives. I learned that from both you and Danny. Everything about being Clara finally taught me exactly why it is that you do what you do, and I know now why I lost your friendship so long ago. It was my own fault. I drove a wedge between us myself. I want to fix that now if I can. I want my friend back, Theta. I want to travel alongside you and help you just like you've been asking me to do for so long now. Both of us working together can do so much good in the universe and . . . neither of us will ever have to be alone again."

She then wrapped her arms around the Doctor and hugged him tightly. Instead of complaining or acting as if he were bothered by this as he usually would the Doctor eagerly returned her hug with one of his own.

Then he did something that she had rarely seen this incarnation do. He started crying.

"I'm sorry," The Master said as she started to cry too now.

Osgood couldn't help but smile at the two old friends finally reconciling after so many centuries apart from one another. She had to admit that in her heart of hearts she had always wanted the Master to do exactly what she was doing now from the moment that she had read that the two of them used to be best friends in UNIT's files.

Then her heart dropped as she received a call from Kate on her cell phone. She realized then that Kate must know the truth already somehow and immediately froze. She didn't want to ruin the Doctor and the Master's last chance at reconciliation. She also didn't want to betray Kate who was not only her commanding officer but also her friend.

She didn't know what to do and so the phone continued to vibrate in her pocket as it rang over and over again while she hesitated to answer it. Then she finally made a decision and refused to answer it.

She was not going to ruin this for the Doctor.

When the phone finally stopped ringing then and only then did she finally pull it from her pocket. She could only hope that she hadn't just done the wrong thing as she saw that Kate had left her a voice mail.

Osgood walked off to a far corner of the Console Room unnoticed by either Time Lord who continued to hug one another as she played back Kate's message. She could instantly hear worry and concern in Kate's voice as she listened to it.

"Osgood, where are you? Please call me back immediately. Clara is the Master! Warn the Doctor at once but do it as discreetly as possible. Tell him to bring her back here, but don't let her know what's happening. Hopefully we can capture her without too much trouble. Call me back, Osgood. Let me know what's going on there," Kate said.

Osgood began to gasp for breathe now as she became extremely upset. She felt so torn in that moment. She really didn't know what to do now.

"Inhaler," The Master suddenly said behind her making her jump and look back at her with a guilty expression on her face.

"Use your inhaler, Osgood. Then when you can talk properly again call her back. Tell her that I'm turning myself in peacefully," The Master said.

"You knew? I thought that neither of you noticed," Osgood said in surprise after she used the inhaler.

"Time Lords have much more advanced hearing than a human's, Osgood. Both of us heard the message when you played it back," The Master admitted.

"Listen to me, Koschei. You can't do this," The Doctor said defiantly.

"I have to, Theta. If they find out that you're keeping me onboard, they'll be after you for the rest of your lives. I don't want to turn the entire Earth against you. It's better this way," The Master said.

"No," Osgood said.

"What?" The Master said in surprise as the Doctor began to smile.

"I said no. I'm not doing this to the Doctor . . . and I'm not doing it to you either. You're both my friends now and I'm not breaking you up like this just as soon as you've gotten back together again," Osgood said having finally made a final decision at last.

"What do you propose on doing about it then? You have to answer her back sooner or later, Inhaler Girl," The Master said.

"I know," Osgood said as she called Kate back and motioned for the Master to remain silent by putting a finger to her lips.

Kate immediately answered as she said, "Osgood, are you alright? Has she tried anything yet?"

Osgood took a deep breath and lied to Kate for the first time in her life as she said, "Clara is not the Master, Kate. The Master used one of her regenerations in order to make herself look just like Clara in order to fool us, but the Doctor caught onto her. There was a huge fight between them, but the Master escaped unfortunately. She could be anywhere now. Luckily we got the real Clara back safe and sound though. She had her onboard her TARDIS. She was going to use her to get the Doctor to give himself up for her. Luckily the Doctor turned the tables on her and rescued Clara anyway. We're all safe now, Kate, so don't worry, okay?"

Kate sounded relieved as she said, "Well, thank goodness for that. Be careful though, Osgood. The Master could return again at any time. Let me know if you need anything. I'll speak to you later."

After Kate hung up, Osgood let out a huge sigh of relief as she said, "She believed me. I was so afraid that she wouldn't. Great. Now I'm a big fat liar."

"Join the club. You're not really one of us until you start lying," The Doctor joked.

"That's not funny, Old Man. I'm sorry, Osgood. I almost feel like I'm corrupting you which was the absolute last thing that I ever wanted to do. For the record, I really appreciate what you did for me though, and I promise that you won't ever regret it. Not if I can help it anyway," The Master said.

The Doctor looked at her in surprise because she had looked and sounded exactly like Clara in every way in that moment. All of the Master's telltale signs were gone. He wondered if she had even noticed it.

"Thank you, Clara. I mean . . ." Osgood said.

The Doctor smiled at that gaffe as he realized that Osgood had obviously subconsciously noticed the change in the Master as well.

"It's alright. You can call me that. In fact, you'd both better get used to calling me that from now on even in private so that you don't accidentally slip up later on. You should both act just as you normally would if I was still Clara," The Master said.

"Right, Boss," The Doctor said.

The Master glared at him as the Doctor said, "I'm just following your advice."

The Master shook her head at him and smiled as she said, "Whatever, Old Man. So where are we going next? Please don't pick anywhere depressing again, Doctor. I think that all of us have done enough crying lately."

"Agreed. Why don't we go somewhere that Osgood will enjoy herself for her first real trip in the TARDIS since humans place so much importance on that sort of thing," The Doctor said as he entered new coordinates into the console.

