Hey guys, thank you for the reviews and sorry for the delay. I hop you enjoy this part.

Happy holidays!!

Chapter IV

Derek smiled as he felt Addison's steady breath on his chest, she had fallen asleep. He was he had managed to coax her away from her bedroom and into the daylight. It had been a good day and he hoped it had helped Addison heal. He had taken her to his favorite Italian restaurant when she had claimed she had a craving for spaghetti, they had done some grocery shopping, talking about light issues… the gossip mile at Seattle Grace, Izzie Steven taking over for her on her time off… she had really lighten up when their conversation turned towards her son. Only now was Derek beginning to realize how important this pregnancy was for her. He wasn't surprise though, Addison had always wanted children… if only… no, he reminded himself, it was better not to let his mind wonder on that direction. Pregnancy suited her, he could see her glowing even in her sleep.

He remembered how Addison had come to his office, a couple of days before Mark's death, asking to have a word with him in private. She had told him then she was pregnant and she had been so shy about it… he knew why, she was trying not to hurt him, but she felt she should be the one to tell him she and her new husband were starting a family. He had been shocked at first, he had never considered a baby was something Addison and Mark would pursue. Part of him had been a little bit sad, but this was Addison's moment and the last thing he wanted was to ruin her happiness. She deserved to be happy, she deserved to be a mother. So, he had just congratulated her and taken her into his arms.

Mark, though, had been a whole different story…

"We're talking." He had announced when he had met Mark Sloan at the nurse's station, dragging him by the arm to his office. Mark had given him an odd looked, but relented.

"Alright, can I have my arm back now, please?" Mark had asked, his sardonic little smile plastered on his face. Derek didn't have the time to tiptoe around the issue.

"Addie told me about the baby." That had shut Mark up, and he could read the same trepidation in his eyes that he had seen in Addison before. That had reminded him how close Mark and he used to be, before everything had gone wrong. As Addison, Mark was worried about him.

"Okay… Derek…"

"Congratulations, man." Derek had surprised Mark, holding out his hand. Mark smiled and took it, and before he knew it, he was giving his former best friend a manly hug. They had been trying to rebuild their friendship after Mark and Addison's wedding, but they were not always that comfortable around each other.

"Thanks."

"No… I need to say something." Derek saw Mark tense up immediately, so he started with his speech without missing a bit, "I know you love Addison, and she tells me consistently you're good to her. And she's really happy, isn't she?"

"She's glowing."

"I noticed that too. This is something she really wants, and she deserves to have it. I have not doubt in my mind she's going to be a wonderful mother…"

"But you're wondering about the 'dad' part, aren't you?"

"In all the years that we have known each other Mark, you have never ever wanted children. This is a huge deal, this is the most important thing ever. So yes, I'm wondering if you want it enough to stick by Addison…"

"Let me stop you right there, man. Listen, first of all, I worship Addison, I love her, there's nothing in the world that could prevent me from sticking by her. Second, I'm ecstatic she's pregnant. I know I'm not a family guy, I know it seems like something that would go against everything you know about me… but here's the thing Shep, when I'm with Addie, I find myself wanting things I never knew I could ever want. I went apartment shopping with her, I looked at about ten thousand different places even though I knew she was going to like better the first one we saw. I helped her move around the furniture for hours – same furniture she insisted I had to come shop for with her, even though I knew we would get whatever she wanted – so it could be perfect. I'm wearing a green sweater because she says I look great in it, and I hate this sweater Derek, but she loves it. When she told me she thought she was pregnant, I rushed to buy her a pregnancy test, I did the whole spin-her-around-the-room thing when it came out positive, even though I always thought it was cliché. I'm thinking about names and baby's furniture, I'm thinking about how we should paint the nursery… and for some reason, I can spend hours just laying by her side with my hand on her belly, even though it's too early to feel our baby move. Trust me Derek, I get this is a big deal. I get I'm about to be a father and I get that Addison is carrying my child inside her body right this second. Derek, I'm not going anywhere."

Derek didn't know what to say. He had a hard time reconciling his memories of the guy who swore no woman was ever going to manage to 'snare him', the renowned bachelor and lady's man, with this new man. That guy was standing in front of him proclaiming his love for his wife and confessing just how thrilled he was to be a father. Maybe he had nothing to worry about…

"I'm glad to hear that. This is Addison, Mark, she has gone through hell, granted, I'm one of the main reason's why. You know this is… hard for me, this is bringing back memories of a very dark time. But Addie wants it. I just needed to make sure that after everything she has been through, she's going to have you 100 behind her during this pregnancy."

"She is. And I know this is… complicated for you Derek. But trust me, we're not trying to hurt you. We're just trying to build a life together."

"I know. You two should be happy and beaming about this, not worrying about me. Just… make sure it was worth the wait, Mark. Make sure you don't miss a second of Addie's pregnancy, make sure you never lose sight of what is most important…"

"My family. Before medicine, before friends, before my freaking life. My wife and son come first, every single time."

"Good." Derek smiled, surprised at how much Mark had changed, "I gotta go now, man… listen, I didn't mean…"

"It's cool. You're looking out for Add, I can't be mad at you for wanting her to be happy… and I know you'll help keep me on track. You know, now that I'm going to be someone's 'dad'." Mark smiled, but Derek could see that he was nervous, even a little bit afraid, but excited nonetheless.

"Always, man. See ya."

"Bye." After they both left the office and Mark had started walking the other way, Derek just had to call him one more time.

"Sloan?"

"Yeah?"

"Really, congratulations." Then, Mark had smiled with a joy Derek couldn't remember ever seen on his friends face, and that had convinced him that Mark Sloan was more than ready to become a father.

"Thanks."

Now, he just felt sadness knowing Mark would never get the chance to be the father he planned to be. He wouldn't get to go to ultrasounds with Addison, hold her hand in the delivery room, cut his son's umbilical cord, wake up in the middle of the night to change diapers… and this baby wouldn't even get a chance to know his father. Matt Sloan would grow up listening to stories about his dad, how cool he was, how funny and talented, how he was the best plastic surgeon in the country, and how much he had loved his mother and him. How much he had looked forward in his final days to be Matt's dad. It was so sad, that both father and son would be deprived to even meet each other.

And then there was Addison.

Addison, who had been so happy during her short marriage to Mark. Addison, who had been looking forward to this child as much as her husband, hoping she would have him with her for all the little milestones of their baby's life. Derek would never even try to deny that he loved Addison, even if they had managed to fall out of love with each other and had gone their separate ways with their new loves. And right now, all he could think about was that Addison shouldn't have to do this alone.

In his brief conversation with his ex-brother in law, Roan Montgomery had commented that maybe Addison should come live with him, so his nephew would grow up with the benefit of a paternal figure. Still, Roan was a field reporter, he was always on the move and sometimes wasn't home – wherever home was – for months. Derek knew that as much as Addison adored her older brother, she would want a whole lot more of stability for her own life and Matt's. So, Derek had suggested that Roan should just call Addison and try to get her to open up.

The truth was, Derek hoped Addison would stay in Seattle. Of course, she had tones of friends in New York. Weisz and Sav where foremost in his mind, he knew their dear friends could help her through this. Still, Derek could remember clearly their best times in New York. It was always the three of them, Addie, Derek and Mark. Even though in the beginning Mark and Addison had barely accepted the other's presence for Derek's sake, they had managed to become great friends. And just like Derek, Mark had made it his mission in life to take care of the fiery redhead. So, Derek wasn't convinced that it would be good for Addison to go back to New York and face their old city without either of her knights in shining armor.

Damn… Mark shouldn't have died.

It had been an accident. A freaking accident! Maybe if Mark had left the hospital five minutes earlier or five minute later, he would still be alive. But he hadn't. He had left the hospital just in time for crossing the street to Joe's, where he was supposed to pick up Addison, as a sixteen-year-old boy was driving his dad's car, high. Mark never saw it coming, no one did, the kid came out of nowhere and run Mark Sloan in a swift motion, before crashing against the wall.

And while Derek Shepherd had managed to save the kid form ending up brain dead, Richard Webber had been unable to stop the massive internal bleeding that had killed one of their own. Addison had not been allowed into the gallery while her husband was in surgery, so she had locked herself in her office, allowing Miranda Bailey and Izzie Stevens to try and comfort her, assuring her Mark would be okay.