"You know I think that you're really overdoing it with the humans stuff, Doctor. You're trying to make it sound as if you're grumpy, cold, and uncaring because you're an alien when I know the real truth about you," The Master said.

"What's that?" Osgood asked curiously.

"He's just a huge jerk," The Master said with a grin.

"So are you if you didn't notice. That's why we were best friends back on Gallifrey. No one else could stand us," The Doctor noted.

"Is that true?" Osgood asked.

The Master started laughing as she said, "It's sad to say it but that's very true, Osgood. I think the fact that we're both completely mad helped too."

"We're two of a kind as our old instructor, Borusa, used to say," The Doctor agreed.

"It kind of sounds like you made the perfect pair then," Osgood said.

"Yeah, we did once," The Doctor said.

"And now we do once again. Nothing is going to separate us this time, Doctor. From now on it's you and me saving the universe together just as it always should have been," The Master promised.

That was the very moment that the TARDIS finally landed. As soon as it did, they all heard a voice calling out for help.

The Doctor immediately opened the doors to find that the entire area around the TARDIS was covered in flames. Then a young woman rushed inside coughing and choking as she sought to get to safety.

"Hurry, take off! The entire building's going up!" The woman ordered.

The Doctor dematerialized immediately even as he wondered why the TARDIS had brought them there. He certainly hadn't picked wherever they had just wound up as his next destination. He had been trying to go to the planet Barcelona to show Osgood the dogs with no noses.

The TARDIS apparently had had other ideas.

"Thank you, Doctor. I owe you my life. That is you, isn't it? I know all about regeneration so I'm not as surprised by your new face as you might think," A familiar voice to both Time Lords said as the woman continued to cover her face while she struggled to regain her breath.

"Do you need an inhaler?" Osgood asked as she offered her hers.

"No, I'll be alright in a minute I think," The woman said as she finally stopped coughing so much.

Then the Master had to bite her tongue to keep from gasping out loud as the woman finally raised her face up from her hands to reveal that she was Lucy Saxon!

What is this? Is the universe against me already? The Master thought to herself in despair.

"Lucy Saxon!" Osgood said in shock as she tried not to look too much at the Master.

"Yes, that's me but I'm not as bad as you've heard. I was more a victim than anything else. My husband was the real villain behind everything, and on top of everything else that he did to me he just tried to kill me. When I see him again, I'm going to make him pay for everything that he's ever done to me," Lucy said in a bitter voice.

The Doctor and the Master both looked at one another in alarm as she said this. The Master was deeply conflicted over this turn of events. On the one hand, she was so glad that Lucy was alright because she had been harboring so much guilt over her. On the other hand though, she now had yet another person after her blood who could possibly see right through her even in her current body if she wasn't careful. Lucy knew her better than almost anyone after all so she was going to have to really work hard to hide her true self from now on if she wanted to survive.

Almost as if she could sense what she was thinking, Lucy looked right at the Master as she said, "You seem very familiar to me somehow. Have we met before?"

"No, I don't think so. I think I'd remember meeting the wife of the Prime Minister. My name's Clara. Clara Oswald," The Master said as she shook her hand with a warm smile.

Lucy smiled enthusiastically as she said, "It's nice to meet you, Clara. I'm sure that if the Doctor trusts you that I can too."

Then after Osgood introduced herself to her too, Lucy said, "It's nice to meet you too. I hope that I can trust all of you to keep the fact that I lived a secret. I want everyone to think that I died in that fire. I'm going to dye my hair and change my appearance so that I don't get recognized anymore. I'll think of a new name later. Could you drop me off somewhere where no one will have ever heard of me, Doctor?"

The Doctor looked relieved that Lucy wanted to go as he said, "Yes, that won't be a problem. I'll just give you a few minutes to change your look."

"Thank you, Doctor. I know that I don't deserve your help but thank you anyway," Lucy said with an appreciative smile.

Despite all of this though, the Master still wasn't convinced that she was out of the woods just yet. For one thing the Old Cow was notorious for not going where the Doctor wanted her to go, and she had gone out of her way to pick Lucy up. She couldn't help but wonder if the TARDIS still had it in for her because she had dismantled her back during The Year That Never Was.

From now on she was going to have to do more than just pretend to be Clara. She was going to have to act and think as much like Clara Oswald as possible as long as Lucy was around or she would quickly find out who she really was. She was going to have to actually think of herself as Clara or this would never work.

In order to keep herself safe, she knew that she was going to have to become Clara Oswald once more in every way that she could short of using the Chameleon Arch whether she liked it or not.

Oddly enough that thought really didn't bother her half as much as she thought that it would though.

Meanwhile back on Earth, as Danny Pink was told the news from Kate that Clara was alright and was a separate person from the Master he didn't react at all like she had expected. Instead of being happy, he appeared to still be deeply troubled by something.

"Isn't Clara being alright a good thing?" Kate asked in confusion.

"What? Oh, yes. Yes, of course it is," Danny said in an unconvincing tone.

Kate had no idea what he was so bothered about, but she didn't pry any further. Danny seemed to be too lost in his thoughts to talk to anyway at the moment.

Danny meanwhile was already wondering what he would do when Clara eventually did return. He still wasn't convinced that Osgood had been telling Kate the truth just yet. Something about her story just didn't sound right to him somehow.

Before Clara returned he was going to have to find some way of determining whether she really was Clara or not. He would never rest until he knew for sure.

Next: Can the Master keep her true identity hidden from Lucy until she leaves? Will Lucy really leave that easily or will the TARDIS' next destination delay her departure indefinitely? Something tells me that it just might because I'm pretty sure that the TARDIS does indeed still have a huge grudge against the Master. Wouldn't you?