Derek had found Richard in the scrub room, shortly after Mark had flat lined. With a nod, they went to talk to the woman they both loved like family.

"Addison?" Richard called her name as soon as they entered her office. She was sitting in the carpet, Izzie holding her close. Bailey had stood up to let both men in. the moment Webber called her name, Addison lifted her eyes to face her mentor.

She had not needed anyone to say the words, she could read them on their faces.

"No…" she whispered as Izzie tightened her arms around her.

"Addie…"

"No!! No!! You don't get to tell me he… no! He can't! Richard he can't!" the scream that had come out of Addison's lips then was enough to give Derek nightmares for the rest of his life. He could feel the rawness of her pain and he couldn't help but remember the conversation he had had with Mark only to days ago. It just wasn't fair…

Another scream broke Derek's thoughts, and he faced Addison now, crawling to the floor with Izzie and Miranda both trying to calm her. Richard had walked slowly towards the woman he considered his foster daughter and offered his arms, so she could fall into them. Derek just stood there, watching as Richard Webber rocked Addison Montgomery-Sloan in his arms, whispering soothing words in her ear. Bailey and Stevens were both standing now, hanging back. Bailey had a look of pure pain in her eyes and Stevens couldn't help the tears that rolled down her cheeks.

He didn't know what to do. What the hell could he say? How could he make this better for his ex-wife? Whatever he said then, it wouldn't change the fact that Addie's husband was dead.

"Addie…?" Richard's scared voice got back Derek's attention. It took him only a second to realize what was happening. Addison had pulled away form Richard's arms and was turning very pale. She was trying really hard to breath and she looked sick. In an instant, Derek run to her desk, pulling out one of the drawers and throwing it's contents to the floor. Then he run to Addison's side and put the empty drawer in front of her just in time for her to get sick. He kept her hair out of her face and rubbed small circles on her back with his free hand. Once she was done been sick she fell back into his arms, as Izzie removed the drawer.

"Addie… breath sweetie, come on breath for me." He whispered, caressing her face and trying to steady her shaky form.

"I… I… can't…"

"You have to, Addie. Come one, you have to do it for your baby. Remember? Mark would want you to breath for your baby. Please, come on, breath…" he held her as he felt Addison inhale and exhale, trying to halter her tears and catch her breath. After a few minutes she was breathing in a normal rhythm and he allowed her to lean even farther on his body. She seemed exhausted.

"Mark is dead." She whispered, tears rolling again down her cheeks.

"I know, honey. I'm so sorry."

"Mark is dead, Derek."

"Mark is dead." He had confirmed, a tight knot forming in his throat.

"I can't do this without him."

"You can do this, Addie." He knew immediately what she was talking about.

"I can't raise this baby alone." She cried.

"You are not alone, Addie. You are never alone." He whispered into her hair, holding her even tighter.

Derek took Addison in his arms. Sleeping on the couch wasn't good for her back, especially considering her condition. He took her to her bedroom, noticing the array of pictures of her and Mark on her dresser. He laid her on her bed and took off her pair of jeans, mindful of the pressure they could be causing on her belly. Addison turned so she could lay on her belly while she slept and Derek smiled as he pulled her gently, so she was laying on her side instead of on her stomach. He knew how much Addison loved sleeping on her front side, something she was going to have to change in deference to Matt. Then, he pulled the covers over her body and kissed her softly on the forehead.

He would never forget how broken Addison had been that day, when he and Richard had gone to her to inform her that Mark was dead. He remembered he had vowed to her that she wasn't alone, and he was not planning to allow his stubborn ex-wife to go through both mourning and pregnancy on her own. He may be an inadequate replacement for Mark… but he was going to be there for her. He was going to make sure Addison got through the hell she was living in, and that her long awaited baby was delivered safely into her arms.

She was not going to be alone.

He came back downstairs, looking at the clock. He called Meredith and left a message on her machine, telling her he was not going to go home that night. He laid on the couch, getting comfortable, he might as well stay the night and give Addison a ride to her first day back at work.